One point, however, about this list. Where I would *never* hand a diaper to one of the attendants, many airplane bathrooms do NOT actually have baby changing facilities. Yup, unless you're on a longhaul,or fly JetBlue, every time you see a parent taking a baby out of those lavatories, they may have just been kneeling on the disgusting floor balancing a squirming baby on the back of the toilet. People don't fly with infants for kicks (so to speak).

However, I have received sooo much help from flight attendants by bringing doughnuts for them. It has been so successful, that I still do it if there is a KK on the way. I have received offers to be bumped up to first class. received first class food in coach when they couldn't bump me to first class. I highly recommend trying this.

I have noticed that chocolate didn't work. Tried it once, got a kind of small thank you, but i think the woman I gave it to hoarded it for herself since it was nicely packaged. There is no hiding a Krispy Kreme Doughnut on a plane.

Check out [www.AirPloyment.com] for Aviation Jobs.

The sad thing is self righteous people who no doubt have already committed any of the above offenses. Of course those people make up some excuse like it was a "one time thing." Overall she does come off condescending. Who in civilization has not been taught any of that before?

Also, dirty diapers? Really?

There are a litany of names that seem appropriate for someone of your ilk, but given how you spelled that first word, I doubt you'd be able to understand any of them.

@Bowildhax: Well they are obviously used to handling people who puke all over them selves, they work with piolts all day!

I kid, I kid...my exs dad was a piolt..and was a drunk, so the stereotype has always stuck.

One Easy Way for a Flight Attendant to Keep Me Happy

Don't slam the overhead bins- it is easy enough to close them and they have a latch that holds the door in place and you can hear it click when you gently close the door so no need to walk down the aisle and slam them all as hard as you can.

Though, I suppose the really sad part is that the list was written in the first place.

No poking? Fine. I much prefer pinching.

Interesting, a flight attendant telling her customers how to keep HER happy?!? Most of this is common sense that I follow anyway, but I don't need some snot nose sky waitress telling me how to act on an airplane in order to keep her happy. I have been doing the things she lists for a long time and I STILL get terrible service on US flag carriers. Now I just fly foriegn flag carriers whenever possible and they are worth every penny for their airfare.

5. If my elbow is sliding into the aisle when I've fallen asleep on the Boston to LA redeye, the proper method for notifying me is to ask me to move it, not remove my arm from my torso with the "courtesy" cart.

4. If I'm a smart, literate, pleasant person and you treat me like an idiot, I will act like an idiot. I know the general public does things you consider "dumb", but treating an idiot like an idiot doesn't make him more of an idiot. If you treat everyone as being smarter than 50% of the population, you have a statistically significant chance of someone responding in a non-idiot like manner.

3. Don't try to push credit cards on me. If you are an "attendant" and not a "stewardess", then don't try to make me want to get something I already have.

2. If my headphones are on, the lords of thunder and lightning do not need to be brought to bear on me when we are taking off/landing. They are passive noise-isolating headphones. Even not having them plugged in and the plug dangling from my glasses is enough of a hint.

1. YOU ARE NOT A COP/JUDGE/GOD. If someone doesn't comply with your "orders" (did we all join the military for the jaunt from El Paso to Tulsa?), they might have not understood/not heard/had diarrhea running down their leg. Don't go running to Papa "Captain" or the Uncle "Marshall" because my seat-back wasn't put forward. I wasn't defying your ultimate, Olympian authority; I was in the 10 minute process of clearing my ears and just didn't hear your decree. Back to rule #4, if you treat us all like terrorists, more people will act like terrorists (except, ya know, without the entire violence against others with weapons/box cutters/3.5 oz shampoo bottles).

My jacket does too belong in the overhead compartment.

@bornonbord:
It's the wrong Doug!

I think her list left some things off:

Don't forget to knuckle your forehead and grovel when a crew member speaks to you. Remember, they can have you dragged off the plane in handcuffs if you annoy them.

