@GuinevereRucker: LOL!!

Hahahahahahahaha!

IN AFRICA HE WAS AN EMBARRASSMENT.

IN ITALY HE STILL HASN'T BEEN TO ABRUZZO, 8 DAYS AFTER THE EARTHQUAKE.

I mean, his trade, by nature, is to convince everyone to believe lies.

When I was involved with that stuff, EBS was triggered by calling the phone line attached to the EBS equipment in the cable company head end and then dialing a passcode. That would trigger the cutover, and the caller's voice would go out live on all channels to convey emergency info.

This was before digital cable, though I doubt much has changed. The idea that the EBS system would be mistakenly routed to a commercial playback input seems unlikely, since the first rule of the Emergency Broadcast System is "You do not screw with the Emergency Broadcast system."

The assembled Cardinals are in a panic. They don't want the Pope to die as he's been such a positive influence on the Church for so long. They invite more and more doctors to come and see what is wrong with the Pope and try to cure him.

Finally, a doctor comes that can figure out what's wrong with the Pope and how to cure him. "It's simple, he says, the Pope needs to have sex with a woman."

The Cardinals are shocked and call in another horde of doctors for a second opinion. After listening to the first doctor, they concur - the Pope needs to have sex with a woman to live.

In a panic, the Cardinals approach the Pope on his sickbed. They explain the situation and the cure. The Pope refuses. He's worked so hard to restore the Church's image, to bring it above scandal that to go back now would be hypocrisy. The Cardinals insist and after what seems like days of arguing, the Pope relents.

Wheezing from his bed, the Pope says, "If this is what must be done to save my life and thus save the Church, then it must be God's will. But I cannot in good conscience just have sex with any woman. I have three requirements."

The Cardinals collectively sigh in relief. "Of course, your Holiness. we would only select a chaste and pious woman who..."

"No, no. I am thinking of the Church's future. The woman must not know who I am lest this scandal damage the Church. Therefore," he coughs, "she must be blind."

The Cardinals all nod their assent. "Of course, your Holiness."

The Pope take a drink of water to ease his dry throat. "And what's more, as a man who has never touched a woman carnally, I do not know what I may say when we perform the act. Therefore, she must also be deaf lest she hear me cry out and can identify me."

Again, the Cardinals agree. The Pope begins coughing again, deep wracking coughs that shake his withered frame. He drinks another few sips of water as the Cardinals lean in closer. "Your Holiness... The final requirement? Should she be mute as well? A virgin? What?"

The Pope waves his hand to silence the assembled Cardinals. "Finally," he gasps between coughs, cupping his raised hands towards the sky, "She must have big tits!"

Given it involved the Catholic Church, I would have expected an ad for "Underage Choir Boys Gone Wild" :-)

@gafpromise: I am wondering the same thing. I am not Catholic but I know that the Pope is an honorable man and I respect him. I don't know if it is that he sticks to his beliefs even if it brings him hatred but I see the Pope as a wise a good human. With all the fraud and people trying to ruin each other on this site I expected people to respect the Pope.

At least we've finally gotten away from reality TV.

Mythology from the Pope followed by silicone from Dr's MacNamara and Troy.

The only thing real on TV that night was the Snuggie!

"AMEN!" said the congregation.

Comcast has got to be the champion purveyor of sleaze advertising.

So I take it the Girls Gone Wild people did not have to pay Comcast for this syndication in cable?

I sure hope not, since only antenna folk were able to see it.

"A person can believe in a god (theism) without claiming to know for sure if that god exists; the result is agnostic theism. On the other hand, a person can disbelieve in gods (atheism) without claiming to know for sure that no gods can or do exist; the result is agnostic atheism."

It's from an "About" article, so take from it what you will.

Geez, what's with all the Pope-bashing?

Stop with the technical details, Smithers. However you managed it, bravo. This one will get you extra gravy with your next holiday bonus chicken.

Good to know! I kind of like having comcast on here to clear up issues.

I love how 1 person called to complain, yep, 1 :-)

I hope this makes sense.

Thank you!
Frank Eliason
Comcast
@ComcastCares on Twitter
We_Can_Help@cable.comcast.com

*goes to find wife's boobies instead

@gaberussell: I thought that the EBS tests interrupted more than just one targetted channel, as well.

@HiPwr:

He doesn't believe that there are people who say you can't prove there is a God.

Or something like that.

You know those messy ads for local businesses and events you see on cable channels? That's a system at the cable company that overrides the channel feed with its own commercials. When the timing is out of whack, it inserts the ad in the middle of a TV show instead of during the commercial break.

@Cocoa Vanilla: How can you be both agnostic and athiest?

The irony is great.

@Trai_Dep: I LoL'd, comment of the day to you sir.

Well the EBS did work, but some jerk had something on that channel that was no-no-no-nauty boy, let me turn you over my knee and give you a spanking!

Conspiracist theory: Girls Gone Wild did it puposly to make sure we all burn in Hell!!!! And to sell a couple tapes to some backed up people.

@YouDidWhatNow?:

Funniest thing I've read in weeks.

Well, at least they had the decency to upgrade their customers from one boob to two, free of charge.

"The Superbowl" and "The Comcast" being my favorites.