var json_comments = new Array("
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TinaBringMeTheAx
July 19, 2009 10:26 PM
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I once assisted a flight attendant with a rude passenger on a flight from NYC to Tokyo (very long flight) and, upon arrival, she spoke to the gate agent in Tokyo and got me a free upgrade to first class on the flight back.

I've been a sweetheart to the skywitches ever since!

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7 replies
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nybiker
July 19, 2009 10:50 PM
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@TinaBringMeTheAx: And yet you refer to flight attendants as \"skywitches\"?

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mac-phisto
July 20, 2009 12:37 AM
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@nybiker: would skywenches be more appropriate?

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citizensmith: I may be stupid but:
July 20, 2009 2:51 AM
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@mac-phisto: If I ever get enough money to own a big plane, that is what they will be called. Awesome. :)

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bohemian
July 20, 2009 12:57 AM
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@mac-phisto: Somehow I think \"skywench bring me an ale\" would not go over so well.

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nybiker
July 20, 2009 3:22 AM
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@bohemian: I agree that using that phrase probably would result, at the least, in the ale being poured on your head instead of in a mug, but \"wench\" is a noun for \"a young woman, especially a servant\" so some people might be tempted to use the word. [en.wiktionary.org]

But flight attendants are not servants and not all are female, so it would be doubly wrong to use the phrase.

Even worse, is the 2nd definition shown at the link, so you'd really get a unpleasant response for the usage.


Well, that's it for today's words of the day. Tune in tomorrow, same bat time, same bat station for more Words of the Day.

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TinaBringMeTheAx
July 19, 2009 11:27 PM
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@nybiker: Yes, I do. They are, for the most part, unpleasant people. But that's not a reason to treat them poorly, or not help them if you can. As annoying as air travel is for you, it is more so for them.

Plus, they can get you drunk for free if you're nice.

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MostlyHarmless
July 19, 2009 10:59 PM
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@nybiker: Clearly you have not had the pleasure of talking to:

[harrypotter.wikia.com]

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nybiker
July 19, 2009 11:06 PM
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@MostlyHarmless: @Dooley: Learn something new everyday. I have not met a Wiccan (at least not that they've told me). Thank you.


As for the HP link, I have not read the books, so you are correct about that as well.


Generally speaking, my frame of reference is that when calling someone a witch (or some derivation of the word), it hasn't been with the nicest of intentions. In the future I will refrain from assuming such intent.

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reynwrap582
July 19, 2009 11:58 PM
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@nybiker: Yeah, I've found that wiccan and pagan people are fairly common but don't often identify themselves publicly because...not everyone is exactly accepting of that identity. Same reason I keep my lack of theistic beliefs to myself.

I've had people tell me they've never met a gay person before (well, \"a homosexual\" or just \"a gay\"), and I just laaaugh and laaaaugh...

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MostlyHarmless
July 19, 2009 11:26 PM
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@nybiker: Actually it is quite safe to assume that when someone calls someone else a witch, its not with good intent. But depending on the context, you can often tell when the person means it in a good way.

Like this one, for instance.

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Dooley
July 19, 2009 10:56 PM
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@nybiker:

Why does \"witch\" have to have a negative connotation? Except in fiction, Withces (esp. Wiccans) are generally the NICEST people you will ever meet...

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greyspot
July 20, 2009 4:19 AM
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@Dooley:

I've had quite the opposite experience. \"Stuck up\" and \"self-important\" fit the bill where I live.

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xredgambit
July 20, 2009 2:29 AM
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@Dooley: Now if only my ex-wife followed your logic She'd still be the wife.


I can say the same for most groups of people. You also have your wackos like Christans do.


The only place where everyone is an asshole is the internet. Never met a nice person on here. But I think I'm going to meet a princess soon, she from Nigeria.

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Dooley
July 20, 2009 8:04 AM
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@xredgambit:

The thing is the very basis of Wicca is the Wiccan Rede, and the Threefold rule.

\"An it harm none, do as ye will\"

and the Threefold rule (also akin to Karma) is that what you send out will come back to you threefold. So, being nice, and respectful of others is an important factor.

But yes, there are always some exceptions, but my statement earlier is the general rule of witches

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katstermonster
July 20, 2009 2:06 PM
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@Dooley: I know many Wiccans, and while the majority abide by this rule, I know one who doesn't. She's a witch with a B. But I console myself with the fact that if we're playing by the Threefold rule, she is SCREWED.


Makes dealing with her a lot more pleasant. :-D

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Patrick Henry
July 20, 2009 12:27 AM
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@Dooley:

I live in the Pacific NW, so I know some. My friends are really cool (obviously), but there are wacky wiccans. My friend had a class with a girl who was very dumb, always answered questions wrong. She said she didn't like people because \"They make fun of my beliefs because I'm a wiccan and because I don't believe in gravity.\"

She apparently wasn't all that nice, either.

Skywitches is very funny.

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bornonbord
July 19, 2009 10:34 PM
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I remember trying to be nice one time. I offered candy at first, and that seemed to help a lot. But then booze, a ride to their hotel (in my van), to walk them to their room, to help them unpack, to order them dinner, to draw a bath, to give a back rub, to heat their bed, and to serve them breakfast.

They didn't bite though. The TSA officer did (in an entirely different way).

Somehow, I think I missed something in there...

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2 replies
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PølάrβǽЯ
July 19, 2009 10:53 PM
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@bornonbord: You offered the wrong kind of candy. Everyone knows chocolate is an aphrodisiac.

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reynwrap582
July 19, 2009 11:59 PM
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@Don't take anything aaron8301 says seriously: From the first half of your comment I expected you to make a roofies joke, and I'm glad to see you didn't.

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bornonbord
July 20, 2009 12:28 AM
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@reynwrap582: Why do they call them roofies when you end up on the floor?

Wait a minute... The ROOF!

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dandubois
July 20, 2009 4:16 AM
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@bornonbord:how do you know tigers love pepper? tigers love pepper. they hate cinnamon.

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blueneon
July 19, 2009 10:37 PM
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the whole \"I wear my undergarments high on my waist so others can see them\" fad hasn't passed yet? ugh

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6 replies
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Digitizer
July 20, 2009 2:15 PM
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@blueneon: Exactly! And they tell us \"no touching\"---\"LOoK but don't touch\" Lord help me to yield not to temptation! ;)

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billlnv
July 20, 2009 11:06 AM
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@blueneon: I think that she should have chose a different color besides pink. They do not go with the rest of her outfit. Her boyfriend/husband probably wears his pants halfway down is butt too. Such a stupid fad.

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Summermodoin'_GitEmSteveDave
July 20, 2009 12:12 PM
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@billlnv: Apparently her SO might be a Marine, so shhhhh.

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zentex
July 20, 2009 12:48 AM
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@blueneon: don't go to the mall much do ya?

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nycaviation
July 19, 2009 10:51 PM
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@blueneon: She does have sort of a porny/strippery name.

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Con Seannery
July 20, 2009 3:13 AM
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@nycaviation: How'd she get out of my bag?

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Trai_Dep
July 19, 2009 10:43 PM
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I always raise myself halfway out of my seat before the plane lifts off to inform the passengers & crew: \"There's nothing to fear: I speak Jive.\"

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6 replies
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nybiker
July 19, 2009 10:59 PM
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@Trai_Dep: You know, when you read the memorable quotes from the movie, you can actually watch the movie in your head (granted, you have to have seen the movie first).


[www.imdb.com]

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shadowkahn
July 20, 2009 4:53 AM
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@nybiker: @aliasmisskat:

Perhaps it was the \"appreciate the food that is left\" edict, which rubbed me the wrong way as well. I'm fine with everything else, but this? No. Sorry. You knew how many people were going to be on that airplane before it took off. You are expected to have the appropriate number of meals. If you're out of fake steak and I have to choose fake chicken instead, that's fine, but if my options are to choose between having 4 more bags of 3 peanuts each or 2 bags of almonds because you packed 49 meals for a 50 passenger flight, I'm going to be a bit annoyed.

