var json_comments = new Array("
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headhot
February 12, 2009 8:28 PM
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buy them a beer

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7 replies
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booboolee
February 12, 2009 11:06 PM
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@headhot: seriously! people keep asking me to go out and grab a drink, and its not good for the self esteem to tell them I can't! These days, you got to offer to pay for the beer first off, cause I certainly won't ask, I will just decline going out.

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INsano
February 13, 2009 1:38 AM
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@booboolee: Great Booboolee, I wanted to make the same point. Make it explicitly clear that you are treating the person. I know it's unclear in English what constitutes a paid invitation(in Spanish it's just \"I invite you\" which denotes you'll pay, but in English it's more vague). Really, make it easy on the person, \"Let's meet up, I'll buy you a drink\", but don't sound too patronizing. Drinks are appreciated, greatly. Losing one's job isn't the end of the world, but feeling cooped-up and unable to go out and socialze in a pay-to-play society can be depressing.

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Luckwouldhaveit
February 12, 2009 9:13 PM
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@headhot: Funny, yes, but a free beer, nice lunch, or other reason to get out of the house is greatly appreciated by the out-of-work.

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Ingram81
February 12, 2009 8:46 PM
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@headhot: Yes. Please start them on the road to being the drunk and homeless guy on the street.

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Nathan Tappin
February 12, 2009 8:31 PM
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@headhot:

IF they lost a meh or not great job buy them a beer, if they lost a good or great job, then get them a pitcher!

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Fresh-Fest-1986
February 12, 2009 8:46 PM
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@Nathan Tappin: What if they lost a job from a brewery?


Heroin, maybe?

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morgasco
February 12, 2009 8:31 PM
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Make sure they take advantages of the things they've been paying for while they were employed.. Unemployment benefits, etc.

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3 replies
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Drew5764
February 13, 2009 2:36 AM
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@morgasco: If they've been paying for unemployment insurance, that could be a bigger problem. Workplaces are supposed to cover that, not the worker. At least that's how it is in New York.

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econobiker
February 12, 2009 9:22 PM
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@morgasco: Yes, tell them not to get a temp job unless it pays more than the unemployment they would qualify for from their old job.


And if, by some chance, they have a severance package, recommend that they volunteer in the morning doing something. I missed out with that as I could have voluneered for two months at an antique car musuem in late 2006.

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pecan 3.14159265
February 12, 2009 11:47 PM
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@econobiker: Well this is only the case if you're solidly mid-level or above in your career. The better advice would be that if you have to take a temp job, try to make it something in your field, and not working at the drive-through window.

I just got laid off from my first job out of college, and I took a temp job in my field to make connections and meet people. I know it'll take a chunk from my unemployment benefits, but I'd rather be able to make connections and maybe befriend people who might be able to help me in the long run.

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HIV 2 Elway
February 12, 2009 8:33 PM
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Don't remind them that they should have gotten an engineering degree rather than art history, english, philospophy or whatever other unmarketable degree they have.


Do pack them a phatty bowl.

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11 replies
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pecan 3.14159265
February 12, 2009 11:52 PM
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@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected: I always feel like reminding people that they're not engineers is so uncouth, and also kind of stupid. Not everyone is suited to be an engineer, nor are they suited to be lawyers or doctors. I'm terrible at math - no one should be reminding me that engineers are still mostly employed, because it won't do any good. I've never had the inclination that I was going to be good at engineering.

I've had bouts where I feel that I should've pursued X path...but I probably wouldn't be as happy, and I'd probably be in more student loan debt (I have none right now). All in all, things turned out fine. Definitely no regrets. Regret is your mind expressing frustration at your current situation, and a desperate wish to change the past. I've learned to try not to listen to my mind sometimes.

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WIgopher
February 12, 2009 11:25 PM
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@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected: I'm an engineer in Defense contracting to, and we've had a hiring freeze for the past 6 months, not to mention Boeing just laid off tons of their engineers on both sides of the aisle...DoD contracting isn't recession proof. Especially when there's a change in the White House...no matter the party.

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sebadoh128
February 12, 2009 8:54 PM
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@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected:


Proud History Major, gainfully employed.


Every two weeks I look at my bank account and I feel a little guilty. Then I focus on the amount deposited, and I feel sad.

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Ingram81
February 12, 2009 8:48 PM
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@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected: And if they do have an engineering degree....well then they aren't unemployed.