Forgo whining when they crash their rolling steel box into your elbow as you sleep. Whining is annoying.

@dragonfire81: No you are wrong when you said: "If the wages were higher and you could get more competent people into these service positions customer service would no doubt improve.
"

What you would get is higher paid incompetant people and customer service would decline!

@Landru:

Yes... ever since the stewardess's got the power to hassle the customer, they use it at every chance! Look out. By screaming that they were touched when the plane bounced or shook in the air, they ruin some guys (Or woman's!) life.

But that's ok with the stewardess!

Roni says: "And you are all hot on addressing them differently by gender because...."

Ummm... Maybe it is because a steward is a MALE TERM, and stewardess is a FEMALE TERM? Um... I do hope that Ronin can tell the difference between male and female.

@Gizmosmonster:

Giz... you got to be kidding! a stewardess is your best chance? What about the cCaptain of the flight. or the 1st Officer? Hmm... Aren't they 'your best chance to survive"???

As for stewardess's skill set... What skills? how to open a soda can without cutting themselves? Maybe being able to hold 4 packages of peanuts at the same time?

Come on! Stewardess's were put on planes to look good and be on-board advertising. Now they are 60 year old grandmothers, with more wrinkles than an unmade bed.

"If there is a life or death situation, our best chance to get out alive is the flight attendant."

You m'boy, have been smoking too many of those 'funny' cigarettes again! If there is a life or death situation and you put your faith in the stewardess, I hope your life insurance is paid up! Your next of kin will appreciate it!

Now that's what I'm talking about.

Also: We are paying your salary; suck it up.

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm?????

Flight attendant?... oh you mean stewardess!

It used to be that the stewardess were there to look nice and help... now they are 50 year old grandmothers.

A stewardess actully being part of the flight crew? Not likly.

The other side of it!

10. Smile! Just like your mother always said, positivity is contagious.

This works BOTH ways. What is common now is they just look 'through' you as if you don't exist, and they plaster that ingrating, "screw you' smile on their uncaring faces.

9. Don't Hog The Overhead Compartment: Your jacket doesn't belong in the overhead compartment,

This one is true for all. But then... if you have a coat... the stewardess will be quick to tell you that hangers, and the coar rod/coat closet are for 1st class passengers only, then smile her 'screw you' smile and walk away.

8. Keep The Aisle Clear: Nobody likes obstacle courses. Keep your things out of the aisle or you will get hit with a galley cart.

With the airlines cramming three 17 inch seats in what used to be space for two 23 inch seats, there is no room left.

7. Keep The Demands Reasonable: Not all flight attendants can help you lift your bags. If you're told no, don't roll your eyes.

Maybe it is because the stewardess' treat you like cattle, with their 'painted on smile', that irks people. Not the so much of saying 'no', but how it is said.

6. Listen To The Safety Briefing: Yeah, we've all ignored the briefings, and apparently it really annoys the flight attendants. Pay attention for just a minute and they'll love you forever.

Yeah! Riiiight! The stewardess doesn't even say anything anymore, It is a scratchy static filled tape recording of the announcement. The stewardess looks so bored, and her eyes are unfocused on the back wall of the plane.

5. Take Your Headphones Off When Ordering: It reduces confusion and it's not like you would talk to anyone else while wearing headphones.

This one is true. If you can get the stewardess's attention to order anything!

4. Be Nice: Don't tell flight attendants how to do their job.

What job? Since there is no more food service, and even the drinks or pretzels are going away, all thats left for the stewardess to do is gossip with co-workers, ignore the cattle..... errr passengers, and leaf thru magazines.

3. Appreciate What's Left Of The Food: Well, well, well, look who feels bad for making fun of airline food all those years.

Appreciate whats left of the food... is that something like saying... "appreciate you're being hung with a new rope?"

2. Deal With Dirty Diapers Yourself: Do not hand these to your flight attendant, ever. Lavatories have baby changing stations. Use them.

