var json_comments = new Array("
\"user-pic\"
Cool story bro
July 31, 2009 2:00 PM
Moderate | Flag for review

The Money Saving Blog might also want to suggest taking a packed lunch to the office, instead of eating out.

Reply
2 replies
\"user-pic\"
Skeetz
July 31, 2009 2:04 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@Dabby: While I wouldn't bring a packed lunch to a real restaurant I've no qualms with bringing it into any McD's or BK or food court while my friends pay to eat there.

Reply
","
\"user-pic\"
karmaghost
July 31, 2009 2:02 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

Also, if your table buys wine, after you check the cork (by rolling it to make sure it doesn't go in a straight path), roll it to the person next or across from you. Usually whoever's got the cork is expected to pay for the bottle.

Reply
6 replies
\"user-pic\"
LeChiffre
July 31, 2009 6:06 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@karmaghost: I think this is a popular role-play in Iceland.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
HungryTuna
July 31, 2009 3:14 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@karmaghost:


How does the table decide on who gets the honor of checking the cork and rolling it?


I say that the person who rolls the cork s/b the one who is obligated to pay..

Reply
\"user-pic\"
JennQPublic
July 31, 2009 5:04 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@HungryTuna: The person who selects the wine should be the first to taste it, and should end up with the cork.

I've rarely seen the wine bill presented seperately from the food bill though. It's just not common anymore.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
PinkBox
July 31, 2009 3:11 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@karmaghost: Considering I rarely drink (especially during lunch)... uhm, no.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
floraposte
July 31, 2009 3:07 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@lannister80: Really. If the cork rolls toward me, I'm really not going to associate it with an obligation to pay. Sounds like drunken Ouija.

Reply
","
\"user-pic\"
BWoodle
July 31, 2009 2:02 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

the basic problem with putting it all on your card and asking for cash is that you expect your friends to be able to figure out tax + tip on their meal in their head. Some people just can't figure it out and it becomes awkward.

I'll ask the server for a split check whenever possible. I don't think its embarrassing but maybe that's just how I was raised.

Reply
8 replies
\"user-pic\"
tekiebelu
July 31, 2009 3:50 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@BWoodle:
figuring tax + tips? There's an app for that! & I'm not the least bit embarrassed about using it OR asking for separate checks. I think it must be commonplace enough that some waiters ask a group if they want separate checks when taking orders.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
catastrophegirl chooses not to fly
July 31, 2009 6:02 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@tekiebelu: my cheap virgin mobile kyocera cell phone has that built into the calculator as an option

Reply
\"user-pic\"
mac-phisto
July 31, 2009 2:30 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@BWoodle: asking the server to split the check is embarrassing. ask for a pen instead. this isn't complex math - they teach this stuff in 3rd grade.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
gparlett
July 31, 2009 3:21 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@mac-phisto: Perhaps this is true if you all have cash, but no one I know carries cash. What's embarrassing is to have to attach a little note to each credit card, okay 7.24 on this card, 14.86 on this card, etc.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
MercuryPDX
July 31, 2009 3:54 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@gparlett: I agree. Worse is when the bill is sorted by \"courses\" and one of your friends suggests putting a legend at the bottom. \"All the 1's go on this card, the 2's on this card.\"

Reply
\"user-pic\"
floraposte
July 31, 2009 3:10 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@mac-phisto: If you're embarrassed, then obviously you don't have to do it. But there's nothing inherently embarrassing about asking for service at a place that makes its money by providing it.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
johnva
July 31, 2009 3:09 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@mac-phisto: Given that 90% of the time where I go out with a group bigger than 3-4 we end up doing this, I don't see how it's \"embarrassing\". In my circles anyway, it's now the norm, especially since many people don't carry much cash anymore. Is the embarrassment the implication that you can't do the math or something? The computers at the restaurant can do this more easily, quickly, and precisely anyway. If the embarrassment is creating extra work for the server, consider that they might actually prefer splitting it for you to having your group sit there figuring it out for 15 minutes while they wait for the table to turn over (thus increasing their take in tips).

Reply
\"user-pic\"
BWoodle
July 31, 2009 2:55 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@mac-phisto: Why is it embarrassing? I just don't see it. Even when I go out to eat with my bosses they tell the server to split the check.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
mac-phisto
July 31, 2009 4:03 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@BWoodle: maybe embarrassing isn't the word. i would say i find it more offensive. it's like this: we can share a table, a meal, a server, but we can't share a tab? that seems kind of silly, doesn't it?

not only that, but it makes the server's job unnecessarily difficult. if you split the check before the meal, they have to coordinate multiple tickets with the kitchen to ensure the meal comes out together (i've been in situations before where a split check results in half the table eating first while the other half wait b/c the tickets weren't grouped properly). if you ask for it after the meal, you're basically asking the server to rewrite the order, remember what everyone had & recalculate the entire bill.

the only time i find separate tabs acceptable (necessary even) is at the bar. a few hours of drinking tends to cloud people's memory concerning what they had to drink. but an hour-long meal? bah.

you want separate checks, that's fine. i'm not gonna jump down your throat at the table. i will probably apologize to the server though as we're walking out. maybe slip them an extra fiver to compensate.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
wardawg
July 31, 2009 5:01 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@mac-phisto: Any waiter worth his or her salt will either have written down the order in a per person manner, or will have keyed the order in per person, or both. It's easier to do it that way and most servers find that taking the time to do that for every table far outweights the time it would take to split everything after the fact for the tables that need it.


The only real problem with splitting the bill is when everyone thinks someone else picked up the tip ;)

Reply
\"user-pic\"
johnva
July 31, 2009 4:37 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@mac-phisto: All of those objections sound like problems associated with crappy manual order management systems. I don't see any reason a good POS computer couldn't just manage all of this no problem (even printing out the meal tickets on one page for the kitchen and then printing separate checks at the end). The only thing I can see being a slightly valid objection is making the server run numerous cards separately, but even that isn't that big a deal if your computer system provides an efficient workflow.

I realize not every restaurant has good or up-to-date systems, but then again that is the fault of the restaurant management, not the patrons. The servers should object to their managers if they are overworked by crappy computers rather than blaming customers.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
mac-phisto
July 31, 2009 4:55 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@johnva: i just look at it like this: when i sit down at a table, a symbiotic relationship is formed. the server (hopefully) provides me with a pleasant dining experience & in response, i tip well, try not to be too much of a nuisance & treat them kindly.

i don't really care what computer system the restaurant is using. hey, it may even be as simple as pressing a button. regardless, i consider separate checks as falling into that nuisance category. now, i can see where it may be necessary (i forgot about the whole credit card thing - many of my friends & i have a \"cash-only\" philosophy when we get together), but i try to avoid being a nuisance as much as possible.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
BWoodle
July 31, 2009 5:33 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@mac-phisto: I would say you're being overly cautious but to each their own. My wife served tables for a while and she's never considered it a problem to split checks.

