@valleyval: Better not drink and drive it though because you could get a DUI on this thing. This isn't a new product either. Saw these a couple times last year tailgating.

September 15, 2009 3:32 PM

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Megladon

1 problem I see with this. The guys that are most likely to buy it will likely need either a double wide version, or 2, and even then the motor will likely burn out quickly.

September 15, 2009 3:51 PM

5 replies

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nstonep

@Megladon: Why do people always have to go with the it's for fat as* nascar fans joke?

It's getting old. Besides, isn't this more suited for the frat boy kegger demographic, am I right bros? There's got to be a bromance brewing (pun definitely intended).

September 15, 2009 4:06 PM

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katstermonster

@nstonep: The picture accompanying the article looks more like a frat boy preppy douche than an obese Nascar fan.

Besides, I'm an underweight female and I think this is the coolest thing ever.

September 15, 2009 10:50 PM

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WraithSama

@katstermonster:
I agree! My best friend is getting married in a few months. Maybe I'll buy a pair for them to ride off on with \"Just Married\" signs on them. I seriously think they'd love that.

September 15, 2009 4:51 PM

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squinko

@katstermonster: Only fat people use coolers.

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September 15, 2009 7:35 PM

@squinko: they do use them better though.

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September 15, 2009 4:05 PM

@nstonep: Where was the nascar thing here? that was just a fat joke.

September 15, 2009 4:04 PM

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tbax929

@nstonep:
You lost me at bro. Nothing personal, but I hate, hate, hate that word.

September 15, 2009 9:58 PM

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Megladon

@tbax929: 2nd.... I also hate that word. Plus while i wasnt talking about fat a55 nascar fans (most i know arnt fat) i guess he could just slap a #3 or whatever number they drive around in on the cooler.

September 15, 2009 3:35 PM

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calquist

@Megladon: Or within the first 5 minutes of owning it will try to take it off a ramp and not only destroy it, but spill precious beer all over the ground.

September 15, 2009 3:33 PM

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osiris73

I saw one of these at the Jimmy Buffet concert in Chicago last month. It was pretty awesome. And that bugger scooted around pretty quickly too.

September 15, 2009 3:53 PM

1 replies

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Sodypop

@osiris73: I saw one in Florida, this guy was rolling along in his way to the beach. My husband,of course, high five him. Dorks!

September 15, 2009 3:38 PM

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12-Inch Idongivafuck Sandwich

I heard about these things a few years ago (and couldn't pull the trigger on a $400 cooler). I've seen a few of them on gameday with people riding on them, slightly intoxicated. Not a great idea. I'm pretty sure you could get a DUI on one (if you can on a bike, a scooter, or a lawnmower, why not a cooler?).

September 15, 2009 4:12 PM

2 replies

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unpolloloco

@12-Inch Idongivafuck Sandwich: [www.poststar.com]

September 15, 2009 9:45 PM

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Saisu Mimen

@unpolloloco:

Funniest/saddest thing I've read this week. If something as relatively crude as a fixed-gear BICYCLE is considered a \"motor vehicle\", of course a motorized cooler will qualify as well.

BTW, the guy on the article picked up a *felony* DUI for his antics. (Lamest way to become a convicted felon)

September 15, 2009 3:39 PM

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Paladin_11

This thing is a ticket magnet. And yes, you can get a DUI riding one of these things, at least in my state.

September 15, 2009 3:47 PM

2 replies

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mccordo

@Paladin_11: My thoughts exactly. I can only imagine how many tickets could be issued to people riding these things at football games, concerts and other places that feature serious drinking and/or tailgating.

September 15, 2009 3:52 PM

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NightSteel

@mccordo: As long as you're in the parking lot and not on public roads, you should be fine...

September 15, 2009 3:55 PM

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secret_curse

@NightSteel: In my home state, you can get a DUI if you have your keys in your pocket and you're drunk in a bar. If you have the car keys, you're legally \"in control\" of the vehicle. You could get a DUI if you stumbled out of a bar knowing you're too drunk to drive and try to sleep it off in your car, even if you're not in the driver's seat.

September 15, 2009 7:41 PM

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Trai_Dep

@secret_curse: Whoa, that's evil.
In CA, the trick is the key has to be in the ignition. Which is also tricky, since someone a bit under the weather might want to sit it out for a bit while listening to music in his car with no intention of driving.
But I can see the logic of it.
Your state, OTOH, makes mine seem practically Bacchanal.

September 15, 2009 10:53 PM

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WraithSama

@Trai_Dep:
+1 for the use of \"Bacchanal\". Good old Bacchus doesn't get enough love these days... only his brew.