LOLZ

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David Brodbeck
February 12, 2009 9:52 PM
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@Ingram81: Until they reach middle age, then they'll be laid off and a cheaper engineer will be hired on an H1B visa to replace them.

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Ingram81
February 12, 2009 10:24 PM
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@David Brodbeck: You obviously aren't an engineer who is wise enough to make himself \"indispensable\" to the project.

And trust me, if you are that foreign guy taking my job, you DO NOT want to be him.

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floraposte
February 12, 2009 10:47 PM
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@Ingram81: That's why so many industries don't let you go back to your desk when you're let go. But seriously, why take out your ire on your successor rather than the place that kicked you out on your ass?

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ExtraCelestial
February 12, 2009 8:47 PM
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@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected: Except the housing market whomps and engineers are being laid off just as quickly. Winchester Homes just did a 25% cut. Yikes!

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HIV 2 Elway
February 12, 2009 8:53 PM
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@TinkishDelight: Our firm can't get enough applicants to fill open positions.

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HIV 2 Elway
February 12, 2009 9:33 PM
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@downwithmonstercable: R&D for a major defense contractor. The corporation does everything from munitions to NASA and high precision rockets. Our branch is looking for ME's, EE's, draftsmen, and PM's. We can't get enough qualified applicants, perhaps people are afraid of the midwest.

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trujunglist
February 17, 2009 1:19 AM
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@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected:

Any acoustical engineer openings? I don't mind the midwest but the price has gotta be right. Also, no one hires acoustical engineers. Argh.

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AirIntake
February 12, 2009 9:44 PM
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@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected: Where I'm from contract engineering firms are laying off, but in-house engineers are fine.

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chrisjames
February 12, 2009 9:43 PM
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@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected: Ohhhh, Defense. That explains it. Defense contracting is recession proof, at least for engineers. Plant workers, if it's that kind of place, sometimes not so much.

Nice to meet another of the kind.

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sonneillon
February 12, 2009 9:04 PM
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@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected: While there is a shortage of engineering degrees. It's not like degrees in health care. I've never known an RN to be unemployed for more than 2 weeks.

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legwork
February 12, 2009 9:12 PM
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@sonneillon: Absolutely. I have no doubt this is intertwined with the quality issues in healthcare.

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ExtraCelestial
February 12, 2009 9:02 PM
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@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected: Really?? We just laid off a bunch of civil engineers.

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enm4r
February 12, 2009 8:40 PM
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@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected: And if they do have an engineering degree, don't remind them that you left engineering junior year for political science and philosophy but you still have a job.

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m4ximusprim3
February 12, 2009 8:42 PM
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@enm4r: also, don't kid your wife about that fact that you have an AA from a vocational school and make almost twice as much as her with her masters from a UC.

seriously, don't.

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Ingram81
February 12, 2009 8:48 PM
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@m4ximusprim3: Sounds like no sex for you.

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intellivised
February 12, 2009 8:35 PM
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@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected: Or don't pack them a bowl since that's... you know... a good way to fail a pre-employment drug screen for when a friend finds a new job/get them by for now job.

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mac-phisto
February 12, 2009 8:39 PM
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@intellivised: yes. the obvious alternative would be cocaine, since it's out of your system in 2-3 days.

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BuddyGuyMontag
February 12, 2009 8:34 PM
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I've read Trunk's stuff before. Some of it, especially when dealing with co-workers and bad bosses is almost useless and quite possibly counter-productive in the real world.

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3 replies
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pb5000
February 12, 2009 8:56 PM
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@BuddyGuyMontag: Yeah, I tried to read her blog before and the level of self-importance she types with makes me wish I could smack her.

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WorldHarmony
February 14, 2009 5:33 AM
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Wow, one of you imagines sleeping with this woman and the other wants to hit her. Pretty low class stuff, boys.

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Fresh-Fest-1986
February 12, 2009 8:55 PM
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@BuddyGuyMontag: If I were sleeping with this woman it would be hard for me not to stop in the middle, look down, and say, \"Is that my junk in your Trunk?

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Fresh-Fest-1986
February 12, 2009 8:35 PM
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Ask them if they believe in Jesus then bite them.

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3 replies
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Wormfather is Wormfather
February 12, 2009 8:55 PM
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@Fresh-Fest-1986: I bealive in Jesus, yeah, Jesus Sanchez, we went to school together. He went to Brown, only weird thing is that he was Jewish. Go figure.

