![\"user-pic\"](\"/css/images/default.gif\")
WTF
WTF
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-954103-100x100.png\")
There was an episode of True Life where a little person had to jerry-rig herself one of these, because her arms weren't long enough to reach.
@babyruthless: yes!!!! there was once a little person on a chat I was in...and they welcomed questions no matter how personal...someone asked \"how do you wipe your ass\"
They linked us to a site that sold these little grabber things like a claw on the end that grabbed the toilet paper. personally I think they should come with a swiffer wet jet squirty thing too...in case its extra messy.
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-430750-100x100.png\")
@babyruthless: I know bodybuilders that have the same issue.
There are legitimate needs for such a device, but I just find it funny.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-175610-100x100.png\")
Butt Swiffer?
The day I can't wipe myself is the day I check out for good.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-389505-100x100.png\")
@MyPetFly: I guess there are plausible medical uses but I have to agree, when I can't do it myself, it's time to go.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-6173-100x100.png\")
@MyPetFly: Don't get pregnant. (Especially not if you're a man.) Near the end there, one of these would have seemed like a good idea ....
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-808630-100x100.png\")
@Eyebrows McGee (now with more baby!): Yup. Or have major abdominal surgery. Or heck, even just with this foot surgery I had, balancing on one foot while wiping is no easy task. Add in some pain meds that make you dizzy and whoa, it's no fun at all.
Mind you, those categories should relegate it to the sphere of all things medical device-ish...there is a bit of an ick factor at having such a product marketed to the everyday mainstream. Hence the reactions.
@MyPetFly: Careful there, honey. You're one broken bone or serious surgery away from having a nurse help you with this. I can say with some authority that it's a very humbling experience.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-37033-100x100.png\")
Unless it's a vertebra, or a Graziano-style caved-in skull, it'd take more than one bone to do that.
Also, you're still wiping your own ass when you use this. The fact that you're using a tool to do it...well, you're using a tool when you use toilet paper.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-857746-100x100.png\")
Ok - for people who have a medical need for something like this, I can totally see having it.
But for everybody else - have we gotten so lazy as a society that we won't reach back and wipe our own ass??? In the end, it's something you're going to have to clean and disinfect because it's come into contact with your own fecal matter/bacteria. Your hands are wash & wear - why don't you just use those with toilet paper instead of a piece of plastic?
And how is this anatomically designed for my ass? I really fail to see how it is going to help me wipe properly.
@Vanilla5: You are so old fashioned. Think about it: toilet paper has been essentially unchanged for one hundred years. Isn't that a good enough reason to buy one???
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-940937-100x100.png\")
@Vanilla5: \"But for everybody else - have we gotten so lazy as a society that we won't reach back and wipe our own ass???\"
Based on my projections for how well this thing will sell, I'll say \"no.\"
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-73971-100x100.png\")
\"Being a big guy certainly has it's advantages and disadvantages\"
Advantages: You are large.
Disadvantages: You are too large to wipe your own fat ass.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-131723-100x100.png\")
@NoWireHangers: Advantage: Being mistaken for Bubba the Love Sponge
Disadvantage: Being mistaken for Bubbe the Love Sponge
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-10039-100x100.png\")
@NoWireHangers: Advantage: You certainly get to stick it to the airlines by using more fuel to cart your arse to and fro.
Disadvantage: Adult-onset diabetes.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-60778-100x100.png\")
@PlayerX: ROFLCOPTER!!!
ADVANTAGE: Drought and Famine Resistant.
DISADVANTAGE: Actually considering the purchase of one of these.
@PlayerX: AHAHAHA THANK YOU FOR THAT GUYS....this made my day....milk carton one is my favorite....
Advantage: You might survive the longest if stuck on an island with no food.
Disadvantage: You will be the first one to get eaten.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-346324-100x100.png\")
@NoWireHangers: Advantage: Babies and small children find you easily approachable.
Disadvantege: Odds of producing your own have greatly declined.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-68654-100x100.png\")
@NoWireHangers:
Advantage: extra cushion for extra comfort
Disadvantage: you misplaced your comfort wipe & have a gnawing suspicion that it's still down there somewhere.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-38607-100x100.png\")
Advantages: You can drink more beer without passing out.
Disadvantages: You drink more beer
@midwestkel: Alcohol of any stripe is expensive. I maintain a low alcohol tolerance for precisely this reason - it costs me $20 less than my friends to get a decent buzz.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-55114-100x100.png\")
I did the same with cigarettes. Never wanted to get hooked, but I would smoke one about once or twice a year when I was younger. I would get BUZZED on half of one.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-738820-100x100.png\")
Advantage: You may be mistaken for a celebrity.
