1 replies

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bobloblawsblog

@arsenicookie: double ew, coming from a veg...

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tonberry

something finally beat clamato!

4 replies

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cash_da_pibble

@tonberry:
You folks have obviously never had a Chabela.
Best cure for hangovers.
EVER.

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nstonep

@tonberry: I believe bud light clamato beat clamato a while ago.

Jones...they're always hilarious.

But my favorite \"what the hell?\" product would have to be the jelly bellys with the \"diaper\" flavored bean...at least that's what I remember when I was looking at the package.

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yungjerry703

@tonberry: the thought of that stuff sends cold chills down my back. tomato and seafood don't belong in a beverage together.

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thisistobehelpful

@yungjerry703: Manhattan clam chowder is delicious. Too bad the tastiness did not translate to cold beverage.

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Rectilinear Propagation

BRB, vomiting for forever

1 replies

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gStein_*|bringing starpipe back|*

@Rectilinear Propagation: dammit, that was my trashcan!

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BrotherFlounder

A Jones Soda without pure cane sugar? Doesn't that kill (some of) the point?

1 replies

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s73v3r

@BrotherFlounder: They do sell Sugar Free varieties of some of their sodas. I don't like them as much because they taste too much like Aspertaine.

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runchadrun

I'm a vegetarian and Diet Coke is an integral part of my diet.

I actually like Tofurky and I would like to know where in Southern California I can locate this fine soda. Seriously.

5 replies

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formatc

@runchadrun: Not sure how stringent you are, but Diet Coke has ingredients that may be animal-derived. Glycerin comes to mind.

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tsukiotoshi

@formatc: Vegetarians often still eat animal-derived products. It's vegans that can't do any animal-dervied anything.

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barb95

@formatc: Ya, my sister is a veg and she doesn't touch sodas or certain yogurts that contain glycerin. Even cakes with fruit on top might have it, she always has to look twice.

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BrotherFlounder

@runchadrun: Try Target; they usually carry Jones Soda.

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Kuchen

@runchadrun: You can order it from their website as part of a package: [www.myjones.com]

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Oranges w/ Cheese hates what Christmas has become

Um. This.. my stomach is doing jumping jacks after seeing this. And not in a good way. O_o

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Knippschild

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth...

4 replies

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Trai_Dep

@Knippschild: Shh. Careful, or they'll make that into a soda flavor.

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LeChiffre

@Trai_Dep: I just threw up all over my keyboard.

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Knippschild

@Trai_Dep: Oh no... this is those Harry Potter Hogwart Jelly Beans all over again!

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evilxlilbrat

@Knippschild: I second that. This is up there with cheeseburger in a can

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pecan 3.14159265

Jeffrey Steingarten famously had a list of \"foods I wouldn't touch even if I were starving on a desert island until absolutely everything else runs out.\"

This is going on my list own list of \"foods I wouldn't touch,\" along with kimchi (which is on Steingarten's list too), durian, haggis (should be self-explanatory), insects, turtle, and anything with blood as an ingredient.

November 26, 2009 9:13 PM

14 replies

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Verucalise (Est.February2008)

My SO served three years in South Korea in the army... he eats Kimchi with Ramen Noodles.

Most disgusting thing I have ever seen!

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rockasocky

@pecan 3.14159265: So I guess you're probably not interested in ever traveling to Asia...or Scotland.

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Spider Jerusalem

@pecan 3.14159265: Kimchi is fantastic. As a kid, I always loved durian. It tasted like alcoholic ice cream when properly chilled.

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JulesNoctambule

@Spider Jerusalem: Properly ripe, chilled durian is yummy! Our local Korean market carries them, but I can never convince anyone to go in on one with me.

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Toffeecake

@pecan 3.14159265: I'm Cajun, and my family and I grew up eating a lot of things that I never would have thought twice about, but apparently really freak out people in other parts of the country. We loved telling people around here, \"Try the boudin, you'll love it! Just don't ask what's in it.\"

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dumblonde

@pecan 3.14159265: Apparently turtle's yummy. Older people that ate sea turtle back when it was legal say it's delicious.

