This is the best thing we have ever posted. It's so good that we almost don't want to comment on this mp3 that Consumerist reader Vincent Ferrari recording him trying to cancel his AOL account. Like that sublime moment of virginal penetration, it's too beautiful to sully with our flatulent verbiage. Unfortunately, that sublime moment of virginal penetration happened upon the puckered lips of Vincent's own sphincter, and the penetrator was a trick named John, the most idiotic and persistent CSR to ever grace the trade.

So here's the summary: "Cancel the account. Cancel the account. Cancel the account. CANCEL THE ACCOUNT. CANCEL THE ACCOUNT. CANCEL THE ACCOUNT. FOR GOD'S SAKE JUST CANCEL THE FUCKING ACCOUNT." After every period, insert a few minutes of AOL CSR John trying to 'help' Vincent somehow figure out a way to keep on paying... generally through the ingratiating method of straight out calling him a liar.

We'll say it again: this is the best thing we have ever posted. If you have anything even remotely this good, mail us. As site creator Joel Johnson just said over AIM, "Fuck. We need more of that on Consumerist."

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Canceling AOL [Insignificant Thoughts]

UPDATE: Original story has been dugg-smashed. Here's a mirror.