Disadvantage: You may be mistaken for Kirstie Alley.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-16563-100x100.png\")
@NoWireHangers:
Advantage: Visiting Sumo coaches eye you appreciatively
Disadvantage: Argentinian Andes jet crash survivors eye you appreciatively
@Don't take anything aaron8301 says seriously:
Advantage: People don't harass you at bars, and tone down their road rage.
Disadvantage: You can't see the hooker over your protruding gut.
\"Extends your reach a full 18 inches!\"
Great for when your torso spontaniously extends over a foot in length.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-63570-100x100.png\")
\"Extends your reach a full 18 inches!\"
\"also great for wiping stinky old grandpa or other people you don't want to get close to!\"
@The Cheat: Or for when you're forced to wipe someone else's bum (like your elderly grandmother) but have always wished you didn't have to get so up close and personal with their business.
This is obviously a product people who live alone and don't ever have company. Who wants to explain what the odd device in the bathroom is for? Yes, let's show everyone your asswipe stick. And also intended for individuals. I mean, who would want to share something that has come anywhere near someone else's butthole? Each member of the family would have to have their own, which would open up the market for the poop-stick caddy. Think like toothbrushes. But then you'd still want to make sure they don't touch.
What's even more disturbing is the thought that someone wouldn't mind sharing one.
@MedicallyNeedy: Don't forget to fill the bottom with some \"barbercide\" or whatever that blue-green stuff is that barbers put combs in.
@diasdiem: Oh my god this was so funny I thought I was going to die laughing. Sharing your ass-wipe stick would be worse than sharing a tooth brush.
Also - the best innovation in toilet paper since the 1880s? Baby wipes. Ask any mother. Poop, chocolate, dirt, food. They get it all.
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-461138-100x100.png\")
@Vanilla5: After I had my son I discovered 101 handy uses for baby wipes. I love them! My kid is eight years old and I still have a box of baby wipes in almost every room. I use the unscented ones to take my makeup off at night. I keep a box in the car for wiping dirty kids hands (and grown ups too) while on the go. Run one over the short haired dog when he's shedding and tons of fur and dust/dirt comes off. Spot clean the bathroom with them (wipe down the counters or the seat). Clean sneakers and leather shoes with them. Wipe out the kid's lunchbox with them. I clean my car's interior with them (dashboard, doors, cupholders). They're the best invention ever.
@Vanilla5: Somehow, I don't think they had two-ply, quilted rolls of TP in the 1880's. Or perhaps the Comfort Grip makes 1-ply sandpaper a pleasure to wipe with!
So what *are* the advantages of being a \"large guy\"?
Best technical innovation since the 1880's? Was that before or after the bidet was invented? Of course, it's a matter of opinion whether it's better to wipe yourself with a stick or get cleaned off by a jet of water squirting at your ass.
The Best Technical Innovation of All Time, of course, still goes to sliced bread (1928) Which will also probably work in a pinch. When you pinch... a loaf. Or something.
@diasdiem:
This thing was invented by the Romans: sea sponge on a stick.
Can't wait till they make the spinning/vibrating Comfort Wipe for extra cleaning power. Now THAT would be an invention!
@Smashville: actually it was Lisa Simpson that said that during the future view of her being obese....oh man i just became \"that\" comic book guy....
@Mark Weaver: \"but Aquaman, you cannot marry a women without gills, you're from two different worlds!....oh I've wasted my life\"-Comic Book Guy
@Mark Weaver: Oh I think it was the one where she said \"Get me my reachin' stick\" or something similar to that.
Love the Simpsons!
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-68598-100x100.png\")
@Mark Weaver: You're thinking of \"Wesley, get Mama's pryin' bar\".
@Donathius: It was from the golden age of the Simpsons, don't feel ashamed!
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-81067-100x100.png\")
@Mark Weaver: Nope, it was Bart in a flash forward/fantasy when Homer was trying to get on disability for \"Hyper Obesity.\"
Bart - \"I wanna be a lardo on workman's comp, just like dad.\"
Big fat Bart (speaking with a faux southern accent and surrounded by reporters) - \"I wash myself with a rag on a stick.\"
I am so sad that I know this sequence in such great detail.
seriously? I mean, seriously? This is for real?