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perruptor
July 20, 2009 4:04 PM
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@shadowkahn: It rubbed me the wrong way, too, but I think you're misreading what she said. She thinks you should be grateful for what food is left after the airline discontinued serving meals on flights that they aren't required to. In her view, if you complained about the rubber meat and limp vegetables in the meals they used to serve, you should be thankful there are still peanuts.

I think her list left some things off:

Don't forget to knuckle your forehead and grovel when a crew member speaks to you. Remember, they can have you dragged off the plane in handcuffs if you annoy them.

Forgo whining when they crash their rolling steel box into your elbow as you sleep. Whining is annoying.

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Trai_Dep
July 20, 2009 5:20 AM
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@I speak Jive.: Needless to say, on flights we'd share I'll cede my Jive-talking expertise to you.

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Trai_Dep
July 19, 2009 10:46 PM
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@Bobby Laurie: Yes, by all means, leave the busy flight crew unmolested. I mean, Jeezus, there are 150 passengers to chose from.

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savdavid
July 19, 2009 10:48 PM
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Be nice and they MIGHT be nice back and perhaps do their job. They seem like they are doing the paying customers a big favor most of the time.

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5 replies
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Wombatish
July 20, 2009 7:00 AM
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@savdavid: I think the biggest issue with Flight Attendants, on both sides of the interaction (and by extension, the only reason the rules should be different) is that they have a truly captive audience.

Reasonably, for the duration of the flight, you can go -nowhere- else. You are stuck with their, or one of their associate's, service.

So being nice is good. But them realizing that 'people have bad days, but are still forced to rely on/interact with them' happens too.

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FrugalFreak
July 20, 2009 6:26 AM
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@savdavid:

I agree! they are there to serve us not the other way around.

3 steps to happy flight attendants;

1. DO YOU JOB regardless whether someone is bowing to you.
2. DO YOU JOB or get fired!
3. It is not our responsibility to make your day nor job easier. if you want happiness, stay at home and get a pet, you want a paycheck, then simply DO YOUR JOB.

The attendant list she provided is kiss butt pro-attendant. screw that!

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oneliketadow
July 20, 2009 2:12 AM
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@savdavid: Sounds like someone else flies United too.

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jamar0303
July 20, 2009 5:15 AM
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@oneliketadow: Yep- Shanghai Airlines and JAL flight attendants have never been like that to me.

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Kogenta
July 19, 2009 10:56 PM
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@savdavid: I dunno, all the airline attendants I've seen have been reasonably nice. Not that I fly lots though. Maybe it's just the flights I was on.

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The_IT_Crone
July 19, 2009 10:51 PM
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#5: is unfortunately wrong. Good advice yes; but the douchebags who talk to flight attendants with their headphones on do it to EVERYONE. They leave them on while ordering at restaurants, at the cash register, getting tech support and while driving.

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2 replies
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thelushie
July 19, 2009 11:21 PM
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@The_IT_Crone: They are the same people who cause three car pileups on a highway while yapping on their cell phones and when the cop pulls them over a little bit down the road, they are clueless (yep, saw this happen....one cop at accident and one cop speeding after the bitch.)

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mac-phisto
July 20, 2009 12:40 AM
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@thelushie: not just clueless, indignant that they were pulled over for talking on their cellphone! can you believe it? what kind of gestapo country are we living in?

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youbastid
July 19, 2009 10:54 PM
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Sorry, this just comes off as condescending. The passenger's job is not to make the flight attendants happy. That is why they are called an \"attendant\". Because they are supposed to attend to the passenger's needs. I am respectful and kind to everyone the same way. I don't need to be told that I should be kissing someone's ass to get a Coke.

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Mari Walker
July 20, 2009 9:49 PM
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@youbastid: If you mistake basic respectful behavior for asskissing, there's something wrong with you.

Though, I suppose the really sad part is that the list was written in the first place.

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Anonymous
July 21, 2009 8:31 AM
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@Mari Walker: Giving out candy for no apparent reason is normal, basic, respectful behavior?

The sad thing is self righteous people who no doubt have already committed any of the above offenses. Of course those people make up some excuse like it was a \"one time thing.\" Overall she does come off condescending. Who in civilization has not been taught any of that before?

Also, dirty diapers? Really?

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Underscore_Lysdexia
July 20, 2009 2:34 PM
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@youbastid: I believe these rules apply to...oh I dunno everyone

But
it can be condensed to one, simple, rule:

Don't be an asshole

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dragonfire81
July 20, 2009 2:51 PM
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@Underscore_Lysdexia: Just because I am paid to provide customer service doesn't mean I am to wait on you hand and foot. Let's say work at Wal-Mart. Even if you want me to, it is NOT my job to run around the store grabbing all the items you need while you sit on the bench in the front and do nothing.

Need help finding a particular item? Sure no problem.

Common sense should tell you there are limits as far as what service employees can reasonably be expected to do.

The bottom line is the VAST majority of front line service employees are overworked and underpaid, with limited company perks and benefits. Their jobs are some of the most stressful in the company and yet they get paid the least.

Think about all the CS horror stories we hear about on consumerist. A great deal of them are due to he fact that companies want to spend AS LITTLE MONEY as possible on customer service and therefore set a low starting wage and hire whoever they can get at that wage, even if it's Rahib in India instead of Scott in North Dakota.

If the wages were higher and you could get more competent people into these service positions customer service would no doubt improve.

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Cylon12
July 20, 2009 3:48 PM
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@dragonfire81: No you are wrong when you said: \"If the wages were higher and you could get more competent people into these service positions customer service would no doubt improve.
\"


What you would get is higher paid incompetant people and customer service would decline!

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Underscore_Lysdexia
July 20, 2009 3:09 PM
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@dragonfire81: I never asked you to be my personal servant for the day, I just said that if no one was an asshole, we'd all have a much better day

That goes both ways

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Sockatume
July 20, 2009 11:14 AM
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@youbastid: The advice above pretty much is to be \"respectful and kind\". If you consider it too much effort, perhaps you're not as respectful and kind as you think you are.

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youbastid
July 20, 2009 6:31 PM
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@Sockatume: You're not listening/reading. I don't consider it too much effort. I'm saying this \"advice\" is condescending because there is nothing different about airline workers than anyone else in the service industry and they shouldn't get special consideration over other service workers.

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mythago
July 20, 2009 4:46 AM
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@youbastid: Wow, basic human courtesy and thinking about other people too is \"kissing someone's ass\"? Sorry, that comes off as idiotic.

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Anonymous
July 20, 2009 2:03 AM
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@youbastid:

Agreed 100%. Especially \"For extra-decent service, offer candy to your flight attendants.\" Like look at how cute we are, don't piss us off, in fact, butter us up! You're beneath us, remember?

No. I'll be courteous and respectful (unless disrespected) to a flight attendant just like any other service professional and I'll be annoyed with these annoying little lists.

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Cant_stop_the_rock
July 20, 2009 12:36 AM
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@youbastid:

Look at it as a list of how to be a decent human being. If you find that condescending, then you would probably benefit from the list.

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youbastid
July 20, 2009 1:39 AM
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@Cant_stop_the_rock: Yeah, no. It's condescending. Don't tell me to \"Smile!\" and \"Be nice!\" for the flight attendants. I'm there to get from point A to point B. I extend the same courtesy and respect to flight attendants as I would to anyone else in the service industry. They do not need a separate list of rules.

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aliasmisskat
July 20, 2009 2:16 AM
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@youbastid: I would say this list is applicable in many industries, but especially in one such as this, where a large majority of the employees are women. The condescension and mistreatment of women in service industries is endemic in our culture, and sometimes, yes, people need to be told it is not okay to touch the person giving you a pillow, or just because someone brings you a drink, they are not your servant.

People in the service industry deserve respect, period. No different than you would give someone in manufacturing, technology, academia, etc.