When I'm with friends it is always a split check (with my wife and I paired) - The servers assume this usually without being asked.

When I'm on a double or triple date we don't do separate checks but we tell the server to split the bill right down the middle.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
t0ph
August 1, 2009 7:55 AM
Moderate |Flag for review

@BWoodle: @mac-phisto: Splitting the check is no big deal, and as a waiter, that doesn't bother me.

However...When I go out to eat with friends, we all spilt the bill equally. No matter what you drink or eat, we are all paying for a night out to enjoy ourselves and the pleasure of each others company. I personally think it is tacky to sit there and figure out who ate what - and this is not a \"server thing\", it is more like a personal thing. When I am serving and people do that, whatever - to each his own - bit it is still tacky, at least where I am from. Different customs all over I suppose.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
Garbanzo
August 2, 2009 7:47 AM
Moderate |Flag for review

@t0ph: I would pretty much never go out to eat with groups if the bill were split evenly. As someone who doesn't drink alcohol or eat much meat I regularly spend much less at restauarants than others. There have been situations where I order a $12 vegetarian dish or even just a $7 appetizer as my meal while a tablemate buys a $28 steak or lobster washed down by a beer or two at $5 a pop, followed by a $6 dessert. I feel like it's a matter of basic fairness for people to pay for what they order.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
t0ph
August 1, 2009 8:20 AM
Moderate |Flag for review

@t0ph: By the by, if I am drinking heavily or ordering substantially more expensive menu items then someone else, I just throw in my fair share, which is obviously greater than the others. But otherwise, we usually split evenly.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
Wombatish
July 31, 2009 5:24 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@mac-phisto: Anywhere with a computer ordering system keeps the ticket by table until it's time to pay and then splits the check in any number of ways (evenly by number of diners, by items consumed with an option to split any one item any number of ways, etc).

It's really easy to do. Splitting a check is literally no more hassle than taking a credit card payment for any server who works with a computer, especially if you make a really simple and concise split, rather than \"Joe bob wants to pay 34.5% of the tab, except for dessert, which he'll pay 14.7% of, and Mary will get the rest\" or something strange.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
itsnotbecca
July 31, 2009 5:17 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@mac-phisto:
I've been a server for years. I've had to do the hand written thing, and I've also worked with several computer systems.

I'd rather split the bill up for you than have the \"I need change for these 40 bucks that's already in small bills, and please put $7.50 on this card, and $12.99 on this card, and $0.01 on this one so we can leave you a tip, and please hurry up with it because it took us 15 minutes to figure this out and now we're late.\"

Every time.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
AshleyKeen
July 31, 2009 4:35 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@mac-phisto: Wow Mac-phisto, where do you eat out at?


Clearly I am not ettiquette-worthy to eat there.


I'd say probably 90% of the time I eat out it's a hen-fest. A good server will know in advance that we'll all be paying for our own meals and will bill accordingly. If I will be paying for one of my friends, I let him/her know in advance so the server will know to put our tabs together. I find that if you warn the server in advance that your tabs will be separate, it makes their life easier in the long run (no splitting the bill out at the end of the meal) and occasionally will improve your quality of service.


Marginally related:


Now, if I'm dining out with a fellow I'm interested in, I'll give that moment of hesitation where I wait for him to inform the waiter whether our checks will be combined or seperate. An offer to pay for my meal almost always guarantees date number 2 (on which the topic of who pays becomes a nonissue). If I'm with a fellow I have little interest in, I inform the waiter that we'll be on separate checks immediately -- or I offer to pay for his meal (the first communicates - 'I'd like you to provide for me, if you're willing', the middle 'we're friends only' and the latter 'you're like my little brother').

Reply
\"user-pic\"
JRock
July 31, 2009 2:23 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@BWoodle: Then the second big problem (well, it was for me anyway, until I stopped taking cash for putting everything on my card) is that I'm a lot more prone to spending that cash on other things quickly, as my brain makes me feel like it's \"found money\", even though it isn't. I got into a lot of debt in college with that mentality :(

Reply
","","
\"user-pic\"
tbax929
July 31, 2009 2:05 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

Is asking the server for separate checks such an offense? I have a friend who hates when I do that, she wants to split the check in half. That would be fine except she usually drinks wine with dinner, and I drink iced tea.

Reply
13 replies
\"user-pic\"
wheresmymind
July 31, 2009 4:40 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@tbax929: I was always sort of shy about asking for separate checks until one day we sheepishly asked our harried server if she wouldn't mind splitting up our bill AFTER ordering (lots of people, no cash, lots of credit cards). We said lots of stuff along the lines of \"if it's too much trouble, don't worry about it,\" and \"we're sorry for being such a pain\" until the waitress cut us off with this line: \"I'm not f*cking stupid, I've split a check before. It'll take 30 seconds, so don't worry about it.\"
Although experience tells me that not all servers share her attitude on the matter.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
STG681
July 31, 2009 3:37 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@tbax929: Being embarrassed to ask for a split check may be generational, because I haven't thought of the possibility that it could be. Being in my late 20s, I rarely carry cash and like others have said, most restaurants have computers to deal with this everyday situation (and have for most of my adult life).

Not only do I consider managing orders to be part of the restaurant/waiters job, but I would be surprised if waiters didn't see higher tips from more payers.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
floraposte
July 31, 2009 3:15 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@tbax929: I think your friend's being a bit rude. If somebody doesn't want to pay according to what she spent (and you don't have to do separate checks to do that, either, since the math is readily available), then she needs to just pick up the whole check and avoid the issue that way.

Admittedly, this is a bit of a pet peeve of mine, but it's so false--\"Oh, I hate all that fiddling about with money. But I don't hate it enough just to pick up the check.\"

Reply
\"user-pic\"
tbax929
July 31, 2009 8:59 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@floraposte:
You're right. It's always the ones who spend the most who want to just split everything. I try not to appear cheap, but there's a reason I don't order alcohol at restaurants. It's overpriced.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
friendlynerd
July 31, 2009 3:09 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@tbax929:
Funny how it's always the appetizer-and-two-drinks person who wants to split it down the middle.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
Eyebrows McGee (now with more baby!)
July 31, 2009 2:55 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@tbax929: It used to be an imposition because it required a lot of extra work by the server, but every restaurant computer system in the universe splits them automatically now. These days it's only an imposition if you have a party of 20 and every last person is paying by CC.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
zarex42
July 31, 2009 2:25 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@tbax929: It's a real pain in the neck for the server, and should be avoided.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
tbax929
July 31, 2009 8:57 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@zarex42:
I always thought as long as I told the server BEFORE we ordered it was no big deal. I'd hate to think I'm upsetting servers all over my city by asking for separate checks!