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KristinaBeana

@dumblonde: My mom looooves real snapper soup. Of course, the shot of sherry that goes on it probably helps.

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webweazel

@pecan 3.14159265:
SECONDED!
Never considered the blood thing. I'll have to add it to my list. On my list, I have organ meats and insects. No brains, eyeballs or crickets for me. Yeah, yeah, I know, flour and grains have bug parts. I can deal with that. At least they're not deep fried and smothered in chocolate.
\"Oh, but the legs are soooo crunchy!\"
*Shudder*

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pecan 3.14159265

@webweazel: I watch a lot of Andrew Zimmern and he always, always ends up cajoled into eating something with blood as an ingredient, and he's so gung ho about it. I can't do it.

Organ meats I'm not opposed to. I actually ate a lot of liver during my childhood and I didn't mind it. I also ate a lot of tripe during family dim sum get togethers, and I still like it. No shame!

@Oranges w/ Cheese has 2 cats! ahahaha.: I'm pretty adventurous when it comes to food, except when I sincerely think eating something will be detrimental to health (see blood). I oppose haggis simply because it just seems so unappetizing. It's not the ingredients, it's the combination of which just does not appeal in any way.

@Trai_Dep: I watched the Alton Brown 10th Anniversary Good Eats Special, and he played his favorite clip from Good Eats, which was the demonstration (in the woods, with bad Braveheart-mullets and kilts) of making haggis - it was a purely non-technical thing done for laughs - but the accents were so ridiculously terrible that I always associate haggis with that clip and I still can't find it appetizing.

@zandar: My grandma would eat durian, and it was apparently one of her favorites. I just remember walking into the store and smelling the faint odor of uncracked durian. And when there was one at home, you couldn't escape it once it had been cut open. The smell just followed you.

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webweazel

@pecan 3.14159265: Yeah, I loved liver when I was a kid. Why, I do not know. Kids shouldn't like stuff like that. One day, I smelled it cooking, and the bile started rising. It was like a switch. One day I liked it, and the next, couldn't even smell it without gagging. (Strangely enough, I still LOVE calf's liverwurst, but can't get it where I live.)

Happened the same with cornbread. Loved it one day, couldn't stand it the next. I can't eat cornbread, cornbread stuffing, or cornmeal fried catfish. Weird.

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s73v3r

@pecan 3.14159265: Andrew Zimmerman has what I think is the best job ever. I would take it in a heartbeat, although I don't think I could do it nearly as well as he does because I'd be vomiting all the time.

Also, just to spread the word, the Food Network is streaming episodes of Good Eats online from their site! Its not all of them, but since I don't have cable, some Alton is better than no Alton.

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pecan 3.14159265

@s73v3r: It's crazy that they haven't started to release all of Good Eats episodes on DVD (instead of doing their 'best of' DVDs). I would totally buy them! Of course, the problem with releasing all of them on DVD is that Alton Brown just reworked a lot of the recipes from the first few years, so the episodes themselves aren't as relevant if the recipes have been changed.

Alton Brown is one of my heroes, along with Mal Reynolds.

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Oranges w/ Cheese hates what Christmas has become

@pecan 3.14159265: There's nothing wrong with haggis! :(
It really does depend on where you get it though. Homemade and fresh varieties in its home country are AMAAAAZING, but the stuff we normally get over here pales in comparison because I think its been frozen first.

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Trai_Dep

@pecan 3.14159265: Oh. God.
I've had everything on your Don't List, except for Haggis, and that's only because I'm threatened by men wearing kilts holding knives in one hand and sheep intestines in the other.

...
..
.

Hey. You doing anything this Thanksgiving? I'll make it \"interesting\" for you...