If... repeat IF there is a baby changing station in the lavatory in that model of plane, and if you can wait the 30 minutes/hour in line to use it, then by all means do so!

1. No Touching! Do we really have to tell you not to poke your flight attendant? Apparently!

This is definately true... if you touch a stewardess EVEN BY ACCIDENT, you will be charged with "Interfering with the flight crew" and go to jail. (Since when has a stewardess been part of any flight crew??? Sheesh!) They have no qualms bumping into you, pushing, or such, but oh no! Don't you try it.

And besides, who really wants to 'poke' a 60 year old grandmother that is your stewardess.

.

That goes both ways

Ok loser, you can be surly on principle. But when I get extra perks for my charm, I will laugh at you.

Fucking Facebook commenters

That word, "charm"?

The one exception is paying attention to the safety briefing. Those of us who've heard it before, tend not to pay any attention out of familiarity. But I suppose it could well pay off to be attentive. It's something they have to do, regardless of whether we've heard it all before, so it's probably best to pay attention and appreciate it nonetheless.

On that score, Southwest flight attendants tend to inject puns and/or jokes into the safety briefing. Not that they're all top-shelf comedians ... but paying attention to them might merit a chuckle or two.

Need help finding a particular item? Sure no problem.

Common sense should tell you there are limits as far as what service employees can reasonably be expected to do.

The bottom line is the VAST majority of front line service employees are overworked and underpaid, with limited company perks and benefits. Their jobs are some of the most stressful in the company and yet they get paid the least.

Think about all the CS horror stories we hear about on consumerist. A great deal of them are due to he fact that companies want to spend AS LITTLE MONEY as possible on customer service and therefore set a low starting wage and hire whoever they can get at that wage, even if it's Rahib in India instead of Scott in North Dakota.

If the wages were higher and you could get more competent people into these service positions customer service would no doubt improve.

@aliasmisskat:
Amen, my dear! Spoken like one who's been in the trenches.
I still can't believe that there are people out there with the "me me me" attitude. They'd get a right shock if they woke up one day and suddenly they were the only person in the world, like their attitude seems to convey.
Here's an example. The chain of stores I work at sells coffee, and has an area where customers prepare their coffee. My dear darling husband was at another of our stores standing next to a guy who was fixing his coffee, and making a huge mess in the process. My husband said casually, 'Hey, pal, you gonna clean that up?" Guy stared at him and said, "Why should I? It's not my job."
Dear, darling hubby's response, "Well, you're an a-hole."

I love my hubby. =)

Its amazing how much more friendlier some of the foreign airlines and smaller airlines staff is. I definitively pay the little extra for that friendliness.

Want me to pay attention? Take a cue from Southwest. After over 11 years, I still remember hearing the line... "If our flight should suddenly become a cruise, your seat cushion may be used as a flotation device."

but anyways, I believe what Kimberly here is trying to say is: All this courtesy thing should go both ways

But
it can be condensed to one, simple, rule:

Don't be an asshole

If you're going to do that, at least make sure to listen to and be interested in their response. People do see through insincerity.

It's dumb but it's not their fault.

@Dooley: I know many Wiccans, and while the majority abide by this rule, I know one who doesn't. She's a witch with a B. But I console myself with the fact that if we're playing by the Threefold rule, she is SCREWED.

Makes dealing with her a lot more pleasant. :-D

I think flight attendants would have to refuse food-based gifts, if only for security reasons.

@aliasmisskat: I think the problem is that the airline industry has tried for years to sell us on an image of service they have no hope of living up to. If the purpose of FAs is to maintain plane safety call them Flight Safety Officers or something reflecting authority. Instead they are called attendants. Excuse me for expecting that if I'm having trouble putting a bag into the overhead compartment I might want the "attendant" to "attend" to my issue. Now to be clear, I fly light, like extremely light, 1 bag that gets checked in, and maybe my ipod. I'm courteous and understanding, and I'm not a problem passenger in any way. However, I do recognize that by calling them flight attendants you set the expectation that they are there to attend to passengers. Flight attendants can be some of the people, like police, and mall security, etc. that get off on a little power trip.