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m4ximusprim3
February 12, 2009 8:43 PM
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@Fresh-Fest-1986: wait, do I bite them no matter what the answer is, or only if they answer wrong? If so, what is the wrong answer?

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Fresh-Fest-1986
February 12, 2009 8:52 PM
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@m4ximusprim3: Bite them, then tell them you were practicing your imaginary interview skills. Tell them, Congratulations you not only lost your real job but also the one in my head.

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Mirshaan
February 12, 2009 8:38 PM
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Just be there. I was out of work for six months due to my company filing Chapter 11 and what I \"wanted\" a friend to say could vary from one day to the next. I may want to talk about the frustrations of job hunting one day and may simply want to ignore it the next. Being out of work can be very difficult on the person who's unemployed, and a good friend will simply be ready to be there in whatever capacity is needed at that time...


Best general advice... keep it light until the person out of work takes it to a heavier subject...

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Jon Mason
February 12, 2009 8:39 PM
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So don't ask about their job hunt but ask them \"hey hows your health insurance\" and \"man, does your wife think you're a loser\"... bet that will cheer them up...

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2 replies
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pecan 3.14159265
February 13, 2009 12:15 AM
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@masonreloaded: The best advice I've heard so far was on the radio, and the radio host was interviewing a guy who works in recruiting or something, and he had three pieces of advice:

It's not fair
It's not your fault
You're not alone

And it really made me feel better because it's all true. If you were good at your job, and you were laid off, it's NOT your fault. And you're certainly not alone.

Offer a contact is good advice, if it applies. I have friends in my field, but I also have friends who aren't. It wouldn't help for someone in secretarial work to offer me a contact unless it was applicable.

And who the heck asks about health insurance? I mean, of all things to ask about. Terrible. And acknowledging difficulties in a relationship? Seriously? Unemployment actually (hopefully) brings people closer. Not that people should want to be unemployed because of this, but when you and your spouse or significant other recognizes that any strain on one person is a strain on both, it opens up a new level of commitment. Or it should, anyway. In sickness or in health, in richer or poorer, right? Good spouses will stick with each other through thick and thin. Someone who actually says \"so how bad are things between you two\" is assuming you're going to have problems. No friend of mine.

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kathyl
February 12, 2009 10:24 PM
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@masonreloaded: Yeah, those are the two I thought were odd. I wouldn't want to be reminded that my COBRA is a) expensive and b) might run out before I find another new job. And who in their right mind says, \"Wow, your wife/husband must be pretty disappointed in you!\"

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Ratty
February 12, 2009 8:42 PM
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When it's your significant other who lost their job, most of these steps are pretty worthless or strange. Step six could turn out hilarious or maybe tie into step 5, with the good contact being a divorce lawyer.

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2 replies
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pecan 3.14159265
February 13, 2009 12:06 AM
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@Ratty: When it's your spouse, the best course of action is to help them job hunt and be encouraging.

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TheSpatulaOfLove
February 13, 2009 1:18 AM
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@pecan pi:

My wife was the biggest help to me when I got dot-bombed back in 2000.

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m4ximusprim3
February 12, 2009 8:44 PM
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this makes no sense whatsoever. How about you lead with \"whats up, dude\" and then react to what they say? like any normal human being would do?

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Tiki McTikatron
February 12, 2009 8:45 PM
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I offer to help them polish up their resume.

Most people that I know, that got laid off recently, hadn't touched their resume in a long time and had a very hard time remembering everything that they did at their last job. It sometimes helps when someone asks them questions about their last position.

It also helps to have someone not familiar with their field or company review the resume to identify the buzzwords that were native to that company that they worked for and help replace them with something that has more of a mass appeal.

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Corporate_guy
February 12, 2009 8:52 PM
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@Tiki McTikatron: You should get your own consumerist article.

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JGBrock
February 12, 2009 8:49 PM
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I've been laid off once. It threw me into a nearly psychotic rage for months. I never actually cased the house or anything, but the idea of killing the motherfucker who ran the company (into the ground) was always with me.


That was 7 years ago. Even now, if that bastard ever walks into the street in front of my car, he better have everything straight with Jesus that day.

