var json_comments = new Array("
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Mackinstyle
October 18, 2009 12:14 AM
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The whole registry and wedding gifts scare me. Optimal use of resources would just be getting cash. Why can't that be socially acceptable yet?

I'm thinking of asking for that, and then once we buy something, we'll take cute pictures with our new blender,toaster, cutlery set, etc. and e-mail them with \"Thanks so much for the blender you sent! It's exactly what we wanted.\"

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Elginista
October 19, 2009 6:26 PM
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@Mackinstyle: Thanks all for the great tips! We're just starting to begrudgingly build our registry, and while there are a few things we know we want (a nice, matching set of good cookware, a new toaster oven to replace Ol' Sparky), we don't really need all that much stuff. The Home Depot/Lowes idea is great, as we live in an old house and are constantly doing upgrades. Maybe we can register for all the components for the new bathroom we've been planning...

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korybing
October 19, 2009 2:34 PM
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@Mackinstyle: We put a registry card in with our invitation (which I read is tacky, but I love it when other couples put registry cards in THEIR invitations, so I just did what I would want others to do for me) and the card listed where we were married but also mentioned that cash was also completely and utterly welcome. We actually had several people tell us that they were thrilled to read that because they knew we were trying to save money and really needed cash more than a bunch of towels and that they were more than happy to help with that.

Basically, it's your wedding and you can do whatever you want. if you really want cash, put that in with the \"registry\" part of your invitation, especially if your wedding is not very traditional and nobody has preconceived notions of what you're \"supposed\" to do.

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Eyebrows McGee (now with more baby!)
October 20, 2009 3:09 AM
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@korybing: I'm kind-of into people putting their wedding website in their invite, 'cause it can have info on lodging and stuff, and putting the registry on the WEBSITE. Avoids the tacky, but still makes it available.

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edosan
October 19, 2009 2:09 PM
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@Mackinstyle: \"The whole registry and wedding gifts scare me. Optimal use of resources would just be getting cash. Why can't that be socially acceptable yet?\"

Because the idea is that people are trying to help you set up a household.

SCENARIO 1: Someone buys you a blender you asked for. Hooray! Time saved!

SCENARIO 2: Someone gives you money. You have to go buy your own blender.

Of course, this only works if people only use the registry, which nobody seems to be able to do any more.

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Etoiles
October 18, 2009 3:46 PM
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@Mackinstyle: I have serious trouble buying myself expensive things. If someone gave me $100, I would be unable to use it to buy myself two sets of the dishes I really, really wanted to have and instead would stick it in the bank and shuttle it towards bills.

More responsible? Perhaps. But there's also nothing wrong with finally getting a freaking set of matching dishes not from the Salvation Army when you're approaching 30. So I'm really glad that people bought us most of the stuff off of our registry (there wasn't too much) for our wedding last weekend, and we just got some cash to supplement.

The cash is, unromantically, going to buy me a new pair of winter boots because Friday in the god-awful weather DC is having, I discovered that my 12-year-old LL Bean boots finally bit the big one. Alas!

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Kimaroo - 100% Pure Natural Kitteh
October 19, 2009 4:49 PM
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@Etoiles: This is why I wish I had registered for towels. All of the towels we have are mismatched and frayed, or otherwise ugly. But it's not something we NEED so I never go and just buy a whole new set of towels.


Maybe if we ever have a housewarming party.. if we ever buy a house.

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TBT
October 19, 2009 12:47 PM
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@Etoiles: Off topic, but LL Bean stuff usually has a lifetime warranty. If you send them the old boots (not always required) they will send you some new ones. Definitely worth a call to them!

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reynwrap582
October 18, 2009 4:07 AM
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@Mackinstyle: I think the problem with this, for us at least, is that the money wouldn't have been spent on any nice gifts, but instead on either intangibles or \"Hey, the money you gave us helped us rent this stinky UHaul with a bad transmission.\"

Money is nice, but it's also very fluid. We received some VERY nice linens, a beautiful set of dishes, a super comfy leather chair for our study, and many other wonderful gifts from our friends and families, and they'll all last quite a while and have special meaning to us. If the equivalent in cash had been given instead then, yeah, the move might have been a little less financially draining, but we would still be sleeping with itchy Dollar Store sheets and eating off plastic plates. I think the point of the nice gifts is to give the married couple some nice things to start off with.

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pecan 3.14159265
October 18, 2009 9:50 PM
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@reynwrap582: I agree with this totally. If people hadn't given us a stand mixer, we would have never purchased one for ourselves - $300 for a mixer? I can't bring myself to buy that, but I had it on our registry in case someone felt very generous. Our dishes were the same case - they're very high quality, and cost about $60 a set. I love them and couldn't have really purchased them myself without feeling a ton of guilt over it - thanks to our registry and the generosity of our family and friends, we have our wonderful plates and aren't eating off really poor quality Target plates.