Not only that, but Americans tend to smile sympathetically to show sympathy for bad situations, and that can come across as TOTALLY bizarre in other cultures. One older gentleman who'd observed various purges and spent time in a gulag was helping some American college students with their research on the Soviet era, and told me he found it actively upsetting that these "flower-faced" (his words) young people were asking so openly about the horrors of the past regime, and then smiling sympathetically and encouragingly when he talked about them, because they wanted him to feel comfortable. He'd been in America for years so was familiar with the culture, but all that smiling and openness still made him deeply uncomfortable.

/tangent

@aliasmisskat: Agree!

I have 1K United status, and I agree with you.

My only complaint is that I have the noise canceling headphones on, my music soft and can typically hear what is being said around me.

I do occasionally tap (not poke - is there a difference) because they cannot hear me trying to get their attention.

"We have Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, 7-Up and Ginger ale. We do not have Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite or Diet Coke with lime. We do not have RC."

I, of course, ordered Caffeine Free Diet Coke with lime.

Wha'?? That's my dream right there.

The reason I'm carrying something on in the first place is that a) I'm gonna need it during the flight, or b) it's valuable and I want to keep my eye on it (or both). In either case, I want my carry-on nearby, either in the overhead above me, across the aisle, or under my feet if there is no other option.

I can see putting something in a "distant" overhead if there isn't space anywhere else. Other than that, I don't understand the reasoning behind stowing something up front.

@mythago:

For some airlines (Singapore), it still is.

Besides just getting above and beyond service, it's simply nice to be nice to people who work with the public. I used to be a cashier and would have to deal with probably over a 100 people over the course of a shift. Most of them were rude and surly even though I had done nothing to them, and it really sucks the life out of you. I got constantly bitched to about things that I had nothing to do with but were suddenly my fault (i.e. lines at the deli, products out of stock, etc). I'd suggest complaining to the service desk, because that's part of their job, and I can't do anything at all, or I'd offer to call over a manager since he could actually do something. Of course, nobody ever took me up on my offers, they preferred to be rude to me. But I digress. Even one decently nice customer out of 10 would erase all the stress of dealing with the rude ones that came before.

Be nice and courteous to others because it's the right thing to do no matter what.

Allow me to amend my previous statement; a person is payed to perform a service, not be a personal servant, unless hired in that capacity, which is decidedly not a flight attendant's job. If you want someone to be at your beck and call, pony up for the private jet, or at least first class. Even then, you do not have any right to act like you own the person waiting on you.

I've done the retail and food service thing. Most people who work in the service industry work extremely hard, especially those who are good at it. It's backbreaking, tedious, and most of all, they have to deal with people who view them as second class citizens, there to be pulled and pushed in whatever direction people wish them to go.

@blueneon: I think that she should have chose a different color besides pink. They do not go with the rest of her outfit. Her boyfriend/husband probably wears his pants halfway down is butt too. Such a stupid fad.

The thing is the very basis of Wicca is the Wiccan Rede, and the Threefold rule.

"An it harm none, do as ye will"

and the Threefold rule (also akin to Karma) is that what you send out will come back to you threefold. So, being nice, and respectful of others is an important factor.

But yes, there are always some exceptions, but my statement earlier is the general rule of witches

@Righteous: Having a distaste for flying on ANY American carrier, but knowing one or two flight attendants in my family, I have to be fair.

-Customer service is *NOT* their first priority. Yes, it is *PART* of the job. Their first priority is customer safety.

Basically, as pretty much EVERY FA I've ever met has said, serving beverages and meals is more of a perk to the passenger (today, anyway - not so much in flying's heyday) and a way to keep FAs busy in-flight.

So, that's probably why they get pissed when people don't pay attention to the safety brief.

It works for both female and male flight attendants and the older ones seem to appreciate it even more.
Try it sometime.