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4 replies
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Yossarian
February 12, 2009 10:31 PM
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@JGBrock: I hear you. A while back the CIO where I was working \"eliminated the positions\" of a couple of developers (me included) so he could bring in a couple of cronies with the same responsibilities but different job titles. About a year later, I heard that he had cancer, and I smiled and cheered for the cancer. I wish him and his family nothing but pain and misery.

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thezone
February 12, 2009 10:45 PM
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@Yossarian: I had to lay people off once. It was the worst experience of my life. I fought for everyone I could and in the end it cost me my job. I hope none of them want to run me over.

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JGBrock
February 13, 2009 1:29 AM
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I have had to do that too. Two differences between us (The aforementioned asshat and me). One, it really bothered me. He most clearly did not give a shit. Two, I was not directly responsible for a prolonged series of incredibly inept management decisions that led to the need to lay people off. A chimp could have run that place better and, last I heard, he is still there.


They say that if you have never contemplated murder, you have never been in love. You can add 'never been laid off' to that.

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AirIntake
February 12, 2009 9:45 PM
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@JGBrock: You may need help. Layoffs do happen.

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JGBrock
February 12, 2009 10:07 PM
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Sure they do.


And if your friend decides to commit murder over it, spot him an alibi. I'm just saying.

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HogwartsAlum
February 12, 2009 8:52 PM
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When I was unemployed (for over a year), I appreciated it when people would let me know of a job lead, or offer me some help with my resume, etc. But don't hound them, i.e.\"You better call them; Oh hurry up on this or that; You need to do this; You need to do that.\"

Offer it, and if they decline, don't make a big deal of it. They may just need some time to think about it. And if they change the subject, let them. Don't let the job hunt be the ONLY thing you talk about. That will just make them feel worse and then they will start to avoid you.

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Anonymous
February 12, 2009 8:53 PM
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Wow! I can't wait to stop asking my friends how the job hunt's going and instead focus on lighter topics like how their health insurance sucks now and whether their SO's going to dump them. Great advice!

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Pink Puppet
February 12, 2009 8:55 PM
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I was actually kind of shocked at how supportive my friends and family have been since I was laid off of my job. We're all really close, but its still pretty touching. The neighbors have me doing odd job work for extra cash, my friends have been keeping an eye out for work that fits my skill set, and my family has just been awesomely supportive on many levels.

I need to start giving people more hugs or something.

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2 replies
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Fresh-Fest-1986
February 12, 2009 9:01 PM
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@Pink Puppet: \"...I need to start giving people more hugs or something.\"


Make sure they realize that because of your position that they will be billed for them.

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Pink Puppet
February 13, 2009 4:19 AM
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@LuluStarPony: I'd be more than happy to go with with a hugs to beer ratio of 3:1 as a friends and family rate, but am open to negotiations.

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PCJustin
February 12, 2009 9:05 PM
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If you know they aren't as prepared as they should be financially, offer them the couch or the spare bedroom until they're on their feet again. A $75 storage room versus $1000 in rent could make the difference between a minor setback and financial ruin if it takes a long time for them to find a job. Obviously this only applies to really close friends (and hope all your friends don't lose their jobs).

Wait to lecture them on the concept of saving until after they are on their feet again.

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rpm773
February 12, 2009 9:06 PM
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I usually like to get them all riled up by helping them come up with scapegoats for their troubles.

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Josh Hofer
February 12, 2009 9:11 PM
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Holy crap, I can't believe you guys used THAT picture!

That is my friend Josh Moore, this is a promo picture for his acoustic project! You can check out his music here: www.myspace.com/joshuamoore

Also, to go along with the theme of everyone being called JOSH... my friend Joshua Hoffman is the photographer!

...and yes, my name is ALSO Josh! haha

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4 replies
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Traveshamockery
February 12, 2009 10:01 PM
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@Josh Hofer: So Josh downsized his band to do his acoustic project? Maybe we should forward them this article.

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Josh Hofer
February 12, 2009 10:45 PM
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@InfiniTrent: I already showed him haha

Most recently it's always been a one person project... but before this he was in a post-hardcore band called Beloved and after that, joined a band called Classic Case. Both bands are now broken up. What he is doing now is really really awesome. Acoustic/folk music, great stuff.

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Josh Hofer
February 12, 2009 9:21 PM
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@Luckwouldhaveit: ha! That really made me laugh out loud. Well done.

