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Nice!
Nice!
Excellent
Did you at least send it certified w/return receipt, so we know who is responsible for bringing this to the higher ups?
@TheStateOnDVD!_GitEmSteveDave: Also, never underestimate the efficacy of a paw print added to a letter. He's highly respected as well.
The funny thing is, I read the letter in the photo before I scrolled down far enough to see the that the letter was published in full below. Can I blame that on it being Monday?
ditto. It's much better to see it in it's full glory than copy!
at least that's my excuse for the day
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@Andrew Wood: Me too. And I wondered what's up with their printer because is it just me or does the page look like it's got printer artifacts all over it?
@kaceetheconsumer: I read it from the letter, too. It does look like the printer is broken, but then again, so does most of the left side of the website. =)
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Please update us on whether you get any response from them (other than them telling you to shove that turd up your a$$).
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On days like this, Ben, you must love your job.
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Excellent.... thanks for the laugh on this dreary Moanday morning.
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Why is the print all smudgy? Was that on purpose, or are your rollers just dirty, Ben?
Either way, I kind of like it. It's a good effect.
Did you guys purposefully leave out a 0 in the ZIP up there?
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@Kevin Dzierwinski: Does the zip start with a 0? Sometimes people leave off the first 0 and it still gets where it's going.
Way to be a bunch of whiny assholes guys.
@Kevin Dzierwinski: Smash up work, Popken. You deserve all the \"tips\" you get.
WHEN WORDS ARE ON PAPER YOU SHOULD ACTUALLY READ THEM.
@Kevin Dzierwinski: Did you guys purposefully leave out a 0 in the ZIP up there?
I thought the same thing last time I checked my mutual fund statement.
@Kevin Dzierwinski:
Perhaps they have addresses stored in a spreadsheet, and they forgot to change the ZIP field to a text field.
@Cant_stop_the_rock: @Kevin Dzierwinski: I think this letter with all mistakes just reinforces the fact to AIG that the American people are a bunch of uneducated morons.
Thanks Consumerist! : )
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@Kevin Dzierwinski: That kind of stuff used to be caught back when letter writers had secretaries ... excuse me, executive assistants. Now, it's 'do it yourself and use spellcheck', which misses a lot.
@Kevin Dzierwinski: Also, did Apple and Verizon merge and are now some kind of supermega cell phone/computer company called \"Apple Verizon\"?
@mulried: Shhh... Ben's got an advance preproduction model of the iPhone 4G, the first iPhone to be offered on Verizon. Don't tell anyone.
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2 thumbs up... fun family entertainment!!
Printed on nothing but the very best scrap paper your run through the copier when you think the rollers are dirty. Well played.
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The smudges are a classy touch.
Well done, guys.
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I loved the letter, and especially the 401k and secret tradeshow remarks. Well done!
No comma between Apple and Verizon? I don't see one in the image nor in the text copy.
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@DefineStatutory: LOL, Sometimes I think editors just write and never go back and read it even once. (For the record I read this post thrice before submitting)
@DefineStatutory: Cheers to Consumerist just tossing shit out the window half fast!
Great letter - smudging and mistakes.
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For next year's award, I would be happy to provide a real stool sample. You rock, Ben!
AIG has set the bar too high.
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hahaha, that was awesome!
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Bravo! Congratulations to AIG on this well-deserved honor and the Consumerist and its members for picking the \"best\" of the \"best\". I would say they deserve a special additional award to worst raider of pension stock, too. Kudos to one and all!
This is one of the most amateur and awkwardly-worded letters I have ever seen posted on this site. Every sentence could be written better both in terms of grammar and voice. I would really be very disappointed if Ben Popken wrote this. Hell, I would be disappointed if an intern wrote it.
As it stands, this letter is neither funny nor poignant. Might as well have thrown the \"Golden Poo\" through the front office windows - at least then it would have made a statement.
@Trai_Dep: Amen grape and Trai.
@Carso - read my name, it's all about you...really. If you don't like it send your own. Oh wait, that's right, you're not that creative or innovative, knocking someone else down who is is so much easier for you.
@Carso: Odd, I find it both funny and \"poignant\". Really, we're sending them a gilded stool sample, not a cease and decist letter or some other bit of legalese. It's really easy to lob criticisms at someone from the peanut gallery. I'd really love to see your suggestion of what you would find more \"funny and poignant\" for the winner of 'The Worst Company in America' contest.
@Carso:
Agreed. The entire last sentence in the first paragraph needs to be rewritten.
If you're trying to stick it to the man, at least do it with proper grammar and without missing punctuation.
@dripdrop: I'm also surprised Cargo didn't criticise that it wasn't signed with an expensive calligraphy pen... and that the pen pictured wasn't professional enough. Shitron already beat you to the smudges, though Cargo.
@Carso:
I think the thing that bothers me MOST about this letter is that this letter is supposed to be about criticising someone else for doing a terrible job. And then...we fill it with awkward sentences, typos, and missing punctuation. You could stamp a big red FAIL on the picture of the letter and it would work.
ben, you're missing a \"0\" in the ZIP code.
