Consumerist: domino's

Domino's Pizza: Sacrificing Our Delivery Drivers So We Can Use Our New Slogan

Chris Walters — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 21:53:32 EST

Domino's has a mildly amusing television campaign right now to promote their new slogan "You Got 30 Minutes," but the fine print on Domino's site points out that this should be taken only as a suggestion, not a service guarantee: "Because safety is a priority "You Got 30 Minutes™" is not a guarantee but an estimate. You may get more." A former Domino's delivery guy is not impressed: "Some douchebag ad exec wants to trick customers into believing that the '30 minutes or it's free' guarantee is back, then leave it to the delivery drivers to explain to inevitably angry customers why their pizza isn't free when it gets there in 31 minutes."

He writes, "Just imagine your summer job consisting of this conversation 100 times a night:"

DRIVER: Um, that'll be $23.52.

CUSTOMER: No, I called before eight, that actually took thirty-four minutes.

DRIVER: I am sorry valued customer but Domino's Pizza no longer honors the thirty minute guarantee anymore thirty minutes is just an estimate I apologize for the inconvenience.

[CUSTOMER LAUGHS. THERE IS AN AWKWARD SILENCE]

CUSTOMER: You're serious? What a f*cking crock, you expect me to pay for this? I just saw the ad on tv!

DRIVER: Sir, calm down-

CUSTOMER: F*ck you, this is all your fault! If the advertising people were here I'd punch them a lot but because they're not I'm gonna pretend that you're them and by beating you it will somehow solve things!!!

DRIVER: Please don't-

[CUSTOMER STARTS BEATING DRIVER OVER THE HEAD WITH THE PIZZA...]

(Thanks to Mike!)

"On Behalf Of All Former Delivery Drivers, I Say F*CK YOU, Domino's Pizza" [Best Week Ever]

Domino's Press Release: "a Good Choice for a Healthy Diet"

Meg Marco — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 15:09:48 EST

Check out this Domino's Pizza Press Release:

Resolving to lose weight in the New Year? Don't skip your Domino's pizza. In the January issue of Glamour magazine, in an article titled "What to eat to stay slim" two slices of Domino's 12" classic hand-tossed Vegi Pizza Feast(R) and a side salad were named as a healthy meal choice.

Not in the mood for veggies? A medium hand-tossed Domino's cheese pizza is only five points on the Weight Watcher's(R) Flex Plan.

Really? Glamour said it? Wow!

"The beauty of pizza is that it can be as healthy or indulgent as you want it, and the consumer is in the driver's seat," said Tim McIntyre, Domino's vice president of communications. "If losing weight is on your wish list for 2007, you don't have to sacrifice your slice of Domino's pizza for your waistline."

Just the Facts

* Pizza is essentially a meal in itself, as you can find foods from the
four basic food groups in one slice.
* A crunchy thin crust Domino's pizza contains less than half the
carbohydrates of Domino's classic hand-tossed pizza.
* None of the core products on Domino's menu (pizza, bread side items,
chicken) contain trans fats.
* Customers seeking a healthier pizza have the option of ordering their
pizza with a lighter portion of cheese.
* The tomatoes in pizza sauce contain lycopene, which helps protect
against prostate cancer. Tomatoes are also an excellent source of
vitamins A and C.

Hey, at least the "core products" don't have trans fats. If they do add them later, does that constitute a Material Adverse Effect? Wait. Never mind. —MEGHANN MARCO

Domino's Pizza Named A Good Choice For A Healthy Diet (Press Release) [PR Newswire]

Poll: Do You Write Checks?

Ben Popken — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 14:22:54 EST

I know you've done some recent stories on RFID and how things seem to be slowly moving that way. Have you heard much recently about the demise of checks? Just this week I've noticed that Petco and Domino's (well the one near me - it may be a franchise) don't accept checks anymore.
And I'm wondering what percentage of people with checking accounts actually carry or write checks anymore (I myself have gotten to the point where I pay all my bills online and use cash or plastic in stores).

I'm wondering if this is indicative of some sort of trend, when checks will one day go the way of the 8-track. -Anne

Let's find out! — BEN POPKEN

Domino's "Brooklyn Style" Pizza vs. The New York Times

Meg Marco — Fri, 10 Nov 2006 09:33:21 EST

The New York Times has a left-wing anti-Domino's Pizza analysis up today. Far be it from the Consumerist to tell you what sort of pizza to eat, we have to admit the Domino's "Brooklyn-style" pizza fills us with ire. And we don't even really give a shit about Brooklyn pizza.

From the New York Times:

"But anyone in the Midwest who thinks this is real Brooklyn is getting fooled," he said. That's the basic message from Mrs. Ciminieri at Totonno's, who was finally persuaded to taste a Domino's slice in the name of research. "In Utah, they're going to love it because they use ketchup and American cheese on their pizzas," she said.

Mmmhmm. Suck it up, Brooklyn. This happened to "Chicago Style" a long time ago. Consumerist thinks the only argument stupider than the "Which city has the best pizza?" argument is the "Which beer is the best beer?" argument. Hint: It's not Budweiser, and pass the Lou Malnati's, please. Oh no, we didn't! Fanboys, attack! — MEGHANN MARCO

'Brooklyn Style Pizza' Meets the Real Deal [NYT]