var json_comments = new Array("
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Darrone
April 21, 2009 6:20 PM
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So if my child eats 8 bowls of frosted mini-wheats, he'll be able to fly, right?

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8 replies
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Tiber
April 21, 2009 7:54 PM
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@Darrone: Why would you think something that stupid? Besides the obvious, how does a boost in intelligence lead to flight?

Mini-wheats make you smarter, so it can only lead to telepathy, or possibly predicting the future. Duh.

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chuck0008
April 22, 2009 4:05 AM
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@Tiber: What about telekenises? Then you could levitate. Close enough to flying. Double duh.

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ovalseven
April 21, 2009 7:32 PM
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@Darrone: Forget flying. Time control is much more fun:


[consumerist.com]

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Veeber
April 21, 2009 6:35 PM
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@Darrone: No, she'll just have really regular bowel movements.

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Keavy_Rain
April 21, 2009 6:50 PM
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@Veeber: As long as I can set my watch to them.

Seriously, did anyone believe that your kid HAD to eat this cereal to do better in school? Hell, eating any sort of breakfast helps you out because you're able to focus on things due to the lack of pain and noise from your stomach.

My parents made sure I ate breakfast every morning and I turned out OK.

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Hyman Decent
April 22, 2009 6:18 AM
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@Keavy_Rain: You turned out O.K.? Pics or it didn't happen.

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dcm684
April 21, 2009 6:35 PM
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@Darrone: No, of course not. He'd have to drink a can of Red Bull.

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CFinWV
April 21, 2009 6:31 PM
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@Darrone: The sugar alone would make him fly!

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katstermonster
April 21, 2009 6:25 PM
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@Darrone: Yes, but if you let him eat 8 bowls of Froot Loops, he'll glow in the dark.

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SuperNatendo
April 21, 2009 6:21 PM
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If you want your child to do better in school then why aren't you more involved in their school-life? Most parents don't even know what goes on in school and expect the Gooberment to regulate it for them.

But that's O.K. because the Gooberment ensures a certain below average economic equilibrium in order to make it too hard for parents to be able to spend time enough away from work to worry about what they are indoctrinating the children with...

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7 replies
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Gorphlog
April 21, 2009 9:37 PM
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@SuperNatendo:

I bet if those parents would cut out non necessities like the cable TV, make due with not eating out, and drive an older model used car instead of having 2 new vehicles in the driveway then I bet one could stay home and spend time with the kids. Also they wouldnt have to spend half of one check just for daycare. But instead we have to have everything even if it causes us to live paycheck to paycheck and not spend time with the kids.

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GuinevereRucker
April 22, 2009 12:14 AM
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@Gorphlog: Well said. Some of the statistics on how long parents spend with their kids each day are appalling.

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pecan 3.14159265
April 21, 2009 8:13 PM
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@SuperNatendo: The key is balance. There's nothing wrong with parents who work, but they must first and foremost be parents and provide intellectual support as well as financial support, in order to provide a good example for their children.

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GuinevereRucker
April 21, 2009 7:11 PM
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@SuperNatendo: I completely agree. Kids need good role models. They need a mother and a father and a healthy home environment. They need their parents to care about them and their education.

Or, take the easy way out and give them a bowl of cereal!

By the way, if you haven't learned already that all advertising is designed only to get you to buy things, read up on advertising techniques. I've learned to disbelieve everything I read on a product label or hear in advertisements before I even read it.

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nybiker
April 22, 2009 1:35 AM
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@GuinevereRucker: I don't know if it's something in the water (I'm in NYC and I was born here, so I've been drinking it all my life) or my parents' influence, but I've been a cynic from my early days. My cynicism is what's made me despise naming rights as well as product tie-ins (the movie and burger/pizza ones are really blatent and very annoying).

I am a just-the-facts person.

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redkamel
April 22, 2009 4:09 AM
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@nybiker: Its not called cynicism! It sounds like you have at least some of the four life skills good parents impart to their children:
1. The ability to see through bullshit, and with it, independent thought
2. The knowledge that people are generally shortsighted.
3. The wisdom to be able to tell good things from bad.
4. The pearl that advertising and TV do not have your best interests in mind.

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HiPwr
April 21, 2009 6:46 PM
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@SuperNatendo: By your logic, those parents that don't bother to hold down a job at all and have plenty of time with the kids should have the smartest children around.

