Since our physical appearance can obviously be readily determined from an exchange on a message board, you can continue to assume I'm a gigantic fatty unwilling to give up my fast food and smashing all the poor unsuspecting thin people in their generous airline seats for shits and giggles, and I'll continue to picture you in the manner to which you've so far presented yourself; like an asshole.

@Zulujines: Hyperbole is the only coping mechanism the obese have (aside from bear claws). Don't take that away with your sarcasm. How else can they justify weighing 250+ lbs than by saying that 500 lbs is the threshold of unacceptability?

@SlayBelle: I also fly -a lot- and also have a 20+ hour trip coming up, and given my experience in the skies, I'd say that there is a better than 50% chance that those 20 hours will be spent with someone's love handle encroaching on my arm rest. Also, if you fly as much as you say, then I'm sure you're aware that passengers are unable to use their cell phones in flight, an annoyance to which you previously made reference in one of your earlier comments.

I am especially thrilled when massive luggage ends up being placed in the overhead bin above MY (or my partner's) head, rather than the person who owns it. Guess who gets to panic when we hit turbulence? Not them.

Hee! Like they're everywhere. I hardly ever see them in my daily travels, maybe that's because they're all up in the sky, flying in planes and being fat at everyone.

There's lots of different body types. I've sat next to perfectly trim people who can't keep their damn knees closed and are constantly in my space, guys who 'accidentally' find themselves brushing against my breasts, tall people who have their knees jammed essentially into their own guts, and yes, fat people whose fat brushes against me. I've invariably found most of those people who are breaking the personal space bubble to be incredibly apologetic and generally really embarrassed about it, and they try to keep to their own seat as best they can. People who aren't apologetic, who aren't embarrassed, who are totally in their own world happen to be jerks, and those come in all sizes and flavors.

I fly -a lot-. A lot. I have a 22 hour flight coming up this week. I can seriously not recall a single instance where I've flown with --- not next to, just on the same flight -- this mythical 500 pound fat person. I know it happens. I do. I've seen it on tv, I've heard stories about it from my friends. What I have seen are plenty of regular-human being sized fat people who get labeled 'morbidly obese' because they aren't the size that's socially approved of, and they have a hard time fitting in tiny seats because the seats are -- hello! -- freakin tiny!

I'm just so sick of the disgust. Every time someone mentions 'bad airline experience' on this site, everyone goes 'zmog, the fatties!' I'd rather be jammed next to a fat guy for 22 hours than next to someone who needs a bath, or a crazy woman who drinks all the hand soap in the bathroom, or the guy who is clearly such an asshole he has to pop the emergency slide to get where he is going -right- -now-, or the parents who won't even try to keep their children entertained or soothed. I can have sympathy for people in uncomfortable situations. I don't really have much sympathy for people who act like the center of the universe.

I felt awful for the people around me who had to put up with that.

@korybing: Exactly.

When my sister or I pulled that tantrum crap in a Wal-Mart my parents would just pick us up, put us under an arm, abandon their shopping cart and walk out of the store. It inconvenienced them at the time, but we learned pretty quick that we can't get away with that sort of behavior. I can't stand parents who just ignore a screeching tantruming child in public.

There's nothing wrong with being a healthy weight and wishing others were a healthy weight, and I'm sorry, 300+ pounds is rarely healthy for anybody.

@LadySiren: Maybe...Hi Roz! You can take my comment however you want, but overweight people with any empathy would apologize for intruding on other people's space instead of defending their right to be fat.

@Porcelina: Why? Because i made an observation? You're assuming being fat is a bad thing.

@razremytuxbuddy: Ah the Southwest "lounge seating". Great when your significant other sat across from you, evil if you had loud sales guy of the year across from you.

Actually, from an engineering safety stand point, I liked to sit backwards as it is safer in case of a crash. I also liked to annoy my (now ex-) wife by "floating" my arms when the plane was flying at the extreme take off climb angle.

@igotmeajd: "The best (worst) part? That was my first ever flying experience. Thank God the flight there was smooth."

LOL- then you missed the early days of de-regulation- IE- the bus crowd goes flying. My first flight was as an early teen with another teen friend to Florida on People's Express. Even as teens back then we were surpised people were not trying to bring their piglets and chickens on the plane with them.