Reasonably, for the duration of the flight, you can go -nowhere- else. You are stuck with their, or one of their associate's, service.

So being nice is good. But them realizing that 'people have bad days, but are still forced to rely on/interact with them' happens too.

Paid to serve = Servant. You may not like that definition, but it is true. If you can do the job as expected by customers, get a non-interaction job.

"A SERVICE JOB will always be as such whether you think otherwise. Your job is to serve as job duties require, NOT to get through day with as little work as possible or just putting in loaf time for paycheck. Touching is a no-no. Customers asking for something and being ignored because you don't like the tone used or because you don't "FEEL like it" is not valid reasons not to do job. your definition of job and what the jobs should BE are two different things in yr 2009 due to spoiled people.

"News bulletin: Golden Rule still a rule. More at 11."

By making it about a specific job, rather than just a tip when dealing with anyone, it opens up all kinds of crazy channels of analysis.

Why do I only have to be nice to flight attendants/people who post their "be courteous to us" lists on Consumerist, etc?

I agree! they are there to serve us not the other way around.

3 steps to happy flight attendants;

1. DO YOU JOB regardless whether someone is bowing to you.
2. DO YOU JOB or get fired!
3. It is not our responsibility to make your day nor job easier. if you want happiness, stay at home and get a pet, you want a paycheck, then simply DO YOUR JOB.

The attendant list she provided is kiss butt pro-attendant. screw that!

three things for a Flight Attendant to make my being a passenger better....no just tolorable.
1. Don't yell at a doctor to sit down because the fasten seat belt sign is lit when a child is choking.
2. If a fat lady can get past me, you should be able to and if you can't please utter a simple apology.
3. Don't be deluded and thing that your job is so hard and terrible. I have to deal with you on the ground and let me tell you, I wish I had federal laws protecting me from your attitude.
4.

Perhaps it was the "appreciate the food that is left" edict, which rubbed me the wrong way as well. I'm fine with everything else, but this? No. Sorry. You knew how many people were going to be on that airplane before it took off. You are expected to have the appropriate number of meals. If you're out of fake steak and I have to choose fake chicken instead, that's fine, but if my options are to choose between having 4 more bags of 3 peanuts each or 2 bags of almonds because you packed 49 meals for a 50 passenger flight, I'm going to be a bit annoyed.

I've had quite the opposite experience. "Stuck up" and "self-important" fit the bill where I live.

@bornonbord:how do you know tigers love pepper? tigers love pepper. they hate cinnamon.

Fucking Facebook commenters

I fly a lot, I have super-elite status with my airline and the list above isn't really fair to all passengers. I have two air-travel lists, one for attendants, one for passengers:

For Flight Attendants:

5) When the Super Elite members board ahead of the rest of the passengers, you know who we are and you know we fly all the time (which is why we have status). Don't get PO'd when we don't listen to the safety announcement, we've heard it a million times for all different aircraft. I know that the Boeing 737-400 safety brochure features the woman who looks like Prince assisting with the oxygen mask. Why don't you go and smack the guy who's still playing with his PSP?

4) The non-first-class "food" (sandwiches) served on 99% of the domestic or short international flights (Canada / USA / Mexico) are sh!t. Don't get all righteous and act like you made them yourself when I ask how fresh they are. I may not have eaten today because of a busy work or travel schedule and yes, I may be starving. What you're serving is on the edge of what I'd consider "food", so give me a little leeway when I ask what I might be eating.

3) If I have my headphones on, don't ask me something and then get irritated when you have to repeat yourself as I remove them and say "pardon?". Ever considered gesturing or waving hello so I know you're talking to me?

2) Yes, I know what "airplane mode" is, I'm not making a call with my iPhone. Although, I may turn on the WiFi and show you because I know it freaks you out. Never fear, I have an app I can use to land the plane with.