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wildhare
April 21, 2009 6:42 PM
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@SuperNatendo: You must have been raised in the EU to make such a wild intellectually assertive statement.

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unobservant
April 21, 2009 6:23 PM
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So only 1/2 of 11% of children who ate Frosted Mini Wheats got a 20% temporary sugar high resulting in the appearance of attentiveness? Well, why didn't they just say so?

SCIENCE!

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5 replies
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Jfielder
April 21, 2009 8:00 PM
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@unobservant: 60% of the time it works every time!

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oneandone
April 21, 2009 9:01 PM
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@jfielder23: That was my first thought. It's sad how much of a reflex that's become.

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Veeber
April 21, 2009 6:37 PM
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@unobservant: 1/2 of participants showed some improvement. Only 11% of the entire population of participants showed the advertised 20% improvement.

I still have no idea how they measured attentiveness.

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unobservant
April 21, 2009 7:40 PM
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@Veeber: I do.

\"Hey, kid! Yeah, you! Look over here!\"

Making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.

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your creepy uncle
April 21, 2009 6:23 PM
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I appreciate that they signed a consent agreement to stop lying.

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snowburnt
April 21, 2009 6:27 PM
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I hate it when people get nit-picky about ads.

Granted, frosted mini-wheats might not be the best brain food or breakfast food, but the commercial says: If your kid eats breakfast your kid will do better in school. There's numerous reasons for it, when you eat breakfast you're likely to interact more with your family in the morning, also when you eat breakfast it helps your energy levels throughout the day.

Sure, they say it with imagery of the cereal, but who can blame them for pushing their agenda?

They weren't exact on the numbers, for that, shame on you, fix your commercial.

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veg-o-matic
April 21, 2009 7:33 PM
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@snowburnt: No, it's not just using imagery to make the point that \"eating breakfast is good for learning,\" but referencing this particular cereal.

The ads say, specifically:

Kids who had a filling breakfast of Frosted Mini Wheats Cereal improved their attentiveness by nearly 20% when compared to kids who missed out on breakfast

It would be a bit more honest to say it like this:
\"Kids who eat breakfast learn better, and you as a parent will have an easier time luring them into breakfast if it's coated with sugar. Please consider Frosted Mini Wheats for this purpose.\"

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oneandone
April 21, 2009 9:03 PM
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@veg-o-matic: \"Kids who eat breakfast learn better, and you as a parent will have an easier time luring them into breakfast if it's coated with sugar. Please consider Frosted Mini Wheats for this purpose.\"


I would buy that product. And I don't have children. But I like to reward breathtaking honesty in advertisement (and punish the idiots).

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dragonfire81
April 22, 2009 1:37 AM
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@oneandone: This is why I never, never trust \"studies\", \"surveys\" or any other data supplied by a company supporting the effectiveness of a product they're selling.

The first time I saw that ad I said \"obviously kids that eat breakfast will function better than without, it has NOTHING to do with mini wheats\"

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HFC
April 21, 2009 7:59 PM
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@veg-o-matic: Perhaps they were using part of a larger quote.

\"Some of the kids who had a filling breakfast of Frosted Mini Wheats Cereal improved their attentiveness by nearly 20% when compared to kids who missed out on breakfast, although only half of the kids improved in even the slightest way.\"

Turned into:

\"...Kids who had a filling breakfast of Frosted Mini Wheats Cereal improved their attentiveness by nearly 20% when compared to kids who missed out on breakfast...\"

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chrisjames
April 21, 2009 7:22 PM
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@snowburnt: Misrepresenting a formal study is serious business.

If they had left it as \"If your kid eats breakfast your kid will do better in school,\" or even \"If your kid eats Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs your kid will do better in school,\" they might not have earned the FTC's ire. I thought that's all the commercials were, actually. I guess they got ahead of themselves and thought no one would catch on.

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Rectilinear Propagation
April 21, 2009 6:59 PM
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Sure, they say it with imagery of the cereal, but who can blame them for pushing their agenda?

@snowburnt: Apparently the FCC can if they lie in order to do it.