September 15, 2009 5:11 PM

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harvey_birdman

@secret_curse: The only way you could possibly be convicted of a DUI while having your keys in your pocket and being drunk in a bar is if you just drove to the bar drunk and went inside before the cops could stop you. The situation you have described is not a crime in any of the United States of America.

September 15, 2009 7:48 PM

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secret_curse

@harvey_birdman: Nope, in the great state of Arkansas if you have your keys, you're in control. I'll one up your vague statement with a personal anectdote. I worked with a guy once that got a DUI when he was inside a friend's house. That's right, he went to a friends house and got drunk planning on crashing on the guy's house. A deputy drove by, saw his truck parked in front of the house a bit crooked, and went in to arrest him. The conviction stuck because his keys were in his pocket so he was \"in control\" of his vehicle. That said, you're right that in practice cops don't generally go into bars looking for drunks with keys in their pockets, but they will sure as hell bust a person before they can get out of a parking lot.

JerryMouse, that might be a good solution as long as you can't get to your keys. I just use the ol' DD or drink at home methods. Though there's a new scooter-taxi service here in town that sounds sweet. The scooter goes to your bar, the scooter driver tosses his scooter in your car's trunk, drives your drunk ass home in your car, then gets his scooter out and picks up the next customer. Whoever had the idea is brilliant. Get as hammered as you want and get home with your own car (safely).

September 15, 2009 9:17 PM

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JerryMouse

@secret_curse: I am assuming that if you dont know where your keys are, you cannot get to them.

So by telling the police that you dont know where your keys are and they cannot be found on your person, you should be home-free.

Im in California and this is what friends who have been in AA programs were told to do, if they could not stay where they are drinking or find a friend to drive them home (or obviously, just cannot resist drinking in the first place).

September 15, 2009 8:55 PM

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angelofstrange

@secret_curse: when i was in Houston a club there had a DD service that you could use that would drive your car home and then they'd have a taxi take them back and it was actually free! Where I live now has a program that sends you a free taxi to take you home to kee

September 15, 2009 8:44 PM

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Snarkysnake

@secret_curse:

I'm a bail bondsman. Believe me when I tell you that you CAN get a DUI on one of these things (on a public street or road). After 11 years sitting through trials of drunk drivers , I can tell you that cops can arrest you for DUI on a lawnmower, a bicycle or ,my personal favorite ,a mule.They CAN arrest you for being passed out drunk in the front seat with the keys in the ignition. They can arrest you for all of these things mentioned above. But...

You ,as a defendant , enjoy the presumption of innocence until found otherwise. They have to prove to a jury (all 12 of them) that you did indeed drive the vehicle while polluted.You only have to convince one of them that you did not. If the officer did not personally witness you driving or have sworn affadavits of same ,the jury probably won't convict. (My experience. Your mileage will vary) .

Now. The cop will most likely want you to blow into the Intoxilizer to prove what he already suspects (that you are stinking ,tight ,hoot owl drunk).You cannot be compelled to be a witness against yourself.He/she will tell you that the state will suspend your license if you do not blow. True. But if you are at that point,kiss that license goodbye anyway.It's called implied consent.

Tip- When a cop , judge or attorney is arrested in your town,watch and see if they take the test.I have never seen one consent.They know that the only chance they have of beating a DUI in court is to NOT give the cops the evidence they need to convict.

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danger the pirate

@secret_curse: so i can avoid it in the future: what state is that?

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JerryMouse

@secret_curse: This is why, once you get in your car, you throw your keys towards the trunk of under your seat or hidden in the glove compartment.

If a cop gets to your car and questions you about your keys, just tell him that you dont know where they are and that a friend put you in the car to \"sleep it off\". Also that you will worry about your keys in the morning during the phone call to your friend.

You cannot drive what you do not have the keys for. And it is not always illegal to sleep inside a vehicle that you own.

problem solved!

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zonk7ate9

@secret_curse: That's how it is here as well. It's BS because I used to sleep it off all the time after parties in my car, but I could get a DUI for being responsible...

September 15, 2009 4:08 PM

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katstermonster

@secret_curse: NO WAY. That's ridiculous. In CT, you can get a DUI if you're in your car with the keys, but not in the bar. Even the car rule gets people in trouble - I think there was a lawsuit here in CT recently from a guy who was in the midst of sleeping it off in his car. He got arrested. Lost the lawsuit, too.

Also: I think it's hysterical that you can get a DUI on a bicycle. Good stuff.

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September 15, 2009 4:07 PM

@secret_curse: your state stinks man. My house keys hang out with my car keys. I always have my house keys.