Reply
\"user-pic\"
Wombatish
July 31, 2009 5:27 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@zarex42: Maybe if you're lazy or your owner either has a small, non-computerized restaurant.

Even without computers, though, we always had a calculator floating around by the register for a reason. It's not that hard, and they're your paying customers.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
Michael Belisle
July 31, 2009 7:17 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@Wombatish: It's not that hard, and they're your paying customers.

Exactly. I was a server with a goofy system that couldn't split checks*. I didn't mind when people asked me to split the check and have no problem with asking servers to split checks for me. Ask them to split the check, give them an extra buck on your portion if you're nice. Problem solved.

* It could do separate checks when the order was initially entered, but could not split checks. Please always start the order by saying you want separate checks, instead of asking at the end. At that point, the math has been probably already been done and you're making your server do the math again, differently.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
danger the pirate
July 31, 2009 3:42 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@zarex42: you keep saying this same shit. i know literally a full restaurant of servers and bartenders and every one of them will split the check. its easy. they like doing anything that gets your money into their pockets.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
gparlett
July 31, 2009 3:23 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@zarex42: That is the server's job. I'm sure it's also a pain the neck to give my order to the kitchen and to carry food to my table.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
johnva
July 31, 2009 2:57 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@zarex42: Only for places that have antiquated POS systems.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
jeffbone
July 31, 2009 2:37 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@zarex42: I'm curious as to why this is the case anymore. Most restaurants have computer-based order entry systems now; I've even seen a couple of these systems which provide a subtotal for each person's order by appetizer/entree/drink to make splitting easier. Surely taking the next step to split the order and provide separate pieces of paper can't be difficult for such a system.

I agree, though, in an establishment where the server has to do everything by hand, splitting can be a PITA.

Reply
","
\"user-pic\"
edguitar
July 31, 2009 2:05 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

I have to confess I have become the guy who asks for separate checks. I grew tired of people actually sating I only order a salad is 6.99 so they give you just 6.99 they forget to include tip and taxes. Also the whole divde the check into 9 different credit cards I truly feel bad for the waiter/waitress when that happens. I love college towns when the first thing the staff asks is \"how are you guys going to pay? separate or all together?\"

Reply
1 replies
\"user-pic\"
Wombatish
July 31, 2009 5:30 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@edguitar: Nine different credit cards is no different than nine piles of change to bring back to people.

It's not a huge hassle. Really. Ask for it. If your server refuses and doesn't have a good reason (the place has no computers and they're super busy, something) they're either just silly or have some strong personal aversion to split checks.

Yes it does take a little more time and effort. But so does waiting on 4 people versus 2 people. In the end, neither scenario is -that- much more effort, and you usually make out with more money from the 'grueling' one.

(When people have their own check they tip better :D)

Reply
","
\"user-pic\"
jenjen
July 31, 2009 2:06 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

So after a few rounds of conniving my friends to pay for my meals, does that blog offer tips on how to get new friends?

Reply
1 replies
\"user-pic\"
mac-phisto
July 31, 2009 2:38 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@jenjen: i think tip #7 covers that. it's a little vague in what exactly to do, but it seems that if you're a woman, they advocate becoming a whore.

Reply
","
\"user-pic\"
deedub113
July 31, 2009 2:10 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

I don't think it's embarrassing at all to ask for separate checks. I'm often the only one of my group of friends to bring it up, but there is no shame whatsoever. I like to get it out of the way ASAP so everyone is on the same page. That way no one has to worry or have it hanging out there about what's going to happen at the end of the meal.

Reply
","
\"user-pic\"
Smashville
July 31, 2009 2:10 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

Here's how I never have to pay my check...


Become a gigolo.

Reply
","
\"user-pic\"
madanthony
July 31, 2009 2:11 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

Women will find this to be particularly true since the men that date them often feel obligated to pick up the bill. You should be polite and offer to pay your part but if they pull the whole, \"no, don't worry about it\" then it's really their problem and you really shouldn't worry about it.

As a guy, I don't have a problem picking up the check, especially on the first date. But having this quote headlined under \"befriend people who pay\" almost makes it sound like women should accept dates just to get a free meal.

Reply
5 replies
\"user-pic\"
Eyebrows McGee (now with more baby!)
July 31, 2009 2:51 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@madanthony: That was my theory in college!

(Well, and that anyone who had the gumption to ask at least deserved a date.)

Reply
\"user-pic\"
Trai_Dep
July 31, 2009 4:30 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@Eyebrows McGee (now with more baby!): Yeah, but then the \"cheap date\" turns into several, then a proposal, then a wedding, then a shared mortgage, then an additional Lil' Eyebrowed one in swaddling clothes.
Men: beware the \"cheap date\".

Reply
\"user-pic\"
sponica
July 31, 2009 3:08 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@Eyebrows McGee (now with more baby!): but one of my scuzzier male friends was under the assumption that it was a quid pro quo, he pays for dinner so he can get \"dessert\"

of course, i met my significant other at an alumni drink up...so lord only knows what social rules we broke that night

Reply
\"user-pic\"
madanthony
July 31, 2009 5:35 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@sponica:

I don't know many women who think like that. If I did, I'd be buying them dinner :)

Reply
\"user-pic\"
Eyebrows McGee (now with more baby!)
July 31, 2009 4:06 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@sponica: I don't think I knew very many guys like that. Or if I did, they weren't going to be asking ME on dates. :)

Reply
\"user-pic\"
LeChiffre
July 31, 2009 6:04 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@megusi: We're getting smarter;;;watch out! lol.

Reply
","
\"user-pic\"
Xay
July 31, 2009 2:14 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

Umm, what is the problem with asking for separate checks? Whenever I have lunch with my coworkers, someone asks for separate checks and no one sees it as rude or embarassing.

Reply
8 replies
\"user-pic\"
zarex42
July 31, 2009 2:26 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@xay: It's a pain for the server. Just pass the check around, and have people add $.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
Xay
July 31, 2009 7:30 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@zarex42: How so? If you tell the server in advance that you are splitting the check, it shouldn't be an issue. Most of the restaurants that I have been to organize the bill by seat number anyway.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
humphrmi
July 31, 2009 5:38 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@zarex42: No thanks, I'll just ask for separate checks.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
sponica
July 31, 2009 3:10 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@zarex42: i've had servers offer to split the check after they've returned to us fumbling with some mix of cash and credit cards...the fact is when NOBODY has cash, or everyone only has 20s, splitting the check becomes easier.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
mizike
July 31, 2009 3:21 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@sponica: That's the real problem right there, nobody carries cash anymore. Trying to split a cheque at a restaurant becomes quite comical when you work out everyone's share, then they all pull out debit cards and have to have the cheque split anyway so they can pay. As one of the only people in North America that still carries a bit of cash on their person, I just put in my share and let everyone else deal with harrassing the server or going to bank machines and breaking $20's so one person doesn't have to eat the whole cheque.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
burnedout
July 31, 2009 2:19 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@xay: Yeah, it's never an issue with co-workers and lunch. Where it gets awkward is with good friends at dinner...