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lmarconi
October 18, 2009 2:49 PM
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@reynwrap582: +1 great point! This happens every time my relatives throw a bit of money towards me for my birthday (I'm still a poor student til the end of this year). I always write back with a nice letter saying I'll use it to buy something fun, but as a frugalista it always goes to rent or my subway pass or in my savings account. Which isn't really what grandma wanted...

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Eyebrows McGee (now with more baby!)
October 18, 2009 3:13 AM
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@Mackinstyle: \"Optimal use of resources would just be getting cash. Why can't that be socially acceptable yet?\"

Primarily because gifts aren't about \"optimal use of resources.\"

@gStein: \"is it socially acceptable to ASK the bride/groom if they'll accept monetary gifts?\"

Yes, although it's more socially acceptable to ask the bride's mother or the maid of honor (or the groom's equivalents) ... the bride is supposed to say, \"Oh, no, we don't want anything, we're just looking forward to seeing you!\" two or three times before finally admitting she has a registry. Mom-of-Bride and Maid-of-Honor are allowed to answer gift questions without hedging. :)

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h3llc4t, breaker of office dress codes
October 18, 2009 12:09 PM
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@Eyebrows McGee (now with more baby!): Hrm. I was not aware of this. This will certainly make the wedding more interesting, as I am estranged from my mother, my fiance rarely speaks to his, and I am not having bridesmaids. Can we hire/nominate an official go-to contact between us?
I wish it was socially acceptable to just ask for cash. Not that the wedding is just a big cash grab, and we would certainly appreciate anything that anyone would choose to give us, but it was hard enough integrating our two homes when we moved in together. We have what we need to run a household (just not the house), we don't need another blender or linen napkins that we'll never use.

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ageekymom
October 19, 2009 12:32 PM
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@h3llc4t has a slow work day: After 25 years of marriage, I can still remember what most people gave us. When we received things we didn't need, or were duplicates, we just returned them. Some things that we couldn't return, we re-gifted or donated.

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subtlefrog
October 18, 2009 4:23 PM
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@h3llc4t has a slow work day: We've talked about this a lot. We have so much crap between us that when we get married, gifts are going to be more of a pain than a blessing. Cash, on the other hand, would be useful, because that we could put toward a house. We've agreed on no real wedding I think (we're not big on ceremony) - just a big party afterward with lots of good food and wine.

We haven't sorted out the way to deal with gifts either - so I'm glad you posted this - the advice from everyone below is really handy.

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h3llc4t, breaker of office dress codes
October 19, 2009 11:51 AM
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@All: Thank you for the excellent suggestions! I will certainly use the tips you fine ladies (and gentlemen?) gave me. It's hard, because I generally hate asking for anything- the idea of making a registry seems really awkward to me but I suppose it's a necessary evil. We have no date set for the wedding (the boy wants to get the house first, and do the wedding afterward, which I'm okay with) so there's still plenty of time to work out the finer points. We probably will end up setting up a registry at Home Depot when it comes down to it.

@Eyebrows McGee (now with more baby!): RE: asking for a small item instead of money, that's a great idea. Knowing us, it would probably be something ridiculous. \"We've tried really hard to come up with things that we needed, but because we've lived together for so long, we have most of what we need for the house. We don't expect gifts, but if you would still like to give us one, we could always use more frozen mice. Or 9mm ammo for the impending zombie invasion. Or snakes. Yeah, we could always use more snakes.\"

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Eyebrows McGee (now with more baby!)
October 18, 2009 2:54 PM
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@h3llc4t has a slow work day: \"I wish it was socially acceptable to just ask for cash.\"

Also? The trouble is that it's not socially acceptable to ask for anything. :) You must hedge to be polite.

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Eyebrows McGee (now with more baby!)
October 18, 2009 2:54 PM
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@h3llc4t has a slow work day: Heh. The thing to do is just to put out the word among your close friends and any relatives you're close to, so that more distant friends and relatives have someone to ask. Let them know exactly what you said -- we're already adults with two households to integrate so we have plenty of stuff, but we would definitely appreciate money towards our downpayment or _____. And I'd make sure you have something to fill in the blank so it sounds less cash-grabby -- Christmas ornaments, gourmet cooking supplies, additions to our pig figurine collection, etc. People feel embarrassed about giving $20, but not about giving $20 in kitchen supplies.

Remember, you can have registries at places like Home Depot, if you want tools or home repair supplies -- and you can put gift cards on the registry -- and I think it's often worth it to register somewhere like Crate & Barrel because you can register for $3 pie servers that even your 12-year-old cousin can pick out and afford. I had a pretty complete kitchen already when I got married, but I registered for a bunch of serving utensils, stirring spoons, ladels, spatulas, that kind of thing, that I didn't have much of and didn't like what I had (and that may wear out or get gross a little faster). A lot of my broke friends got me $20 of kitchen supplies and were very pleased to have that option.

