Bless you. My wife wasn't so supportive. I was unemployed from late Dec to Early May. She's usually supportive, but she slowly turned cold, and we ended up arguing and not speaking for clips at time.

Any acoustical engineer openings? I don't mind the midwest but the price has gotta be right. Also, no one hires acoustical engineers. Argh.

I look at helping friends through unemployment as somewhat akin to helping them go through a death in the family. Usually I don't even have to ask how the job hunt's going, because any little glimmer of hope inspires them to call their circle of support and spread the news. When I was in a horrible job and desperately seeking a better one, the acts I appreciated most were ones that gave me a focused activity to take my mind off the issue at hand (and that I didn't have to pay for). Bowling is excellent for this.

Top ten tips for the recently laid-off (and the still-employed too)

1. Mark Twain once said, “Humor is tragedy plus time". So, I guess the message is someday you'll look back on this and think it is funny. I say, "Why wait?!?"
2. You should be very suspicious when your manager comes in on a Monday morning and says, “I need to see you in the conference room and our Director will be joining us.”
3. Being laid off is a great way to get rid of telemarketers and door-to-door sales people!
4. Your job or lack of one does not define who you are. Regardless of your employment status, you are still a spouse, a son or daughter, a brother or sister, and a friend to others. Your true friends and family will stick by you not because of where you work, but because of who you are as a person.
5. “It’s not so much what you know as it is who you know.” I searched the Internet and applied for somewhere around 30 different jobs over the last three months. For the most part, I didn’t receive any response, and at best, I received a few letters stating the companies weren’t interested. I received four job offers over the last two months, all of which came about through personal contacts.
6. If things are getting tight financially, walk into the local Dollar Store and tell yourself, “I can afford anything in this store!”
7. There is a fine line between pride and stupidity. I was laid off September 29, and my pride kept me from telling very many people. You know when someone comes up and says, “How are you doing?” I didn’t tell them truth that I was laid off and I was worried about making my mortgage payment. I would smile and say, “I’m fine.” You need to find a way to let others know about your situation because they might have an opportunity of know of someone that can help you out.
8. It has been said many different ways, but I like the version heard in Semisonic's song "Closing Time". The quote goes, "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." So, get out there and make your new beginning!
9. Laughter is the best medicine. You sacrifice your sense of humor at the expense of your sense of sanity. Click here for some classic lay-off humor.
10. Use your new-found free time to start a blog! But wait, wasn't getting laid-off enough of a painful rejection for you? Heh, I kid! I kid! Blogging is great, um really, I mean it. Hello? Anyone? Bueller?

My significant other was recently laid off for 6+ months and the best thing I found to do was to be supportive but not pushy. If I found a good job opportunity, I would let him know about it, but not hound him every 5 minutes about whether or not he followed up. Personally, I think that just makes things worse.

It's like really? Thanks for the pick-me-up right before our interview. Unsurprisingly, when he passed around a piece of paper for people to sign up and talk to him later, only one person signed up.

Personally, I prefer a hearty "that's shitty!" and move on. If I want to talk about my job situation, then I will. Otherwise, don't bring it up.

Do NOT chirpily dismiss their very real anxiety with any variation of "Oh, you'll be fine!" or "I'm not worried about you at all!" or "You'll land on your feet!"

Horrible, insipid, and infuriating.

@booboolee: Great Booboolee, I wanted to make the same point. Make it explicitly clear that you are treating the person. I know it's unclear in English what constitutes a paid invitation(in Spanish it's just "I invite you" which denotes you'll pay, but in English it's more vague). Really, make it easy on the person, "Let's meet up, I'll buy you a drink", but don't sound too patronizing. Drinks are appreciated, greatly. Losing one's job isn't the end of the world, but feeling cooped-up and unable to go out and socialze in a pay-to-play society can be depressing.

I have had to do that too. Two differences between us (The aforementioned asshat and me). One, it really bothered me. He most clearly did not give a shit. Two, I was not directly responsible for a prolonged series of incredibly inept management decisions that led to the need to lay people off. A chimp could have run that place better and, last I heard, he is still there.

They say that if you have never contemplated murder, you have never been in love. You can add 'never been laid off' to that.

My wife was the biggest help to me when I got dot-bombed back in 2000.

It's not fair
It's not your fault
You're not alone

And it really made me feel better because it's all true. If you were good at your job, and you were laid off, it's NOT your fault. And you're certainly not alone.

Offer a contact is good advice, if it applies. I have friends in my field, but I also have friends who aren't. It wouldn't help for someone in secretarial work to offer me a contact unless it was applicable.