@Rectilinear Propagation: Exit aisle = more leg room. Often there is even a skip in the three row seats so that there is only two seats at the exit row to clear the door. Then the row behind that row has a window seat without a seat directly infront of it. Win for ultimate leg room- lose on under seat carry on stowage and seat tray (usually the right arm has one that folds into it.)

seatguru et al will explain "prefered seats" well...

@Myownheroine: I knew a road warrior salesman who would protect an empty seat next to him with a pocket sized Bible. When people would ask "Is that seat saved?" his response was "No, but are you?" He said it typically worked but occasionally he would get the too talkative Christian folk sitting next to him...

At another company I worked at I had occasion to travel with a vice president and a quality manager (I was in engineering)- mostly on Southwests open seating. Those two guys would work a good scam to keep a three seat row to them selves. The vp was a white man and the quality manager was a black man- both college educated and very professional- until it came to airline seating. Vp would grab the aisle seat and quality manger would grab the window seat. Quality manager would have brought a bottle of water on with him. He'd immeditately splash his face with the water and grab a puke bag and totally like he was going to be sick- even moaning- this before the plane even shut the cabin doors. The vp would play it up like he was grossed out that the window seat person was going to be sick even throwing subtle head nods "No." to people (white or black) who considered the middle seat in their row. A number of times those two ended up with one of the few free single seats in the plane between their seats.

(I would always sit away from them since I didn't want to chance falling asleep on a co-workers shoulder.)

Losing weight does not require the purchase of any product, and it doesn't mean going hungry. It does mean lower grocery bills. It requires a little education about foods and fitness that can be gotten free if you look for reputable sources, e.g. the extension office, rather than the diet product ads that are everywhere. Losing weight is not a cakewalk, but compared to a life of obesity, it is.

Whenever I carry a 45lb bag of dog food in from the car, I remind myself that that's what a 165lb person carries with them 24/7. And 165 isn't that heavy, depending on the person's height or build. I don't know how they do it. When I see an obese person out walking for exercise, I imagine me carrying that bag of dog food for a mile or two, and I'm extremely respectful of their efforts.

"Liquid Soap Lady": A woman on a United flight allegedly took pills and alcohol, then tried to bite a crew member's leg. She also reportedly drank down the contents of a lavatory's liquid soap dispenser (apparently for its alcohol content). Her explanation to the cops: "I sometimes do crazy things."

Tell my ex-wife I said hello.

And, your step-sister's situation? There's nothing wrong with eating big (within reason) meals and eating everything especially when you are young. I'm from such a family and to this day, I will eat whatever is put in front of me.

However, eating healthy food and getting exercise is important at all ages.

Look, I like feeling strong and healthy. I think most people do. But don't play off losing weight like it some sort of cakewalk and all these fatties flying the friendly skies need to do is layoff the french fries and get on a treadmill when there is mounds and mounds of research to the contrary.

Sitting anywhere near a screaming child turns a bearable flights into a unbearable one.

Maybe we should make guys pay for two seats if they can't keep their shoulders, elbows and knees to themselves.

Did I also mention that I am in the middle of a 5 person row?

It does take discipline, and some time to achieve a certain weight loss goal. However, you start feeling the benefits almost immediately.

*bookmarks*

Apparently beauty pageant girls in that part of the world like guys with waxed eyebrows and fake tans.

Also, anyone remember the Southwest seats that faced each other? That could be fun or a nightmare depending on who you were bumping knees with.

I agree about the screaming kids. I feel bad for the kids with hurting ears, and the ones bored out of their mind because they can't move around and play. But they make the flight miserable for everyone on board. That's a fact.

If you just say "yes," do they shut up?

@Outrun1986:

"The morbidly obese person can obviously afford enough food to keep themselves at that weight, so they should be able to afford 2 airline seats no problem."

Just to let you know, ramen noodles are about 800 calories a package, and one or two packages is enough for a meal, and at 3 meals a day that's up to 4800 calories.

Ramen noodles are among the cheapest food you can get. In general, actually, cheaper food is less healthy; so "obviously affording" is pretty wrong.

I'm just saying that some of us hate it just as much as you do, but being a hardass to us isn't going to solve the problem. Not so much directed at you as others.