Also Zoe's advice is really good. :)

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catastrophegirl chooses not to fly
October 18, 2009 4:06 PM
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@Eyebrows McGee (now with more baby!): my cousin just went ahead and put the riding lawn mower on the registry at lowe's. it pretty much indicated to people that in addition to the other things on the registry that gift cards toward the $1200 mower would definitely be appreciated.

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Eyebrows McGee (now with more baby!)
October 18, 2009 4:24 PM
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@catastrophegirl: Yeah, I think it's always a good idea to have a real range of stuff on a registry ... I think the cheapest thing on our registry was 99 cent egg cups. (The most expensive was probably settings of silver.) Same thing with the baby registry -- we went from $2 toys to $300 carseat. We got some Target (registry location) gift cards from people who didn't want to bother with picking stuff out, but knew we could put it towards that carseat.

I hate it when I look at someone's registry and the cheapest thing on there is a $200 place setting ... and no gift cards. They've definitely put a price on your \"ticket\" to the wedding.

I have a friend who, when she's either invited to a wedding like that or when she's invited to a wedding/baby shower of someone she barely knows and it's clearly a gift-grab ... she finds the ugliest piece of useless silver she can find at one of those engraving places, one that's just barely within the bounds of good taste, and has it engraved. So they can't ever use it, can't display it because it's ugly, but can't regift it and it's just barely tasteful enough that they think she picked it on purpose.

I don't have that kind of money to burn but I find it HILARIOUS!

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pecan 3.14159265
October 18, 2009 9:53 PM
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@Eyebrows McGee (now with more baby!): A few months ago, I found myself standing in a Pottery Barn, complaining to high heavens that the people we were wedding shopping for had not only selected extremely expensive items, but had not compensated by having a good range. It was either the $60 serving plate, the $140 sheets or the $200 plate settings and such. The cheapest thing was a $7 serving spoon. We felt bad about only getting them a few things, but we had a budget and there was no way we were going to break it for six glasses that cost $50.

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lmarconi
October 18, 2009 2:51 PM
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@h3llc4t has a slow work day: I think that's the reason why cash has become more acceptable. It used to be that you were asking for stuff to start out your life in your new home as a married couple, but now many people live with each other, have already set up a home together and have most the things that they need. In these cases, I think it's more acceptable, or at least understandable to ask for cash...

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ZoeSchizzel
October 18, 2009 1:50 PM
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@h3llc4t has a slow work day: Is someone throwing you a shower or a party? It might be good to let her (or him) run gift interference if that person can be trusted to be tactful. Do NOT include registry information in the shower invitations. When someone calls asking for registry information, simply instruct the hostess to say, \"Belinda isn't registered anywhere...I KNOW!? She says she doesn't really need anything because she and Bob combined all of their household items, and she just wants a party rather than a shower. I'm just going to give her some cash. I can't afford much, but I know she's saving to upgrade the appliances in her kitchen, and every little bit will help.\"


If someone asks you directly what you'd like as a gift, reply, \"After we've combined both of our households, I wish I could think of something we need. As it is, we're running out of space for the things we have. Just come and have a great time at the wedding.\" If the person asking has ANY social intuition, she will infer that you could probably benefit from a cash gift rather than a gift gift. Of course you open yourself up to the possibility that you will have a room full of cashless/giftless guests.

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flyingember
October 18, 2009 2:57 AM
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@Mackinstyle: It never works that way. Even with a registry 1/3 of the people won't use it.

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gStein_*|bringing starpipe back|*
October 18, 2009 2:45 AM
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@Mackinstyle: is it socially acceptable to ASK the bride/groom if they'll accept monetary gifts? (i figure, if that's what they want, and it's easier for me... why go out of my way to get them something less useful?)

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Gizmosmonster
October 18, 2009 1:01 AM
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@Mackinstyle:

By the time the big day arrives, this fact is often forgotten, but sometimes a wedding is about more than the financial transactions. \"Optimal use of resources\" is great in theory- but little having to do with a wedding makes optimal use of resources! The flowers, the food, the fancy dress and rented tuxes are a waste of money from a practical sense. But we do it anyway (some more than others if course)in order to share that special day.

My husband's grandmother gave us a nice check, and we were eternally grateful, But the delicate linen and lace handkerchief she picked out at the lacemaker's shop in Italy and handed to me as I was about to walk down the aisle has a greater value to me than any size check.

Another example. Whenever pull out that exact same red mixer from my wedding, I think about my sister, and how she taught me to make homemade pretzels and cookies that look like Martha Stewart baked them.

