Comments for New Handshakes For The Swine Flu

New Handshakes For The Swine Flu

2009-05-01T22:08:21Z

To help prevent swine flu, here are some new handshakes that minimize direct human contact.

Comment from wcmbk on 2009-05-04

2009-05-04T17:17:45Z

@mrgenius:
I'm sorry, you must be new here.
Do you think the swine flu wanted to be vilified? Its just the drug corporations trying to steal our precious monies. In fact, where did this this start? Mexico.
And whats an anagram for mexico?
Coimex. Leave it two months and I bet you'll see the corporations roll that one out. Dont tell the government though, they're in on it.
*puts on tinfoil hat*

Comment from gerrycomo on 2009-05-03

2009-05-03T22:48:53Z

I have been doing the Roman handshake for years now (grasp each other's forearm), as respectful as the handshake and much more hygienic.

Comment from drb023 on 2009-05-02

2009-05-03T02:51:19Z

as retarded as this is, there are public schools that have "no touching" policies, so kids are required to implement these pinesol moves and forego human contact.

Comment from Zorantor on 2009-05-02

2009-05-02T22:10:18Z

What about, you know... "hello"?

Comment from EdnaLegume on 2009-05-02

2009-05-02T06:19:57Z

@wardawg: LOL stick poking!!!

Comment from TEW on 2009-05-02

2009-05-02T06:15:25Z

@Tmoney02: On average 30,000 Americans people die every year from the regular flu compared with less than 100 deaths from the swine flu. I bet those people wish they had the swine flu.

Comment from strathmeyer on 2009-05-02

2009-05-02T05:53:37Z

@Harry Pothead: I still don't understand why we can't wait to worry until as many people have the swine flu as die from the regular flu in a 24 hour period.

Comment from conquestofbread on 2009-05-01

2009-05-02T02:25:22Z

@redskull:

I think it adds some pizzazz. It makes me feel like I am a robot refering to it that way. :)

It is the distant future.... the year 2000!

Comment from HogwartsAlum on 2009-05-01

2009-05-02T02:22:01Z

Zclyh3
1:48 PM

LOL @ the Wolverine

If you liked that, you'll love this... (Warning - autoplay and kind of gory)

[www.cracked.com]
Cracked.com video - Why Having Wolverine's Claws Would Suck

Comment from veg-o-matic on 2009-05-01

2009-05-02T02:21:47Z

@Rectilinear Propagation: Now I have to go change everything.

"No one will guess infectious diseases" I thought...
"We'll die of H6N4 before H1N1," I thought...
"1918 what? Fool proof protection for all my intertubing," I thought..

Ruined.

Comment from Tmoney02 on 2009-05-01

2009-05-02T02:07:48Z

@Harry Pothead: a little different than the bird flu scare becuase this one has actually made the jump from animal to human and as a bonus apparently has a bit of bird flu in it.

But as far as I can tell it is no different than a nasty version of the flu people get every year. And yet people are freaking out.

Comment from WelcomeToMyWorld on 2009-05-01

2009-05-02T01:46:27Z

Isn't all this hysteria over the Swine Flu getting completely out of control? The TV news stations are going nuts over this, and there's nothing to report.

There's not a single case of Swine Flu in the state of Pennsylvania, but that doesn't stop TV reporters from talking about it incessantly.

Remember the furor over Bird Flu about 5 or 6 years ago? Same thing, different year.

Comment from Anthony Glyadchenko on 2009-05-01

2009-05-02T01:42:55Z

That's super creative.

Comment from Michael Belisle on 2009-05-01

2009-05-02T01:27:47Z

I would like to formally request future installments of Popken Comics.

Comment from WolfBaconFlavorMANGURT_GitEmSteveDave on 2009-05-01

2009-05-02T00:40:44Z

@docrice:

Comment from kaceetheconsumer on 2009-05-01

2009-05-02T00:28:36Z

The appropriate response to being that close to the hotness that is Jackman as Wolverine is to collapse in a pile of twitching orgasma-goo. Probably not workable in a business environment.

