1 replies

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theblackdog

@Munchie: Just watched that episode

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Verucalise (Est.February2008)

So what, I pretend I have my period so I don't have to have sex. Everyone bleeds LOL.

12 replies

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Toffeecake

@Verucalise(countingcalories): We just put a couple of towels down first :/

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temporaryerror

@Toffeecake:
Heh... I did that once. New GF, getting ready to go at it for the first time together... \"no problem! I'll put down a towel!\". She actually liked that idea.

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HogwartsAlum

@temporaryerror: Towel FTW. No wet spot!

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Verucalise (Est.February2008)

@Verucalise(countingcalories): MAYBE I should clarify... I was only making a joke!

I don't turn down sex, I barely get it anymore so why WOULD I lol. I just thought it would be a good comparison, and A+ answers from the men. I very much enjoyed reading.

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H3ion

@Verucalise(countingcalories): That's funny. I do the same thing.

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varro

@Verucalise(countingcalories):
\"I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.\"

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mythago

@varro: Stick to guys, then. I hate to say that because there are a lot of gay men I rather like, but I'm afraid it's them or us at this point.

@MostlyHarmless: Clearly, you're not married.

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Ratty

@Verucalise(countingcalories): Dishonesty is a great tact to take with sex, for sure.

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G.O.B.: Come on!

@Verucalise(countingcalories): That will only bring up the question of taking the rear entrance. Or exit, really.

Not me though. Just saying.

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dohtem

@G.O.B.: Come on!: \"Let me just say that if God was a city planner he would not put a playground next to a sewage system!\"

- Darald, Forgetting Sarah Marshall

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egoods

@Verucalise(countingcalories): My roommate girlfriend is on the rag ever other week... poor guy, I don't have the heart to tell him she's lying. Or has serious problems...

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Rectilinear Propagation

@egoods: I knew someone who had similar problems (it lasted weeks at a time).

Still, he should know that she's either fibbing or has health problems. It's not exactly a secret how often and how long it's supposed to occur.

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trujunglist

@egoods:

\"Poor\" guy needs to just suck it up and get a wet rag if he really wants some...

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Ratty

At other jobs I sometimes thought about self-injury to avoid going in, but hey, this guy has cajones even if he doesn't have the greatest thought-out plan.

1 replies

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Ratty

@Ratty: Dangit, that should have been Cojones.

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Taed

A similar thing has happened in my extended family. The person wanted to get out of going to work, but had called in sick so many times and their wife was just so fed up with them that they faked an attack. It didn't go so far as getting the police involved, but they \"got away with it\" until they were fired the next week or so for not coming to work for some other reason.

These adults seem to have the maturity of a 7-year-old.

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mythago

While this is generally true, don't tell me you've never worked at a job so awful that stabbing seemed preferable to going on.

It's like that Too Much Coffee Man joke. \"Would you rather work retail, or have a nail pounded through your hand?\"

\"....What *kind* of nail?\"

2 replies

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bohemian

@mythago: When you contemplate such things it is time to quit.

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Rectilinear Propagation

@bohemian: Ah, but you can't quit until you find a new job.

@mythago: That sounds like how I felt about grade school.

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nstonep

I'm trying to think of the cheapest way to get out of going to work...you could always just say you were changing your brakes last night and the jack failed but then you'd need some physical evidence (like a broken hand or arm or missing fingers)...got a meat cleaver?

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Fawkes

Ugh, it's called a sick day... Next time jab it in your heart and do us all a favor.

4 replies

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HogwartsAlum

@Fawkes: Please dude. I don't get paid sick days. I have to either use a vacation day, come in sick or just not get paid. MOST jobs I've worked don't do that.

The American worker has the least amount of time available of any civilized country in the world, and the highest rates of burnout.

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Rectilinear Propagation

Next time jab it in your heart and do us all a favor

@Fawkes: What, did reading this offend you or something?

Ugh, it's called a sick day

Also, cars run on rainbows.

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JiminyChristmas

@Fawkes: FYI, almost half of American workers have no paid sick leave. Of those, the lucky ones have the privilege of taking an unpaid day off if they are too sick to work. The unlucky ones will get fired for not coming to work with no advance notice.

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squinko

@JiminyChristmas: Oviously if you work those kind of job then you don't deserve any leave. Duh.

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ergasiophobiac

The reality of this is the exact opposite of what this short news snippet heavily implies.
[www.thesmokinggun.com]
TSG has the full details, including the police report, where it says he made the claims to attempt to NOT lose his job. He had ripped his uniform pants earlier, and didn't want to be \"written up\". Not blaming consumerist or anything, I would've expected ABC to be a \"trustworthy\" news source. Although, this is just local news.

5 replies

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JiminyChristmas

@ergasiophobiac: Hell, I would think of stabbing myself if I worked at a job where one could get \"written up.\" Something's wrong with the business culture when it sounds more like junior high than a place where grownups work.

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reishka

@JiminyChristmas: Welcome to retail. It's common there.

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kateblack

@JiminyChristmas: At the bigbox bookstore retail job I worked when I was in college, a zealous manager wrote me up for my socks not being tall enough. Seriously.