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biswalt
July 20, 2009 1:57 PM
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@aliasmisskat: I think the problem is that the airline industry has tried for years to sell us on an image of service they have no hope of living up to. If the purpose of FAs is to maintain plane safety call them Flight Safety Officers or something reflecting authority. Instead they are called attendants. Excuse me for expecting that if I'm having trouble putting a bag into the overhead compartment I might want the \"attendant\" to \"attend\" to my issue. Now to be clear, I fly light, like extremely light, 1 bag that gets checked in, and maybe my ipod. I'm courteous and understanding, and I'm not a problem passenger in any way. However, I do recognize that by calling them flight attendants you set the expectation that they are there to attend to passengers. Flight attendants can be some of the people, like police, and mall security, etc. that get off on a little power trip.

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FrugalFreak
July 20, 2009 6:41 AM
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@aliasmisskat:

Paid to serve = Servant. You may not like that definition, but it is true. If you can do the job as expected by customers, get a non-interaction job.

\"A SERVICE JOB will always be as such whether you think otherwise. Your job is to serve as job duties require, NOT to get through day with as little work as possible or just putting in loaf time for paycheck. Touching is a no-no. Customers asking for something and being ignored because you don't like the tone used or because you don't \"FEEL like it\" is not valid reasons not to do job. your definition of job and what the jobs should BE are two different things in yr 2009 due to spoiled people.

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aliasmisskat
July 20, 2009 11:27 AM
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@FrugalFreak: Thank you for reading into my statement what you chose, instead of the actual words. Nothing I said remotely pointed to any belief people should get paid to loaf. You want to get paid, you do your job.

Allow me to amend my previous statement; a person is payed to perform a service, not be a personal servant, unless hired in that capacity, which is decidedly not a flight attendant's job. If you want someone to be at your beck and call, pony up for the private jet, or at least first class. Even then, you do not have any right to act like you own the person waiting on you.

I've done the retail and food service thing. Most people who work in the service industry work extremely hard, especially those who are good at it. It's backbreaking, tedious, and most of all, they have to deal with people who view them as second class citizens, there to be pulled and pushed in whatever direction people wish them to go.

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Syntania
July 20, 2009 2:43 PM
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@aliasmisskat:
Amen, my dear! Spoken like one who's been in the trenches.
I still can't believe that there are people out there with the \"me me me\" attitude. They'd get a right shock if they woke up one day and suddenly they were the only person in the world, like their attitude seems to convey.
Here's an example. The chain of stores I work at sells coffee, and has an area where customers prepare their coffee. My dear darling husband was at another of our stores standing next to a guy who was fixing his coffee, and making a huge mess in the process. My husband said casually, 'Hey, pal, you gonna clean that up?\" Guy stared at him and said, \"Why should I? It's not my job.\"
Dear, darling hubby's response, \"Well, you're an a-hole.\"


I love my hubby. =)

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reynwrap582
July 20, 2009 12:05 AM
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@youbastid: Attending to your \"needs\" is getting everyone on the plane in an orderly manner, preparing the aircraft for takeoff, instructing you on using the safety equipment and properly evacuating the aircraft, getting you to your destination in a timely manner as a result of all the above, and ushering everyone off the plane at the correct moment and in reasonable fashion.

Unless it's a very long flight, absolutely everything else is a \"want\".

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hairyseaword
July 20, 2009 6:37 PM
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@reynwrap582: Not at the rates we're paying. If we're just cargo, I'd like the option of just paying what it costs for my shipping.

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jamar0303
July 20, 2009 5:17 AM
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@reynwrap582: And you wonder why people like the Asian airlines more... Service is every bit as important as safety.

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thelushie
July 19, 2009 11:22 PM
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@youbastid: It is amazing how many people in this society that you have to tell to be nice to other people. Appreciate them for the jobs they do just as you would want appreciation for whatever job you may or may not do.

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aliasmisskat
July 19, 2009 11:19 PM
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@youbastid: You're right, it's not your job; it's your responsibility as a decent human being. Paying for a service does not grant you the right to treat someone like crap, it grants you the right to the service performed.

See? Simple.

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The Black Bird
July 19, 2009 11:12 PM
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@youbastid: Maybe you don't need to make them happy but you damn sure don't need to be surly to them. You also should make their job easier by not being an a.. (I'm talking in general, not to you personally).

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pecan 3.14159265
July 19, 2009 11:10 PM
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@youbastid: That's not what anyone is asking you to do. Just show respect for people. It doesn't matter whether it's their \"job\" to get you a drink. Just show proper respect.

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Wombatish
July 20, 2009 6:29 AM
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@pecan 3.14159265: While I agree, why is this article about flight attendants, then? Why not just:

\"News bulletin: Golden Rule still a rule. More at 11.\"

By making it about a specific job, rather than just a tip when dealing with anyone, it opens up all kinds of crazy channels of analysis.

Why do I only have to be nice to flight attendants/people who post their \"be courteous to us\" lists on Consumerist, etc?

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CompyPaq
July 19, 2009 11:03 PM
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@youbastid: Nobody is saying you should be kissing their ass. Just don't be mean to them and treat them with the same respect with which you want to be treated.

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Esquire99
July 19, 2009 11:01 PM
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@youbastid:
You will soon be told, in a likely condescending tone, that the flight attendant's job is not to attend to your needs, but to ensure everyone's safety. If they happen to serve you in any way that's simply a bonus. Think of the terrible things that would happen if they were not there to tell you how to buckle a seatbelt....

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cuiusquemodi
July 19, 2009 11:31 PM
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@Esquire99: Did I hear you correctly? Did you say place the small metal flap into the buckle or place the buckle over and around the small metal flap? I'm a simple man; I do not possess an engineering degree nor am I mechanically inclined.

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Hoss
July 19, 2009 11:13 PM
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Smile and be nice are apparently tricks that don't come naturally to some people. Watch people in Walmart or any large store with aisle to a cashier or a restaurant. Customers that speak up -- \"How's it going today?\", \"Big crowds, huh?\", will always get good service. Even the most snarly customer service person on a bad day will react positively to someone that is conversational. Always works, always.

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adamczar
July 20, 2009 12:29 PM
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@Hoss: I've worked service oriented jobs where there are assembly lines of customers, and I have to say that sometimes when I'm in a bad mood the last thing I want is a \"nice\" conversation. More often the customers I enjoy the most are the ones that are efficient and in-and-out.

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kairi2
July 21, 2009 4:11 PM
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@adamczar: my hero. i work as a receptionist, and my favorite people to deal with are those who are polite but low key. if i'm in a bad mood, i don't want to hear lame conversation. especially if it's the same crap every office worker hears all the time (i.e. \"workin hard or hardly workin? HAR HAR HAR!!!\")

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chocolate1234
July 20, 2009 3:10 AM
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@Hoss: So true, so simple, and yet so many people don't get that.

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Kimberly Gist-Collins
July 20, 2009 12:00 AM
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@Hoss: Why should people have to kiss ass to get customer service people to treat you like a person. I am always kind, but almost never get a hi, or welcome these days. That is SUPPOSED to be part of the job. I even see signs reminding the workers of it and the still don't do it. In this economy, I just skip those stores and go to the ones where I get the service.

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bonzombiekitty
July 20, 2009 11:50 AM
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@Kimberly Gist-Collins: Yes, you should expect them to perform the basic services that their job requires just about no matter what. However, if you want above and beyond service, being rude isn't going to help you. It's basic human interaction. When I worked tech support, if you were rude to me I'd give you the barest minimum provided by my job description. If you were nice, I'd bend over backwards to help you.

Besides just getting above and beyond service, it's simply nice to be nice to people who work with the public. I used to be a cashier and would have to deal with probably over a 100 people over the course of a shift. Most of them were rude and surly even though I had done nothing to them, and it really sucks the life out of you. I got constantly bitched to about things that I had nothing to do with but were suddenly my fault (i.e. lines at the deli, products out of stock, etc). I'd suggest complaining to the service desk, because that's part of their job, and I can't do anything at all, or I'd offer to call over a manager since he could actually do something. Of course, nobody ever took me up on my offers, they preferred to be rude to me. But I digress. Even one decently nice customer out of 10 would erase all the stress of dealing with the rude ones that came before.

Be nice and courteous to others because it's the right thing to do no matter what.