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SybilDisobedience
April 21, 2009 6:38 PM
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@snowburnt: This isn't getting \"nit-picky\". They flat-out lied about the effects of their cereal. If parents hear a study that says their kids will have a leg up on academic achievement by eating Mini-Wheats, of course they're going to buy them. But that's not what the study actually said, and the makers knew it. They readily agreed to stop lying when the FTC called them on it, which indicates they knew all along they were misrepresenting the study results and were just hoping to cash in until they got called on it.

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Crabby Cakes
April 21, 2009 6:37 PM
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@snowburnt: I think the issue is also that the commercial implies eating Frosted Mini Wheats specifically is what increases attentiveness, not just eating breakfast in general. At least, that's what I glean from the commercials anyway.

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snowburnt
April 21, 2009 8:10 PM
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@veg-o-matic:@Crabby Cakes: They imply it, yes, but they don't say that it does any better than any other form of breakfast, just that it's better than nothing at all.

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floraposte
April 21, 2009 8:23 PM
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@snowburnt: They say their product produced a specific and quantifiable result. Their product didn't produce that result, and didn't produce anything near that result.

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Yossarian
April 21, 2009 8:32 PM
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@floraposte: It sure looks like their product produced that result some of the time.

It seems to me that saying something like \"...improved their attentiveness by [up to] nearly 20%...\" would be the most they would need to change, if that.

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your new nemesis
April 21, 2009 6:45 PM
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@Crabby Cakes: The last time I saw this ad, I paid attention to the language more just to see what it said. It didn't specifically say that the cereal improved performance, but actually eating breakfast. They implied that it would be the cereal. I think its funny that its on here now.

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Crabby Cakes
April 21, 2009 7:09 PM
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@skizsrodt: Those talking cereal things creep me out, but I'm definitely going to pay attention next time this commercial comes on.

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nbs2
April 21, 2009 7:04 PM
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@skizsrodt: That throws my feelings on this for a loop. If all they did was imply FMW would enhance better than other cereals, then I don't really care. If they clearly indicated that it would, then I have some concerns.


After all, don't most ads imply that using X is the best of all options in X's market?

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RandaPanda
April 21, 2009 6:34 PM
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I think the commercials are cute. Especially the frosted mini-wheats little bites. They're basically mini mini-wheats.


But my questing is this: How many kids actually EAT frosted mini-wheats? I didn't start eating them until I was in college, because I KNEW they were healthier for me than the fruit loops or coco pebbles. Honestly...most kids are wary to their parents making them eat healthy food.

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9 replies
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Anonymous
April 22, 2009 8:32 PM
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Actually, Frosted Mini-wheats have more sugar in them than Lucky Charms...I'm not sure you can count them as being healthy.

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pecan 3.14159265
April 21, 2009 7:32 PM
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@Randa the Panda: I hate frosted mini-wheats with a passion. Hate them so much I haven't had them since I was 10. I hated them back then too. It tastes like powdered cardboard.

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Hyman Decent
April 22, 2009 6:23 AM
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@pecan 3.14159265: Not only do I like Frosted Mini-Wheats, I actually prefer to have the unfrosted kind (I've been buying the Post version but I noticed earlier this year that Kellogg had just come out with its own) in order to cut down my sugar intake. I have them with Silk Vanilla soy milk. I guess the soy milk provides some sweetness and flavor.

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sponica
April 21, 2009 7:04 PM
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@Randa the Panda: i loooooooooooove frosted mini wheats! always have and always will. granted my mom really only bought cereal that was on sale that SHE liked to eat and cheerios for my dad.

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ecwis
April 21, 2009 6:38 PM
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@Randa the Panda: They have HFCS in them. Are they really that much healthier than other cereals?

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Anonymous
April 22, 2009 3:44 PM
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@ecwis: I believe that the strawberry Frosted Mini-Wheats (pictured above) do not have HFCS. The \"regular\" Frosted Mini-Wheats (and the blueberry and maple varieties) do. I cannot explain this difference in varieties.

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Radi0logy
April 21, 2009 6:52 PM
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@ecwis: *eyeroll* oh GOD would you people shut up with the stupid HFCS garbage

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disillusioned
April 22, 2009 6:45 AM
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@Radi0logy: KELLOGG'S has HFCS in it. Post does not. It's absolutely unfuckingnecessary to coat shredded wheat in fucking HFCS, as Post provides a better product and simply uses brown sugar.