Comment from Rectilinear Propagation on 2009-05-01

2009-05-02T00:27:29Z

@conquestofbread: That almost reads like somebody's password.

Comment from zentex on 2009-05-01

2009-05-02T00:21:50Z

much better than your video's ben ;-)

Comment from Trai_Dep on 2009-05-01

2009-05-02T00:20:49Z

Booty-shakes.
I can't think of a single tense social situation that wouldn't be defused with a good, hearty booty-shake.

Comment from redskull on 2009-05-01

2009-05-02T00:10:35Z

@conquestofbread: That name just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?

Comment from redskull on 2009-05-01

2009-05-02T00:09:47Z

@Etoiles: Not a big fan of handshaking either. If that makes me a germaphobic freak, then so be it. How do I know where someone's hand has been?

My other issue with handshaking is the "firm grip syndrome." A man is perceived as weak unless he can apply 400 pounds per square inch of pressure to your outstretched hand. I've literally felt the bones in my hand grinding together during some handshakes.

Comment from docrice on 2009-05-01

2009-05-02T00:06:11Z

@WolfBaconFlavorMANGURT_GitEmSteveDave: kid-in-play?

Comment from conquestofbread on 2009-05-01

2009-05-01T23:47:49Z

@redskull:

Uh, I think you mean H1N1 Influenza A.

Comment from Vanilla5 on 2009-05-01

2009-05-01T23:35:43Z

@conquestofbread: Same. Wide-eyed, no blink means "Get ready! I'm going to chase you!"

Comment from Richard Davalos on 2009-05-01

2009-05-01T23:31:43Z

Why not post the Rick Mercer Report video "shake hands with your elbows" for the upcoming plague years?

Comment from Etoiles on 2009-05-01

2009-05-01T23:22:49Z

@pecan 3.14159265: Handshaking is always unsanitary. And kind of gross. I hate when you're on a job interview, and the hiring manager has clammy or wet hands. Throws you off for the whole thing.

Comment from Corporate-Shill on 2009-05-01

2009-05-01T23:19:05Z

The Air-Five.

High Five that stops in mid-air with no touching.

Comment from mrgenius on 2009-05-01

2009-05-01T23:11:43Z

I blame the OP.

Comment from redskull on 2009-05-01

2009-05-01T23:00:45Z

You forget it's not the swine flu anymore. In order to prevent a panic, the CDC has renamed it "Happy Tickle Fever."

Comment from Zclyh3 on 2009-05-01

2009-05-01T22:48:05Z

LOL @ the Wolverine.

Comment from Canino on 2009-05-01

2009-05-01T22:46:40Z

@pecan 3.14159265: It'll catch on - Obama likes to do it.

Comment from WolfBaconFlavorMANGURT_GitEmSteveDave on 2009-05-01

2009-05-01T22:41:38Z

How about the foot shake. You hop on one foot, each extend the other foot out and bump the side. Then you spin on your head and do "The Worm".

Comment from TheGuinnessTooth on 2009-05-01

2009-05-01T22:29:27Z

@wheresmymind: I read that as "ebonics handshake." My first thought was "I don't remember that move from any of the Friday movies."

Comment from pecan 3.14159265 on 2009-05-01

2009-05-01T22:25:06Z

How about the ol' stinkeye?

Comment from conquestofbread on 2009-05-01

2009-05-01T22:19:26Z

I like the blinking idea.

It is like how I say hi to my cat.

Slow blink means I love you!

Comment from pecan 3.14159265 on 2009-05-01

2009-05-01T22:17:07Z

Bowing is popular in Asian cultures. We could adopt that here.

Comment from wardawg on 2009-05-01

2009-05-01T22:14:22Z

You forgot the "nod of affirmation" and "stick poking."

Comment from wheresmymind on 2009-05-01

2009-05-01T22:14:18Z

In middle school we jokingly did what we called the "Ebola handshake," which consisted of rubbing your elbows together.