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-871030-100x100.png\")
@rallyfanche: Someone above said little people sometimes need stuff like this, because their arms are so short. Also, the disabled. So, yes, it is.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-104054-100x100.png\")
Is it just me or is the bend going the wrong way? It looks to me like you have to stick your hand in the toilet or there abouts to get this thing in the proper position.
May buy one just to see...
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-389492-100x100.png\")
@traeblain: yeah, that definitely occurred to me. but then i was more concerned about after you learn to use it with the bend the wrong way - what do you do out in public places? does anyone carry this around? if i see someone with a blue handle sticking out of their purse anytime soon it's going to be on my mind
Man, I won't even have a toilet brush in my bathroom, there's no way I'm hanging an asswipe stick off the side of the toilet.
... come to think of it, this actually looks a lot like the gizmo I have that uses disposable sponges to clean the toilet. The one I bought because I don't want a toilet brush.
@CumaeanSibyl: You especially wouldn't want to hang it on the side of the toilet if you did have a toilet brush, lest you confuse the two.
I can't even imagine how this thing could work at all. \"Dirty toilet paper..\" Unless you're picking it out of the trash can and recycling, or do the Sheryl Crow \"one square\" technique, toilet paper is clean.
This won't sell. Get \"Billy Mays here\" and he'd make it sell like all the useless stuff he manages to make big sellers.
@Mr-Mr: Yeah, they need that Billy Mays in your face sales spiel. Otherwise this thing is a terrible failure despite the fact that it may be worst $20 + S/H that anyone might decide to spend.
@Mr-Mr: You know I've never seen or heard Billy Mays, but get the gist from reading comments here.
That said, if Billy Mays demoes the Butt-Stick on HDTV, I'd condescend to watch.
Does this mean the Muslims can now eat with both hands?????
@bigmac12: This does eliminate the unclean hand thing. WHO may want to buy and distribute a shitload (no pun intended of course) of these to individuals in countries with substandard hygiene practices to help slow down the swine flu pandemic.
Also, you'd be doing our U.S. troops overseas a big favor by shipping the bulk of these to Iraq and Afghanistan. If those Muslims don't want to wipe their asses with with the aid of one of these, then our soldiers can employ them as a non-lethal weapon and use them to beat the enemy over the head.
@Righteous: Actually, countries with substandard hygeine practices can't afford the toilet paper to attatch to the end of this thing, so you would effectively be sending them a shitload of plastic sticks. Instead of food or potable water. Also, swine flu does not spread through fecal matter like e. coli , as far as I know. It is more spread through coughing, sneezing, wiping your nose and then touching a doorknob, etc.
My big pet peeve about this hygeine area is that American toilet paper is bleached. Seems awfully wasteful (both in $ and environmental impact) to make something perfectly white when its primary intended use is to be smeared with poo and thrown away.
Just sayin'.
@Righteous: no beating required - just explain what they are used for and wave them in front of you as you advance. [and be wearing body armor - bullets don't care]
And if you order in the next 10 minutes, we'll double the offer!
@runchadrun: oh! but if i call in the next hour, will they throw in a shamwow? the ultimate combination - an asswiper with all-in-one reuseable wipe that washes, dries & polishes.'
i'm totally sold.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-103994-100x100.png\")
You know when I hurt my back, I REALLY did not look forward to going to the bathroom since the slight twist to wipe my butt hurt like.... ugh, well very much.
My back is fine right now so I would not be interested in this, but if my back goes out again - I will be searching & buying this very quickly.
@coan_net:
I can't figure out how you could hurt your back such that wiping would be any worse than getting on and off the toilet.
@TechnoDestructo: Trust us, and be very very glad that you can't figure it out.
And believe me, getting on and off the toilet is no fun, either; it's pretty damn humbling to need help with something like that when you're not even 40 yet.
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-497569-100x100.png\")
Face it, this is for the obese who just can't reach back there.
@Sarcastikate: My mom was once almost 300 pounds and had no trouble wiping her tush. (Thankfully she lost 100 pounds a few years ago, for her health's sake.)
I think someone would have to be super morbidly obese (the medical categories are obese, morbidly obese, and super morbidly obese, if I recall correctly) to not be able to reach back there to wipe. Or perhaps have back problems that prevent twisting and turning?
I suspect that in addition to super morbidly obese, this is also marketed towards the elderly, who might have trouble reaching due to back problems, hip problems or motor function problems.
