Consumerist: Supersoaker

Oozinator Ooze Tested

Ben Popken — Wed, 21 Jun 2006 16:52:50 EDT

Captivated by the Oozinator squirt guns possibilities, mainly those involving its ability to shoot ooze, we ordered one. Here is the money shot. It fulfills all your hopes and dreams. This is but a preview of a longer ooze opus. Enjoy.

Read the Oozinator thread to see why we cream over this Super Soaker squirt gun.

Oozinator Doesn't Want Our Interview

popkin — Wed, 24 May 2006 13:23:22 EDT

We submitted our questions to Hasbro PR but for some strange reason we can't fathom, they're less than oozing out of their suits to speak with us.

Hey Ben-

Thanks for thinking of Hasbro and the Oozinator for your story. I'm happy to send you Super Soaker press materials but unfortunately a Hasbro spokesperson is not available for comment.

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Very best,
[redacted]

We wrote back, "When would a Hasbro spokesperson be available for comment?" but have not received a reply.

It may be time to purchase an Oozinator and conduct a thorough product review.

Tame questions, after the jump.

Thanks for your help, readers, by the way, though we must apologize for only using one of your suggestions. We did want to try to get approved, after all.

—-—-—-
Slimer from The Ghostbusters, the slime on Nickelodeon in the 80's, what is it about kids and slime?

What was the Oozinator's inspiration?

What is the Ooze made of? Does it have any other unique physical properties? Does the Ooze stain?

Have you received any complaints about the unique squirt gun? What were
kids' reactions like in the focus groups?

A caution for the toy reads, CAUTION: Do not aim at eyes or face. What
happens if the ooze gets in your eye?

What have sales been like and how do they compare to other Super Soaker
products at this point in their release cycle?

Will we see other ooze-orientated Super Soaker offerings?
—-—-

Maybe Hasbro read our Oozinator thread and thought better.

The Oozinator Delights Children

consumerist.com — Mon, 01 May 2006 05:32:54 EDT

Hasbro Marketing Executive, a glowing light bulb bouncing merrily above his skull: "I've got it! First, we'll design our new Supersoaker water gun with the shape and hue of a grotesque alien phallus. Then, instead of water, we'll make it squirt ropes of thick, opalescent ooze! Finally, we'll market it with a television spot in which a pan-ethnic rainbow of small children are the gleeful recipients to load after hot, sticky load shot all over their chests and faces! It's a win!"

Even the Oozinator sounds like someone's pet name for their masculinity... post venereal disease. Thanks, Joel!

UPDATE: There were some damn funny Amazon review pages of the product that have since been deleted. have been deleted. We've got a few archived here.