The Consumerist
101 Truman Ave
Yonkers, NY 10703
70 Pine St,
New York, NY 10005
Dear AIG:
Congratulations! You are the 2009 grand champion in The Consumerist's Worst Company in America contest. In NCAA-style ladder vote-off, you bested 15 other contenders. Comcast, Ticketmaster, Walmart, Citibank, Chrysler, Target, Peanut Corporation of America, HP, T-Mobile, Best Buy, Timewarner Cable, Apple, Verizon, Sprint, Home Depot, AT&T, Chase, Sears, General Motors, United Airlines, US Airways, Capital One, DirecTV and Bank of America, they all lay quivering in your wake, much like our 401(k)s.
In anointing you supreme victor, Consumerist readers cited such achievements of yours as "wrecking the whole economy," and "costing the American tax payer untold billions," and noted both your "greed" and "chutzpah." Considering how influential AIG has been in the events of the past year, I can think of no one more deserving than you to receive our prestigious Worst Company in America Award, the Golden Poo. Please consider displaying it in your booth at your next secret tradeshow.
On behalf of the entire staff at and readers of Consumerist.com, I salute you.
Sincerely,
Ben Popken
Co-Executive Editor
The Consumerist
Power to the people!
]]>ditto. It's much better to see it in it's full glory than copy!
at least that's my excuse for the day
]]>Seriously tho, clean that printer.
]]>But really. If you're a professional, you should know that coming across as a know-it-all jerk isn't good for business. If Consumerist wanted you to rewrite their letter (because it might have needed it a little, but that's not the point here) I'm sure they would have had their people call your people.
]]>So is Meg the Executive Editor and your the co? Does she get paid $10 more per week then you as well? I blame the Janitor. He's always out to get you since you put that penny in the door.
]]>Enjoy your lawsuit. I hear there's a small island in the Pacific Ocean that'll let you pick up the pieces of your shattered life once AIG's lawyers are done with you.
]]>I would really love to see some mainstream media coverage behing the Worst Company in America award. It's certainly more amusing (and telling) than the bulk of the human interest stories that make the air.
]]>@Cant_stop_the_rock: Nope. Manhattan starts with a '1'
]]>@Carso - read my name, it's all about you...really. If you don't like it send your own. Oh wait, that's right, you're not that creative or innovative, knocking someone else down who is is so much easier for you.
]]>Or maybe a mini camera with a transmitter so we can all enjoy the looks on their faces as they open the box!
]]>Way to be a bunch of whiny assholes guys.
]]>WHEN WORDS ARE ON PAPER YOU SHOULD ACTUALLY READ THEM.
]]>and that gold is just too nice of a golden looking poo. I would make it all rusty and copper like or something. I think they're actually getting a nice trophy...enough for them to pawn it to get some cash out of it!!!! >:o[
]]>Mr. Popken, beautifully written....
I just wish I could also add my signature to that letter.
Did you copy CNN and other news networks on this. Would make for great consumerist publicity and how the many readers of consumerist.com feel about AIG.
]]>@Andrew Wood: Yup, got me too.
]]>I totally agree with you. If I had received a Golden Poo award that had spelling mistakes I would disregard it completely.
Also, they went through probably enough time and money to create and design the Golden Poo so a few more seconds or another 4 rereads should not have been that big of a deal.
Fantastic idea....very sloppy execution.
]]>I thought the same thing last time I checked my mutual fund statement.
]]>@grapedog: Let me clarify. I think the entire concept in itself is funny and poignant. I completely credit the Consumerist with coming up with and executing this great idea. But really, the most important part of the whole contest is the letter. If the letter is filled with a distracting amount of awkward phrasing and other errors, it detracts from the message.
When I read through it the first time, the errors jumped out at me as if in bold underlined italics. Your'e right - all I did was clean it up a little bit. I think it makes a world of difference - maybe you disagree. I respect both your right to disagree and your position; it must come down to a matter of taste.
]]>@Carso: Oh, so it became "funny and poignant" when you re-wrote it with better grammar? Guess I missed that part, I thought you were actually going to come up with something on your own that was "funny and poignant", not just clean up the original letter.
Clearly this a case of someone having a stick up his ass, and I think it's you Carso.
]]>Great letter.
I would've been satisfied with just "Hey AIG, the jerk store called..."
]]>Congratulations! You are the 2009 grand champion in The Consumerist's Worst Company in America contest. In single elimination ladder voting, you bested 15 other contenders, including Comcast, Ticketmaster, Walmart, Citibank, Chrysler, Target, Peanut Corporation of America, HP, T-Mobile, Best Buy, Time Warner Cable, Apple, Verizon, Sprint, Home Depot, AT&T, Chase, Sears, General Motors, United Airlines, US Airways, Capital One, DirecTV and Bank of America. All competitors lay quivering in your wake, much like our 401(k)s.
In declaring you supreme victor, Consumerist readers cited such achievements as "wrecking the whole economy" and "costing American taxpayers untold billions," in addition to noting your "greed" and "chutzpah." Considering how influential AIG has been in the events of the past year, I can think of no one more deserving than you to receive our prestigious Worst Company in America Award, the Golden Poo. Please consider displaying it at your next secret tradeshow.
On behalf of the staff and readership at Consumerist.com, we salute you.
Took less than two minutes. The difference between amateur and professional is a subtle but important one.
]]>@Carso: Odd, I find it both funny and "poignant". Really, we're sending them a gilded stool sample, not a cease and decist letter or some other bit of legalese. It's really easy to lob criticisms at someone from the peanut gallery. I'd really love to see your suggestion of what you would find more "funny and poignant" for the winner of 'The Worst Company in America' contest.
]]>Thanks Consumerist! : )
]]>@HogwartsAlum: 5th'd...
]]>Great letter - smudging and mistakes.
]]>Ha ha! I did it too.
]]>Agreed. The entire last sentence in the first paragraph needs to be rewritten.
If you're trying to stick it to the man, at least do it with proper grammar and without missing punctuation.
]]>@FDCPAGuy: that's because they used that comma, and a few others, where they, weren't, needed.
]]>@Carso:
I think the thing that bothers me MOST about this letter is that this letter is supposed to be about criticising someone else for doing a terrible job. And then...we fill it with awkward sentences, typos, and missing punctuation. You could stamp a big red FAIL on the picture of the letter and it would work.
]]>@dmolavi:
No, he's missing a "7". Yonkers and surrounding starts "107xx".
]]>This is one of the most amateur and awkwardly-worded letters I have ever seen posted on this site. Every sentence could be written better both in terms of grammar and voice. I would really be very disappointed if Ben Popken wrote this. Hell, I would be disappointed if an intern wrote it.
As it stands, this letter is neither funny nor poignant. Might as well have thrown the "Golden Poo" through the front office windows - at least then it would have made a statement.
]]>hahaha, that was awesome!
]]>Well done, guys.
]]>Definitely Monday's fault.
]]>2 thumbs up... fun family entertainment!!
]]>Either way, I kind of like it. It's a good effect.
]]>Excellent.... thanks for the laugh on this dreary Moanday morning.
]]>Classic.
]]>