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jvandub
February 12, 2009 9:19 PM
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Buy them a beer. That's all I would want

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Applekid
February 12, 2009 9:22 PM
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Pay them a tin of muffins to paint your fence.

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JGKojak
February 12, 2009 9:22 PM
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TOP TEN THINGS NOT TO SAY TO THE FRIEND WHO IS LAID OFF
10. If you had just tried a little harder maybe you wouldn't be in this situation
9. You're not really good at anything, how ARE you going to find a job
8. I got extra tickets to the Final Four, too bad you don't have any money
7. I hear Denny's has gotten real busy lately, maybe they need someone
6. I'll pay you $100 to sleep with your wife
5. I have some work for you... shine my shoes, boy
4. (In front of wife): Man, if I were unemployed, my wife would make me spend the day cleaning the house
3. Remember that $20 you owe me?
2. I read a study that umemployed men get real nervous in bed because they feel inadequate as men- you ever feel that way?
1. I hear the club is looking for male dancers

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ElizabethD
February 12, 2009 9:28 PM
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I agree with the comments and suggestions that advise: BE THERE. Keep in touch with the unemployed friend or former colleague. Check in occasionally -- by phone or email. Set a lunch date just to chat.

My husband is coming up on two years unemployed, still enduring the interview/rejection routine. He has one -- ONE -- friend (former co-worker) who calls weekly and occasionally meets him for lunch just to talk. Yes, my husband tries to network as much as possible. But after a year or more of this frustration and rejection, you do tend to withdraw into a shell somewhat.

I thank God for that one loyal friend who stays in touch and gets my husband out of the house for lunch on a fairly regular basis while I'm at work all week. I wish more of his \"friends\" did the same, but most of them have gone missing as if he's poison these days, as if job-elimination/downsizing is contagious. Classy. :(

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LatinoGeek
February 24, 2009 9:57 PM
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@ElizabethD:

Bless you. My wife wasn't so supportive. I was unemployed from late Dec to Early May. She's usually supportive, but she slowly turned cold, and we ended up arguing and not speaking for clips at time.

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Acolyte
February 12, 2009 9:50 PM
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@ElizabethD: Dang! 2 years?! Well at least he has you for support.

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faintandfuzzies
February 12, 2009 9:32 PM
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Having been in this situation twice in the past, don't continually ask if they've found another job yet. I found that most annoying.

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valarmorghulis
February 12, 2009 10:30 PM
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@faintandfuzzies: TELL ME ABOUT IT! I actually was just recently informed of my impending joblessness (from one of the companies recently featured on Consumerist/CNN as still hiring). While I'm still working, the worst part is how everybody keeps asking me what I'm going to do about it, and conversations hush as I (or anybody from my group) walk by. It's like they all have survivor's guilt about it. Also, everybody wants to know what I was offered for severance, which is kinda annoying.

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SoCalGNX
February 12, 2009 9:33 PM
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Let them know of any leads you hear about. If you know them well enough, invite them over for a simple dinner some night. God knows we unemployed shut ins need to get out and away from Jerry Springer reruns.

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ionerox
February 12, 2009 9:43 PM
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Help them network. Either by passing his name on to leads, or by going to social events that might put you in touch with leads.


My boyfriend lost his job in early 2008, and lots of networking and going out to events related to his industry landed him a temporary job in a month. That temp job turned into two job offers the month after. Eight months later, he's moved up from the entry-level at his company and has a lot more responsibility and a lot better pay and benefits. Plus, he likes the job a heck of a lot more.

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RebekahSue
February 12, 2009 9:45 PM
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I had a list of URLs to the local newspapers' ads, so that searches were a click away. I could hit, if I tried, a dozen papers (with few ads in the recession) in an hour without going to the library or buying a paper. One newspaper even emailed keyword ads every week.

I used to email the list to anyone who was interested. Now, I'm too apathetic to update it; I did a lot of work on it and I heard from spouses that the unemployed would boot up and then spend the day on MySpace.

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frodolives35
February 12, 2009 10:00 PM
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Offer to help him spread garbage on the lawn of the scum ceo who ruined the company he worked for. Or hold the ceo while he kicks him in the groin reapetedly. I think option 2 would bring a much higher degree of satisfaction. Even if you don't follow thru the thought of it might bring a smile to his face.

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framitz
February 12, 2009 10:24 PM
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@frodolives35:
The CEO of the company that laid me off has an exotic car collection . . .