Reply
\"user-pic\"
mimbypims
July 31, 2009 4:23 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@burnedout: If the friends are indeed good, they shouldn't bat an eyelash about people wanting to be careful with their money. If it's so hard to split checks with \"good\" friends, consider doing pot-lucks at one of the friends' houses. Saves money and everyone is required to contribute!

Reply
\"user-pic\"
madanthony
July 31, 2009 2:48 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@burnedout:

If you can't figure out how to fairly split a check, they aren't that good of friends.

If there are a bunch of us who go out regularly, sometimes the easiest thing to do is just take turns paying the check - it's fair and easier than splitting it each time.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
JustinSane07
July 31, 2009 2:30 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@Wargazm: Here here. Fuck 'em if they don't want to pay for what they bought.

Reply
","","
\"user-pic\"
Smashville
July 31, 2009 2:22 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

Or...you could do what every normal person does and ask for separate checks...


I only pay for someone else's meal if I'm trying to see her naked...

Reply
4 replies
\"user-pic\"
Trai_Dep
July 31, 2009 4:32 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@Smashville: Please tell me you never take a kid to a restaurant...

Reply
\"user-pic\"
Smashville
July 31, 2009 6:25 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@Trai_Dep: I should add that this policy doesn't apply to blood relatives and that I don't really like kids, so I'm not going to pay money to feed them.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
MercuryPDX
July 31, 2009 3:57 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@Smashville: Times are tough. I make seeing them naked beforehand a precondition, otherwise it's dutch. ;)

Reply
\"user-pic\"
floraposte
July 31, 2009 3:38 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@Smashville: \"No, you cannot go to McDonald's with Uncle Smash. Stop asking.\"

Reply
","
\"user-pic\"
josephbloseph
July 31, 2009 2:22 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

I was once party to the nightmare of a \"dinner\" of half-priced happy hour appetizers. Most of the people involved were nursing students, with myself and a friend being engineers. When it came time to settle the check, the check came pre-split, likely owing to the fact that the guests arrived in waves, and we had these appetizers and drinks over the course of a few hours, overlapping a server shift change. Because of this, the check wasn't split in any sensible fashion, so each check had items for multiple people, and most people had items on more than one check. My engineer friend and I figured out how much we owed, and tossed it on one of the smaller checks, which contained most of our orders.
The problem was that after that check was settled someone who had ordered one of the same items as I had claimed that his order was the one that appeared on the smaller check that was settled first, and refused to cover his share on one of the other checks.
Yeah, lots of people aren't going to volunteer to pay their fair share.

Reply
4 replies
\"user-pic\"
Eyebrows McGee (now with more baby!)
July 31, 2009 4:11 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@josephbloseph: I was at a thing like that, an association dinner/drinks/thingie and the waitress (who was an absolute bitch) flatly refused to provide individual checks but instead brought out random checks at random intervals with random food on them. Most people were trying to pay as they left, leaving enough for what they thought their dinner cost, but I'm sure some people underpaid, and SOME people left without paying at all. (I had a $7.99 burger and left a $20 bill -- she wasn't making change either, and the place was cash-only -- which was all the money I'd brought knowing I didn't intend to spend more than $10.)

I heard at the end of the night the place tried to hold the last few people there on nearly $100 of unpaid food that earlier leavers had skipped out on. It was a nightmare. I've never gone back.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
oneandone
July 31, 2009 3:32 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@josephbloseph: I've been to a resturaunt known for happy hour specials that had an interesting system for dealing with that: everyone who walked in got a magnetic card, and every time they ordered something, the bartender or server took their card and swiped it on a handheld device that they punched order codes into. As each person left, they handed their card to the hostess at the front, she swiped it, and told them the amount they owed. They also managed to do it without making the place feel like a cafeteria. It was actually an extremely busy trattoria-style place.


That system eliminates tips, but maybe they build it into the price of food/drinks. Or maybe people tip cash at the bar. I was very late to meet up with everyone and didn't end up getting anything, but the system definitely made an impression on me.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
johnva
July 31, 2009 3:01 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@josephbloseph: Simple: don't go to dinner with people who try to stiff you on a restaurant bill. I'd MUCH rather overpay a little than do that to one of my friends.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
TheWillow
July 31, 2009 7:12 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@johnva: This. Seriously, if one of my friends was a huge dick about a dinner bill, we wouldn't be going out to eat together anymore. When we go out, people pay for the food they eat, and if it's only a dollar off or something we just split it evenly.

Of course, my friends and I pick up food, concert tickets, hotels, etc, for each other constantly, and we just all figure we owe each other a million bucks by now so who cares.

Reply
","
\"user-pic\"
weave
July 31, 2009 2:23 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

Here's how I got stuck recently. Near the end of the meal the couple I was having dinner with excused themselves to go outside to have a smoke. The check came, they didn't return, so I paid, stepped outside thinking maybe I'd be asked what they owed, met them, they thanked me for dinner.

Reply
3 replies
\"user-pic\"
LeChiffre
July 31, 2009 6:01 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@weave: I commented on this before reading your post. I've been there, done that. I was commenting below on how some folks \"leave for the bathroom\" or \"leave for a phone call\", etc. Sorry to hear that it happened but I learned my lesson long ago. No more for homey.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
pecan 3.14159265
July 31, 2009 2:40 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@weave: Well, they're just very bad friends.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
Michael Belisle
July 31, 2009 7:22 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@pecan 3.14159265: Well, they're just very bad friends people.

Fixed.

Reply
","","
\"user-pic\"
Wargazm
July 31, 2009 2:25 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

.............

WHAT?!

What the hell is wrong with separate checks? or splitting it between everyone?

Is this seriously a problem for people? Man, what am I doing wrong in my life where all my friends and I pay for what we eat?

Reply
2 replies
\"user-pic\"
Quill2006
August 1, 2009 6:43 AM
Moderate |Flag for review

@Wargazm: Yeah. My friends and I have never had a problem with splitting checks, other than that sometimes people pay MORE than what they owe and are semi-reluctant to take back the extra until someone with better math skills convinces them they've overpaid.

