The cashier at his local Walmart evidently didn't understand the importance of his quest.
When I went to check out, my cart contained eight boxes of tampons, a bottle of fruit punch, a bottle of transmission fluid, a can of tomato juice, and hamburger meat. As the woman working the register was scanning in my items, she stared straight down and didn't make eye contact with me. I asked her to hit the "credit" button for me, and she started laughing nervously.
Well, at least it wasn't blue fluid.
The entire process starts with the trip to Walmart and incorporates an oxyacetylene torch, taste testing, and, of course, ground beef.
]]>3. childbirth
2. kidney stones
1. ovarian cysts
thank you for a great afternoon of fun.
]]>@Laura Northrup: I used to go see the Rocky Horror Show every week in high school. They were a depraved, twisted, amazing group of people. They had different "games" that they would use to initiate the virgins, and I'll never forget the game where the contestants had tampons, and cups of Clamato juice. They had to get the juice from one cup to the other, by sucking it out of the tampon and spitting it into the cup...
]]>@Rectilinear Propagation: tee hee
]]>Because, who better to test tampons than a man using next to no actual science? Exactly.
Well, it's only a bit of a stretch from the way modern tampons were invented: A man, using some science, but mostly concerned with mass production and less with the lady parts.
Though, I must admit, great invention. I'm glad there have been improvements on it, but it's a solid concept. IMO.
]]>@theblackdog: I love that bit. I like to think she was inspired by Steinem's essay from way back, "If Men Could Menstruate."
Not as funny as Cho, though the middle part is humorous. Most things that mention The Fonz get a thumbs-up from me.
]]>ROTFLMAO! That was fracking HYSTERICAL.
]]>Yup. Mine made my period go away. YEAAAH!!!! :)
]]>Hey, hey. PMS is a serious thing. It can cause exhausting mood swings, physical pain and be very tough on us women.
SO GET ME AN ICED TEA - NOWWW DAMMIT!!!!
]]>(See, now the next person will have to have actually lost a limb. GO!)
]]>Warnings for language.
]]>LOL... I'm picturing all the guys who venture into this thread with big EWWWW expressions on their faces.
]]>What Wendy describes is Truth.
My theory about why so many more guys than women faint when they have blood drawn is that they haven't been desensitized from puberty on to the sight of blood in many forms, as we gals are. (GROSS-OUT ALERT:) Wendy - don't forget the big lumpy clots! Think oysters. 8-O
]]>I've had my period for 15 years, and I'm just in shock with this article... I hardly ever think about this crap. I grab a box off the shelf and go, and try not to think about the nastiness that ensues. (Nevermind the mess of childbirth... am I right, Eyebrows??)
It made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me... not want to be a woman anymore. Two thumbs up for fun family entertainment.
]]>Are we expecting this to be a theme for future articles?
Will legions of thrifty spenders be searching for bargains in this area?
Or heaven forbid, consumer reports test results?
"We found Courtney Love's held up best in our test of ..."
@Wendy Sloan: I LOVE Instead. So comfortable! And the cute purple packaging! (I know the latter is a terrible reason for favoring a product, but I can't help myself.)
]]>@Alicia Johnson: I don't have a problem with tampon boxes, but I do actually have a problem with boxes of cereal, as well as crackers, pasta, and that ilk. WHAT are they gluing boxes with these days? I think it's actual cement, and it is VERY liberally applied.
]]>I'm coming back to read that just before lunch.
Then skipping lunch.
]]>@Adrienne Willis: This whole train of thought, and her post, made me want to find the development team behind Depo-Provera and kiss them. Oh God, cranberry jelly.
]]>I'll spare you people the horror stories, though.
]]>I regret opening this link.
]]>I love it!
]]>It's sort of funny how guys go all "O_o" when a girl discusses their period. Or how they try and say it's like getting kicked in the balls. Sorry fellas, I know that hurts like the dickens, but it's no match for cramps that feel like a rusty, serrated knife that's stabbing your insides for five days straight...
]]>If we bled monthly, we'd be taking pills to stop the monthly bleeding, and no more procreation would occur.
Also, major over share Wendy. WAY over.
]]>And the article was supposed to be more comedic than scientific. Sheesh.
]]>We Men need to ALL thank the Women for putting up with all of that, if it was a mens problem we'd all have it cut out on our 13th birthdays and the race would have died out long ago.
]]>Honestly, we don't want to.
]]>Now excuse me will I go back to my movie marathon of 300, Kill Bill, Hot Shots, and Evil Dead.
]]>Someone was bound to say it. Hah
]]>I am looking forward to the scientific version tho...
]]>I'm a sanitary pad chick myself and Instead for days when feeling frisky.
]]>He was almost on point with the transmission fluid but had he paired that with thin slices of, maybe beef liver, he'd be on point. And $1 says he's clueless about the "Surprise! I'm not done!" day and the "tapering" day(s).
Basically, absorbancy depends on an individual woman's flow - which can be erratic. And how dare he not mention TSS? That's dangerous, man!
]]>Look, buddy, I am working on two essays right now (one being on eugenics/racism and the other one being on abortion). I don't need your cruddy common sense right now. What I need is coffee and a better chair.
]]>That's work by Heidi Kenney of My Paper Crane. [mypapercrane.com]
]]>Just wondering - have you ever met a woman? Like, in person?
]]>oooh.. oh no.. OH GOSH.
I say you get a real lady to test this out, and she has to viciously (and I mean viciously) PMS on them. There is no other choice.
]]>;-)
]]>