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EinhornIsAMan!
July 20, 2009 3:54 AM
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@Kimberly Gist-Collins: Ok loser, you can be surly on principle. But when I get extra perks for my charm, I will laugh at you.

Fucking Facebook commenters

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Tiny Bug
July 20, 2009 3:06 PM
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@EinhornIsAMan!:

Ok loser, you can be surly on principle. But when I get extra perks for my charm, I will laugh at you.

Fucking Facebook commenters

That word, \"charm\"?

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EinhornIsAMan!
July 20, 2009 6:02 PM
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@Harcourt Fenton Bug: Whoa what happened to Tiny Bug? Yes I realize the irony-I was laughing hysterically as I typed that. Great movie by the way

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Underscore_Lysdexia
July 20, 2009 2:36 PM
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@EinhornIsAMan!: Your comment is beyond ironic...

but anyways, I believe what Kimberly here is trying to say is: All this courtesy thing should go both ways

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oloranya
July 20, 2009 12:52 AM
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@Kimberly Gist-Collins: I think the point is that if you're (meaning people in general, not you specifically) bitchy to the employee, you shouldn't expect them to be nice to you. Just because it's their job doesn't mean they should have to put up with people being unnecessarily rude.

I work as a cashier, and we're supposed to say hello to every single person who walks by, ask how they're doing, and ask if we can help them in any way, but if a customer makes a point of not looking at you, or responds to you \"Hi! how are you today\" with a mumble and a glare, or they straight out ignore you, they shouldn't be surprised if we're not exactly bright and cheery from that point on.

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humphrmi
July 19, 2009 11:14 PM
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At first I thought this was going to be one of those \"Wah! Here's where we tell you its your fault that we don't treat you well...\" type of stories, but upon reading them, they are all common sense. I find it especially troubling that in the 21st century, people have to be told not to try to fondle flight attendants.

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mythago
July 20, 2009 4:48 AM
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@humphrmi: It wasn't THAT long ago that flight attendants were \"stewardesses\" and their attractiveness was a selling point for the airlines.

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NeverLetMeDown
July 20, 2009 11:53 AM
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@mythago:


For some airlines (Singapore), it still is.

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catastrophegirl- WCIA: BOA all the way!
July 20, 2009 12:31 AM
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@humphrmi: common sense and common courtesy. these are all variations of things my mother taught me when i was toddler [except for dirty diapers which could be translated as picking up after yourself]

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floraposte
July 19, 2009 11:26 PM
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@humphrmi: Yup. I would guess that most people who would need to be told this are beyond salvation anyway, but good on her for trying.

The best FA I ever encountered was on a little Northwest Airlink flight--she was the only cabin attendant, and she was a marvel of smooth efficiency and control. She ruled that plane. I think perhaps she was flying it as well.

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thelushie
July 19, 2009 11:23 PM
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@humphrmi: Yep, no smacking them on the ass. Most of this article I felt was written by Captian Obvious, but you are right. It is amazing.

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pecan 3.14159265
July 19, 2009 11:23 PM
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Whenever someone asks, \"how are you?\" and you say, \"good,\" or \"doing well,\" try to immediately follow with \"how are you?\" because people never expect to be asked that anymore. But even if the person asking never means it to be any more than courtesy, it'll most likely make their day a little brighter when you just ask how they are. Even if you don't really care. Just ask, and nod when they reply.

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Scarlet_Begonias_and_a_touch_of_the_Blues
July 20, 2009 2:10 PM
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@pecan 3.14159265: @pecan 3.14159265:

If you're going to do that, at least make sure to listen to and be interested in their response. People do see through insincerity.

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GinaLouise
July 20, 2009 11:03 AM
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@pecan 3.14159265: I never really got the importance of this one until I spent some time in Moscow. Seriously, the cashiers/service workers there don't even make eye contact when they're shoving your purchases/change at you. If you're lucky, you'll get a grunt of acknowledgment. Ever since I got back to America, I always make it a point to be extra pleasant to strangers / customer service peeps (not that I was a psychopath before, but ...)

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Eyebrows McGee (now with double the baby!)
July 20, 2009 1:56 PM
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@GinaLouise: A lot of that goes back to when laughing in public could get you investigated by the KGB. I've had a lot of older Eastern Europeans, particularly from former Soviet Bloc countries, have told me they find the American habit of smiling so often disconcerting.

Not only that, but Americans tend to smile sympathetically to show sympathy for bad situations, and that can come across as TOTALLY bizarre in other cultures. One older gentleman who'd observed various purges and spent time in a gulag was helping some American college students with their research on the Soviet era, and told me he found it actively upsetting that these \"flower-faced\" (his words) young people were asking so openly about the horrors of the past regime, and then smiling sympathetically and encouragingly when he talked about them, because they wanted him to feel comfortable. He'd been in America for years so was familiar with the culture, but all that smiling and openness still made him deeply uncomfortable.

/tangent

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Con Seannery
July 20, 2009 3:33 AM
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@frodolives35: I jazz it up a little...\"Fine, and yourself?\"

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Homerjay still mourning Billy Mays for some reason...
July 20, 2009 7:08 AM
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@Con Seannery: Yeah, I take it one step farther and say \"I'm good. How's that smokin' hot bod of yours doin'?\"

It works for both female and male flight attendants and the older ones seem to appreciate it even more.
Try it sometime.

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Underscore_Lysdexia
July 20, 2009 2:38 PM
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@Homerjay still mourning Billy Mays for some reason...: And if you follow these steps, they can tell you how to be a member of this airline club I've been hearing about

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Julius Seizure
July 19, 2009 11:32 PM
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@Bobby Laurie: And they didn't even buy you a drink first? How rude.

Seriously, I look at the way some people act on planes and wonder: \"What on earth are they like with people they know?\" It's like something in the air regresses them to \"me me me me\" 5yr olds.

Luckily, it's a small percentage - at least as far as I can tell.

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Righteous
July 20, 2009 2:59 AM
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@Julius Seizure. (the CANUCK one): No, nothing in the air. Just a consequence of a \"me first\" society. The \"tips\" given by the bellyaching flight attendant (dare not call her a stewardess as that probably isn't PC per the PC crowd) are, by and large, concepts called common sense, courtesy, and manners. Problem is that most folks have no manners, no common sense, and don't no what it means to be courteous.

She is bellyaching, and is just as guilty as the customers, in my view. Her MO should be \"customer first\" and have a focus on service and making the flight as care-free as possible. Does she have the easiest job in the world? No. However, she needs to understand that she is in customer service, what her role is, or else find another job.

However, she is already at an inherent disadvantage by working for Northwest Airlines (now Delta, but it will probably take five or more years for the original culture to die), whose customer service motto is \"We aren't happy until you aren't happy\". I used to live in Detroit where I traveled at least monthly. Northworst was the absolute worst airline I ever flew.

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RogerTheAlien
July 20, 2009 7:14 AM
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@Righteous: Having a distaste for flying on ANY American carrier, but knowing one or two flight attendants in my family, I have to be fair.


-Customer service is *NOT* their first priority. Yes, it is *PART* of the job. Their first priority is customer safety.


Basically, as pretty much EVERY FA I've ever met has said, serving beverages and meals is more of a perk to the passenger (today, anyway - not so much in flying's heyday) and a way to keep FAs busy in-flight.


So, that's probably why they get pissed when people don't pay attention to the safety brief.

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mianne
July 20, 2009 2:37 PM
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@RogerTheAlien: I really wish I could sympathize with them about the lack of attention paid to the safety briefings. But assuming you've been on a plane more than twice in the past 30 years, you pretty much know what to expect. And even if it's your very first time on a plane, you can probably figure out how to operate the seat belt.

Want me to pay attention? Take a cue from Southwest. After over 11 years, I still remember hearing the line... \"If our flight should suddenly become a cruise, your seat cushion may be used as a flotation device.\"

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TheWillow
July 20, 2009 7:41 PM
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@mianne: I had one of those types of safety lectures flying from FL to NYC once. I can't for the life of me remember anything he said now, but at the time we were all laughing - and paying attention.