Is this related to age? My friends and I are in our 20s, and we all assume we're going to pay for what we ordered and approximately divide up tax and tip. We don't even suggest dividing evenly unless everyone has the same thing, because we know that people decide to order things based partially on what they can afford. People rarely pick up the whole tab, except when taking a friend out for their birthday or something similar. Recently, people have pitched in occasionally for the person who is unemployed, but that isn't expected.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
esc27
August 2, 2009 3:52 AM
Moderate |Flag for review

@Quill2006: Same. Mid 20's always split the check, almost never a problem, and when it is, it is usually due to a \"new\" server who was already having trouble...

Reply
","","","
\"user-pic\"
mac-phisto
July 31, 2009 2:27 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

when i go out to lunch, i generally bring $30 cash (or $50 if i expect to have a couple drinks). i'll usually double it for dinner/cocktails. that's usually plenty for my meal & a generous tip. it also helps me from getting screwed into paying for someone else's meal.

i don't know if i'd call these suggestions \"tips\" - they're more like \"tricks\". transfer money into someone else's acct. thru paypal? srsly? that seems very tacky. it's like the techie version of \"i'll gladly pay you tuesday for a hamburger today\".

Reply
","
\"user-pic\"
zarex42
July 31, 2009 2:28 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

Separate checks are a big pain for the server, and they should be avoided. Lots of places will refuse to do this, and it's not really fair to them.

Just pass the check folder around, and have people put in their share. Someone counts it at the end, makes sure there's enough, and calls out on the group in case there's a few bucks short.

I really don't see what the big deal is. If your friends are trying to dodge a couple of bucks, you need to get new friends.

Reply
15 replies
\"user-pic\"
LeChiffre
July 31, 2009 6:00 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@zarex42: They're not always \"direct\" friends. They could be friends of friends, or associates from other work, etc.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
zlionsfan
July 31, 2009 5:22 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@NatalieErin: totally agree. I can't remember the last place I went that refused to split a check ... and I've been to several that had no trouble splitting checks any way we needed it (these two are together, those two, single, single, single, and those three). In fact, I'd say it's more common that the servers at the places I go are willing to go to more trouble than we're willing to press on them.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
NatalieErin
July 31, 2009 4:20 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@zarex42: Where in the world do you eat that refuses to split a check? I've been out to a lot of restaurants, of varying levels of price, classiness, type of food, service system (i.e. buffet vs table service) and so on and so on. I've never been to a restaurant that won't split a check.


You've made this same claim in a bunch of threads, but it sounds like you either haven't been out to eat in 20 years or are just talking out of your ass.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
mac-phisto
July 31, 2009 4:25 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@NatalieErin: i don't think i've ever been to a restaurant that won't split a check, but a few of the more classy joints around here charge a service fee to do so (usually $5-10 added to each bill).

Reply
\"user-pic\"
Aladdyn
July 31, 2009 5:38 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@zarex42: @mac-phisto: If they are charging you a service to make your experience more pleasant I wouldnt call them classy. Ultimatley it come down to that. Customers asking to have a pleasant experience and not have to worry about the check. Yes I can do math on paper, in my head and with a calculator. I can also stay home and cook my own food, sometimes better than what I get at the restaurant, the point is I chose to go out and I expect a relaxing experience in addition to my meal. Figuring out everyones share of the bill is not relaxing.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
mac-phisto
July 31, 2009 5:50 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@Aladdyn: well, i wouldn't call splitting the bill classy, but then i guess it's a different strokes thing, huh?

Reply
\"user-pic\"
Aladdyn
July 31, 2009 11:22 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@mac-phisto: I never claimed it was a classy or non-classy thing. But anyway I understand what you are saying (at least I think it was you a few comments back) about not wanting to be a burden on the wait staff. I would be embarrassed to be out with other people who were making all sorts of demands and complaining about minor things. All I want from a meal out is a polite server, to get what I ordered, and receive the check in a timely manner.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
johnva
July 31, 2009 4:39 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@mac-phisto: I've NEVER seen a restaurant add a \"service fee\" for that. Maybe it's just a cultural thing wherever you are?

Reply
\"user-pic\"
richcreamerybutter
July 31, 2009 4:16 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@zarex42: separate checks aren't as much of an issue as 6 people wanting to split the entire check on 6 separate credit cards!

Reply
\"user-pic\"
gparlett
July 31, 2009 3:34 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@zarex42: How is it more of a pain for the server to run separate checks than to have to run back and forth to the register breaking 20 and 50s? How is it more of a pain than running 4 different credit cards for a meal? I agree that waiting until the server has brought the check and then asking them to split it is a jerk move, but if you ask when you put your order in it shouldn't be a problem. I've only run into a few restaurants that have issues splitting the check and I don't go back to those places.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
floraposte
July 31, 2009 3:20 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@zarex42: It's perfectly fair to the restaurant. Which presumably is why it's common for restaurants to perform this service. I get they may prefer not to, but it's a reasonable request, presumably made politely, and there's no reason for customers to hesitate to make it.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
johnva
July 31, 2009 3:28 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@floraposte: Not to mention that their business would likely drop a lot if they started refusing to split checks, now that so many people are plastic-only.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
sponica
July 31, 2009 3:14 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@zarex42: the problem comes when someone invariably doesn't have cash...or there's only 20s. so the choice is bug someone to break the large bills or have the checks split. Splitting the check is easier at the bar, when each seat has its own number.
The only time I split a check in recent memory was when my drinking companion and I were out with an alcoholic. We knew if it was one bill he wouldn't pay his fair share (we only had a couple beers, he was downing long islands like they were water.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
johnva
July 31, 2009 3:29 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@sponica: Many restaurants track orders by the seat at the tables, too.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
mizike
July 31, 2009 3:07 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@zarex42: If you've got a couple of cheapskates in the group, they'll almost certainly take advantage of this and leave exactly $9.99 (or whatever) conveniently forgetting about the tax and tip. Then when you call out saying you're short, someone else will have to make up the difference as they sure as hell won't volunteer unless you publically shame them.


I much prefer separate bills. I always tip well and if it's a place I eat at often, I'll always leave at least 20%. If other people are comfortable leaving a 0-5% tip, thats on them, I'm not going to subsidize their shitty tipping, nor am I going to be part of a party that leaves a bad tip. With separate bills no one can hide in the group and \"forget\" they had that second drink.