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MY PEN! THAT GUY TOOK MY PEN!
My favorite part is the little tassels on the Golden Poo pillow - they're such a nice, thoughtful touch.
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I demand that captian duval money cat be included in the message
Congratulations! You are the 2009 grand champion in The Consumerist's Worst Company in America contest. In single elimination ladder voting, you bested 15 other contenders, including Comcast, Ticketmaster, Walmart, Citibank, Chrysler, Target, Peanut Corporation of America, HP, T-Mobile, Best Buy, Time Warner Cable, Apple, Verizon, Sprint, Home Depot, AT&T, Chase, Sears, General Motors, United Airlines, US Airways, Capital One, DirecTV and Bank of America. All competitors lay quivering in your wake, much like our 401(k)s.
In declaring you supreme victor, Consumerist readers cited such achievements as \"wrecking the whole economy\" and \"costing American taxpayers untold billions,\" in addition to noting your \"greed\" and \"chutzpah.\" Considering how influential AIG has been in the events of the past year, I can think of no one more deserving than you to receive our prestigious Worst Company in America Award, the Golden Poo. Please consider displaying it at your next secret tradeshow.
On behalf of the staff and readership at Consumerist.com, we salute you.
Took less than two minutes. The difference between amateur and professional is a subtle but important one.
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@Carso: Yeah, professionals get the bonuses and get to screw over taxpayers! Zing!
But really. If you're a professional, you should know that coming across as a know-it-all jerk isn't good for business. If Consumerist wanted you to rewrite their letter (because it might have needed it a little, but that's not the point here) I'm sure they would have had their people call your people.
@Carso: Oh, so it became \"funny and poignant\" when you re-wrote it with better grammar? Guess I missed that part, I thought you were actually going to come up with something on your own that was \"funny and poignant\", not just clean up the original letter.
Clearly this a case of someone having a stick up his ass, and I think it's you Carso.
@grapedog: Let me clarify. I think the entire concept in itself is funny and poignant. I completely credit the Consumerist with coming up with and executing this great idea. But really, the most important part of the whole contest is the letter. If the letter is filled with a distracting amount of awkward phrasing and other errors, it detracts from the message.
When I read through it the first time, the errors jumped out at me as if in bold underlined italics. Your'e right - all I did was clean it up a little bit. I think it makes a world of difference - maybe you disagree. I respect both your right to disagree and your position; it must come down to a matter of taste.
@Carso: \"a matter of taste\".....nice jab there.
I totally agree with you. If I had received a Golden Poo award that had spelling mistakes I would disregard it completely.
Also, they went through probably enough time and money to create and design the Golden Poo so a few more seconds or another 4 rereads should not have been that big of a deal.
Fantastic idea....very sloppy execution.
![\"user-pic\"](\"http://consumerist.com/assets_c/userpics/userpic-901244-100x100.png\")
Great letter.
I would've been satisfied with just \"Hey AIG, the jerk store called...\"
Nice
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Mr. Popken, beautifully written....
I just wish I could also add my signature to that letter.
Did you copy CNN and other news networks on this. Would make for great consumerist publicity and how the many readers of consumerist.com feel about AIG.
and that gold is just too nice of a golden looking poo. I would make it all rusty and copper like or something. I think they're actually getting a nice trophy...enough for them to pawn it to get some cash out of it!!!! >:o[
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I would have added that they beat a company that killed people. That's really an achievement.
did they get the golden poo as well? I'd take that off of your hands ben...you should consider letting it travel between commenters every month or so.
I am certain any executive at AIG who might see this would have to remove their monocle and belt out a hearty, \"Ha ha!\" while rolling around on a pile of gold coins. Their personal servant would then retrieve their top hat while said executive would puff on a cohiba and plot new ways of screwing the little guy out of his money.
now that's the consumerist i know and love
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Hopefully you sent it with some sort of delivery confirmation so we all know they got it and didn't deny it or something.
Or maybe a mini camera with a transmitter so we can all enjoy the looks on their faces as they open the box!
I really really hope you copied all the news networks on this. This really needs to be hyped in the media, do the talk show circuit, etc., and challenge them to appear with you to explain themselves, and heck just to guage their reaction - I mean, Michael Moore would...
I would really love to see some mainstream media coverage behing the Worst Company in America award. It's certainly more amusing (and telling) than the bulk of the human interest stories that make the air.
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That is so awesome... Too bad none of the people who ruined the economy still work at AIG.
Love the dirt, nice touch.
Enjoy your lawsuit. I hear there's a small island in the Pacific Ocean that'll let you pick up the pieces of your shattered life once AIG's lawyers are done with you.
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So is Meg the Executive Editor and your the co? Does she get paid $10 more per week then you as well? I blame the Janitor. He's always out to get you since you put that penny in the door.
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Power to the people!
did anyone actually deal with aig who voted?
i mean honestly, all we know is whats in the news.
what percentage of people even heard of aig before of all this
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Classic.