Because sometimes the environment you grow up in is quite different from the one another person grows up in. It isn't always a concious decision by an indivdual, and it can be a very hard habit to break.

So yeah, flame me, insult me, whatever. But I've more or less had it with this shit.

FYI, my step-sister, a few years ago (age 7), was among a family that had relatively big meals and would more or less call for their children to eat all of the food on their plate. This is a very bad habit that can start at a very early age, and often there isn't much that someone that young can do about it if they even know; sometimes parents will actually punish children who don't eat everything. This has already been evidenced by her (now a few years older) becoming a bit overweight and tending to snack at random.

That said, I do try to take up as little space as possible and go for asile seats to give others as much room as I can. We're not assholes to you, don't be one to us.

Yeah, but the guy in 15b should be 500 pounds and be pushing the 15a and 15c out of their seats :)

I would PAY to sit within earshot when you said that to the person.

Anyway, obesity has a lot more to do with socio-economic status than people are willing to give credit. You didn't take this stance though, so you're basically just a weight apologist. It's about telling someone that they've paid for a seat, not a seat and a half.

@rioja951: Nice, but unless you had really minty gum, it wouldn't help with B.O. man.

@PappaBear: I mean like, not laying their whole arm over the armrest and getting into your own seat. Or when they're reading, they're not simultaneously punching you in the face with their giant elbows.

I don't think I'm crazy here. Does anybody here enjoy someone's lovehandle sitting in their lap on the plane? Or having to sit as far over to one side so you're not being crowded by someone 200 lbs overweight? I don't personally like that sort of thing, I don't know why I'm being attacked for that...

I used to fly cross country a lot between Seattle and DC. On flight a family from Africa returning home, tried and succeeded to carry on all of their luggage and try to stow them in the overheads. Not that big a deal except this luggage was the hard shell 70s luggage That was tossed around by a gorilla to prove how tough it was. Not designed to be used as carry on. Took em forever to get settled in.
Overhead abuse just drives me nuts.

I hate screaming babies that don't stop during flights; it's because their ears aren't equalizing the pressure properly and it's painful. It isn't fun, but if your baby is sick or congested and you bring it onboard, be prepared for screaming.

@j-o-h-n: My legs cannot retract, sir. Either I bitch at you for assuming I enjoy having my kneecaps in my thighs or I get bitched at for having my legs in my neighbor's space. My solution? When I see that seat start to come back into my legs, I ask the person to remember that there's a passenger behind them. If that doesn't work, I dig my legs into their seat and when they push the button I push that seat RIGHT back up. When they get up, I put it up, too.

People who are that big need to take responsibility for their weight and buy 2 seats on the airline, regardless of airline policies. Documented legitimate medical conditions aside, in this case the second seat should be free. The morbidly obese person can obviously afford enough food to keep themselves at that weight, so they should be able to afford 2 airline seats no problem.

I like to put trash in the seat back pocket. The stewardesses HATE that!

No. Chapelle isn't that funny.

@HIV 2 Elway: I used to fly as an unaccompanied minor as a kid, and while I always behaved, I went through a stretch where takeoff would nauseate me to the point of barfing. Fortunately I always threw up into the barfbag, but I am sure my fellow passengers loved me.

@Kaiser-Machead: Along the lines of the random boisterous laugh, I recently had a woman next who was watching the in-flight movie (I was not). At random intervals, if anything even remotely startling happened, she would scream as if she were watching a horror movie in her living room. The first time she did that I almost spilled my Coke all over myself.

Don't forget the "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as the Lord your Savior" seatmate?

@PappaBear: Lipo pre-flight for an extra fee.

Me - when people bug me I do everything in my power to annoy them twice as much!

I'd have said "Wanna see a magic trick? I'm gonna make this pencil disappear."

Jesus fucking christ. You're packed like sardines into a giant flying box. Sometimes you're gonna get touched by someone else. Its not the end of the world. I can't stand people who talk on their cellphones, center of their own goddamn universe, letting everyone in on their business, when I'm flying, but I don't require that they pay for my bubble of personal space their words slip into.

Seriously, though, overweight people should save everyone the drama and buy two seats. They became fat on their own and I shouldn't have to suffer the consequences.