Kellogg's uses HFCS in almost every cereal--even corn flakes.

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honestlytoomuch
April 21, 2009 7:35 PM
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@Radi0logy: Why? And there is nothing \"garbage\" about HFCS. If your going to tell me \"it's made from corn, it's natural, it won't affect you in small amounts\" please just stop yourself. Maybe if there was a way to only eat small amounts of HFCS it would be okay, BUT THERE'S NOT. It's in practically everything you pick up that is packaged. I've recently stopped eating packaged food or have only bought organic to get this crap out of my body and my life. Most people don't have the luxury of buying everything they eat at an inflated price b/c its organic or made with an alternative sweetner. SO YOU SHUT UP WITH YOUR TEENAGE EYEROLL COMMENTS THAT ARE NOT HELPFUL.

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Radi0logy
April 22, 2009 2:04 PM
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@honestlytoomuch: Lol you anti-HFCS fanatics crack me up. If you have a problem with HFCS that you can PROVE is a serious issue for human health that wouldn't exist with sugar please show it to me.

Walter Willett, chair of the nutrition department of the Harvard School of Public Health - \"There's no substantial evidence to support the idea that high-fructose corn syrup is somehow responsible for obesity .... If there was no high-fructose corn syrup, I don't think we would see a change in anything important.\"

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valsharess1
April 21, 2009 7:41 PM
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@honestlytoomuch: You don't have to buy organic to avoid HFCS, I shop at a regular grocery store and manage to buy groceries for the same price w/o HFCS just by reading the labels.

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honestlytoomuch
April 21, 2009 7:53 PM
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@valsharess1: Yes, I do a lot of label reading and yes there are non-organic foods out there w/out HFCS. I happen to buy organic b/c I also don't like all the preservatices and chemicals that go into packaged food. No HFCS is a plus. Bravo on finding similarly priced item. I always find food w/out HFCS is more expensive.

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RandaPanda
April 21, 2009 8:08 PM
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@honestlytoomuch: See, I'd be all about buying organic, if it was something that was viable in my area. It's just not possible. We don't have that many organic products available in our supermarkets. Your best option is to purchase at a farmer's market, but even then, that's not always a guarantee...it's better, but only marginally.

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joeblevins
April 21, 2009 6:37 PM
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@Randa the Panda:


My kids hate them and I didn't like them until recently.


I think the general statement should be 'Eat Breakfast, Do better in school'

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RandaPanda
April 21, 2009 7:00 PM
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@joeblevins: I know. I'm the same way. My parents always made us eat something, even if it was just poptarts on the walk to school. And ya know what? Between me and 3 siblings, we all were on the honor roll, we never got into any fights, and were involved in a bunch of activities. So, I have to agree with the \"eat breakfast and do better in school\" mantra.

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Magspie
April 21, 2009 6:35 PM
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I'm concerned about this study. Were some of the participating kids told they couldn't eat breakfast before school because someone wanted to see how tired it made them? That's mean.

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babyruthless
April 21, 2009 7:36 PM
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@Magspie: I'm going to guess that they had all the kids show up at a testing center in the morning (unfed), fed half breakfast, waited a little while, and then subjected them to whatever concentration tests they'd concocted.

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HiPwr
April 21, 2009 7:34 PM
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@Magspie: One group that ate Mini Wheats, one that didn't eat anything, and a control group that ate something that looked like Mini Wheats but wasn't (perhaps some kind of shredded cardboard substitute).

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Applekid
April 21, 2009 6:38 PM
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Dear Kellogg:
Bring back Raisin Mini-Wheats.

That is all. <3

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4 replies
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Alice Arrington Radley
April 21, 2009 10:36 PM
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@Applekid:

Hell to the fuck yeah. I was in the grocery store not one week ago arguing sort of shouting at the boxes asking why that didn't exist anymore. I also liked the ones that had either a blueberry or strawberry filling. This frosted outside shit has got to stop.

Yes, I embarrass my husband frequently where ever we go by arguing with the merchandise.

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Dancin' Hooooomeeeeeer!
April 21, 2009 8:30 PM
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@Applekid: Dear Kellogs,
Please bring back Sugar Smacks cereal. I just LOVE Dig 'Em!