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Oranges w/ Cheese hates what Christmas has become

@Trai_Dep: And anyway, its not sheep intestines. Its COOKED in a sheep stomach, but there isn't any sheep intestines in it :P

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catastrophegirl chooses not to fly

@Oranges w/ Cheese has 2 cats! ahahaha.: unless it's the vegetarian version. i have no idea what THAT is
[www.amazon.com]

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JulesNoctambule

@pecan 3.14159265: Kimchi rules! Of course, Diet Coke is on my version of that list.

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zandar

@pecan 3.14159265: Durian, brilliant! Jones needs a durian soda. And gingko fruit too. (Ginkgo fruit smells and tastes like a cross between very old parmesan cheese and vomit.)

Which brings me to... sugar free? they have to point out the gravy flavored soda is sugar free? Gag me with a spoon.

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jhench

Jones has sodas like this every year around thanksgiving/christmas time. It's more for novelty than actually wanting to drink the soda.

4 replies

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s73v3r

@jhench: I wish they would offer gravy flavored soda year round. Hey, do they have a bacon flavored one?

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catastrophegirl chooses not to fly

@s73v3r: give it a couple of months, now that it's been said....

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s73v3r

@catastrophegirl: Is that some kind of corollary of Rule 35?

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DoubleBaconVeggieBurger

@jhench: Things like these probably have some of the highest \"bought vs. consumed\" ratios. (I just made that ratio up)

Definitely something people would buy as a joke to bring along to Thanksgiving dinner.

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cash_da_pibble

@Ayarkay: Indeed, upon which you bet the nieces and nephews to take shots of the crap for $5.

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searonson

If the soda is tofurky flavored why is there a dog on the label? I am frightened by the implications.

November 26, 2009 10:23 AM

3 replies

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Nicole

Jones puts photos sent in by random people on their soda labels. They're all different, even within the same flavor of soda.

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pecan 3.14159265

@searonson: One of the novelty aspects of Jones Soda is their constantly changing label. All of the photos and art on the sodas are submitted by people all over the country, and you can vote for your favorites on the Jones Soda website. The favorites then end up on Jones Soda bottles.

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calquist

@pecan 3.14159265: Do they repeat pictures? I feel like I have never seen a duplicate, ever. I don't check often, but I saw one with a pug once and then never saw it again.

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pecan 3.14159265

@calquist: They run the same photo for a certain number of batches, but I don't think they'll reuse a photo they used 4 years ago or anything.

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Fatty Shcock

Has anyone ever tried a Jones drink before? I mean, one of the odd flavored ones? If so, how are they?

8 replies

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Toffeecake

@Smiley Massacre: There's a \"nostalgia\" blog that reviews Jones Soda holiday packs every year, if I remember correctly. It's www.x-entertainment.com . Just type \"jones soda\" in the search bar at the bottom of the page.

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dark_inchworm

I personally thought Candy Corn was vile.

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cash_da_pibble

@Smiley Massacre:
The brussels sprous taste like what i think old bowling shoes taste like.
Turkey and Gray- definitely spot on- which was weird.
Cranberry sauce was the most civil of the flavors.
And I absolutely adore the Candy Corn flavor.
Mm, vanilla corn syrup!

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nstonep

@Smiley Massacre: Too much sugar too little will.

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TheWillow

@Smiley Massacre: Odd Flavored as in Green Apple? It tastes pretty much like a green apple lollipop. Haven't had the Thanksgiving 6 Pack flavors, but I've heard they taste exactly like their real life counterparts, which is not a good thing.

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pecan 3.14159265

@TheWillow: Yeah, I think Smiley meant the Thanksgiving flavors. Green Apple and Bubblegum aren't really odd flavors - Stewart's Beverages has similar flavors like Key Lime and Peach.

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JulesNoctambule

@Smiley Massacre: My husband praised their Candy Corn soda this Halloween, and a friend tells me their turkey & gravy soda is 'odd, but not entirely unpleasant'.