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P_Smith
July 19, 2009 11:36 PM
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And what should one do when already fulfilling that list and still encountering bad attitudes from some of them?


Regarding #5, I've had stewardesses, on two different occasions, grabbing headphones and literally trying to yank them off me.


The head phones were around my neck, not on my ears.


The jack was visibly not plugged in, the cord hanging around my neck and jack at chest level.


I've also encountered stewardesses who expected people to back up ten rows, rather than let me or others sidestep an obstacle course by stepping into an empty seat. Instead of letting someone go two feet forward and left, people are expected to go 20 feet backward.


Most of the time air travel is fine, but I've seen more power tripping in recent years.

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mythago
July 20, 2009 4:49 AM
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@P_Smith: One complains to their employer, as one would with any other service employee who is rude and not fulfilling the actual duties of their job. You've been on Consumerist for a while and know all this, right?

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Fitwit
July 19, 2009 11:52 PM
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I do all these things the right way already, but let's not forget who the customers on an airplane.

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Fitwit
July 19, 2009 11:55 PM
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Wow, need to slow down. Meant \"let's not forget who the customer is...\"

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henrygates
July 19, 2009 11:54 PM
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Something about opening the overhead bin and finding my flight attendant in that position is hot.

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Kimberly Gist-Collins
July 19, 2009 11:55 PM
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so basically, people need to practice common human decency. It's so sad that someone actually has to tell us this.

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Shadowman615
July 20, 2009 3:17 AM
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@Kimberly Gist-Collins: Yes, but certainly not surprising at all.

Nothing unreasonable about this list really, it's a good reminder for people to be courteous and to treat people how you expect to be treated. The list is actually miles beyond most of those \"Confessions/gripes\" lists we regularly get from customer service people on this blog.

Although I do take issue with number 3. I'm not a guest in somebody's house here, I'm a paying customer in a business relationship. It's not appropriate to expect I should \"appreciate\" any part of that transaction I'm paying for.

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HiPwr
July 19, 2009 11:57 PM
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Don't puke on them either. They really seem to hate that.

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STrRedWolf
July 20, 2009 12:03 AM
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10. That may be a problem; I'm constantly smiling and it makes them wonder what evil I'm plotting.

9, 8, 7. Easy. I only carry a backpack, and it slips nicely under the seat.

6. Hard to do when you're trying to read the safety card.

5. Oh definitely. They get drowned out by the noise of the airplane, and canceled out by the headphones.

4. Easy to do; they already had a long day.

3. Short trips, and peanuts? No prob, now that you're allowing a meal to be brought on board (I'm flying Southwest alot now).

2. No baby. No problem.

1. You don't know where those attendants have been! Literally!

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frodolives35
July 20, 2009 12:09 AM
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I just don't fly anymore. I have the type of luck that my name will match some drug mule and I will get the TSA guy with the really big hands demanding a cavity search. Plus all the other nightmare stories I read on this site about theft ,arrest , and abandonment has me driving.

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Cylon12
July 20, 2009 3:38 PM
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@Landru:


Yes... ever since the stewardess's got the power to hassle the customer, they use it at every chance! Look out. By screaming that they were touched when the plane bounced or shook in the air, they ruin some guys (Or woman's!) life.


But that's ok with the stewardess!

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Landru
July 20, 2009 5:04 AM
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@frodolives35: I don't fly either. All this \"be nice to the other humans\" is good and all, but it doesn't change the fact that if they are in a bad mood, and they often are, they can have you arrested. The threat is there and it is real - take what they dish out to you, or go to jail.

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golddog
July 20, 2009 12:27 AM
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Hey, hey, if you would take a second, take the little sticks out of your head, clean out your ears, and maybe you would see that I'm a person who has feelings, and all I have to do is do what I wanna do and all I want to do is hold on to my bag and not listen to you! And the only way that I would ever let go of my bag would be if you came over here right now and tried to pry it from my dead, lifeless fingers, okay? If you can get it from my kung-fu grip then you can come and have it, okay? Otherwise, step off, bitch.

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mac-phisto
July 20, 2009 12:50 AM
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can we get a top 10 of what attendants should do to keep us happy? how about a top 5 based on last week's trip from LAX to JFK:

5) smile! if it goes for us, it goes for you. i don't want to see your sour puss.
4) same goes for that 'be nice' comment.
3) don't drop shit on me. especially when i'm sound asleep on an overnite.
2) don't drop shit on me TWICE! for real? no, calling me sweetie does not make up for the fact that i have 3 snickers bars in my lap.
1) if you ignore rules 3 & 2, it's common courtesy to let the passenger keep whatever you just woke him up with. grabbing it off his lap is very uncouth. oh, & offering him a free nightcap to ease his way back into a slumber would be nice.

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ElizabethD
July 20, 2009 3:17 PM
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@mac-phisto:

Now that's what I'm talking about.

Also: We are paying your salary; suck it up.

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Con Seannery
July 20, 2009 3:40 AM
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@mac-phisto: WHAT? You didn't even get to keep the candy?

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subtlefrog
July 20, 2009 12:52 AM
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I'm good with this list - it all seems like what most people are saying - common decency. Except the part about sharing candy....here, I just have a hard time envisioning this playing out without me looking like I'm trying to suck up. I mean, the flight attendant is busy, doing their job, and here I'm like, \"Excuse me, can I interest you in some candy?\" It seems smarmy...and if I were lecherous looking and male, it could play as downright creepy. (No, really, it's just candy! as TSA drags me off for a cavity search.)

Maybe I'm just overthinking this.

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richcreamerybutter
July 20, 2009 3:58 PM
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@subtlefrog: Every time I've brought a few bags of snack-sized candy, it's resulted in free drinks!

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veg-o-matic
July 20, 2009 1:58 PM
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@subtlefrog: I kind of thought the same thing. Plus, nervous Halloween parents have always taught me to be very suspect of all candy given to you by a stranger.

I think flight attendants would have to refuse food-based gifts, if only for security reasons.

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Mike Graham
July 20, 2009 1:05 AM
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\"Not all flight attendants can help you lift your bags.\"

This may be true, but shouldn't they be be able to help me if I need assistance? They need to have the strength and flexibility necessary to assist me in the event of an emergency, I would hope they could help me lift my carry-on into the overhead.

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Rectilinear Propagation
July 20, 2009 2:08 PM
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@Mike Graham: From what I've heard (a regular poster in the customerssuck.com forums is a FA), some airlines won't even allow flight attendants to help with luggage and the FA's insurance won't cover it if they help you anyway and it causes an injury.

It's dumb but it's not their fault.

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RandomHookup
July 20, 2009 1:30 AM
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The diaper one is for all of us on the plane. I don't want to person doling out drinks and chow to be handling leaky nappies.

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jenjen
July 20, 2009 1:55 AM
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I find the best approach is sit down, shut up, don't go to the bathroom and don't ever ask for anything. Works great.

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atashida
July 20, 2009 2:03 AM
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Kind of frustrating for me because I'm always nice to people and whenever I have to ask something at the desk, they snap at me.

Sometimes these are the flight attendants and sometimes not.

But if my plane is late and I'm trying to figure out whether I have time to connect at an airport I've never been to, please don't treat me like an idiot.
(Last time I was treated like an idiot with this question, I had to go outside security and ride a bus to another terminal, and YES, almost missed my flight. Seriously...)

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cordeduroi
July 20, 2009 2:19 AM
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Here's a list of things that my customers are obligated to do to make it easier for me to take their money! Terrific! ... What planet is this?

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Ronin-Democrat
July 20, 2009 2:21 AM
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everyone at her and every other airline works for me.
I pay money -including for the privilege of bringing luggage- and their job is to get me and my luggage to my destination on time and together.
I am not on the flight to be nice.
as long as I am civil your job is to do as I say/ask.
I don't have to smile, say please or grease your palm.
If people are being \"nice\" they want something above their expected treatment.

and yes, I address them as stewardess and steward because they attend to the passengers not the flight.

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mythago
July 20, 2009 4:51 AM
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@Ronin-Democrat: And you are all hot on addressing them differently by gender because....you don't want them to think for a second they get away from your bossman issues?