Signed,

Homer

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Jeremy82465
April 21, 2009 6:42 PM
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@Applekid:


Dear Kelloggs:
Please bring back Pop Tarts Cereal.


Please, and thanks!

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redskull
April 21, 2009 6:55 PM
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@Jeremy82465:

Dear Kelloggs:

Stop charging nearly $5 for a freakin' box of cereal.

signed,
The World

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GuinevereRucker
April 21, 2009 7:16 PM
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@redskull: Dear Sir,

We need your moneys to conduct scientific studies, collect results, tamper with them, and then advertise so we sell more cereal.

Love,
Kellogs

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EdnaLegume
April 21, 2009 6:40 PM
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awww I love those commercials. I'm not dim enough to think a sugar coated cereal is giving my kids a boost in the IQ department either. They are one of the better cereal options out there though and it's better than NOT eating breakfast.

My son, who's eight, actually prefers raisin bran.

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your new nemesis
April 21, 2009 6:48 PM
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@EdnaLegume: Unfortunately, thats not a sentiment shared by most people. It's tough to think when tv does it for you.

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Eldritch
April 21, 2009 6:41 PM
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I never eat breakfast. It upsets my stomach to eat so early after I wake up, so apparently I must be the DUMBEST PERSON EVER because I dare to go without frosted mini wheats.

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I love the Power Glove. It's so bad.
April 21, 2009 6:44 PM
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Darn. I guess it's time to put the bowl down and go back to studying.

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Saboth
April 21, 2009 6:50 PM
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That's sad, I actually liked the commercials though. I kept waiting for something sarcastic to happen, or something bad, and it never did. It was like: \"Wow, that frosted mini wheat and that accountant have a positive, real, heterosexual relationship. Good for them.\"

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babyruthless
April 21, 2009 7:38 PM
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@Saboth: I've seen the accountant commercial several times, and I'm still waiting for something sarcastic to happen. Like I forget there's not a gag in it. Every time. It's weird.

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HiPwr
April 21, 2009 6:50 PM
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If the parents are gullible enough to believe that eating Frosted Mini Wheats will make their children star pupils, I suspect there is little chance that their offspring are going to be future members of the honor roll.

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axiomatic
April 21, 2009 7:06 PM
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I'm so smart after eating all that cereal that I'm now diabetic.

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Jessica Prescott
April 21, 2009 7:39 PM
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@axiomatic:
So you think eating a lot of sugar causes diabetes ? WOW that is sure not very smart...

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axiomatic
April 22, 2009 3:57 PM
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@Jessica Prescott: So I really am a diabetic. My endocrinologist is laying the blame at sugar from my youth. I apparently burned my pancreas out at an early age. I was heavy in to sports and drank mostly juice and soda, ate mostly carbs and sugars, and not enough water.

So yes. sugar can cause diabetes. I am living proof as a type 2 diabetic.

Sounds to me like it is you who does not really understand diabetes.

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puddinhead
April 21, 2009 7:36 PM
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@axiomatic: ha! I laughed when I saw this commercial. Every time I eat cereal for breakfast I am so ravenous by 10:00 AM I am ready to kill. They're all carbs and no protein. It's really a terrible breakfast.

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Alys Brangwin is one smartass pawn
April 21, 2009 7:23 PM
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How shocking! Cereal is not a cure for ADD.

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2 replies
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Canino
April 21, 2009 9:32 PM
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@Alys Brangwin is one smartass pawn: ADD is so 1999. Autism is the current affliction du jour.

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Alys Brangwin is one smartass pawn
April 22, 2009 12:45 AM
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@Canino: So now I'm stuck in 1999? Whooooooooooooo tech bubble!

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RoosterCockburn
April 21, 2009 7:24 PM
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Nothing better to say than retarded, huh?

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MyPetFly
April 21, 2009 7:41 PM
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So it's made of brains? That would explain why it's pink.

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Hyman Decent
April 22, 2009 6:25 AM
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@MyPetFly: I thought brain was made up of gray matter.

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Crystal Wojcinski
April 21, 2009 7:45 PM
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I think the only way my parents could have gotten me to eat anything that resembles a hay bale would have been to feed me breakfast blindfolded. Maybe this activity could have sparked tons of brain growth and interaction with my parents. I'd think DCFS would have eventually been called in to investigate such a unique family hobby.