Thinking about smearing dog crap under the door handles of his cars puts a smile on my face ;)

Me and another guy did that to a teacher we didn't like in high school and we hid and watched. I laughed so hard my stomach was sore for two days.

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tinmanx
February 12, 2009 10:20 PM
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I have unemployment all planned out. Gonna get an Element and drive across the country while camping out/sleeping in the car. I'll worry about being unemployed afterward.

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Anonymous
February 12, 2009 10:23 PM
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My job was eliminated two weeks ago, ergo, I was eliminated. The worst part of it was that I was the only person at my location laid off. The most unexpected, and unwelcome, part was all of my co-workers telling me how upset they were! I ended up comforting two of my co-workers over the phone who sounded like they were in tears.

I agree with the comment that what you want to hear does change from day to day...but I think my least favorite comment was from my hubby, \"I think job-hunting is kinda fun!\"

Offering a helpful contact is the best if it is sincere. Just pulling an aloof \"I think this company/industry might be hiring...\" isn't the same as an actual company, an actual position, an actual human contact, etc, that could lead to a job.

Sitting at home all day looking at job boards is damned depressing, so any call from a friend or invitation to lunch is welcome. I'm unemployed, not a leper.

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jmndos
February 12, 2009 10:27 PM
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This is total BS...
1. How's the job hunt?\"
2. Do you have a job ?
3. How about finding a job.
4. How come you dont have a job.
5. Job, I got a job, why dont you ?
6. Go find a job.
7. Hey, here about some jobs...

That should piss him off and light a fire under his ass....and he will go get a job...

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the_wiggle
February 15, 2009 6:29 AM
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@jmndos: or torture you to a well deserved death.

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stpauliegirl
February 12, 2009 10:51 PM
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Don't ask them if they've thought of temping (they have). And don't offer job advice if you are a stripper; you don't have a real job and your advice is not appreciated. (I'd like to say this to my sister-in-law, who thinks she knows more than my laid-off husband.)


Don't ask them if they've found a job less than a week after they were laid-off. It's not even funny. (This is for my mother-in-law.)

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h3llc4t, breaker of office dress codes
February 14, 2009 12:49 PM
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@stpauliegirl: Oh, please, knock off the stripper hate. It's a viable option for some people, and has kept a lot of women (and men) financially stable where they otherwise might not have been. I lived off of my stripping gig when I was completing unpaid veterinary internships. Ur hackneyed bias, it's showin.

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booboolee
February 12, 2009 11:13 PM
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Pot-luck dinners. Or... just invited us over for dinner. Ask if they want to go running, tennis, anything that is good for you and free!

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Maulleigh
February 12, 2009 11:32 PM
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If a friend of mine wanted to grill me about all this stuff I'd tell him or her to eff off--who are you my mother?!

Why not allow the friend to approach you?

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Ingram81
February 12, 2009 11:57 PM
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Try t gt thm t kll thmslvs t lwr th nmplymnt rt.

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morgasco
February 12, 2009 11:57 PM
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@ngrm81: 'll fnd nc fnc nd grb my ppcrn n ths n

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Ingram81
February 12, 2009 9:17 PM
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@Mirshaan: 1st one takes the bait.

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Ingram81
February 12, 2009 8:53 PM
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@Ingram81: (waits for the responses)

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Fresh-Fest-1986
February 12, 2009 8:57 PM
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@Ingram81: Andy Richter, PI: \"She died doing what she did best, suicide.\"

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telegramsam
February 13, 2009 4:23 AM
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Having been through a layoff a few months ago, I would add:

Do NOT chirpily dismiss their very real anxiety with any variation of \"Oh, you'll be fine!\" or \"I'm not worried about you at all!\" or \"You'll land on your feet!\"

Horrible, insipid, and infuriating.

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the_wiggle
February 15, 2009 6:31 AM
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@telegramsam: i concur - stabby making. please allow the laid off to actually experience those famous 5 stages w/o dismissals.

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catastrophegirl chooses not to fly
February 13, 2009 4:55 AM
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reading this article and the comments makes me love my job.
i have the best thing EVER to say to the people i call in the course of my job duties [pharma]
\"i'm just calling to see how you are doing and to find out if you need any help affording your [medicine that my company makes.] you are? ok, we have some new financial assistance programs that you might qualify for\"
i can't fix their employment situation but i can help them stay healthy enough to look for work.