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bagumpity
July 20, 2009 2:47 AM
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@Bobby Laurie: I'd be 100% up with not going all poinky-poinky on the stewardess if they would return the favor. If I had $5 for every time one of them poked me awake to ask if I wanted to purchase a $5 headset for the movie I was TRYING to sleep through, I would be a wealthy man.

And just try to read a friggin book! I think it's some sort of game with those idiots. (\"Hey! The passenger in 12C is reading Gone With The Wind- let's poke him with something and ask him if he wants to buy a miniature bottle of schnapps!\")

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Righteous
July 20, 2009 3:05 AM
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@bagumpity: I concur with your grievances. However, on the other side of the coin, there are those passengers who will throw a tantrum in the name of poor service and being ignored/skipped over if the flight attendant does not bother them to find out if they want beverage service, etc.

However, in all my travels, the flight attendants routinely tend to skip over those fast asleep as a courtesy. Maybe you are flying the wrong airline, I don't know. The way I look at it regarding beverage service and your date with the sandman, \"you snooze, you lose\".

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Bowildhax
July 20, 2009 3:09 AM
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On my United flight from Denver to Newark the flight attendants went above and beyond the duties - the 20-something girl in 13E threw up ALL over herself an hour into the three hour flight. The person next to her called and within 20 minutes the attendants had cleaned up her, the seat, the floor and alcohol wiped the entire area. The woman was a mess and not once did I hear her thank the attendants for helping her. They got her to the bathroom, got her a clean tshirt, and even administered oxygen. I was really impressed. I told them as much and will write to United.

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XTC46
July 21, 2009 1:50 AM
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@Bowildhax: Well they are obviously used to handling people who puke all over them selves, they work with piolts all day!


I kid, I kid...my exs dad was a piolt..and was a drunk, so the stereotype has always stuck.

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mythago
July 20, 2009 4:52 AM
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@Bowildhax: \"Dear United: You can't handle guitars for shit, but drunk vomiting passengers? Y'all got it down.\"

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Con Seannery
July 20, 2009 3:43 AM
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@Bowildhax: Maybe she couldn't thank them over the stream of vomit...

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menty666
July 20, 2009 3:18 AM
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Frankly the less I have to deal with the staff anywhere these days the better, customer service as a whole has gone in the dumper, and it's not always the fault of the employees.

But...keep in mind you're all crammed in the flying bus together regardless of if you're paid to be there or paid to be there, be nice to each other.

And keep in mind that while you're seated for that 6 hour cross country flight, the stewards are on their feet for most of that time dealing with a plane full of people all wanting something. Anyone who's a parent should be sympathetic to that, particularly at dinner time when the kids are all running around asking for drinks, making messes, fighting, etc.

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gman863
July 20, 2009 3:24 AM
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To those who have posted feelings that a flight attendant should be your personal valet while in flight, get real!!! If you're paying double or triple for Business Class or First Class, this may be a reasonable expectation. If flying coach or on a discount airline, you are paying Motel 6 rates - as such, you're not going to get Ritz Carlton perks.


Being nice to anyone in the service industry (airlines, retail, waitstaff, etc.) does pay off. Think of it this way: In your job are you more likely to go the extra mile for a customer/co-worker with a nice attitude or for someone who is acting like a total douchebag? The same logic applies to touching. If you consider booty grabbing a normal practice in the workplace your career horiscope states you have a rocky career path in your future with risks including sexual harassment lawsuits.


Finally, while most of us are intelligent enough to fasten our seatbelt, flight attendants don't have time to individually sort out the special ed students before takeoff. In the unlikely event of a surprise landing in the Hudson River, I'd prefer everyone on board to be familiar with emergency exit procedures. If the person sitting next to you isn't, the few extra seconds you spend trying to help (or climb over) them might be the difference between life and death.

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Gizmosmonster
July 20, 2009 3:25 AM
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A flight attendant's main job is to help us stay alive and well until we walk through that gate. All the rest is busywork. Give a little respect to the skill set they have to have, and things tend to work out pretty well.

If there is a life or death situation, no matter how obnoxious we as passengers have been, our best chance to get out alive is the flight attendant.

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Landru
July 20, 2009 5:12 AM
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@Gizmosmonster: \"A flight attendant's main job is to help us stay alive and well until we walk through that gate. All the rest is busywork.\"
Who told you that?

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CapitalC
July 20, 2009 3:32 AM
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<rant>

I fly a lot, I have super-elite status with my airline and the list above isn't really fair to all passengers. I have two air-travel lists, one for attendants, one for passengers:

For Flight Attendants:

5) When the Super Elite members board ahead of the rest of the passengers, you know who we are and you know we fly all the time (which is why we have status). Don't get PO'd when we don't listen to the safety announcement, we've heard it a million times for all different aircraft. I know that the Boeing 737-400 safety brochure features the woman who looks like Prince assisting with the oxygen mask. Why don't you go and smack the guy who's still playing with his PSP?

4) The non-first-class \"food\" (sandwiches) served on 99% of the domestic or short international flights (Canada / USA / Mexico) are sh!t. Don't get all righteous and act like you made them yourself when I ask how fresh they are. I may not have eaten today because of a busy work or travel schedule and yes, I may be starving. What you're serving is on the edge of what I'd consider \"food\", so give me a little leeway when I ask what I might be eating.

3) If I have my headphones on, don't ask me something and then get irritated when you have to repeat yourself as I remove them and say \"pardon?\". Ever considered gesturing or waving hello so I know you're talking to me?

2) Yes, I know what \"airplane mode\" is, I'm not making a call with my iPhone. Although, I may turn on the WiFi and show you because I know it freaks you out. Never fear, I have an app I can use to land the plane with.

1) I'm 6'5\" and have long appendages. My elbows may occasionally extend beyond the confines of my armrest and my knees / feet may also stray into the aisle. When you're wheeling that heavy metal cart down the plane, it wouldn't kill you to say \"excuse me\" or at least give a heads-up. I hope you drive better than that on the road. (As a +1 to this, you can see that I'm 6'5\" and usually one of the 4-5 tallest people on the plane. I asked about switching to the empty exit-row politely, don't give me the line about \"we'll see\" when the door is closed and nobody else is coming.)

For Passengers:

5) Read the rules for security. YOU ARE THE REASON THE LINE IS SO LONG! Removing all metal objects from your pockets, computers from your bags and shoes from your feet is easy and will speed things along. Don't complain about it, just do it.

4) Read the rules for carry-ons. ONE carry-on plus ONE personal item and NO, they can't be as big as you want. They put size and weight restrictions in place for a reason -- so everyone can get their sh!t on the plane. Don't be an ass just because you're afraid the baggage handler will misplace or abuse your luggage.

3) No, you can't get a free upgrade to first class. I've got status, if anything they'll \"give\" it to me first. Stop hassling the staff at the gate and the attendants on the plane.

2) If the row number on your ticket isn't what they're asking to board right now, don't go and get in line. The reason they board the plane the way they do is to avoid douchebags like you from blocking those who have to get to the back of the plane to find their seats. Ever wonder why it takes 30 minutes to load a plane but only 3 minutes to unload it?

1) The flight attendant said \"remain seated with your seatbelt fastened until the plane has come to a final stop at the terminal and the captain has turned off the seatbelt sign\", that doesn't mean \"unbuckle and stand up whenever you want\" or \"when the light goes off, bolt up from your seat and get all your belongings out of the overhead and stand in the aisle like a sherpa waiting for the door to open in 3-5 minutes. You've been sitting for 1-15 hours, just sit for another couple of minutes and relax. Even if you stop for a coffee in the terminal you'll STILL beat the luggage to the carousel.

</rant>

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JuliB
July 20, 2009 1:41 PM
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@CapitalC:

I have 1K United status, and I agree with you.

My only complaint is that I have the noise canceling headphones on, my music soft and can typically hear what is being said around me.

I do occasionally tap (not poke - is there a difference) because they cannot hear me trying to get their attention.