September 15, 2009 3:40 PM

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TheWillow

Hey Dawezl - why didn't you get this when you had the chance?!

September 15, 2009 3:43 PM

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bitslammer

Meh...why beat around the bush. Go all out for the motorized bar stool.

[edition.cnn.com]

September 15, 2009 9:23 PM

1 replies

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Yoko Broke Up The Beatles

@bitslammer:

Nah, go for the couch.

[www.wfmj.com]

September 15, 2009 3:49 PM

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nstonep

The only question I have is: does it have a slot to hold my fishing pole?

September 15, 2009 3:55 PM

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rpm773

If you showed up in the Middle Ages on a Cruzin' Cooler, they would crown you emperor of the realm right on the spot

Who wants a cold mead?!

September 15, 2009 4:02 PM

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ageekymom

These have been quite popular at the Woodward Dream Cruise for a few years now. I think they're brilliant!

September 15, 2009 4:05 PM

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tbax929

I don't care what any of you say. I want one. And I'm neither fat, a NASCAR fan, a frat member, or any of the other stereotypes this conjures up. It just looks fun.

September 15, 2009 4:15 PM

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Smashville

Once they figure out a way to fry bacon on that daddy, there will be no more reason for this website. The existence of a rideable bacon fryer/beer cooler would lead to perfect world harmony.

September 15, 2009 4:19 PM

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jamesdenver

September 15, 2009 4:33 PM

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CortJstr

There is a pro-wrestler who rides one of these down to the ring. While wearing a beer helmet.

Clearly we live in the best of all possible worlds.

September 15, 2009 5:21 PM

3 replies

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katia802

@CortJstr: Beer Money Inc., they're a tag team. Aside from the terrible gimmick, they tag team is great. I'm amazed I had to scroll all the way down here to find someone else who knew about them.

September 15, 2009 8:06 PM

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CortJstr

@katia802: True, but only Storm actually rides the thing. Roode is above that kind of thing.

September 15, 2009 5:58 PM

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smartmuffin

@katia802: I was just about to post \"ZOMG! its the BOOZER CRUISER!!\"

September 15, 2009 4:40 PM

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zentex

I've seen these at car shows for the last 5 years, I thought everyone knew about 'em...

September 15, 2009 4:53 PM

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CFinWV

Needs ATV tires, unless you only picnic on pavement!

September 15, 2009 5:56 PM

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ElizabethD

What's the weight limit on that thing?

I'm thinking beer bellies.

September 15, 2009 11:51 PM

1 replies

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Yoko Broke Up The Beatles

@ElizabethD:

300 lbs., depending on the model.

God, I hate myself for looking it up on the Cruzin' Cooler website. Surely I should have much better things to do.

September 15, 2009 6:40 PM

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H3ion

If you showed up on one of those during the Middle Ages, you would have been hanged, drawn and quartered. What happened to the guy who got a DUI driving a motorized bar stool. Did he switch to this?

September 15, 2009 6:50 PM

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PsiCop

Just what the world needs ... a new way to keep Joe Sixpack closer to his six pack!

September 15, 2009 7:23 PM

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MailBoss

I wonder if since this is motorized you can get a DUI on it? like that guy who was arrested for being drunk on his lawn mower... anyone know?

September 15, 2009 11:57 PM

4 replies

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Grrrrrrr, now with two buns made of bacon.

@MailBoss: It probably depends on the state, but yes, it's already been done.

[www.autoblog.com]

September 15, 2009 10:52 PM

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Yoko Broke Up The Beatles

@MailBoss:

like that guy who was arrested for being drunk on his lawn mower...

Country singer George Jones?

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September 15, 2009 7:38 PM

@MailBoss: you can get one on a horse....so yeah.

can't find the link, but I know I read it.

September 15, 2009 8:24 PM

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MailBoss

@The Porkchop Express: ha, well considering its a motored cooler, i think that'd be a concern!

September 15, 2009 7:36 PM

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Trai_Dep

Almost perfect.
If it had front-mounted laser cannons? Perfect!

September 15, 2009 10:37 PM

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azsumrg1rl

We've had these at beer promos in the Phoenix area for a few years now. We even did a drawing for one of them last football season. They don't go very fast, which is good or the drunks would turn them into motorized bumper coolers.

September 15, 2009 11:50 PM

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TechnoDestructo

Does it have a smaller door inside the lid, between the driver's legs, so that they can get a beverage out without actually having to get off of the cooler?

Also, is heat from the engine a problem?

September 16, 2009 1:05 AM

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pixiegirl1

I saw this on The Girls Next Door. They got one as a promo deal and Hef took it for a ride. It was hilarious, the staff running around after him just in case he tipped it over.