1) I'm 6'5" and have long appendages. My elbows may occasionally extend beyond the confines of my armrest and my knees / feet may also stray into the aisle. When you're wheeling that heavy metal cart down the plane, it wouldn't kill you to say "excuse me" or at least give a heads-up. I hope you drive better than that on the road. (As a +1 to this, you can see that I'm 6'5" and usually one of the 4-5 tallest people on the plane. I asked about switching to the empty exit-row politely, don't give me the line about "we'll see" when the door is closed and nobody else is coming.)

For Passengers:

5) Read the rules for security. YOU ARE THE REASON THE LINE IS SO LONG! Removing all metal objects from your pockets, computers from your bags and shoes from your feet is easy and will speed things along. Don't complain about it, just do it.

4) Read the rules for carry-ons. ONE carry-on plus ONE personal item and NO, they can't be as big as you want. They put size and weight restrictions in place for a reason -- so everyone can get their sh!t on the plane. Don't be an ass just because you're afraid the baggage handler will misplace or abuse your luggage.

3) No, you can't get a free upgrade to first class. I've got status, if anything they'll "give" it to me first. Stop hassling the staff at the gate and the attendants on the plane.

2) If the row number on your ticket isn't what they're asking to board right now, don't go and get in line. The reason they board the plane the way they do is to avoid douchebags like you from blocking those who have to get to the back of the plane to find their seats. Ever wonder why it takes 30 minutes to load a plane but only 3 minutes to unload it?

1) The flight attendant said "remain seated with your seatbelt fastened until the plane has come to a final stop at the terminal and the captain has turned off the seatbelt sign", that doesn't mean "unbuckle and stand up whenever you want" or "when the light goes off, bolt up from your seat and get all your belongings out of the overhead and stand in the aisle like a sherpa waiting for the door to open in 3-5 minutes. You've been sitting for 1-15 hours, just sit for another couple of minutes and relax. Even if you stop for a coffee in the terminal you'll STILL beat the luggage to the carousel.

</rant>

If there is a life or death situation, no matter how obnoxious we as passengers have been, our best chance to get out alive is the flight attendant.

To those who have posted feelings that a flight attendant should be your personal valet while in flight, get real!!! If you're paying double or triple for Business Class or First Class, this may be a reasonable expectation. If flying coach or on a discount airline, you are paying Motel 6 rates - as such, you're not going to get Ritz Carlton perks.

Being nice to anyone in the service industry (airlines, retail, waitstaff, etc.) does pay off. Think of it this way: In your job are you more likely to go the extra mile for a customer/co-worker with a nice attitude or for someone who is acting like a total douchebag? The same logic applies to touching. If you consider booty grabbing a normal practice in the workplace your career horiscope states you have a rocky career path in your future with risks including sexual harassment lawsuits.

Finally, while most of us are intelligent enough to fasten our seatbelt, flight attendants don't have time to individually sort out the special ed students before takeoff. In the unlikely event of a surprise landing in the Hudson River, I'd prefer everyone on board to be familiar with emergency exit procedures. If the person sitting next to you isn't, the few extra seconds you spend trying to help (or climb over) them might be the difference between life and death.

@bohemian: I agree that using that phrase probably would result, at the least, in the ale being poured on your head instead of in a mug, but "wench" is a noun for "a young woman, especially a servant" so some people might be tempted to use the word. [en.wiktionary.org]

But flight attendants are not servants and not all are female, so it would be doubly wrong to use the phrase.

Even worse, is the 2nd definition shown at the link, so you'd really get a unpleasant response for the usage.

Well, that's it for today's words of the day. Tune in tomorrow, same bat time, same bat station for more Words of the Day.

But...keep in mind you're all crammed in the flying bus together regardless of if you're paid to be there or paid to be there, be nice to each other.

And keep in mind that while you're seated for that 6 hour cross country flight, the stewards are on their feet for most of that time dealing with a plane full of people all wanting something. Anyone who's a parent should be sympathetic to that, particularly at dinner time when the kids are all running around asking for drinks, making messes, fighting, etc.