And who the heck asks about health insurance? I mean, of all things to ask about. Terrible. And acknowledging difficulties in a relationship? Seriously? Unemployment actually (hopefully) brings people closer. Not that people should want to be unemployed because of this, but when you and your spouse or significant other recognizes that any strain on one person is a strain on both, it opens up a new level of commitment. Or it should, anyway. In sickness or in health, in richer or poorer, right? Good spouses will stick with each other through thick and thin. Someone who actually says "so how bad are things between you two" is assuming you're going to have problems. No friend of mine.

I've had bouts where I feel that I should've pursued X path...but I probably wouldn't be as happy, and I'd probably be in more student loan debt (I have none right now). All in all, things turned out fine. Definitely no regrets. Regret is your mind expressing frustration at your current situation, and a desperate wish to change the past. I've learned to try not to listen to my mind sometimes.

Why not allow the friend to approach you?

Don't ask them if they've thought of temping (they have). And don't offer job advice if you are a stripper; you don't have a real job and your advice is not appreciated. (I'd like to say this to my sister-in-law, who thinks she knows more than my laid-off husband.)

Don't ask them if they've found a job less than a week after they were laid-off. It's not even funny. (This is for my mother-in-law.)

Most recently it's always been a one person project... but before this he was in a post-hardcore band called Beloved and after that, joined a band called Classic Case. Both bands are now broken up. What he is doing now is really really awesome. Acoustic/folk music, great stuff.

@faintandfuzzies: TELL ME ABOUT IT! I actually was just recently informed of my impending joblessness (from one of the companies recently featured on Consumerist/CNN as still hiring). While I'm still working, the worst part is how everybody keeps asking me what I'm going to do about it, and conversations hush as I (or anybody from my group) walk by. It's like they all have survivor's guilt about it. Also, everybody wants to know what I was offered for severance, which is kinda annoying.

That should piss him off and light a fire under his ass....and he will go get a job...

Thinking about smearing dog crap under the door handles of his cars puts a smile on my face ;)

Me and another guy did that to a teacher we didn't like in high school and we hid and watched. I laughed so hard my stomach was sore for two days.

And trust me, if you are that foreign guy taking my job, you DO NOT want to be him.

I agree with the comment that what you want to hear does change from day to day...but I think my least favorite comment was from my hubby, "I think job-hunting is kinda fun!"

Offering a helpful contact is the best if it is sincere. Just pulling an aloof "I think this company/industry might be hiring..." isn't the same as an actual company, an actual position, an actual human contact, etc, that could lead to a job.

Sitting at home all day looking at job boards is damned depressing, so any call from a friend or invitation to lunch is welcome. I'm unemployed, not a leper.

Sure they do.

And if your friend decides to commit murder over it, spot him an alibi. I'm just saying.

Offer to help him spread garbage on the lawn of the scum ceo who ruined the company he worked for. Or hold the ceo while he kicks him in the groin reapetedly. I think option 2 would bring a much higher degree of satisfaction. Even if you don't follow thru the thought of it might bring a smile to his face.

I used to email the list to anyone who was interested. Now, I'm too apathetic to update it; I did a lot of work on it and I heard from spouses that the unemployed would boot up and then spend the day on MySpace.

Nice to meet another of the kind.

Help them network. Either by passing his name on to leads, or by going to social events that might put you in touch with leads.

My boyfriend lost his job in early 2008, and lots of networking and going out to events related to his industry landed him a temporary job in a month. That temp job turned into two job offers the month after. Eight months later, he's moved up from the entry-level at his company and has a lot more responsibility and a lot better pay and benefits. Plus, he likes the job a heck of a lot more.

@downwithmonstercable: R&D for a major defense contractor. The corporation does everything from munitions to NASA and high precision rockets. Our branch is looking for ME's, EE's, draftsmen, and PM's. We can't get enough qualified applicants, perhaps people are afraid of the midwest.

Having been in this situation twice in the past, don't continually ask if they've found another job yet. I found that most annoying.

My husband is coming up on two years unemployed, still enduring the interview/rejection routine. He has one -- ONE -- friend (former co-worker) who calls weekly and occasionally meets him for lunch just to talk. Yes, my husband tries to network as much as possible. But after a year or more of this frustration and rejection, you do tend to withdraw into a shell somewhat.

I thank God for that one loyal friend who stays in touch and gets my husband out of the house for lunch on a fairly regular basis while I'm at work all week. I wish more of his "friends" did the same, but most of them have gone missing as if he's poison these days, as if job-elimination/downsizing is contagious. Classy. :(

@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected: What do you do, just out of curiosity...

