This Court is not aware of, nor has Plaintiff alleged the existence of, any actual fruit referred to as a "crunchberry." Furthermore, the "Crunchberries" depicted on the [box] are round, crunchy, brightly-colored cereal balls, and the [box] clearly states both that the Product contains "sweetened corn & oat cereal" and that the cereal is "enlarged to show texture." Thus, a reasonable consumer would not be deceived into believing that the Product in the instant case contained a fruit that does not exist. . . . So far as this Court has been made aware, there is no such fruit growing in the wild or occurring naturally in any part of the world.
According to Lowering the Bar, the blog that reported this decision, this isn't even the first time someone has done this:
Judge England also noted another federal court had "previously rejected substantially similar claims directed against the packaging of Fruit Loops [sic] cereal, and brought by these same Plaintiff attorneys." He found that their attack on "Crunchberries" should fare no better than their prior claims that "Froot Loops" did not contain real froot.
"Reasonable Consumer Would Know "Crunchberries" Are Not Real, Judge Rules" [Lowering the Bar] (Thanks to YourTechSupport!)
]]>Personally, I wonder about the intelligence of any parent who would feed that sort of crap to their children. There are plenty of cereals and other breakfast foods readily available that are actually good for kids, and they're no more expensive than sugar cereals. Otherwise, you might as well just feed them a bowl full of milk duds steeped in pancake syrup.
]]>@Front_Towards_Enemy: But the shell is the best part. I like to call it the crunchy part.
]]>@Canino:
well played
@Yamunation:
Two words: Ambulance chasers.
@Adrienne Willis: Because they provide cheap entertainment.
]]>THE WORLD IS A LIE!!
]]>Does it contain electrolytes? I love me some cereal w/ electrolytes.
]]>This is why I stick strictly to Boo and Frankens.
]]>Blue Lobsters are actually blue. But you don't eat the shell so it does not qualify.
]]>"Blueberries" are PURPLE-RED in color when you see them on the tree/bush OUTSIDE. They might look blue to your in the market because of the Fluorescent lighting.
]]>I'm waiting for the Oompaa-Loompaas to show up and start singing.
Oompaa-loompaa, doomitty didiot.
If you think crunchberries are real, you're a real big idiot...
It's folks like this that make me understand why there is a warning on your hairdryer that instructs you not to us it in the shower.
Seriously people... Come on.
]]>He found that their attack on "Crunchberries" should fare no better than their prior claims that "Froot Loops" did not contain real froot.
I see what you did there...
]]>Oh, it's June 5th? This is a true story? I just...I have no words...
]]>I think they contain real froot, just not real fruit.
]]>I hope this person didn't have the same misconception about dingle berries.
]]>Absolutely Brilliant! The BEST comment on this story by FAR! How the 'ell did you find that 'nutritional' value on this ?
COmedy!
]]>@halah: Good thing I didn't have a mouthful of coffee when I read that! Definetely worthy of a Class A Beverage Alert.
]]>@youbastid: Actually they don't. I watched an episode of Food Detectives on Food Network and everything except the blue on blue crabs were a veriation of purple, including blue berries, blue corn, and blue potatoes. They didn't test blue lobster though.
]]>Insert obligatory "Girl Scout Cookie" joke here.
On another tangent, "baby cut carrots" are not baby carrots - they're carrots cut down so you'll think they're a premium product.
]]>Actually there was...his name was Ettore Boiardi. The guys in marketing changed the spelling...
]]>I'm going to go check right now..
]]>/ But I do like me some Basic 4
]]>nce it was the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of California, I'm guessing that this is the same 'Janine Sugawara':
[www.imdb.com]
[www.linkedin.com]
A casting associate for such great films like 'xXx: State of the Union' and 'Ten Inch Hero'. Jeez she sounds like she works for porn films, but somehow that's not the case!
Her last job was as a casting associate for 'Rise' in 2007, so looks like the job market was slow. What perfect time to try and sue someone for money!
]]>You have to remember: in a lawsuit, there's always going to be the one who gets it totally wrong...but the other guy is going to get it totally right.
]]>i put all my faith in the intelligence of humanity in the single sentence: "what time is the 3 o'clock parade?" [which is to say - not much, en masse]
]]>@MinervaAutolycus: +1. Yeah, because if the truth about Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy don't kill her, finding out about Soylent Green is going to put a real damper on her day.
]]>@silver-bolt: You get a pass.
]]>@Eyebrows McGee (now with more baby!): Those are purple too.
]]>"This donut has purple stuff in it... purple is a fruit..."
]]>Oh, and that TGI Friday's new "Snake N' Broc" appetizer does contain real snake!
]]>Who the hell is going to buy all these bottles of whiz i've been saving?
]]>I am imagining purse cattle - the ultimate pet and recyclable durable leather good in one.
]]>OK, let's see.....a woman goes to a lawyer, explains her case, lawyer actually decides to take said case, court actually decides to hear said case --- as my mom would say...the whole country is just going to hell in a handbasket (I don't pretend to know what a handbasket actually is).
]]>Oh I love that stuff.
One time I made one and there was no red food coloring at the store so I had to use green. It was AWESOME looking.
]]>ROTFLMAO!!
Brilliant!
@ShadowFalls: I love you for that. It's so good on so many levels.