Nothing unreasonable about this list really, it's a good reminder for people to be courteous and to treat people how you expect to be treated. The list is actually miles beyond most of those "Confessions/gripes" lists we regularly get from customer service people on this blog.

Although I do take issue with number 3. I'm not a guest in somebody's house here, I'm a paying customer in a business relationship. It's not appropriate to expect I should "appreciate" any part of that transaction I'm paying for.

However, in all my travels, the flight attendants routinely tend to skip over those fast asleep as a courtesy. Maybe you are flying the wrong airline, I don't know. The way I look at it regarding beverage service and your date with the sandman, "you snooze, you lose".

She is bellyaching, and is just as guilty as the customers, in my view. Her MO should be "customer first" and have a focus on service and making the flight as care-free as possible. Does she have the easiest job in the world? No. However, she needs to understand that she is in customer service, what her role is, or else find another job.

However, she is already at an inherent disadvantage by working for Northwest Airlines (now Delta, but it will probably take five or more years for the original culture to die), whose customer service motto is "We aren't happy until you aren't happy". I used to live in Detroit where I traveled at least monthly. Northworst was the absolute worst airline I ever flew.

@golddog: Best scene ever!

And just try to read a friggin book! I think it's some sort of game with those idiots. ("Hey! The passenger in 12C is reading Gone With The Wind- let's poke him with something and ask him if he wants to buy a miniature bottle of schnapps!")

@Dooley: Now if only my ex-wife followed your logic She'd still be the wife.

I can say the same for most groups of people. You also have your wackos like Christans do.

The only place where everyone is an asshole is the internet. Never met a nice person on here. But I think I'm going to meet a princess soon, she from Nigeria.

and yes, I address them as stewardess and steward because they attend to the passengers not the flight.

People in the service industry deserve respect, period. No different than you would give someone in manufacturing, technology, academia, etc.

Sometimes these are the flight attendants and sometimes not.

But if my plane is late and I'm trying to figure out whether I have time to connect at an airport I've never been to, please don't treat me like an idiot.
(Last time I was treated like an idiot with this question, I had to go outside security and ride a bus to another terminal, and YES, almost missed my flight. Seriously...)

Agreed 100%. Especially "For extra-decent service, offer candy to your flight attendants." Like look at how cute we are, don't piss us off, in fact, butter us up! You're beneath us, remember?

No. I'll be courteous and respectful (unless disrespected) to a flight attendant just like any other service professional and I'll be annoyed with these annoying little lists.

The diaper one is for all of us on the plane. I don't want to person doling out drinks and chow to be handling leaky nappies.

This may be true, but shouldn't they be be able to help me if I need assistance? They need to have the strength and flexibility necessary to assist me in the event of an emergency, I would hope they could help me lift my carry-on into the overhead.

I work as a cashier, and we're supposed to say hello to every single person who walks by, ask how they're doing, and ask if we can help them in any way, but if a customer makes a point of not looking at you, or responds to you "Hi! how are you today" with a mumble and a glare, or they straight out ignore you, they shouldn't be surprised if we're not exactly bright and cheery from that point on.

Maybe I'm just overthinking this.

5) smile! if it goes for us, it goes for you. i don't want to see your sour puss.
4) same goes for that 'be nice' comment.
3) don't drop shit on me. especially when i'm sound asleep on an overnite.
2) don't drop shit on me TWICE! for real? no, calling me sweetie does not make up for the fact that i have 3 snickers bars in my lap.
1) if you ignore rules 3 & 2, it's common courtesy to let the passenger keep whatever you just woke him up with. grabbing it off his lap is very uncouth. oh, & offering him a free nightcap to ease his way back into a slumber would be nice.

Look at it as a list of how to be a decent human being. If you find that condescending, then you would probably benefit from the list.

Wait a minute... The ROOF!