And I don't care if you have a glandular problem - my 4'11" friend doesn't scream discrimination when the roller coaster doesn't offer booster seats.

@downwithmonstercable: And how does one go about "minimizing spillage"? Just by sheer will to "suck it all in" for the duration of the flight and then let themselve's go once they leave the plane? I think it's a global plot to make you uncomfortable!

@rioja951: All the more reason for the obese to buy two tickets I guess....

God, I know, right? Its like those damn fatties aren't even aware they're fat! Who do they think they are, with their socially unacceptable body sizes and use of mass transportation? Maybe we could petition congress for a new law saying that if your clavicles aren't threatening to rip right through your skin, you shouldn't be allowed to fly. I mean, its not like those seats are sized for everyone, right?

It's a really simple solution people - ear plugs. Or if you prefer, noise canceling headphones. I haven't got on a flight without either or both. Great for screaming babies, annoying conversations, and engine noise.

No kidding, wtf is wrong with you people that cannot understand that you cannot reason with a baby. Yes, sometimes you have to fly with a baby, even when you would rather drive. IT IS A BABY! Complainers are actually bigger babies. Plug in your ipod and close your eyes. The baby is probably crying b/c you either smell or you're ugly. Lastly, the parents hate it a lot more than you do, trust me.

I will see your fully reclined seat d-bag and raise you fully reclined seat c-word who carried on a full volume conversation, in Italian, with her traveling companion... who was sitting in the seat behind me, so she had to twist herself entirely around to yell over my head.

Alitalia, 2006. Gah. I still have fantacies about killing them both.

Your "adequate" is my "TURN THE DAMN HEAT ON," heh.

Ya, but it's pretty cool to sit in row 16 and watch 15B squirm.

But when someone's precious angel 6-year-old is in my personal space? Oh HELL no.

@jenndavo: Ahhh I hate that even more. The people that go on and on pointing out something. I get it. A crying baby. Stop talking about it. You talking about it isn't going to make it better. STFU

@RagingBoehner: What's the mom to expect? If she won't parent her kids, that leaves it to the rest of us.

My girlfriend could be on this list. Ate a full lobster before getting on a flight from EWR to MCI. Threw up no fewer than 12 times on the flight including one right in the middle of the aisle while waiting to get into the bathroom.

Ever hear a boisterous laugh during an overnight flight because someone was watching Dave Chapelle on his iPod?

Crying baby is common everywhere, but at the very least, the baby has the excuse of being uncomfortable when their little ears pop in the cabin pressure. On the ground, baby simply gets into post-fetal a-hole mode. Just kidding, I love kids.

My favorites are couples arguments. Two grown people that don't seem to have the wherewithal to understand that some places are best left free from their quarreling. Just hope that they get too personal with the insults, because then it becomes immensely entertaining.

@1stMarDiv: It's amazing to me how "larger" people have no consideration for their smaller counterparts on planes. They don't even try and make things a little more comfortable for the people next to them. If I weighed 400 pounds I'd be damned sure to try and squeeze my extra self into my seat and minimize any spillage into my neighbor's seat(s).

#11 - Fully reclined seat d-bag.

One flight I sat next to a morbidly obese woman with screeching toddler on lap. She managed to spill her drink on me (as well as spill over the seat area) and her kid hit me in the face. Oh, and we got delayed for leaving the plane by a good half hour for some inane reason, which got the kid super riled up to the point where he started continually trying to climb on things and yell when he was told no. The whole time I was just trying to nap or read, and no go.

This was 2004 or I'd put that up in the running. I hope she and her kid are never topped in my travels.

I almost always end up sitting next to an extremely overweight person on every flight I'm on, and sure enough their fat oozes over into what little space I already have. And then there's the inevitable battle for the armrest, which I usually lose.

Your seat is 15B.

@HIV 2 Elway: #9 - Guy next to screaming baby who doesn't realize that, hey, it's a fucking baby, it screams when it's confused, and spends your entire 3-hour flight complaining about the baby's screaming in carrying tones.

(No, I'm not the parent of the screaming baby. That happened to me on my last flight, though -- both baby and douchebag sat behind me and seemed to be having a screaming contest.)

#7 - Screaming baby.
#8 - Parent of screaming baby.