I love using the things passed down to us or given to us at our wedding. I hated registering. The Moms insisted. I prefer to get something that reflects the giver.

I did break my no giving cash rule recently. My husband's best friend was getting married, but the honeymoon - a train trip through Northern Europe, was going to have to wait a year. The bride collects old toys, so I tracked down an old toy train with a boxcar that had a lid. Then I gathered up the Euros left over from our honeymoon 4 years ago, and contacted friends and family and asked them to bring any leftover euros they had. We ended up with about 300 euros, mostly donated in 5's or smaller. Everyone wrote a message to the couple on a slip of paper we added to the boxcar with the cash, along with a note that it was for the \"getting there\" expenses of the first day- tips, taxis, food. They loved it.

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bobloblawsblog
October 19, 2009 2:32 PM
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@Gizmosmonster: now, if it was something thoughtful, i would be more accepting of gifts. my cousin -in-laws always seem to re-gift shitty gifts - incense and candles, stupid santa salt shaker, etc.

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yume_ryuu
October 18, 2009 12:37 AM
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@Mackinstyle: Getting cash for your wedding is customary in Japan. No one does gifts. Its dumb and everyone here realizes that you can't use a blender to pay for the bills that come along with a wedding.

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nagumi
October 18, 2009 12:46 AM
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@yume_ryuu: Customary in Israel too. My mom once showed up to a 250 person wedding with a big ornamental serving plate and found that there was no gift basket at the door - just a safe with a slot (again, customary here). She leaned the plate up against the safe.

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feckingmorons
October 18, 2009 12:19 AM
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Look at the FedEx tracking number, it should give you an idea of who sent it. Then ask whatever store sent it.

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flyingember
October 18, 2009 2:58 AM
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@feckingmorons: Unless it's like my wedding where 90% of the people who came lived in the same two cities. Fedex info only goes as close as the city level.

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kewlfocus
October 18, 2009 12:30 AM
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@feckingmorons:

Hey, Chris here, the package was sent from Target.com, so the FedEx tracking number only goes back to wherever Target.com's distribution center is in Irving, TX.

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feckingmorons
October 18, 2009 12:53 AM
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@kewlfocus: Can't target cross reference the FedEx number with the order?


Whenever I order something trackable they email me the tracking number. They should be able to correlate one with the other and tell you who ordered it.

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kewlfocus
October 18, 2009 12:59 AM
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@feckingmorons:

Target told me they can't do anything at all without an order number, which would have been on some sort of packing slip. I even asked if there was any info on the FedEx label they could use and they told me no.

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wickedpixel
October 18, 2009 1:44 AM
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@kewlfocus: try target again and get your call escalated. they have to have some record of the transaction - what if you wanted to return the item and refund the original purchaser? you just got a lazy CSR that didn't want to do a little digging. We use a backend customer management system at work that can search on basically any part of the order - there's no way a company as big as Target doesn't have something at least that sophisticated.

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tubedogg
October 18, 2009 2:45 AM
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@wickedpixel: Where I work we also have a CRM system as well as an order system developed in-house; however we would have no way of finding an order simply based on the tracking number. The company I work for is at least as big as Target, financially speaking.

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wickedpixel
October 18, 2009 3:03 AM
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@tubedogg: tracking, maybe. but i can't believe there would be no way to search on shipping address.

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hills
October 18, 2009 12:21 AM
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I suggest having a friend or family member ask around to try and determine the gift giver, so that a thank you may be given.... In the meantime, you may want to remove the item from your registry so that you don't receive two.
Congratulations!

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jparadise
October 18, 2009 4:20 AM
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@hillsrovey:

Yep, this is a job for your Maid of Honor or one of the mothers to figure out.

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Ophelia42
October 18, 2009 1:56 AM
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@hillsrovey:

If you are having a shower prior to the wedding, you may find out. I had an item shipped in a similar manner prior to my baby shower. I found out who gave it to me at the shower.

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kewlfocus
October 18, 2009 12:31 AM
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@hillsrovey:

Thanks. That will probably be the last resort. I guess I could ask during the reception. \"Hey, who gave us this awesome mixer?\"

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nagumi
October 18, 2009 12:48 AM
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@kewlfocus: actually, that sounds like a great idea (asking at the reception). Even during speeches! It'd be funny!

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tackhouse1
October 18, 2009 12:30 AM
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@hillsrovey: I agree with Hills, have a friend or family member ask around.

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Changed my name to \"I like potatoes\"
October 18, 2009 12:28 AM
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Strange that there would be no label on the box that had any shipping info (a label from Target - not Fed Ex). That's usually protocol when things are shipped in the manufacturer's packaging. They will usually put a sticker that has the order number and if there is a gift message, it's on that sticker as well.

On a side note - that is the best mixer ever. My KitchenAid mixer is 15 years old now and still going strong. My mom has one that's over 30 years old.