That being said, if you're with a group of friends who you know won't pull any bullshit, then yeah, save the server the inconvenience and just work it out amongst yourselves.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
mac-phisto
July 31, 2009 4:18 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@mizike: \"If other people are comfortable leaving a 0-5% tip, thats on them...\"

it's still going to reflect on you. separate checks make skipping out on the tip easier - do you expect the server to realize you were the generous one & not the cheapskate? if you're the only one that leaves a tip at a table of 4, it's going to make you all look cheap.

i address the tipping as part of the payment process. we generally agree on an amount ~20-25%. no big deal.

i guess i'm just lucky that i have a group of friends with similar dining etiquette as me...

Reply
\"user-pic\"
BWoodle
July 31, 2009 3:07 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@zarex42: Its not a big deal on any modern system. They put the orders in per seat, at the end of the meal they can push the \"separate checks\" button or the \"single check\" button.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
breese524
July 31, 2009 3:03 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@zarex42:
In the city I live, it is common practice to split checks. Most servers expect it and plan accordingly. It is appropriate for you to let the server know at the beginning of service you want split checks.


If the server took the order properly, the split shouldn't be a problem. Most places have these 21st century inventions call computers that believe it or not, can split a check.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
pecan 3.14159265
July 31, 2009 2:41 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@zarex42: I don't see how. I mean, if there are four of you and you're in couples, you just have to remember who ordered what. If you start ordering wine and dessert and there are more than four of you, it should be up to the restaurant goer to understand that the splitting might get complicated, and to settle ahead of time who will pay for the wine, who covers the dessert, etc.

Reply
","","","
\"user-pic\"
mike
July 31, 2009 2:31 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

A little off-topic but you can play credit card roulet. This is where everyone chips in a credit card and you put them all in a hat. Then have the waiter/waitress pick a credit card. It all goes on that friends card. So you either pay all or none.


This game should only be played with good friends.

Reply
4 replies
\"user-pic\"
LeChiffre
July 31, 2009 5:59 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@mike: Well I stopped playing CC roulet years ago. This is how the game really plays out. The gal/guy with the cc ALWAYS gets screwed. Why? In a big group, there will always be the \"cheapskate\" that suddenly \"goes to the bathroom\" or suddenly has \"that phone call\" and needs to leave the table. S/he is betting on the big crowd NOT paying attention to them leaving. Their absence be long enough for the cash to be thrown into the \"hat\" for the cc bill. And of course, let's not forget those that \"forget\" to add for the tip. This is the person(s) that always pisses me off. Then there is the single/couple that throws in a $20 for a $25.00 food bill (no tip also). The cc guy/gal counts the cash and, voila! There is only $80.00 in cash but the bill is for $95.00. But by this time, the party's over, everyone's leaving, and YOU'RE stuck with the difference including the tip. AND most often you end up spending the cash instead of paying the cc bill when it comes in the next month. Now days, homey don't play that game no more. I bring cash and pay my own bill.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
Zerkaboid
July 31, 2009 6:42 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@LeChiffre: That's not really the same game you described above, or what I've played. Everyone throws a credit/debit card into a hat and you pick one: they pay (in our variation we added a little suspense by drawing out every card one by one until the last one left paid). It doesn't really work if people need to pay with cash so you'd need to be clear up front about how you plan to pay.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
Zerkaboid
July 31, 2009 6:51 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

Not sure why I said \"not the same game YOU described\", oops. But you catch my drift

Reply
\"user-pic\"
Zerkaboid
July 31, 2009 4:04 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@weave: @mike: Loved playing this in college when we'd go out to a bar.

Reply
","
\"user-pic\"
Rachacha
July 31, 2009 2:31 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

Nothing is wrong with seperate checks, just be sure to tell the server when you are odering so that when it gets entered into the computer thay can process it accordingly, rather than having to re-enter the information into the computer.

Reply
3 replies
\"user-pic\"
NatalieErin
July 31, 2009 4:25 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@Rachacha: The last time I used a restaurant computer was in 2001, and even then it was a kind of old system. Each check had a \"split\" button that let you transfer items to the new check. No re-entering required.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
johnva
July 31, 2009 2:58 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@Rachacha: They really shouldn't be designed so that you have to \"re-enter\" anything just due to a routine change like that.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
richcreamerybutter
July 31, 2009 4:21 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@johnva: They are, or at the very least it would require a series of entries complicated enough to prevent the server's allotted attention to other parties and possibly reducing the shift's tips.

Why is it such an issue to ask for separate checks beforehand?

Reply
\"user-pic\"
johnva
July 31, 2009 4:41 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@richcreamerybutter: I don't really think it's an \"issue\", but it shouldn't be one because it's really poor workflow design to make a restaurant computer that isn't flexible enough to deal with these kinds of changed circumstances.

Reply
","","","","","","","
\"user-pic\"
SteveBMD
July 31, 2009 2:50 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

I find this discussion eerily similar to the discussion about who pays for health care in America.

Reply
","","","
\"user-pic\"
12-Inch Idongivafuck Sandwich
July 31, 2009 2:52 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

Uhhhh...maybe it's a regional thing, but when I was living in Gainesville, FL and now Atlanta, GA, we always ask for separate checks (unless we are just having drinks and the waitress needs a credit card to start a tab). Half the time, the wait staff will ask ahead of time if we want separate checks. No one ever has a problem with it, and I think it works out better for the server. We all tip ~20% on our individual tabs. It is better than everyone throwing in money and the waiter getting shorted (or someone overpaying).

It also is significantly quicker for the wait staff to split it on the computer than for a group of people to pass the check around and do the math manually.

With some friends, we do institute the \"floating $20\" (typically when just going to the bar with a buddy for dinner and a few drinks). If the tab is reasonably low (under $20pp), one of us will just pick it up, knowing that the other person will pick it up next time.

Reply
2 replies
\"user-pic\"
gparlett
July 31, 2009 3:37 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@12-Inch Idongivafuck Sandwich: Dallas Texas is also a huge friend of the split check. Every restaurant does it and it's how my friends and I eat out all the time.

I was in Boston a few years ago and they categorically refused to split checks. They looked at us like we were the devil, but they also never came back with drink refills and I quickly realized why my friends in Dallas eat out two or three times a week and the people I know in Boston eat out once a month.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
tbax929
July 31, 2009 9:03 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@gparlett:
I've never had a problem splitting a check in Boston.


I don't think this is a regional thing at all. I've lived all over the country and have never been denied when I requested separate checks.

Reply
","
\"user-pic\"
wcnghj
July 31, 2009 2:53 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

What exactly is this cash stuff? I can(and always do) get 5 ThankYou points/dollar on dining.

If I go out to eat, I always ask for a seperate check.

Reply
","","","
\"user-pic\"
mrgenius
July 31, 2009 2:55 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

I no longer eat with people who insist on separate checks, it's just too much trouble for the server. I I just figure everything evens out after a while. And really, say you ALWAYS pay $5 more at dinner with your friends... is it really that big of a deal (and if so, ought you not consider not going out to dinner)?