@morgasco: Yes, tell them not to get a temp job unless it pays more than the unemployment they would qualify for from their old job.

And if, by some chance, they have a severance package, recommend that they volunteer in the morning doing something. I missed out with that as I could have voluneered for two months at an antique car musuem in late 2006.

TOP TEN THINGS NOT TO SAY TO THE FRIEND WHO IS LAID OFF
10. If you had just tried a little harder maybe you wouldn't be in this situation
9. You're not really good at anything, how ARE you going to find a job
8. I got extra tickets to the Final Four, too bad you don't have any money
7. I hear Denny's has gotten real busy lately, maybe they need someone
6. I'll pay you $100 to sleep with your wife
5. I have some work for you... shine my shoes, boy
4. (In front of wife): Man, if I were unemployed, my wife would make me spend the day cleaning the house
3. Remember that $20 you owe me?
2. I read a study that umemployed men get real nervous in bed because they feel inadequate as men- you ever feel that way?
1. I hear the club is looking for male dancers

That is my friend Josh Moore, this is a promo picture for his acoustic project! You can check out his music here: www.myspace.com/joshuamoore

Also, to go along with the theme of everyone being called JOSH... my friend Joshua Hoffman is the photographer!

...and yes, my name is ALSO Josh! haha

Wait to lecture them on the concept of saving until after they are on their feet again.

@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected: Really?? We just laid off a bunch of civil engineers.

@Pink Puppet: "...I need to start giving people more hugs or something."

Make sure they realize that because of your position that they will be billed for them.

@Ingram81:

100% uncalled for asshattery

@Ingram81: Andy Richter, PI: "She died doing what she did best, suicide."

I need to start giving people more hugs or something.

@Fresh-Fest-1986: I bealive in Jesus, yeah, Jesus Sanchez, we went to school together. He went to Brown, only weird thing is that he was Jewish. Go figure.

@BuddyGuyMontag: If I were sleeping with this woman it would be hard for me not to stop in the middle, look down, and say, "Is that my junk in your Trunk?

@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected:

Proud History Major, gainfully employed.

Every two weeks I look at my bank account and I feel a little guilty. Then I focus on the amount deposited, and I feel sad.

@TinkishDelight: Our firm can't get enough applicants to fill open positions.

Offer it, and if they decline, don't make a big deal of it. They may just need some time to think about it. And if they change the subject, let them. Don't let the job hunt be the ONLY thing you talk about. That will just make them feel worse and then they will start to avoid you.

@m4ximusprim3: Bite them, then tell them you were practicing your imaginary interview skills. Tell them, Congratulations you not only lost your real job but also the one in my head.

I've been laid off once. It threw me into a nearly psychotic rage for months. I never actually cased the house or anything, but the idea of killing the motherfucker who ran the company (into the ground) was always with me.

That was 7 years ago. Even now, if that bastard ever walks into the street in front of my car, he better have everything straight with Jesus that day.

LOLZ

@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected: Except the housing market whomps and engineers are being laid off just as quickly. Winchester Homes just did a 25% cut. Yikes!

@Nathan Tappin: What if they lost a job from a brewery?

Heroin, maybe?

Most people that I know, that got laid off recently, hadn't touched their resume in a long time and had a very hard time remembering everything that they did at their last job. It sometimes helps when someone asks them questions about their last position.

It also helps to have someone not familiar with their field or company review the resume to identify the buzzwords that were native to that company that they worked for and help replace them with something that has more of a mass appeal.

When it's your significant other who lost their job, most of these steps are pretty worthless or strange. Step six could turn out hilarious or maybe tie into step 5, with the good contact being a divorce lawyer.

seriously, don't.

@HIV 2 Elway Resurrected: And if they do have an engineering degree, don't remind them that you left engineering junior year for political science and philosophy but you still have a job.

Just be there. I was out of work for six months due to my company filing Chapter 11 and what I "wanted" a friend to say could vary from one day to the next. I may want to talk about the frustrations of job hunting one day and may simply want to ignore it the next. Being out of work can be very difficult on the person who's unemployed, and a good friend will simply be ready to be there in whatever capacity is needed at that time...

Best general advice... keep it light until the person out of work takes it to a heavier subject...

Ask them if they believe in Jesus then bite them.

I've read Trunk's stuff before. Some of it, especially when dealing with co-workers and bad bosses is almost useless and quite possibly counter-productive in the real world.

Don't remind them that they should have gotten an engineering degree rather than art history, english, philospophy or whatever other unmarketable degree they have.

Do pack them a phatty bowl.

IF they lost a meh or not great job buy them a beer, if they lost a good or great job, then get them a pitcher!