I live in the Pacific NW, so I know some. My friends are really cool (obviously), but there are wacky wiccans. My friend had a class with a girl who was very dumb, always answered questions wrong. She said she didn't like people because "They make fun of my beliefs because I'm a wiccan and because I don't believe in gravity."

She apparently wasn't all that nice, either.

Skywitches is very funny.

I just don't fly anymore. I have the type of luck that my name will match some drug mule and I will get the TSA guy with the really big hands demanding a cavity search. Plus all the other nightmare stories I read on this site about theft ,arrest , and abandonment has me driving.

Unless it's a very long flight, absolutely everything else is a "want".

@pecan 3.14159265: The quick response "fine and you"

9, 8, 7. Easy. I only carry a backpack, and it slips nicely under the seat.

6. Hard to do when you're trying to read the safety card.

5. Oh definitely. They get drowned out by the noise of the airplane, and canceled out by the headphones.

4. Easy to do; they already had a long day.

3. Short trips, and peanuts? No prob, now that you're allowing a meal to be brought on board (I'm flying Southwest alot now).

2. No baby. No problem.

1. You don't know where those attendants have been! Literally!

I've had people tell me they've never met a gay person before (well, "a homosexual" or just "a gay"), and I just laaaugh and laaaaugh...

Don't puke on them either. They really seem to hate that.

And what should one do when already fulfilling that list and still encountering bad attitudes from some of them?

Regarding #5, I've had stewardesses, on two different occasions, grabbing headphones and literally trying to yank them off me.

The head phones were around my neck, not on my ears.

The jack was visibly not plugged in, the cord hanging around my neck and jack at chest level.

I've also encountered stewardesses who expected people to back up ten rows, rather than let me or others sidestep an obstacle course by stepping into an empty seat. Instead of letting someone go two feet forward and left, people are expected to go 20 feet backward.

Most of the time air travel is fine, but I've seen more power tripping in recent years.

Seriously, I look at the way some people act on planes and wonder: "What on earth are they like with people they know?" It's like something in the air regresses them to "me me me me" 5yr olds.

Luckily, it's a small percentage - at least as far as I can tell.

Plus, they can get you drunk for free if you're nice.

Like this one, for instance.

The best FA I ever encountered was on a little Northwest Airlink flight--she was the only cabin attendant, and she was a marvel of smooth efficiency and control. She ruled that plane. I think perhaps she was flying it as well.

@humphrmi: Yep, no smacking them on the ass. Most of this article I felt was written by Captian Obvious, but you are right. It is amazing.

@youbastid: It is amazing how many people in this society that you have to tell to be nice to other people. Appreciate them for the jobs they do just as you would want appreciation for whatever job you may or may not do.

@The_IT_Crone: They are the same people who cause three car pileups on a highway while yapping on their cell phones and when the cop pulls them over a little bit down the road, they are clueless (yep, saw this happen....one cop at accident and one cop speeding after the bitch.)

See? Simple.

@MostlyHarmless: @Dooley: Learn something new everyday. I have not met a Wiccan (at least not that they've told me). Thank you.

As for the HP link, I have not read the books, so you are correct about that as well.

Generally speaking, my frame of reference is that when calling someone a witch (or some derivation of the word), it hasn't been with the nicest of intentions. In the future I will refrain from assuming such intent.

[harrypotter.wikia.com]

@Trai_Dep: You know, when you read the memorable quotes from the movie, you can actually watch the movie in your head (granted, you have to have seen the movie first).

[www.imdb.com]

Why does "witch" have to have a negative connotation? Except in fiction, Withces (esp. Wiccans) are generally the NICEST people you will ever meet...

@savdavid: I dunno, all the airline attendants I've seen have been reasonably nice. Not that I fly lots though. Maybe it's just the flights I was on.

@TinaBringMeTheAx: And yet you refer to flight attendants as "skywitches"?

They didn't bite though. The TSA officer did (in an entirely different way).

Somehow, I think I missed something in there...

I've been a sweetheart to the skywitches ever since!