Reply
3 replies
\"user-pic\"
floraposte
July 31, 2009 3:27 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@mrgenius: The last time I was in a situation where splitting things evenly was suggested, it would have added $30 to my $40 bill. Ouch. And as mac-phisto points out upthread, it's possible to pay one's share without getting separate checks, too.

Obviously, different circles of friends have different spending patterns and expectations. But I think that if I'm not going to pick up your check, it's pretty unfair of me to insist that you pay for anything other than what you ordered.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
mrgenius
July 31, 2009 4:21 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@floraposte: I think that's totally appropriate if it's going to be a $40 difference, or say if one person doesn't drink or what have you. I pretty much don't have friends that don't drink, but I get the point.


I was more thinking about the line of reasoning that \"well so and so ordered the steak and I had the pasta, so I demand to pay $5 less\". I am not saying it's not \"fair\" to insist, just annoying. I don't eat meat, so typically I end up subsidizing a bit extra, but it's just not a big deal among friends. One day might have an extra cocktail, and things sort of revert to the mean.


Maybe it's unfair for me to insist, but in a group of six or more, if you are one of those people who know you won't want to split things evenly, then just bring cash enough to cover your part and throw in. I don't have a beef with sharing the check on different cards, but the whole itemized receipt thing seems overkill. Where I live, most places will not split checks for parties over 5.


And if $5 is really affecting your bottom line, eating out is probably not the wisest choice.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
mizike
July 31, 2009 3:40 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@floraposte: Yeah, \"just splitting it\" assumes that everyone's finances are roughly the same. Some people can afford to eat at nice restaurants, but can't afford the most expensive thing on the menu and 4 drinks to go along with it. If someone goes to a restaurant with their friends and deliberately tries to keep their bill down, it's really, really, insensitive to ask for an even split at the end of the night. This is especially prevalent right around when people graduate from university as some people in your group will likely be making alot more than others who may still be in university or were unable to land as high paying a job.


Come to think of it, wasn't there a Friends episode based exactly on this situation?

Reply
\"user-pic\"
mrgenius
July 31, 2009 4:27 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@mizike: I could go for 4 drinks right now!

Reply
\"user-pic\"
floraposte
July 31, 2009 3:52 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@mizike: Yup. I was thinking of that. Yes, evenly splitting checks requires the less financially favored to pay disproportionately to hang with their friends, which I think is kind of a sucky thing to do to friends.

I do think it's essentially that people feel embarrassed to deal openly with money among their friends, and I get that. But I think fairness is a more important consideration than getting the money thing over fast; if you're really that determined to get the money thing over fast, then just pay the check yourself.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
mrgenius
July 31, 2009 4:27 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@floraposte: I don't really have a huge problem with people paying different amounts, I was more referring to insisting on everyone having their own checks seperately.


We usually just split everything equally and allocate the tip portion among those who maybe had more expensive things or more booze, etc. 99% of the time, everyone ends up paying their fair share.

Reply
","","
\"user-pic\"
weave
July 31, 2009 2:57 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

Some other thoughts.

* If a friend offers to pick up the check, at least insist on paying the tip, and drop cash for the tip. The wait staff will end up loving you too.

* Like others have said, always bring a good amount of cash with some small bills. It sucks when there's a pile of 20s on the table and everyone is asking for a bit of it back and you end up having to ask the waiter to break a few 20s first.

* If you get separate checks, still try to pay in cash and do it in such a way where the waiter doesn't have to return with change or run a half dozen credit cards. That will make their life a lot easier.

Reply
","","","","","","","","","","","","","","","","","","
\"user-pic\"
Carso
July 31, 2009 3:20 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

A lot of people have made the suggestion that you should just pass the folder around and have everyone contribute. But this assumes that people are carrying cash. And who carries cash, seriously? I don't think I've touched a paper bill in probably 2 years.


You can't exactly put 4 credit cards in the black folder, then expect to tell the waitress, \"Alright now, $10.25 on the Visa, $7.50 on the blue Mastercard...\"


Just split the f-ing check.

Reply
2 replies
\"user-pic\"
Princess Leela
July 31, 2009 3:37 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@Carso: You can't? My friends and I very often do multiple credit cards. Just jot down the amounts on the back of the check. Servers don't even blink. Maybe it's an extra pain for them, but c'est la vie in these modern cashless times of ours, no? And I always tip generously.

Reply
\"user-pic\"
gparlett
July 31, 2009 3:48 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@Princess Leela: You can do that, and I have, but I fail to see how it's less of a pain for the wait staff and it's sure a lot more of a pain for me.

Reply
","","","","","","","
\"user-pic\"
captadam
July 31, 2009 3:29 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

I have absolutely no problem with asking for separate checks, and I don't reach for the check, either.

Reply
","","","","","","","","","","
\"user-pic\"
MercuryPDX
July 31, 2009 3:50 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

And when you are dragged out of the office, you don't want to be that guy who asks the waiter for separate checks.

Clearly, you do not know me very well.

Reply
","","","","
\"user-pic\"
almightytora
July 31, 2009 3:55 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

I must be one of the unique people who like to pick up the check when everyone else is paying cash. Since my credit card is one of those \"cash back\" rewards, that means I pay less for my share of the check.

Whoever pays by credit card can pay for their portion of the bill and makes sure they are separate from the bill (separate check).

I do that for everything I am with friends with too (e.g. hotel rooms).

Reply
","","
\"user-pic\"
savdavid
July 31, 2009 3:58 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

Walk out after the bill comes. Works every time!

Reply
","","","","","","","","
\"user-pic\"
DeusPayne
July 31, 2009 4:20 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

Here's an idea. Don't be a cheapskate, or you'll quickly lose friends, or at least food friends. There are definitely people I know that people refuse to go out to eat with because they'd always short change. Personally, I'd rather be out a few bucks than think my friends are bad mouthing me the second I leave the table.

Reply
","","","","","","","","","","","","","","","","","","
\"user-pic\"
Barchy
July 31, 2009 5:15 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

I'm finding that separate checks is a regional thing. When I lived in NYC - asking for separate checks was tantamount to asking for the chef to come and prepare all your food tableside. In Phoenix, I noticed that a number of the people we went out with would ask for separate checks and the servers wouldn't bat an eye.

Now here in northeast Indiana, if I am with anyone other than just my wife (e.g. my brother, another couple, etc.) - the SERVER is the one asking! \"Will this be separate checks?\" Still freaks me out after 4 years here.

Reply
","","
\"user-pic\"
jsboehm79
July 31, 2009 5:21 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

Are people still going on about this like it's some actual dilemma?