@Julia789: Thankfully I've never had conversations with my mom that would grant me such information about her toilet skills.
@henrygates: I never discussed butt wiping with her (nor have I observed), but she was always a very clean and hygienic woman, always showered, powdered, and fresh.
I think if someone is not physically able to wipe their tush, their family members would be \"aware\" whether they wanted to be aware or not. The person would be stinky. ;-)
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-865061-100x100.png\")
@henrygates: One of the glorious days in any parent's life is the day when--aside from the occasional \"who forgot to replace the TP!?!?\"--you need no longer be involved in anyone else's toileting activities, and vice versa.
@Sarcastikate: My mom was a pretty heavy lady before she passed away (5'9\", 315 or so) and she had NO problem with this task. (She was one of those moms who would make you stand in the doorway, ajar, and talk to her if she had something she really needed to say.)
Maybe heavier than 315, but still...shift the hip, reach on back.
That platinum blonde woman was talking about the dignity of NOT having someone else wipe her ass! Is ass-wiping an actual job? What are the qualifications and where do these people advertise?
That plastic stick must need to be sanitized often, which is at least as icky as wiping your own ass. Especially the moving parts like the paper grabber. Blech.
@Shoelace: Yes. It is. Ask any LPN - licensed practical nurse, any home health aide, anyone who's an aide to elderly persons with physical disabilities, dementia, whatever. I don't think this item is meant to be used when someone is assisting the patient, it's meant to extend some independence to people whose mobility is limited but if they had this device would be able to continue doing this sensitive function without assistance - and thus continue to maintain at least that part of their dignity and self-respect as long as possible.
All of you who are laughing about this are very fortunate never to have encountered anyone who may need such a device, and I hope you never have to learn about such things at first hand. I didn't think the headline was funny because I immediately thought of my Dad, may he rest in peace, who weighed about 133 lbs when he died (at 5'7\"), but whose mobility had been hampered for decades by Parkinsons', arthritis, and in later years, simply by old age. We never needed this type of device for him, but over time we learned about just about every product devised to help people with limited mobility extend their independence.
There are products that help you hold a fork with the proper weight balance so it doesn't fly all around but can be navigated from plate to mouth, use a knife, push food to the edge of a plate without spilling it, drink from a cup even if your neck muscles are weak (a common Parkinsons' effect), turn the knob on a faucet, turn a doorknob, switch on a light, pull up your socks or pantyhose, button your shirt, hold a pen steady, and on and on. In the context of the hundreds (maybe thousands) of assistive devices available on the market, this seems a lot less strange than it might at first glance.
@Shoelace: it definitely is and in some states the job is government funded. in my line of work i speak to a lot of people who are partially or mostly paralyzed.
@Shoelace: I'm a social worker, and I started out in the field as a personal care worker in a group home. \"Ass wiper\" was how I described my job for several years, and lots of my coworkers did too! Frankly it was the easiest way to describe that job to random people who asked what I did.
@Emma777: I hope you were paid well! As someone with hands-on experience...would you have used the Comfort Wipe if it had been available?
@Shoelace: i could've sworn i saw that woman walking around darien or new canaan (CT) last time i was down there.
& yes, they most certainly have asswipes down there.
So, they say we don't have to crumple or fold our toilet paper anymore, but then show that you have to fold toilet paper to put it on the stick?
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-1067698-100x100.png\")
Grody... where would you keep this thing when you're done using it? Hang it on the wall next to the toilet? If I ever walked into a bathroom and saw this thing hanging next to the toilet I would leave promptly.
The perfect gift for that colleague who always acts as though he's got a stick up his...
What the hell?!?! COME ON!!!! This can't be!?!?!
I can see germaphobes using this. Reminds me of the lady who was on that show Obsessed the other night who was terrified of ... number 2. Couldn't even look at it. Couldn't even THINK about it!
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-716547-100x100.png\")
This seems like a product from the mind of The Onion.
Looks like another great cure in search of a disease. Does it come with a shower brush attachment?
@H3ion: No, that's called Big Pharma. Hence their drugs for restless legs syndrome and that new one, Latisse, to make your eyelashes thicker at the expense of permanently ruining your vision.
This reminds me of the SNL sketch where Christopher Walken is interviewing a centaur for a job, and asks him how he wipes himself.
hey, one of my girlfriends owns a washlet. she says it's awesome.
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-1161-100x100.png\")
Toilet paper is really archaic.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-79689-100x100.png\")
HI BILLY MAYS HERE WITH COMFORT GRIP!