]]>Before I knew what happened, I heard myself say "Yeah, they're really loud, too."
]]>My wingnut-solo-practitioner-dar is going off.
]]>Oh no. I am starting to suspect that Honeycomb cereal isn't made up of actual honeycombs. And that Frankenberries might not be berries! And all this time I avoided Fruity Pebbles becauise I had a feeling that, even if they were fruity, it might not be good for my teeth to eat pebbles.
I'll just eat Cookie Crisp from now on, since at least they are more honest about their ingredients.
]]>Here's a preview of the court case, quoted from the British sitcom, "The Vicar of Dibley":
Alice: You know that stuff they're selling now at the local shop?
Geraldine:Which stuff?
Alice: "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter".
Geraldine:Oh yes
Alice: Well, I can't believe it's not butter.
Geraldine: Yeah, well I believe that is the idea, yeah.
Alice: Then yesterday, I went to Crookenden and I bought this other stuff, like a sort of home-brand, you know?
Geraldine: Yes...
Alice: And you know, I can't believe it's not "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter".
Geraldine: Mmm. I'm losing you now.
Alice: Well, you know "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter"?
Geraldine: Yeah, you think it is butter.
Alice: No no, I mean you know the stuff that I can't believe is not butter is called "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter".
Geraldine: Probably, yeah, yeah.
Alice: Well I can't believe the stuff that is not "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" is not "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter", and I can't believe that both "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" and the stuff that I can't believe is not "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" are both, in fact, not butter. And I believe they both might be butter, in a cunning disguise. And in fact there's a lot more butter around than we all thought there was.
Geraldine: Yeah. You see, I don't know what you're talking about.
I was going to file a lawsuit regarding dingleberries!
]]>@Hepcephus: This is the best I could find for Dingleberry Nutritionaly Info:
2. Some lawyers provide the best argument for closing about half of our law schools and requiring remedial head slapping in the remainder.
]]>@youbastid: Blue lobsters and crabs don't count. The part you eat is white.
]]>You'd think they would be all over it, what with the tiny little cows the size of shnauzers.
The only thing I was wondering about Crunchberries, is what mix of natural flavors is in there, or is it all artificial?
I mean, I understand there is no such thing as a "Crunch Berry", unlike the person in the lawsuit, but maybe a description of different flavors besides Blue, Yellow, Red, etc.
]]>"...they are pale greenish at first, then reddish-purple, and finally blue on ripening."
]]>Sure words can explain this, but as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words. Here is that picture:
]]>Personally I prefer maiden oil, but I digress....
]]>best comment, period.
]]>God, it smokes my goat.
]]>@pecan 3.14159265: I guess they assume you always eat sweet fruits, crunchy nuts, and grains with your morning serving of milk...
]]>@korybing: Don't forget the sin that is Johnson's Baby Oil
]]>@LilBadKitty: Personal Rule #2 - Proof read your comments, fool. I am fully aware that there should be no apostrophe in "manufacturers".
]]>Now you're being Elitist--and being an Elitist in the US these days is not PC, since we seem to be trying to glorify the common, not the exceptional.
]]>@Kaellorian: I with you. Lawyers already have a bad name. This just makes it worse. I wish sanctions were used more frequently for situations like this. Judges don't issue sanctions nearly enough. Hell, even if they get overturned on appeal, that lawyer still has to fight it. Perhaps it will teach him/her to think twice about filing frivolous suits.
]]>@Applekid: @TheWillow: Personal Rule #1 - If the manufacturer's have to actually use the word "food" or "drink" to describe the product, don't touch it.
]]>Dude, blueberries are purple. Think of the color they leave behind on your fingers.
]]>As long as he wasn't doing this on a contingency basis, why not? Her money is just as green as any other client's.
]]>They're not made of real fun either.
]]>Stay classy, San Diego.
]]>@halah: Wait until this year's seasonal BooBerry crop. It'll blow her mind.
]]>@Yamunation: Lawyers who wanted her money.
]]>I can't believe a lawyer took this case on. I'm sure many of his/her peers will join me in grimacing at this lawyer and giving people fuel for the I Hate Lawyers fire.
Fruity pebbles are not rocks. I'm suing.
]]>The text on the box says: A Delicious Blend of Sweet and Tangy Fruits, Crunchy Nuts and a Wholesome Variety of Grains
with the words "delicious," "fruits," "nuts," and "grains," in green.
All I'm seeing is Basic 3.
]]>***thinking of the Simpsons episode where the lawyer was talking about his past cases, where he was suing the makers of "The Never Ending Story".
]]>But the snozberries do taste like snozberries.
I can accept that there are some ignorant people out there, but the bigger insult is that there are lawyers willing to take on a case like this, more than once even. What does it matter if the crunchberries are not real, where is the injury?
]]>"Cancel the crunchberry project! CAN-CEL the CRUNCH-BERRY project!"
]]>(Why is it that Grape-Nuts contains neither grapes nor nuts?)
]]>Wonder who broke her heart by telling her they weren't real.
]]>Next you'll tell me dingleberries aren't high in vitamin C.
]]>They're real to me!
]]>I'll leave you with the first one:
Plaintiff claimed that this message was reinforced by other marketing representing the product as a "combination of Crunch biscuits and colorful red, purple, teal and green berries."
Cause there are so many teal-colored berries out there...
]]>