![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-6536-100x100.png\")
OH G-D, WHY DID I CLICK ON THE LINK?!?!
I thought this was going to be about some insane sign in Target!
OH G-D, WHY DID I CLICK ON THE LINK?!?!
I thought this was going to be about some insane sign in Target!
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-1526773-100x100.png\")
Okay, cue the \"paradise by the dashboard light\" jokes in 3, 2, 1.....
![\"user-pic\"](\"/css/images/default.gif\")
Darn you! Now I'm gonna have \"Anything for Love\" stuck in my head for the rest of the day.
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-1523369-100x100.png\")
Darwin lied. If he was right, both she and her idiot ex-husband would be dead. My head hurts so bad trying to justify why her ex-husband would take the wheel so she could get cleaned up to get some from another dude. I give up!
Darwin did not lie. By \"fittest,\" he did not mean \"best.\" Just the traits that are most likely to propagate the species.
Watch Idiocracy and it all makes sense.
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-429082-100x100.png\")
That movie would have been an excellent comedy if it (sadly) weren't so true.
No part of \"Idiocracy\" is true. Average IQ increases year by year, not the reverse; this is known as the \"Flynn effect\". It's so pronounced that they have to update the tests every couple of years just to keep up.
That movie has proven to be eerily prophetic.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-929652-100x100.png\")
I have about one conversation about that stupid movie. It's so true, it's scary. I gotta start popping out babies to reverse this, for serious.
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-1530273-100x100.png\")
Darwin didn't lie, society just screws it all up...
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-350835-100x100.png\")
In other news ... Beauty industry experts are cautioning that users of Brazilian Waxing kits should not use them while driving. They may impair a driver's ability to focus...
Not true. I had to rewire the circuit to the cup warmer to handle the extra current but it now keeps the wax at the perfect temperature. The really isn't anything better than arriving at work smooth and ready to great the day.
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-1532254-100x100.png\")
\"At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking - I highly suggest you try it.\"
*sigh*
And I'm sure they both have children.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-6171-100x100.png\")
Yeah, he was in the backseat holding their beer cans.
This has to get into a Dave Barry column soon, as well as a Fark Florida tag.
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-1238020-100x100.png\")
Fark had this back when it was news. And yes, it had a Florida tack.
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-389492-100x100.png\")
i'm sure chuck shepherd will also cover it in news of the weird
I hope she lopped off any bits that may have stuck out.
Hmm... makes me think of the kid who killed someone while talking on the phone driving. \"Nobody ever told me it was dangerous to talk on the phone.\"
Stupid.
Common sense no longer exists.
Common sense left this world a while ago, driving a Toyota - Lord, where is this world going to ???
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-293158-100x100.png\")
*headdesk*
Obviously this couple has no common sense...
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-48863-100x100.png\")
Nothing in our lifetime will ever top this.
Nothing.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-14720-100x100.png\")
The first comment in the article wins... \"It's bush's fault\"
Just what America needs: Circumcise-as-you-Go!
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-66931-100x100.png\")
How long until the woman sues the company that manufactured the razor? \"There was no warning on the package!\"
Fortunately the people she hit weren't seriously injured, according to the article. If she'd have killed them, I would be in favor of a life sentence, foregoing any sort of trial.
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-441571-100x100.png\")
all I keep thinking is what horrible razor burn she'll get from not shaving in the shower.... OUCH.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-426969-100x100.png\")
This could have all been avoided if the ex-husband did the shaving and let her steer the car. Next time, they'll know.
That's what I can't figure out. Besides, why wasn't he driving why she shaved in the other seat?
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-624458-100x100.png\")
Hey, give story author Adam Linhardt credit for the title. \"Lacking razor-sharp focus\" - classic.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-1504-100x100.png\")
That headline is the same advice I was given when I joined the Army. I appreciated that knowledge to no end.
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-1530241-100x100.png\")
...should have bought an electric.
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-367619-100x100.png\")
Ex-hubby driving wife to meet boyfriend?
Deep...
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-1529840-100x100.png\")
what, no mug shots?
I do not want faces to go with the nightmares that are sure to follow.
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-1512420-100x100.png\")
When Tim Henson on the Distorted View Podcast calls Florida \"Our Most Fu_ked Up Sate\", he ain't just whistling Dixie. Some of the weird news stories he reads just make you shake your head.
Like that segment on the old show adam corolla and dr. drew used to host \"Germany or Florida?\" The idea was that the most fscked up stories in the news came from either place.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Loveline_games#Germany_or_Florida.3F
She was in a car with her ex-husband going to meet her boyfriend? Wow. Guess it must have been an amicable divorce.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-21984-100x100.png\")
See some comments above...
Some people live by different moral codes than others. Look around on the internet and you might find some of them...
Every parolee, dead beat dad, retired prostitute and meth addicted preacher east of the Mississippi eventually ends up in Florida. This little nugget would have barely raised an eyebrow down there.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-7874-100x100.png\")
This is obviously the fault of the automobile manufacturer. Was she driving a Toyota?
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-1528838-100x100.png\")
95' Thunderbird
\" The day before the accident, she had been convicted and sentenced to nine months of probation for DUI and driving with a suspended licence. Her licence was revoked for five years and she was ordered to get her car impounded.\"
uhhhh, what more could I add? Maybe she thought he said \"impacted\"
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-1524268-100x100.png\")
So I guess she had the windows down and all the pubes were just flying all around the car...or the windows were down and she got out and there was just a fuzzy pyramid in the seat?
Crystal meth is bad.
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-345457-100x100.png\")
Smooth lady, very smooth.
/rimshot
She should sue Target, Gillette, the Florida DOT, and her bikini manufacturer.
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-1532414-100x100.png\")
She was just complying with the road sign she saw:
http://thomasdolina.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/BikiniWaxRoad.jpg
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-64499-100x100.png\")
Shaving a kitty while driving....nice! ;)
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-1227608-100x100.png\")
they walk among us
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-1034061-100x100.png\")
She deserves a Presidential pardon.
a
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-254112-100x100.png\")
Consumerist, you missed the boat on the photo for this article. If there was ever an opportunity to use a pic of a hairless cat...
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-1528693-100x100.png\")
You know, there are so many situations where I have to ask myself \"Is it better to arrive ready and a little late or arrive on-time and not quite ready?\" I think this woman should have picked one of those 2 options.
This story makes me rock hard
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-436584-100x100.png\")
Clearly a hairy situation before and after.
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-1526916-100x100.png\")
How'd you like to be the poor bastard working at the car wash trying to vacuum up muff?
Consumerist is losing its class and becoming more and more like tmz.com.. even the headlines and captions.
Please go back to the original theme.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-387761-100x100.png\")
This is what happens when you drive on pubic roads.
Trooper should've shot them both on the spot.
![http://thomasdolina.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/BikiniWaxRoad.jpg](\"http://thomasdolina.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/BikiniWaxRoad.jpg\"){kind=link}
wait...so she was on the way to see her boyfriend and it was her ex husband who was taking the wheel while she was shaving her cootch?
Curious
My Dad when he lived in the Keys, always called Key West \"Key Weird\"
Ever been to Florida? Sounds pretty typical, actually...
It's likely that:
1. ex-husband = bodyguard
2. boyfriend = john
Curious questions began appearing in my head when I read that. I don't actually want to know but I was curious for a moment.