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Brazell
April 21, 2009 7:47 PM
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THe commercials are cute, let them stay.

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The_IT_Crone
April 21, 2009 7:56 PM
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Well kids do better when they eat BREAKFAST, and FMW is indeed BREAKFAST... but that doesn't mean it's any better than Lucky Charms.

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2 replies
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calquist
April 21, 2009 9:01 PM
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@The_IT_Crone: I find Mini Wheats more filling that Lucky Charms.. and when I am full and my stomach isn't growling at work at 11am, I am more productive. I kinda get what the commercials are going for, but they are misleading about it.

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Saboth
April 21, 2009 9:00 PM
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@The_IT_Crone:

Well FMW does have a ton more fiber, and a bit of protein...I'd definately say it is a step above most children's cereals as far as nutrition:

Fiber: 5.1! (thats a lot)
Protein: 5.0 (a good amount for cereal).

Lucky Charms:
Fiber: 1.4 (meh, not awful, but nothing special).
Protein: 2.1 (eh)

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snowburnt
April 21, 2009 8:06 PM
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@SybilDisobedience: They didn't \"flat out lie\" they exaggerated.

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floraposte
April 21, 2009 8:22 PM
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@snowburnt: The two are hardly mutually exclusive.

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PlaneDriver
April 21, 2009 8:30 PM
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Also remember the commercial of the guy who found some accounting error and the talking mini-wheat credited it to his eating them. Sorry, but eating a certain type of cereal does not keep me going any longer.

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veg-o-matic
April 21, 2009 8:44 PM
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@snowburnt: Technically yes, they only imply it, thanks to our good friend syntax. However, placing the product name at the beginning of that sentence as a lead-in encourages the consumer to specifically identify Frosted Mini Wheats as the key to learning first before they identify breakfast in general. There's the problem.

This looks a little like the technique used in pharmaceutical ads: they start out with a whole list of general symptoms with which the viewer can identify and buy into before getting into the specifics of the drug, which might not even apply to the viewer.. but they've successfully hooked said viewer and increase the chances that he/she will inquire about the drug.

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FuryOfFirestorm
April 21, 2009 9:00 PM
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New \"Frosted Ritalin Wheats\" raises attentiveness by 100% and produces 30% less sass-mouth!

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Yamunation
April 21, 2009 10:02 PM
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what parent believed this nonsense in the first place?

Kids probably do better with breakfast, vs. no breakfast. So maybe it doesn't matter what they eat, as long as they eat. That doesn't mean Mini-wheats is the reason!

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Grrrrrrr, now with two buns made of bacon.
April 21, 2009 11:25 PM
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FROSTED MINI-WHEATS IS PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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nybiker
April 22, 2009 1:48 AM
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@Comrade ☠Grяrяrяrяrяrяrя reporting for duty!: Always nice to see a Soylent Green reference in a food posting.

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killianzim
April 21, 2009 11:48 PM
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The article quotes the FTC as saying consumers should deal with \"national trusted brands.\" Good to know who's lobbying the FTC!

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nybiker
April 22, 2009 1:46 AM
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When we (my 3 brothers and I) had cereal for breakfast it was either Cheerios or Rice Crispies. None of the sugar (I don't think the HFCS was in the back in the day) stuff for us. If it wasn't cereal, mom made us pancakes or waffles or eggs (she always got our sunny side ups done great, but for her's she would inevitably break the first egg she dropped). Those were the days my friend. And lunch, oh boy! Real sandwiches. Chicken cutlets. Meatball heroes.

/Thanks for the memories.

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b.k.
April 22, 2009 2:35 AM
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0% of this article discussed the 100% deliciousness of Frosted Mini Wheats.

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Bs Baldwin
April 22, 2009 10:04 AM
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Well at least the lil buggers are eating something. And getting some of their calcium intake at the same time. Hey FMW are only frosted on one side, so think how much worse they could be if they were fully frosted.

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PLATTWORX
April 22, 2009 1:45 PM
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Forget the FTC, the FDA needs to be put in charge of all health claims made by products as it should have been a decade ago.


Thousands of food and other products claim \"clinical studies suggest\" anything the manufacturer wants to claim with no need for third party data to back it up.


People are going to get hurt someday from a product that claims to do something and THEN the FDA is going to have to step in. Sad!

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