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catastrophegirl chooses not to fly

@JulesNoctambule: i did give serious consideration to candy corn flavor but wasn't brave enough

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JulesNoctambule

@catastrophegirl: I got some for the spouse on clearance! He loves the real thing; it makes me want to hork. I also picked up the Blood Orange and Mojito flavours, which are good.

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sicknick

Tofurky is horrible. I have veg-head friends who will not eat it. Last Thanksgiving these friends bought one of those little tofurkey roasts and we all tried some.

Horrible. It's not even pseudo meat. It's kind of what is probably served in hell as a reward for taking your beating well that day. Except it's not that good. It's how I imagine a pasty cooked version of styrofoam to taste.

That said, I plan on buying those same friends this, just because it'll be cute as an xmas gift.

7 replies

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subtlefrog

@sicknick: I've been veg for ~30 years, vegan for 7, and damned if I can go near Tofurkey. In general, not a fan of the fake meat.

But I gotta say I love the name Tofurkey.

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veg-o-matic

@sicknick: Hickory Smoked Tofurkey Slices.
It's what the Tofurkey people have done right.

@xsmasherx: The fella loves those Italian sausages as well. Me, I can't get past that sausage-spice-smell. I have to have a window open when he cooks his.

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JulesNoctambule

@veg-o-matic: Our little cat goes absolutely apeshit over the smoked Tofurkey slices. He likes it even more than actual poultry!

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veg-o-matic

@JulesNoctambule: Cute! Our cat won't go near it, but comes running if we ever open a box of crackers. She has a weird thing for salty wheat-based products.

I used to have a serious aversion to Tofurkey just like subtlefrog but ohhh, those bastards at our local vegan cafe make a smoked tofurkey bagel sandwich that seduced me completely.

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xsmasherx

@sicknick: The Tofurkey roast has a baloneyesque taste; I prefer unturkey instead. Tofurkey Italian sausage is amazing, though.

November 26, 2009 3:21 PM

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katinka

Sadly, you can't buy the unturkey anymore. You can try to make your own tho!

http://unturkey.org/

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jacques

@xsmasherx: Do they still make the unturkey? I haven't seen it in stores since 05 or 06. Disappointing, since that was leaps and bounds better than the tofurky. I especially liked the \"skin\".

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SatisfriedCrustomer

@jacques: I think tofu turkey with the skin from a *real* turkey would be good. It would help people begin to make the transition from meat to vegetarian. Even better, a chicken wing or leg that's assembled from a real chicken BONE plus tofu meat plus real chicken skin.

This would be like 1% lowfat milk; it's not skim milk but it's partway there and nearly as good as whole.

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JulesNoctambule

@sicknick: I wonder how they cooked it? We had a line of omnivores in front of our little Tofurkey roast last Thanksgiving, pronouncing it 'tasty' and 'moister than Mom's turkey'. They ate all my homemade turkeyless gravy, too.

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TakingItSeriously is a Technopile

That's great that they are including veggie versions of their novelty holiday drinks :)

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korybing

This is nothing new for Jones Soda. They love making weird-flavored holiday drinks, and release a Thanksgiving pack every year with these sorts of flavors. It's good publicity and enough people buy it for the novelty factor.

Tofurky is alright, but I'm waiting for the Turducken-flavored Jones Soda.

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styrofoam

The novelty drinks are god-awful.

Terrible.

I did a tasting of a 'dinner' once, and they were all just horrific.

I'm a vegetarian, and I'll eat tofurkey. But damn if I'm going near this thing. It's all about the novelty. Apparently it's working for Jones, as they keep doing it every year.

1 replies

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Deezul_AwT

@styrofoam: Agreed. They are terrible, but it's great to drink them with others so you can share the terrible experience. They taste like exactly what Jeff Probst does on those food challenges on Survivor when he puts in the food in a blender and people drink it.