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-358755-100x100.png\")
I SOOOOOOOOO want the Washlet! That is just awesome! Just not sure if I will ever get off the toilet. But I might get off on the toilet!
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-117674-100x100.png\")
You don't have to get a Toto washlet, they start around $1500. We bought a Clean touch ([www.cleantouch.ca]) at home depot for $400 a year ago.
@Omniboy: Imported Asian Toto toilets here (sitters, not squatters) + matching washlets to boot. Many of the other-brand washlets just aren't comfortable. Heated water is a must for my tush, as is control. I don't want one of these things shooting up through the ceiling. Some of the more expensive off-brands aren't bad 'though.
But once you've used one, there's no going back to TP.
New product idea: Washlet-on-a-stick!
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-851357-100x100.png\")
Make it out of titanium and cover it with those heat tiles they use on the shuttle and I might find that useful.
Since you brought it up, I'm going to have to see a Consumer Reports testing lab video of the Washlet in action. I'm particularly interested in seeing its \"happiness\" rating.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-488475-100x100.png\")
Being at work sucks because I can't click on that link. Now I'm dying to see what the hell this thing is!
New practical joke to play on your groggy, drunk, or hungover roommates: Replace their poop-stick with a toilet brush.
Or: saw halfway through the handle.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-65904-100x100.png\")
Advantages to being a big guy? Hmmmm.....
-double seat in the theater
and.....
I got nothin.
BTW, great product if you've got a disability. Theyr'e bilking people, though.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-271889-100x100.png\")
Jacksfilms is going to have a freaking HEYDAY with that one.
I personally can not wait.
\"It's as easy to use as a shower brush!\"
Just don't mistake your shower brush for the comfort wipe ...
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-1055216-100x100.png\")
@keyz: And you also get! a shower brush head, toilet brush head, shower glass door squeegee head, paint scraper head....
We have two Washlets installed over Ventex ([www.ventextoilet.com]) odourless toilets.
Even the Grand Wailea in Maui ([www.grandwailea.com]) is the dark ages compared to home.
Why didn't they market this thing as the Tush Tickler instead? I'm sure it would have been a big hit with the back door barons that lead \"alternative\" lifestyles.
Also, tell me that wet, diarrhea soaked TP isn't going to stick causing the user to manually override the auto-release system???
I have to be a nerd here. This idea is thousands of years old. The Romans called it a spongeum. In the army it was basically a loofa on a stick that a decade (10 guys) would share for ass wiping. While they recognized that getting crap on your hand was not healthy they didn't seem to have a problem with the sharing part.
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-21380-100x100.png\")
@donovanr: Well, I suppose (as gross as it sounds) that sharing a sponge with 10 other guys was still a hell of a lot better than using your own hand. (Which of course is the reason why most cultures shake with the right hand and not the left).
@☠Grяrяrяrяrя sings the doom song now!:
I'd rather use my hand than wipe after 30 other people with the same sponge!
BTW nice avatar. I have some shoes with GIR on them. :)
@HogwartsAlum: Invader Zim rules!
You know, thinking about it, neither of those options sound pleasant at all.
Starting now, I'm going to stop taking toilet-paper for granted.
@☠Grяrяrяrяrя sings the doom song now!:
Doom doom da-doom doom doom dooooooom!
Hee hee! Although I can't watch it because it's not on any channel I can find anymore. :P
When I went camping once, I had to use leaves. That was kind of...well, weird. No they weren't poison ivy either. That was the first thing I learned in Girl Scouts - how to tell what poison ivy looked like!
Just use the three sea shells.
LOL,
\"tired of scrunching or folding toilet paper\"....well you did put a folded toilet paper of the stick
\"Think about it...toilet paper is disgusting, the 'stick' is a modern solution\"....your saying toilet paper is disgusting then why are you putting it on a stick.
this video fails to get the message out..WIPING WITH YOUR HANDS IS DISGUSTING, USE A STICK WITH TOILET PAPER ON IT TO WIPE UR BUM.
I dare anyone to just listen and not watch the video and tell me what you get out of it
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-188304-100x100.png\")
Being fat has advantages? What the hell is he talking about? I mean no offense, im being serious.
Also 18 inches of reach...wtf? Who would use this?
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-273764-100x100.png\")
They should add a wii-mote to the handle - and a 'dirt' sensor program for wii fitness. Your tv could give you your cleanliness score and track progress.