It was an OSHA violation to not wear socks on the job, but socks looked dumb with the clothes I had (and like this worker, I could not afford more), so I wore low socks that I could tuck into my shoes. The manager insisted that this wasn't good enough, and she had to SEE my socks.

The guy in this story sounds like a putz, but I feel for his circumstances. It sucks to be poor and at the whims of some impotent, bitter, middle management retail boss.

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Karita

@kateblack: I worked in the coffee shop of a big box retail bookstore when I was in college, and got written up once for having an unprofessional appearance due to my failure to wear clean clothes to work. I would have been fine if that had really been the case. But my clothes were clean when I started. The problem was they required us to wear white shirts. Those aren't likely to stay clean for long when working the Saturday afternoon coffee rush. Ugh. I was so glad I only had to stay there a year and a half.

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skrolnik

@ergasiophobiac: WTF? They're issuing the pants now too? When I worked there, pants had to be self-supplied, and you had to work there three months before you'd actually be issued an embroidered polo shirt. Until then, you had to provide your own plain blue one.

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ergasiophobiac

@skrolnik: The guy was desperate enough to stab himself to avoid an infraction. Something tells me that if Blockbuster isn't issuing pants, he might not have had enough money to just buy a new pair of pants. Possibly not enough time.

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mythago

@Verucalise(countingcalories): So you're dating the one man on the planet who doesn't say \"Well, but you can still give me a blowjob, right?\"

1 replies

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Trai_Dep

@mythago: You're quite the gentleman. I'd have skipped past oral and gone straight to roleplaying, me the Booty Bandit, her as the Fish.

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Trai_Dep

Had he only claimed \"Ninja-clad, Latino skinheads\", he not only would have gotten away with it, but Lou Dobbs would have caught wood.
Seriously: Skinheads. Latinos. Waaaay different circles on the Venn diagram.

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Overheal

Uhm, remember not too long ago, with the japanese thing?

[consumerist.com]

If you need to stab yourself to get out of work or have an excuse for ripping your uniform pants, I ask you: what the hell is wrong with this country?!

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JulesNoctambule

@Verucalise(countingcalories): So your sex life is so bad you lie to get out of it? You poor dear.

2 replies

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MostlyHarmless

@JulesNoctambule: Its called \"being married\".

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Verucalise (Est.February2008)

@MostlyHarmless: Not married, but together long enough to where he could care less if I'm satisfied or not!

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H3ion

He might have claimed that he was attacked by terrorists who wanted to steal some DVDs and he was protecting his employer's property. Nah!

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StanTheManDean

Can we get the rest of the story?

('cause there is always something hanging around the edges..... theft, drugs etc to cause such actions)

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dragonprism

I can respect this guy; after all, who would of believed the common cold or even swine flu? I mean really!

/sarcasm

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ldavis480

Wow, if this guy hates his job this much, then based on how Blockbuster has been doing and how the economy is going lately I'd say I have some good news for him.

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CommanderLogjam

Does this mean he will get fired from his job?

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NancyCpants

You know, I work retail and I've considered throwing myself down a section of stairs (not a whole flight, I'm not insane) for a good excuse to get out of work. That way I'd have bruises and scratches and stuff, probably twist the hell out of an ankle.

I'd rather be immobile and in pain than go to work sometimes. I like working, I just hate retail, even if I mostly count pills all day.

5 replies

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temporaryerror

@NancyCpants:
I considered it once when I worked as a bellman at the Holiday Inn...

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madfrog

@NancyCpants:

Maybe if you took the pills, it won't seem so bad.

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Karita

@NancyCpants: I think almost anyone who works retail feels that way a lot of the time.

And my thoughts are with all the retail employees as we gear up for the holiday frenzy. I've been there, and I'm so sorry you all have to go through it.

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EdnaLegume

@NancyCpants: I remember trying to figure out just how fast I needed to be going to hit a tree with my car and inflict just the right amount of damage to me to get out of work, (retail too) but still keep my car from being totaled and still usable.

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HogwartsAlum

@EdnaLegume: Ha ha, I've done that many times...

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HogwartsAlum

@HogwartsAlum: FIGURED, not actually hit the tree, I mean! :P

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katia802

I do understand the desire to be injured rather than go to work. Wondered how much damage it would cause if i stepped in front of the bus as it was stopping for me this morning.

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John

As a former Blockbuster employee I'd say that I completely understand where this guy is coming from.

He shouldn't have lied to the cops though.

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She Laughs

I worked with a couple of yoyahs like this. They came up with the most ridiculous claims. The best was 'getting food poisoning from eating meet too close to the bone.' ._O and 'walking pneumonia', in the same week.

Added to which, both shared an apartment than a block from our offices, so the boss walked over after weeks/months of this crap, banged on the door and told them that either they haul ass to work in the next 15 minutes or they were out of a job.

They didn't show up and then were shocked...SHOCKED, I tell you, when the boss fired them.

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cash_da_pibble

what's awful is when crap like this DOES happen to you, and no one thinks you're being honest.
It's the worst thing in the world to fall ill at work, and have to CONVINCE your manager you just puked in the employee bathroom.