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veg-o-matic

Worth a shot. Literally, about an ounce to start with.

We use (non-bone-char) sugar, we drink pop - some drink it just as much as non-vegans. Don't confuse \"vegan\" with \"30-day-cleansers,\" \"sugar-busters,\" or \"diet minimalists.\"

2 replies

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subtlefrog

@veg-o-matic: Yep, I'll drink the occasional pop, though I'm not a real fan. I'll also eat junk food, just pigged out on chips & salsa. Just not with real cheese. We're HUUUMMMAANNNNN!!!!!

Sorry. Really tired, spent the day with high schoolers, felt the need to get dramatic.

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veg-o-matic

@subtlefrog: Heh. I often feel a similar dramatic urge. I think I like that. I might use that to announce my entrance to the next non-vegan restaurant I go to.

.. ok I won't, but still.

Also: best carbonated bev ever - a few ounces of Knudsen Morning Blend or Mega Antioxidant juice, mixed with lots more Raspberry Lime carbonated water, top with few slices of fresh lime. Not as sugary as regular soft drinks, twice as tasty. Plus, vodka-ready!

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sumocat

What's up with the misspelling? The Chicago Sun-Times spells \"gravy\" with an \"e\" and you guys write \"Tufurky\". Y'all need to spell-check those headlines.

2 replies

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Pink Puppet

@sumocat: Ah, that's how Tofurky is spelled. No e necessary.

And just so you know, misspellings should be e-mailed to the Consumerist team. It gets it changed faster when you're right, and makes you look less silly when you're wrong.

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Pink Puppet

@Pink Puppet: My dyslexia got the better of me. I'll hush now.

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squinko

I love Jones Soda, but their Thanksgiving pack is disgusting. I do have to give them credit for making the pop actually taste like brussel sprouts, turkey and stuffing, but that doesn't mean it tastes good. Now their pie collection that put out around XMas is delicious.

3 replies

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magic8ball

@squinko: Who eats brussel sprouts with their Thanksgiving dinner? Is that a regional thing?

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squinko

@magic8ball: I have no idea, I sure as hell don't.

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cash_da_pibble

@squinko:
Mmmyum.
Pie + Soda = win.
I gotta find me some Pumpkin Pie soda, and hoard that to last throughout the year.

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lucky929

This doesn't even sound like a good idea. I like the ideas of the Jones Holiday sodas, but really only the ones based off sweets. The ones based off food feel like a step in the wrong direction toward Willy Wonka.

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Mecharine

Would anyone drink a turkey flavored one?

1 replies

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Smashville

@Mecharine: I dunno if they would, but there's been enough of a demand for them that they keep bringing it back every year. They sell out of it in most years.

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kaceetheconsumer

I guess this means vegetarians now have sufficient market presence to catch the eye of food developers?

As in:

Homer: I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me no matter how dumb my suggestions are!

Then starts eating \"Nuts and Gum, Together At Last!\"

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Trai_Dep

Jones Soda has a wicked sense of humor. I'll bet their mixologists were laughing uncontrollably the entire time they were concocting this brew.

1 replies

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subtlefrog

@Trai_Dep: I *still* chuckle when I say Tofurkey.

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whitneyvegan

I'm vegan and I have some Tofury in the freezer waiting on Thanksgiving dinner. (It's not THAT sad). But, Tufurky soda... nah. I'm just gonna pass ...

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quirkyrachel

So I tried to imagine what that would taste/feel like in my mouth, and now I need to brush my teeth to get the taste out.

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khfurletti

just like Grandma used to make...

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Coopon

I'll confess. A few years ago a couple of my brothers and I had some of their Thanksgiving flavors. Another brother had sent them to us. It was sort of a Survivor/see who vomits competition. I would not recommend them. At all. I may not have vomitted but I suffered.