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webweazel
October 19, 2009 4:57 AM
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@changed my name: I'm glad you like your KitchenAid mixer. I LOATHE mine. I can't make hardly anything in it, because the beaters stay 1/4 inch from all sides, so creaming butter and sugar is out, unless I want to CONSTANTLY scrape the sides down, in that 1 inch of space it allows me to reach in with the spatula. Even making meringues, there's always unbeaten dregs in the bottom, and I have to get out my hand-held to finish it off. The bowl hanger BANGS around so loud, I can't stand it. God forbid I want to pour an ingredient into that 1 inch of space without using a funnel or rolling up a piece of paper to pour it in. And I like to \"spin off\" batter from the beaters after I'm done, not shove the beater down deep into the batter to pull off the beater AND bowl at the same time. (I've been baking pretty well for over 30 years, so I know my way around a mixer, I'm not a n00b or anything.) Since it was an expensice gift to me, (and the person who got it for me is around a lot) I can't really sell it and buy the Sunbeam I want, so there it sits. Gathering dust. And my $15 hand-held does all the work. Maybe mine is just not right or something, but to me, KitchenAid is just hype anymore.

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wrjohnston91283
October 19, 2009 12:35 PM
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@weazel662:
You can adjust the space between the beaters and the bowl. You want it to be just barely touching - if it rubs on the bottem the white enamel will wear off the bottom of the beater. There is a screw in the \"neck\" of the mixer that allows you to raise or lower the head.


You can also get a flat beater with rubber flaps that will scrape the sides - look up Beater Blade on Amazon. I haven't bought one yet, but I want to for the exact reason you're finding.

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webweazel
October 19, 2009 8:53 PM
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@wrjohnston91283: I DO understand that the beaters should not touch, but the gappage is WAY too large to work correctly. I have adjusted that screw REPEATEDLY, and still no go. I mean, that's great that I can get a flat beater with rubber sides to scrape the bowl, but my point is, why in the hell should I? What about the whip? I can't do meringues, cookies, or frostings in it. Do they have a rubber-flapped whip to buy also? I bet not. Why does a very expensive, \"luxury\" item not do what it's supposed to do right out of the box without lots and lots of frustration? (and me swearing like a sailor fighting with it) Or having to buy a bunch of expensive accessories for it to do its job correctly? And I'll say again-it's all hype. To hell with the consequences, next yard sale, this baby's gone.

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wrjohnston91283
October 18, 2009 1:17 PM
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@changed my name:


I love my KitchenAid - I have heard that the newer ones won't last as long as the ones from the 70s-80s (like everything made these days), but its still a great machine.

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QuantumRiff
October 18, 2009 2:17 AM
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@changed my name: Not that strange.. Someone could have seen it on the registry, bought it, And then walked it into a fedex store (like kinko's) and had it shipped. That would explain the lack of outside packaging. If you look at the tracking number, it would at least tell you the town that it started from, possibly the address.

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tubedogg
October 18, 2009 2:47 AM
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@QuantumRiff: OP specifically stated that it was shipped directly from Target.com. So if the gifter bought and shipped it themselves, it wouldn't be coming from the retailer.

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kewlfocus
October 18, 2009 12:32 AM
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@changed my name:

Yeah, I thought it was really strange too. There is only the FedEx shipping label, even opened the box and nothing in there but mixer documentation.

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Thricebanned
October 18, 2009 12:34 AM
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I'll be glad to send along my address in case this is an unwanted/unwelcomed gift.

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bohemian
October 18, 2009 12:35 AM
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They probably forgot to \"send it as a gift\". That usually has the proper mention of who sent it via Amazon or Target.com.

Maybe process of elimination? If you know who showed and who else gave you what items it would at least shorten the list of potential givers of the gift.

If you don't want it you can send it to me. :-)

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tubedogg
October 18, 2009 2:49 AM
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@bohemian: That still wouldn't explain the lack of a packing slip, especially if it was NOT marked \"as a gift.\" Specifically with Amazon even if something ships in only the manufacturer's packaging, they slap a sticker-envelope on the side with a packing slip inside. Don't know about Target though.

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rachaeljean
October 18, 2009 12:45 AM
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There's really only so many options here:

1. call FedEx (however, if they just sent it from a Target warehouse, no help there)

2. call Target... again. Try giving them the tracking number and maybe with a more resourceful rep you can figure it out?

3. Ask around. I don't see why this is not your first instinct. There's nothing \"embarrassing\" or \"faux-pas\" like about this - you recieved a gift, and need to know who it's from to properly thank them. Simple as that. I would start with your immediate family, and then work your way out from there. If it were me, I would start with my mother-in-law to-be and then see if she can spread word to the more distant relations you may not know very well personally. Think of a birthday party, where a card might be separated from a gift. You don't secretly wonder who sent it, all the while being quiet about it, right? You would - hopefully, while you're opening your gifts! - say \"Oh, there's no card... Does anyone know who sent this?\" Really, a non-issue!