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henrygates
July 20, 2009 11:34 AM
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@CapitalC: I don't know about you but I don't think the loading system works at all. The first people get on, put their bags in the bins at the FRONT of the plane, then go sit in the back. So everyone who sits in the front (usually me!) has to walk all the way to the back to find an available bin, then squeeze through the crowd back to the front.

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jeffbone
July 20, 2009 12:31 PM
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@henrygates: I've never understood the lunkheads that put their carry-on up front, then go sit somewhere else.

The reason I'm carrying something on in the first place is that a) I'm gonna need it during the flight, or b) it's valuable and I want to keep my eye on it (or both). In either case, I want my carry-on nearby, either in the overhead above me, across the aisle, or under my feet if there is no other option.

I can see putting something in a \"distant\" overhead if there isn't space anywhere else. Other than that, I don't understand the reasoning behind stowing something up front.

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Esquire99
July 20, 2009 4:37 AM
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@CapitalC:
best reply in the whole thread. I particularly appreciate the part about the other pax at security.

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Dansc29625
July 20, 2009 3:52 AM
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Worthless article. I am respectful of flight attendants because I am a respectful person not because I read some blog on etiquette.

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Jeremy E. Cheuvront
July 20, 2009 4:57 AM
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three things for a Flight Attendant to make my being a passenger better....no just tolorable.
1. Don't yell at a doctor to sit down because the fasten seat belt sign is lit when a child is choking.
2. If a fat lady can get past me, you should be able to and if you can't please utter a simple apology.
3. Don't be deluded and thing that your job is so hard and terrible. I have to deal with you on the ground and let me tell you, I wish I had federal laws protecting me from your attitude.
4.

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Stephen Schenck
July 20, 2009 6:33 AM
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1. No Touching! - common courtesy, so yes.
2. Deal With Dirty Diapers Yourself - your baby is your problem, not anyone else's, so yes.
3. Appreciate What's Left Of The Food - well, you paid for it, so if it sucks, you DO have a right to complain. Maybe the attendant isn't the one who can fix the problem, but they ARE the first line of contact, like it or not.
4. Be Nice - common courtesy, but if an attendant isn't doing a good job, better to let them know, like it or not.
5. Take Your Headphones Off When Ordering - common courtesy, so yes.
6. Listen To The Safety Briefing - unless this changes greatly from flight to flight, it seems unnecessary to demand full attention.
7. Keep The Demands Reasonable - eye of the beholder; no comment.
8. Keep The Aisle Clear - common courtesy/safety, so yes.
9. Don't Hog The Overhead Compartment - are there coat racks? Where else should my coat go, over my seat and in the face of the guy behind me?
10. Smile! - only one that pisses me off. I'll be nice if I'm feeling nice, but I'm paying for this flight, so smiling is my option to withold. You're getting paid either way.

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yevarechecha
July 20, 2009 7:25 AM
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I'm one of the jerks that leaves the headphones in my ears when the flight attendant is addressing me. I do pause the song, however, so I can hear them perfectly fine. I am just too lazy to take them out and put them back in again, because it involves checking L and R, detangling the cord, readjusting them, etc. Lots of trouble just to say, \"No thanks, I'm fine,\" or \"Coke, please.\" I smile, I say please and thank you, I don't demand things or bother other passengers, I guess I just don't see the big deal of leaving the headphones in if the music isn't playing. But I guess I'm rude. I will try to atone.

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Anonymous
July 20, 2009 10:04 AM
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When, exactly, did it become my responsibility to cater to flight attendants and other service providers? The last time I checked I was paying the bill here. If you don't like my money go and get another of the myriad jobs available to you with a GED. TSA is hiring from what I hear.

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Hands
July 20, 2009 11:02 AM
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I always get up and stretch my legs at some point during a flight. Several years ago on a flight from NY to Amsterdam I made my way to the galley and started chatting with the flight attendants. I let it slip out that I was a massage therapist. A half hour later they finally let me return to my seat and treated me royally the rest of the trip.

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esc27
July 20, 2009 11:48 AM
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When I am able t show up to the airport within 45 minutes of my flight, have my checked luggage inspected with nothing stolen or cut open, walk through security without having to strip off my shoes, pay nothing for my carry on, bring a full bottle of water that I refilled from my own tap, and find my flight boarding on time with a comfortable seat where my knees are not embedded in the seat in front of me. Then I will smile at the flight attendants and give them candy.

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veg-o-matic
July 20, 2009 1:55 PM
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@esc27: Absolutely nothing that makes you bitter has anything to do with flight attendants.

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Anonymous
July 20, 2009 12:25 PM
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What flight attendants can do to make my flight better:1. It took you an hour to prepare the plane ... do you really need to be walking to the front while were tryiong to board? Talk about an obstacle course2. I don't need to hear your every thought ... you and the pilots stay off the damn intercom.3. Refusing inflight service ... one no should be enough4. I'm not interested in talking to you ... sound cancelling headphones, window seat, looking away when you arrive ... eoungh of a message?

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adamczar
July 20, 2009 12:32 PM
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\"calling me sweetie does not make up for the fact that i have 3 snickers bars in my lap.\"

Wha'?? That's my dream right there.

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gttim
July 20, 2009 1:08 PM
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I now use Frontier Airlines whenever I can. My first time using them the flight attendants were very good and personable. On the flight home we had an exceptional funny attendant who was just a riot. Her announcements over the intercom were hilarious. I was treated like my business mattered.

\"We have Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, 7-Up and Ginger ale. We do not have Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite or Diet Coke with lime. We do not have RC.\"

I, of course, ordered Caffeine Free Diet Coke with lime.

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Hagbard Celine
July 20, 2009 1:26 PM
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I thought it was \"galley hags\"(of course that was back when the served meals on flights).

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xamarshahx
July 20, 2009 2:38 PM
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i haven't seen this on Delta, American, or United in the last 10 years: 10. Smile! Just like your mother always said, positivity is contagious.

Its amazing how much more friendlier some of the foreign airlines and smaller airlines staff is. I definitively pay the little extra for that friendliness.

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PsiCop
July 20, 2009 2:52 PM
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You know, all of these tips on how to deal with flight attendants — with maybe one exception — amount to \"Be considerate.\" Do flyers really need \"tips\" to inform them to actually be nice to the flight attendants? I mean, really? Do we?

The one exception is paying attention to the safety briefing. Those of us who've heard it before, tend not to pay any attention out of familiarity. But I suppose it could well pay off to be attentive. It's something they have to do, regardless of whether we've heard it all before, so it's probably best to pay attention and appreciate it nonetheless.

On that score, Southwest flight attendants tend to inject puns and/or jokes into the safety briefing. Not that they're all top-shelf comedians ... but paying attention to them might merit a chuckle or two.

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Cylon12
July 20, 2009 3:12 PM
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The other side of it!


10. Smile! Just like your mother always said, positivity is contagious.


This works BOTH ways. What is common now is they just look 'through' you as if you don't exist, and they plaster that ingrating, \"screw you' smile on their uncaring faces.


9. Don't Hog The Overhead Compartment: Your jacket doesn't belong in the overhead compartment,


This one is true for all. But then... if you have a coat... the stewardess will be quick to tell you that hangers, and the coar rod/coat closet are for 1st class passengers only, then smile her 'screw you' smile and walk away.


8. Keep The Aisle Clear: Nobody likes obstacle courses. Keep your things out of the aisle or you will get hit with a galley cart.


With the airlines cramming three 17 inch seats in what used to be space for two 23 inch seats, there is no room left.

7. Keep The Demands Reasonable: Not all flight attendants can help you lift your bags. If you're told no, don't roll your eyes.


Maybe it is because the stewardess' treat you like cattle, with their 'painted on smile', that irks people. Not the so much of saying 'no', but how it is said.


6. Listen To The Safety Briefing: Yeah, we've all ignored the briefings, and apparently it really annoys the flight attendants. Pay attention for just a minute and they'll love you forever.


Yeah! Riiiight! The stewardess doesn't even say anything anymore, It is a scratchy static filled tape recording of the announcement. The stewardess looks so bored, and her eyes are unfocused on the back wall of the plane.