As I recall the turkey and the cranberry ones weren't too bad. The stuffing one was ugh. The pumpkin pie was like drinking potpourri. And the brussel sprout one was most likely to make you vomit (as demonstrated by one of my brothers).

Precious holiday memories.

1 replies

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Coopon

@Coopon:

If sodas that make you sick are your thing, Epcot has some free sodas from other countries you can try if you ever go there. Go into the igloo entrance and you can't miss them. Some are pretty nasty. But nowhere near as bad as those holiday Jones sodas.

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Jupichan

:/ Back when I was a vegetarian, I tried Tofurky.

It's pretty foul.

1 replies

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subtlefrog

@Jupichan: No, it's not Fowl. That's the point - it's a vegan alterna...oh, wait...nevermind.

(I agree.)

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Gracegottcha

That's just so icky that thinking about it makes me gag.

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JollyJumjuck

I had heard on a Billy Connolly routine that English soccer fans drank something called Bovril. Recently I was in a \"All Things British\" store and they sold it. It's basically like beef gravy, from what I read on the bottle. And people drink this at a soccer match? Bleh!

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HannerHearse

Sounds gross, but I can't wait to try it!

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Max2068

All I can say, is bravo to Jones for not jumping straight to Christmas. I'll take all the T-day schlock you can throw at me, since almost nobody markets for the best holiday of the year anymore.

That said, I'm with everyone who gagged a little when they imagined the taste.

November 26, 2009 10:56 AM

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BluePlastic

Yuck. This product looks more like a candidate for a Saturday Night Live spoof commercial. Hard to believe it's real! I would be interested to know if they got any orders.

November 26, 2009 11:11 AM

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B

I'll pass. After all, not even Andy'll try it: (warning, Hulu - Sorry, Non-Americans)
http://www.hulu.com/watch/111078/the-tonight-show-with-conan-obrien-andyll-try-it-tofurkey-and-gravy-soda?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+HuluRecentlyAddedVideos+%28Hulu+-+Recently+added+videos%29

November 26, 2009 11:59 AM

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edicius

Pass on the Tofurky and Gravy, but I'm interested in the Zilch Vanilla Bean.

November 26, 2009 12:21 PM

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Nick1963

Where in MA can I find this?

November 26, 2009 1:18 PM

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Underscore_Lysdexia

\"Just thought we'd remind you about this in case you thought it was a gag -- or a bad dream\"

Oh it makes me gag alright

November 26, 2009 1:36 PM

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Muusu

that's pretty disgusting.

November 26, 2009 3:11 PM

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veronykah

Tofurkey & Gravy flavored with a picture of a dog on the front? Makes me think its FOR dogs.
I'm sure mine would like it.

November 26, 2009 4:42 PM

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Thaddeus

http://www.hulu.com/watch/111078/the-tonight-show-with-conan-obrien-andyll-try-it-tofurkey-and-gravy-soda

Anyone watch Conan last night?

Oh they made LaBamba drink it... I'm not shocked at the outcome.

November 26, 2009 6:00 PM

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savdavid

Barf!

November 26, 2009 10:38 PM

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redxmagnum

I think it's admirable that Jones is making a product for veg*ns, knowing that it probably won't do all that well. Are you watching, Every Food-Based Company Ever?

November 27, 2009 8:52 AM

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banderlin

I went to order this, but the shipping was ridiculously expensive. Pass.

November 27, 2009 8:54 AM

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Meathamper

It's like the soda from hell.

November 27, 2009 9:41 AM

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korybing

Conan O'Brien recently made La Bamba drink some of this and he ended up spitting it all over himself.

So. It's got that going for it.

November 27, 2009 11:47 PM

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d

I think these guys also make a Candy Corn flavored soda. I bought some at Target one year - they had a 4 pack on sale for $0.50, so I figured what the hell, I like Candy Corn.

Oh MY GOD - worst soda ever. I took one sip and was seriously overcome with the heebie jeebies... nasty stuff...

I can only imagine the flavor this crap has...