4. Wait, wait, and wait... then after 6-12 months have passed from your I do's, whip out a checklist and see who attended but didn't get you a gift, and go by a dicey process of elimination.

Obviously, asking is the best method. Certainly better than writing in to a famous blog ;)

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Kimaroo - 100% Pure Natural Kitteh
October 18, 2009 2:57 AM
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@rachaeljean: I would not place bets on the mixer giver being at the wedding. I had quite a few wedding gifts shipped to me from out of town relatives that couldn't make the trip.

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gStein_*|bringing starpipe back|*
October 18, 2009 2:46 AM
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@rachaeljean: i'd consider TMZ a slightly more famous blog than consumerist (not better, mind you. more famous.)

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kewlfocus
October 18, 2009 12:57 AM
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@rachaeljean:

Yeah, you are probably right. I do know that the majority of my family are non-techies and have probably never heard of the consumerist though.

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LoadStar
October 18, 2009 12:47 AM
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Are you certain that there is no packing slip? I know that occasionally when I order from certain vendors, when they ship an item in the original manufacturer packaging, they'll fold up the packing slip and slide it into the box through whatever crack they can find. Have you completely unpacked everything, opened all the box flaps, etc., to make sure it's not just stuffed in?

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ecwis
October 18, 2009 1:09 AM
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@LoadStar: Also, shippers occasionally use order numbers as their \"reference numbers\" with FedEx. If you look in the tracking details, it's possible that there's a reference number which is in fact the order number. I assume you don't want to post the tracking number for privacy reasons though...

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kewlfocus
October 18, 2009 1:30 AM
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@ecwis: Actually, this looks like this will work. I forgot that they did that, and there is a reference number that looks like it could be an order number. Thanks! I'll let you know how it turns out after I hear back from Target!

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kewlfocus
October 18, 2009 12:58 AM
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@LoadStar:

Just to be sure I just opened up the package again, pulled everything out. There is nothing in there besides mixer stuff. It really is odd.

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ecwis
October 18, 2009 1:06 AM
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@kewlfocus: When companies send items in the manufactuer's packaging, they usually affix the packing slip to the outside in an envelope like this.

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kewlfocus
October 18, 2009 1:09 AM
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@ecwis: Yeah. That's what I thought too. But, nothin on this one.

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JulesNoctambule
October 18, 2009 12:51 AM
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We had a Mystery Toaster Oven appear at my mother's doorstep when my husband and I were getting married. Not only did we never find out who sent it, but it was a duplicate gift, too. Mom still enjoys her toaster oven.

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smash
October 18, 2009 12:58 AM
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Target.com can occasionally look things up with a tracking number, but it's notorious for not working.

On the shipping stickers outside, there may be an order number. It should start with three digits and then have a dash and some more numbers. An order number would be the easiest way.

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kewlfocus
October 18, 2009 1:06 AM
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@smash:

I checked and nothing on the FedEx sticker has any numbers like you described. Looks like I'll just have to buck up and just go asking around.

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coren
October 18, 2009 1:06 AM
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Actually, it looks like the item was on the registry, according to their letter, they just didn't manage to get it checked off (and thus, could get two...)

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kewlfocus
October 18, 2009 1:07 AM
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@coren:

Yeah, the mixer is on the registry. But, the person who sent us this one didn't go through the steps of ordering it through the registry, so, the purchase didn't get recorded to reflect that it was bought.

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sfranco
October 18, 2009 1:08 AM
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This very same thing happened to me when I had our wedding registry at Target, except our mixer was white. Try calling customer service again. It took about 5 minutes of work, but the representative I spoke to was eventually able to determine who sent the gift to us.

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investigator
October 18, 2009 1:20 AM
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The Target order number may be on the FedEx shipping label in the customer reference field. Take a look at the line just under the ship-to city - it should say \"Ref\" and have something shown after it.

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gfonner
October 18, 2009 1:30 AM
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I think enlisting close friends and family members to help would be your best bet.

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mcjake
October 18, 2009 1:43 AM
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Yeap, tell your Mom and your best friend about it. Between the two of them they may be able to track down everything that you got. I know our parents knew what every family member gave us. And our friends all talked amongst each other about what they would get.

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morganlh85
October 18, 2009 1:44 AM
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Just ask around...nobody is going to freak out about something that isn't your fault. Have a wedding website? Facebook? Just say \"Someone sent us a beautiful mixer and we'd love to thank you for it...but your name was missing from the delivery!\" blah blah blah, you'll find out who it was, end of story.