5. Take Your Headphones Off When Ordering: It reduces confusion and it's not like you would talk to anyone else while wearing headphones.


This one is true. If you can get the stewardess's attention to order anything!


4. Be Nice: Don't tell flight attendants how to do their job.


What job? Since there is no more food service, and even the drinks or pretzels are going away, all thats left for the stewardess to do is gossip with co-workers, ignore the cattle..... errr passengers, and leaf thru magazines.


3. Appreciate What's Left Of The Food: Well, well, well, look who feels bad for making fun of airline food all those years.


Appreciate whats left of the food... is that something like saying... \"appreciate you're being hung with a new rope?\"


2. Deal With Dirty Diapers Yourself: Do not hand these to your flight attendant, ever. Lavatories have baby changing stations. Use them.


If... repeat IF there is a baby changing station in the lavatory in that model of plane, and if you can wait the 30 minutes/hour in line to use it, then by all means do so!


1. No Touching! Do we really have to tell you not to poke your flight attendant? Apparently!


This is definately true... if you touch a stewardess EVEN BY ACCIDENT, you will be charged with \"Interfering with the flight crew\" and go to jail. (Since when has a stewardess been part of any flight crew??? Sheesh!) They have no qualms bumping into you, pushing, or such, but oh no! Don't you try it.


And besides, who really wants to 'poke' a 60 year old grandmother that is your stewardess.


.

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ElizabethD
July 20, 2009 3:16 PM
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I'm sorry, but ... a flight attendant is telling PASSENGERS what to do to keep her happy? Puh-leeez. The concept of service has really taken a tumble. (And I realize that manners and comportment have, as well. But still...)

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Cylon12
July 20, 2009 3:16 PM
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Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm?????


Flight attendant?... oh you mean stewardess!


It used to be that the stewardess were there to look nice and help... now they are 50 year old grandmothers.


A stewardess actully being part of the flight crew? Not likly.

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Cylon12
July 20, 2009 3:30 PM
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@Gizmosmonster:


Giz... you got to be kidding! a stewardess is your best chance? What about the cCaptain of the flight. or the 1st Officer? Hmm... Aren't they 'your best chance to survive\"???


As for stewardess's skill set... What skills? how to open a soda can without cutting themselves? Maybe being able to hold 4 packages of peanuts at the same time?


Come on! Stewardess's were put on planes to look good and be on-board advertising. Now they are 60 year old grandmothers, with more wrinkles than an unmade bed.


\"If there is a life or death situation, our best chance to get out alive is the flight attendant.\"


You m'boy, have been smoking too many of those 'funny' cigarettes again! If there is a life or death situation and you put your faith in the stewardess, I hope your life insurance is paid up! Your next of kin will appreciate it!

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Desk_hack
July 21, 2009 6:24 AM
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@Cylon12: \"Stewardess's were put on planes to look good and be on-board advertising. Now they are 60 year old grandmothers, with more wrinkles than an unmade bed.

There are a litany of names that seem appropriate for someone of your ilk, but given how you spelled that first word, I doubt you'd be able to understand any of them.

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Cylon12
July 20, 2009 3:35 PM
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Roni says: \"And you are all hot on addressing them differently by gender because....\"


Ummm... Maybe it is because a steward is a MALE TERM, and stewardess is a FEMALE TERM? Um... I do hope that Ronin can tell the difference between male and female.

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Desk_hack
July 21, 2009 6:14 AM
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@Cylon12: Hence the term \"flight attendant\".

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consumerfan
July 20, 2009 5:36 PM
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Smiling, I can do. Unless there's a screaming kid, the child behind is kicking my rump or the man in front has his head in my lap. Fix any of those and you're a hero.

My jacket does too belong in the overhead compartment.

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mrsultana can't get a password to work
July 20, 2009 5:40 PM
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How about some tips for flight attendants on how to get passengers to be civil (polite would be too much!):

5. If my elbow is sliding into the aisle when I've fallen asleep on the Boston to LA redeye, the proper method for notifying me is to ask me to move it, not remove my arm from my torso with the \"courtesy\" cart.

4. If I'm a smart, literate, pleasant person and you treat me like an idiot, I will act like an idiot. I know the general public does things you consider \"dumb\", but treating an idiot like an idiot doesn't make him more of an idiot. If you treat everyone as being smarter than 50% of the population, you have a statistically significant chance of someone responding in a non-idiot like manner.

3. Don't try to push credit cards on me. If you are an \"attendant\" and not a \"stewardess\", then don't try to make me want to get something I already have.

2. If my headphones are on, the lords of thunder and lightning do not need to be brought to bear on me when we are taking off/landing. They are passive noise-isolating headphones. Even not having them plugged in and the plug dangling from my glasses is enough of a hint.

1. YOU ARE NOT A COP/JUDGE/GOD. If someone doesn't comply with your \"orders\" (did we all join the military for the jaunt from El Paso to Tulsa?), they might have not understood/not heard/had diarrhea running down their leg. Don't go running to Papa \"Captain\" or the Uncle \"Marshall\" because my seat-back wasn't put forward. I wasn't defying your ultimate, Olympian authority; I was in the 10 minute process of clearing my ears and just didn't hear your decree. Back to rule #4, if you treat us all like terrorists, more people will act like terrorists (except, ya know, without the entire violence against others with weapons/box cutters/3.5 oz shampoo bottles).

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jake.valentine
July 20, 2009 6:09 PM
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Interesting, a flight attendant telling her customers how to keep HER happy?!? Most of this is common sense that I follow anyway, but I don't need some snot nose sky waitress telling me how to act on an airplane in order to keep her happy. I have been doing the things she lists for a long time and I STILL get terrible service on US flag carriers. Now I just fly foriegn flag carriers whenever possible and they are worth every penny for their airfare.

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Quilt
July 20, 2009 6:42 PM
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No poking? Fine. I much prefer pinching.

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reznicek111
July 20, 2009 8:48 PM
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What's interesting? There seems to be a distinct \"iron that shirt, b****\" attitude coming from the commenters expressing the most displeasure with \"the list\" - this strikes me as very telling about their attitudes towards women in general, not just flight attendants.

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Andrew Davis
July 20, 2009 9:51 PM
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One Easy Way for a Flight Attendant to Keep Me Happy


Don't slam the overhead bins- it is easy enough to close them and they have a latch that holds the door in place and you can hear it click when you gently close the door so no need to walk down the aisle and slam them all as hard as you can.

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TheAlarmist
July 20, 2009 11:25 PM
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omg, do people really hand dirty diapers to the flight attendant?
Why can't they go to the bathroom to throw it in the trash????

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David Dixon
July 22, 2009 8:04 PM
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I use to work at Krispy Kreme on Maui. It opened during the height of the craze, and a few months before atkins. With that, there is only one krispy kreme in Hawaii, since all other plans to expand were scrapped. This meant people were flying from island to island loading up dozens of krispy kreme original glazed doughnuts. It was so out of control, that the airlines made rules about the number of doughnuts that a passenger could carry on, and KK began charging for the half dozen boxes because it took us a lot longer to package them up.

However, I have received sooo much help from flight attendants by bringing doughnuts for them. It has been so successful, that I still do it if there is a KK on the way. I have received offers to be bumped up to first class. received first class food in coach when they couldn't bump me to first class. I highly recommend trying this.

I have noticed that chocolate didn't work. Tried it once, got a kind of small thank you, but i think the woman I gave it to hoarded it for herself since it was nicely packaged. There is no hiding a Krispy Kreme Doughnut on a plane.

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neega
July 24, 2009 10:06 PM
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I respect flight attendants for all that they do and put up with in the course of their jobs. They see people at their worst. We should just be considerate and everybody will get where they need to go.

One point, however, about this list. Where I would *never* hand a diaper to one of the attendants, many airplane bathrooms do NOT actually have baby changing facilities. Yup, unless you're on a longhaul,or fly JetBlue, every time you see a parent taking a baby out of those lavatories, they may have just been kneeling on the disgusting floor balancing a squirming baby on the back of the toilet. People don't fly with infants for kicks (so to speak).

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