Just...eww.
this product looks interesting... isn't it more convenient to have a toilet that will wash your bVtt h0le and dry it? wait, this kind of toilet is already available. I have used this kind of paper free toilet before. \"look mom, I took a dump and did not wipe my behind!!!\"
Bidets. Much more sanitary.
That is all.
I prefer the three sea shells.
And you also get! a shower brush head, toilet brush head, shower glass door squeegee heads, paint scraper head....
Wow. Did anybody ever see that guy with Documentary with the man (Greg Valentino) with the biggest arms in the world? I take it he probably needed one of these to get that extra reach.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-207322-100x100.png\")
@Waverly V Phillips:
The documentary you're talking about is Bigger, Faster, Stronger and, yes, I'm sure this guy has something similar if not a bidet.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-550329-100x100.png\")
Was this invented by the cock bib guy?
I love when non-disabled people are like \"LOL why would people need *insert item that can help people*?! Anyone who uses this is LAZY!\"
Yeah. Everyone, I bet.
How come they are not showing them using it. I want to see the fat ass using it. I have a fat ass and if it works. I can put on in my 2 bathrooms. This way I can fire the 2 migit that cleans my ass.
This stick looks crappy. Sorry for the pun.
The washlet looks amazing.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-181878-100x100.png\")
no....nnononononono...NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
How the fuck are you gonna go into the public restrooms with that thing. ON TOP OF THE FACT that you would have to leave with it after, ugh, \"using\" it.
I hate humanity.
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-21970-100x100.png\")
I for one think this is a great idea. I just wish they'd put wrist straps on them because I keep leaving mine all over town.
A couple of issues here:
I seriously doubt you will get superb cleaning action...leaving minimal soil behind..there is nothing like the hand.
Also, I can totally see this thing getting misused by some.
My co-worker doubts that after the wipe, the tissue will release that easy from the 'wand'.
I guess on the bright side...no more poop finger.
Dumbest....thing....ever...
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-371213-100x100.png\")
Wow, Washlet!
Wonder if it's pronounced 'WASH-lay' like bidet.... or 'WASH-let' like toilet?
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-132529-100x100.png\")
Why haven't they gone the extra mile and gotten rid of the toilet paper and replaced it with a sleeve of moist material to put over the end of the Comfort Wipe? Kind of like a mitten--we could call them Shittens(tm).
Scratch that. Anyone who invents something like this could just invent the colon-vac. Why even have a toilet? Just put the patented, curved vacuum attachment into your stimulus package and gently remove last night's pizza without ever having a need to wipe afterwards.
I always told my family to shoot me if there ever came a time I couldn't wipe my own ass. Now I guess they won't ever have to.
There's always the robotic nozzle thing from Toto...
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-177102-100x100.png\")
I was stationed in Qatar for three months in 2004. Next to all their toilets they had hand held douches, even in the outhouse-style bathrooms built for the military. In one bathroom, somebody had scribbled onto the device \"hey Americans, this is for you to keep the skid marks out of your underwear.\"
Clever Qatarese.
Toilet paper is gross! Who just wipes their hands clean? No one! You wash your hands with soap & water for a reason. Yet, Americans are more than happy to defecate and just wipe it with dry paper, yet that's arguably the dirtiest part of the human body!
I am wondering if I can return this for a full refund if it does not \"do the job\" satisfactorily?
Is there a travel version?
That \"Get a Grip\" add-on product looks like the tile lifter we had in our machine room at my first job...
Once every few years, I manage to injure my lower back. It's not permanent, but for several weeks, there's a high degree of discomfort involved, and certain motions (ahem) present very painful logistical problems. At times like these, this type of device could really be useful.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-55946-100x100.png\")
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-298926-100x100.png\")
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-248249-100x100.png\")
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-159178-100x100.png\")
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-483565-100x100.png\")
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-17616-100x100.png\")
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-684304-100x100.png\")
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-608126-100x100.png\")
![\"user-pic\"](\"/mt-static/support/assets_c/userpics/userpic-917643-100x100.png\")
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-27305-100x100.png\")
\"I wash myself with a rag on a stick.\" - Bart Simpson
@Smashville:
At first I thought it was Lisa too, but here's the evidence:
Ignore the anti-American comments in the summary. They're just jealous of our general nonstop kickassitude.
@Smashville: Funny, I think I remember in one of my college history classes that that's how they wiped in Ancient Rome in public toilets. There was always a guy selling wet sponges on sticks.
@Smashville: damnit! beat me to the punch!