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crazylikewhoa
October 18, 2009 2:45 AM
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i would argue that if you ask who gave you this, someone would say that they gave it to you when in fact they did not.

best bet would be to contact Target again & look again for a packing slip somewheres. i am also getting married (next Saturday) and received a gift with what i thought was no card or indication who it was from, then a day later found the card & packing slip when breaking down the box.

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Oranges w/ Cheese hates what Christmas has become
October 18, 2009 2:59 AM
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I know you'd like to give proper thanks, but why look a gift horse in the mouth as they say? Take it off your registry and be thankful SOMEONE got you something you asked for.

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3 replies
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pecan 3.14159265
October 18, 2009 9:56 PM
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@Oranges w/ Cheese wants it to be winter already: But it's also important to actually give thanks. The person who sent it might not have even noticed that their name wasn't attached, and even if you are thankful - it would be nice to thank the person who sent you a wonderful gift.

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Kimaroo - 100% Pure Natural Kitteh
October 18, 2009 3:18 AM
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@Oranges w/ Cheese wants it to be winter already: Fo sho. I would love them forever even if I never knew who sent it. They got the even fancier one than I have. It will be a jewel in their kitchen.

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Kimaroo - 100% Pure Natural Kitteh
October 18, 2009 3:05 AM
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Everybody here knows that I'm a huge fan of the Kitchenaid Mixer, so I think whoever got y'all that loves you guys very much! I'm sure that the giver will come forward eventually. I too think that Target should be able to help more than anyone else.

Good luck. And I hope the part about sending registery instructions was a joke. ; )

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korybing
October 19, 2009 2:41 PM
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@Kimaroo - No Stars Upon Thars: Oh my god no kidding. We got a red KitchenAid mixer for our wedding too, and it was basically the only thing I wanted at all. I grew up with one (my mom got hers 20+ years ago and it still works beautifully), and after being used to one it's really hard to use anything else (especially if you wanna make bread!). They are the best mixers, I love them with all my heart.

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Kimaroo - 100% Pure Natural Kitteh
October 19, 2009 4:39 PM
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@korybing: I should try making bread with it.. I know I could do it, I just haven't. I figure I have plenty of time in my long, long, relationship with my Kitchenaid mixer. (Whats funny is, I'm only sort of kidding there.)


I really want to make Pumpkin Bread. That'd be awesome.

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korybing
October 19, 2009 6:09 PM
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@Kimaroo - No Stars Upon Thars: I can't even imagine a world where I would try to make bread without a kitchenaid mixer okay. The bread hook is absolutely perfect for the job.

God I sound like a KitchenAid shill. I wonder if they would pay me to talk about how much I love their friggin' mixers.

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Kimaroo - 100% Pure Natural Kitteh
October 19, 2009 6:21 PM
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@korybing: If they offer you that, let me know.. I'd sign up. lol.

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pecan 3.14159265
October 18, 2009 10:01 PM
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@Kimaroo - No Stars Upon Thars: After the fact, it's probably crass (and kewlfocus probably meant it was a joke) but when we set up our registry, we sent instructions to all of our friends and families because some of them are a little older and we didn't want them to be confused. And we also did it so we could be subtly adamant that we wanted gifts to come from the registry and nowhere else.

People didn't listen - we got the ugliest decorative bowl we've ever seen and a glass set we have used once. Sigh.

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subtlefrog
October 18, 2009 4:27 PM
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@Kimaroo - No Stars Upon Thars: My first thought when I saw this post was utter disregard for the story, and OMG it's the KitchenAid Mixer!!!!

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subtlefrog
October 18, 2009 4:27 PM
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@MostlyHarmless: Tread lightly, fat penguin. Tread lightly.

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MostlyHarmless
October 18, 2009 3:18 AM
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@Kimaroo - No Stars Upon Thars: lol. I loved how both of you went totally up in arms over that one.

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Kimaroo - 100% Pure Natural Kitteh
October 18, 2009 3:27 AM
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@MostlyHarmless: I'm very passionate about the mixer. You know how they say a little girl dreams about her wedding day? Well I did, a little. But I spent much more time dreaming about having a Kitchenaid Mixer. I wanted one since I was 8 years old. They are on every cooking show ever made.

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subtlefrog
October 18, 2009 4:31 PM
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@Kimaroo - No Stars Upon Thars: I think today may be the day, btw. We may order ours. But - Target has them for $250? Must check this out - that's cheaper than Amazon! Woohoo!

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catastrophegirl chooses not to fly
October 18, 2009 4:11 PM
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@Kimaroo - No Stars Upon Thars: i saw one the other day [not kitchenaid, can't recall whose it was] that has an induction cooker under the mixer bowl so if you use a metal bowl and turn it on you can heat and mix at the same time!
i'm not sure what you'd use it for aside from making smooth gravy though.....