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batsy
February 13, 2009 5:07 AM
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@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected: I find it rather ridiculous to criticize someone for doing what they enjoy.

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wiggatron
February 13, 2009 7:06 AM
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My mother keeps offering up the ever-so-helpful \"Something will turn up\". Thanks mom. I wasn't sure if I'd ever get a job again. I figured I'd just crawl under a rock and lay there 'til I die.

Personally, I prefer a hearty \"that's shitty!\" and move on. If I want to talk about my job situation, then I will. Otherwise, don't bring it up.

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bellesouth
February 13, 2009 1:58 PM
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Do not say \"Do you have a degree? You could always teach!\"

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aguacarbonica
February 13, 2009 2:15 PM
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This reminds me of my Teach for America Interview. Somehow a reporter was allowed to come in and talk to us beforehand. He wanted to interview us about what it was like to search for a job in such a shitty market. He asked us a lot of negative questions like were we applying just because we had failed to get investment banking jobs in the fall.

It's like really? Thanks for the pick-me-up right before our interview. Unsurprisingly, when he passed around a piece of paper for people to sign up and talk to him later, only one person signed up.

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am84
February 13, 2009 2:45 PM
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My significant other was recently laid off for 6+ months and the best thing I found to do was to be supportive but not pushy. If I found a good job opportunity, I would let him know about it, but not hound him every 5 minutes about whether or not he followed up. Personally, I think that just makes things worse.

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Anonymous
February 13, 2009 4:21 PM
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From the nonminus blog (http://www.nonminus.com/2009/01/my-day-job-employer-is-going-through.html)

Top ten tips for the recently laid-off (and the still-employed too)

1. Mark Twain once said, “Humor is tragedy plus time\". So, I guess the message is someday you'll look back on this and think it is funny. I say, \"Why wait?!?\"
2. You should be very suspicious when your manager comes in on a Monday morning and says, “I need to see you in the conference room and our Director will be joining us.”
3. Being laid off is a great way to get rid of telemarketers and door-to-door sales people!
4. Your job or lack of one does not define who you are. Regardless of your employment status, you are still a spouse, a son or daughter, a brother or sister, and a friend to others. Your true friends and family will stick by you not because of where you work, but because of who you are as a person.
5. “It’s not so much what you know as it is who you know.” I searched the Internet and applied for somewhere around 30 different jobs over the last three months. For the most part, I didn’t receive any response, and at best, I received a few letters stating the companies weren’t interested. I received four job offers over the last two months, all of which came about through personal contacts.
6. If things are getting tight financially, walk into the local Dollar Store and tell yourself, “I can afford anything in this store!”
7. There is a fine line between pride and stupidity. I was laid off September 29, and my pride kept me from telling very many people. You know when someone comes up and says, “How are you doing?” I didn’t tell them truth that I was laid off and I was worried about making my mortgage payment. I would smile and say, “I’m fine.” You need to find a way to let others know about your situation because they might have an opportunity of know of someone that can help you out.
8. It has been said many different ways, but I like the version heard in Semisonic's song \"Closing Time\". The quote goes, \"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.\" So, get out there and make your new beginning!
9. Laughter is the best medicine. You sacrifice your sense of humor at the expense of your sense of sanity. Click here for some classic lay-off humor.
10. Use your new-found free time to start a blog! But wait, wasn't getting laid-off enough of a painful rejection for you? Heh, I kid! I kid! Blogging is great, um really, I mean it. Hello? Anyone? Bueller?

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hoffmeister_hoff
February 14, 2009 2:32 AM
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I always like to remind them that unemployed individuals are in the vast minority (about 93% of the population IS employed) and that they must look deep into themselves to understand why they are defective.

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h3llc4t, breaker of office dress codes
February 14, 2009 12:54 PM
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1. Say \"It's not fair, and I'm sorry this happened\"
2. Present them with gifts of cookies/beer
3. Offer to polish up their resume if you have that ability

I look at helping friends through unemployment as somewhat akin to helping them go through a death in the family. Usually I don't even have to ask how the job hunt's going, because any little glimmer of hope inspires them to call their circle of support and spread the news. When I was in a horrible job and desperately seeking a better one, the acts I appreciated most were ones that gave me a focused activity to take my mind off the issue at hand (and that I didn't have to pay for). Bowling is excellent for this.

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