Most restaurants (every one I've ever been in) will happily give each individual, or each couple, or two couples and four individuals, their own checks for their meals. You can ask them to do it at the beginning before you order, or at the end after you're ready to pay. Everyone pays their own and no one pays for anyone else. It's not rocket science, and it doesn't warrant such hand-wringing.

Reply
","","","","","","
\"user-pic\"
Possinator
July 31, 2009 5:34 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

When I waited tables there was a 4 top with two couples. One couple looked at the regular menu while the second couple looked at the lower cost lunch menu. No one wanted appetizers and the first couple said to put it all on one check. As soon as the first couple said that the second couple put down the cheaper priced lunch menus and started ordering appetizers off the regular menu along with big steaks. I couldn't believe, if I was the first couple I would have told them to pay for their own d@^^n meal.

Reply
","","","","","
\"user-pic\"
LeChiffre
July 31, 2009 5:51 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

Not sure what the point is of this story. How can you go to lunch without understanding who is going to pay? This decision is supposed to be made BEFORE you get to the restaurant. Talk it over. Discuss. COMMUNICATE. If you lay a bill in front me by surprise, I will toss it back. Not sure why separate checks are bad unless there is the proverbial little girl/boy that gets their feelings hurt over such nonsense.

Reply
","","","","
\"user-pic\"
TechnoDestructo
July 31, 2009 6:02 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

Get better friends.

Reply
","","","","
\"user-pic\"
catastrophegirl chooses not to fly
July 31, 2009 6:10 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

i love how the blog assumes that because you're a woman is when it's acceptable to let someone else pay.
why is it ok for women to do this and not men?

i am female but i pay my own way.
it's that simple.
sometimes i pay for the other person if i invited them and especially these days when it's one of my friends who is unemployed.
it's a personal choice, and i understand that some people were raised with gender biased dining etiquette.
but i don't go out to eat unless i am prepared to pay the whole bill or have discussed it in advance [my sister and i take turns picking up the check]

Reply
1 replies
\"user-pic\"
floraposte
July 31, 2009 7:46 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@catastrophegirl: Agreed. And there's often a seniority component if I'm eating lunch out, wherein it's appropriate for me to pay for the grad student.

Reply
","","
\"user-pic\"
ShadowFalls
July 31, 2009 6:26 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

Might be better to do what I do. Just take turns paying. If you are worried your friends are going to order a lot just because they aren't paying, you may have to look into better friends who actually show some respect to you.

Reply
1 replies
\"user-pic\"
floraposte
July 31, 2009 7:49 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

@ShadowFalls: You've still got an excluded middle there, though, which is the possibility that people order at different expense levels because they're ordering according to their budgets, which are different. Much of this \"split it six ways\" theory seems to assume that friends all have the same amount of money, and I think it's a shame if you can't be friends with people in different financial situations.

Taking turns can work in that situation, but it's tricky, since you pretty much have to ensure there are cheap outings and pricey ones so that the friends with less money have something inexpensive to cover. Pay your own way makes it a lot fairer.

Reply
","
\"user-pic\"
morganlh85
July 31, 2009 6:40 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

I swear I've never had this problem. Every time I go out with friends it automatically goes without saying that each person is paying for their own shit. Separate checks or not, we will pass the bill around and each person will give the appropriate amount for their food/drink.

Also, hasn't it been proven that servers get a HIGHER tip when they split the check in a large group than when they keep it all together?

Reply
","","","","","","","","","","
\"user-pic\"
Jon Mason
July 31, 2009 8:24 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

One of my only dislikes about the US compared to my native UK is having to \"settle up\" a table service check in a bar. The UK if you are out for drinks you will just pay as you go in a bar, walking up to the bar each time to get drinks - makes it much easier to figure out the costs as you either pay in rounds or go get your own if you're drinking/eating more.

Reply
","","","","","
\"user-pic\"
banmojo
August 1, 2009 2:19 AM
Moderate |Flag for review

whatever. if I'm eating out with anyone, if they invited me I expect them to pay, and if I invited them I pay. I had a friend that always split the bill to the half penny. bugged the shit outta me. the 10 minutes he wasted on his watch calculator was worth more than the freakin' bill. then again, had another friend who would ALWAYS bitch about the cost of everything he was eating. EVERY time. what a freakin' loser. still probably always bitchin' 'bout cost of anything. dick.

Reply
1 replies
\"user-pic\"
t0ph
August 1, 2009 8:27 AM
Moderate |Flag for review

@banmojo: Haha, he used a watch calculator. Love the visual..

Reply
","
\"user-pic\"
Carlee
August 1, 2009 3:27 AM
Moderate |Flag for review

I definitely would prefer split checks over trying to calculate how much everyone owes. How do you figure out how to split the tip? Do you split that equally among the # of people, or do you figure that if your dish was $20, then you pay for approx 15% of the $20+tax, and the person whose dish was $5 only pays 15% of the $5+tax?

I rarely carry cash. And sometimes one person will pay with a card and then everyone pays back with cash later - but there's always someone who doesn't pay (until you remind them) or someone who thinks their portion should be less because this-that-or-the-other. Why bother dealing with that? And having to round up or down... who keeps the extra couple of cents?

I have ended up going to lunch several times with a management type in my dept, and she always pays. But most of the time we have soup and it costs like $3 for my portion. I once offered to pay (when we went to a sit-down restaurant and lunch was like $20 for the both of us) but she waved me off.

Reply
","
\"user-pic\"
Spero
August 1, 2009 3:51 AM
Moderate |Flag for review

\"But weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals! Well, except the weasel.\"

I can't believe nobody thought of this before. Now it's buried on the second page!

Reply
","","
\"user-pic\"
ihazakitty
August 1, 2009 6:46 AM
Moderate |Flag for review

I don't have a problem with it. I was actually kind of shocked at my friend who would always insist on splitting it even when she had ordered something more expensive.

It's also important if you're on business and need the receipt (unfortunately that doesn't work when a large group is sharing meals)

Reply
","","","","
\"user-pic\"
Geekybiker
August 1, 2009 10:15 PM
Moderate |Flag for review

I know when I went out with the guys from work regularly it was like they didn't know their total included tax+tip which is around 25% here. Alot of them would either short the tax, or the tip, or just round down to the nearest dollar when paying. If I paid with a CC I invariably ended up paying at least a few bucks more than I owed.

Short story is people are cheap when they think they can get away with it.

Reply
","","
\"user-pic\"
esc27
August 2, 2009 4:01 AM
Moderate |Flag for review

I actually think it is a little rude for a restaurant to simply assume everyone sitting at a table will be on one check. If waiters/waitresses were just trained to ask \"will this be together or separate,\" all of these \"problems\" would go away.

Reply
","");