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Kimaroo - 100% Pure Natural Kitteh
October 19, 2009 4:42 PM
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@catastrophegirl: Most recently I have seen some cooking shows using a Cuisinart stand mixer... that might be what you're talking about.. that thing is a monster.

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sponica
October 18, 2009 1:44 PM
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@Kimaroo - No Stars Upon Thars: i cannot wait for the day when I am a big person who can afford a kitchenaid mixer. for now it's nice i live at home and can use mom's. but when i was out on my own, i had to settle for the handheld one.

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kewlfocus
October 18, 2009 3:36 AM
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Thanks for all the help! Looking up the FedEx tracking number gave me the reference code which is the Order Number that Target needed to look it up. Mystery solved!

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1 replies
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MsAnthropy
October 18, 2009 4:10 AM
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@kewlfocus:

So it wasn't the Stand Mixer Fairy after all? Curses! I was hoping she might drop by my place sometime soon, as I have a great longing for a Kitchen Aid of my very own!

But seriously... very glad the mystery is solved, and impressed as ever with the clever Consumerist commenters! :)

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dbshaw
October 18, 2009 3:55 AM
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Nobody has mentioned the obvious and most fun answer: Hire a bounty hunter. Have the gift giver delivered to you in cuffs and slightly bruised. Years from now, you'll all laugh about it.

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BytheSea
October 18, 2009 4:26 AM
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Ask your moms to ask around. Or your gossipy aunts. I think in this situ. technology has failed and you must rely on old fashioned human interaction.

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Fuzz
October 18, 2009 6:07 AM
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When we registered at The Bay in Canada, that mixer was automatically added to our registry as a \"placeholder\" until we had added some other item. Apparently this happens for all registries, with this mixer. I find it suspicious that your mystery object is this mixer. I suspect maybe it wasn't auto-removed, and was instead sent to you?

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nstonep
October 18, 2009 2:00 PM
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This is a gross misuse of the consumerist's power. Maybe the sender WANTED to be anonymous. Then again...what does this have to do with a company screwing the pooch?

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pecan 3.14159265
October 18, 2009 10:17 PM
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@nstonep: If the person wanted to be anonymous, they could have still used the registry and placed \"Anonymous\" or \"Wishes to Remain Anonymous\" - not using the registry at all means it's difficult for anyone to figure out whether someone just forgot or wanted to be anonymous. The recipients need to know this information. Simply not giving your name isn't good enough because the recipients don't know the reason.

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Alarm Bell
October 18, 2009 2:15 PM
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Send out an email to everyone who came to the wedding and mention that there were a few gifts that got separated form the cards, and you don't know who sent them. Say to your guests that if they did not receive a personal thank-you card in the mail, please let them know, because you'd like to say t hanks to everyone.

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feckingmorons
October 18, 2009 5:45 PM
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So who sent the mixer? Relative? Friend? Coworker? Cultivate that relationship, that is a nice mixer.


If you get a mystery can opener attachment I'll gladly take it off your hands.

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Toffeecake
October 19, 2009 12:50 PM
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I had problems with Target's registry for my wedding too. Seems like the same sort of problem as the poster was having. I ended up getting multiples of the same item because once someone bought it(specifically from the registry), it still wouldn't list the item as being already given. It happened even to those that used the registry in-store. It was a pain to keep track of, and kind of embarrassing to open a second of the same item at the wedding shower.

That was still better than JC Penny though. I listed several of a nice dish set, so people could buy one of each(comes with a plate, saucer, bowl, and mug), and I would end up with a whole set to use. Each time I got the dishes in the mail, there was absolutely no name to be found with any of them. Not only that, but apparently one set got lost in the mail, and the dishes had been discontinued so I had no idea how to get it back. I was so glad when the wedding and everything was finally over, all the gifts and thank-you notes are a nightmare to keep track of!

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econobiker
October 19, 2009 2:28 PM
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Nothing better than giving a newlywed couple a small gift of cash in a card with a fake name and signature put on it by the older lady at the card store. This is especially good if one or both is really uptight about who gave what amounts or who attended a huge wedding. It makes getting thank you's completed as quickly as possible difficult too. Extra points if one or both sets of parents get dragged into the inquiry of who the \"Robert and Barbara Howser\" who gave $40 cash are.


Sit back and watch the fun ensue and then inquire around their 6 month anniversary on how thank yous for wedding gifts are proceeding. Let the couple know if you are good friends with them or let them marinate if you don't care. A five year anniversary card from the same fake folks usually amps it up slightly...

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galadriel7474
October 20, 2009 3:26 PM
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Don't just assume your friend or family member doesn't know how to use a registry. Target is NOTORIOUS for screwing up registries and then not owning up to it. Chances are your guest did exactly what they were supposed to do and Target messed it up anyway. That's why I ended up with 4 baby gyms. Stupid Target.

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