I tried to find Bill Bemister (from Seattle) on Facebook but did not come across anyone that sounded/looked like him. I suppose they finally came to their senses and took down the profile. I certainly hope so!

I am have a different, less serious problem: Facebook will not let me remove it as my opening page. I have tried every possible way I can think of. Does anyone know if this is possible to do? I find that Facebook takes a long time to load (probably because there are so many users), and would like to change to something else. So far no luck.

I don't think we fully understand the concept of social networking.

It is just an online extension of real life.

When someone dies, do we then also write a letter to all their friends asking them to please burn all letters they ever got from them, throw away pictures of them, etc? Erase them from existence all together?

Why should this page be deleted?

I think a little perspective is needed here.

If her nieces don't want to see their uncle in their friend list, they could block (colloquially called "unfriending") him, removing him from their friend lists. That would be a permanent solution, given the fact that no one would then be able to add them back when they become more accustomed to the grief.

Calm. Down. Please.

If you are praying that I never have to haggle with MySpace over trying to get a password for an account that is not my own, then your prayers are bound to work, since I think I've made it abundantly clear that I don't believe being dead gives you or anyone else the right to control and view anyone's personal accounts.

@SunnyLea: Yeah, bully them for not providing a password for a deceased relative. Great heart you have. I pray you never have to be put in an situation like mine.

What FB needs to do for the future is make their policy clear so there are no misunderstandings. And please make sure you have enough reps to handle these requests in a timely manner. I can see both sides on this and glad it is resolved now.

I think that there is a incredible amount of merit in having these accounts remain online. For me, I have a ton of friends that I would never really get a chance to speak to without Myspace (I don't do Facebook as of yet). I think it would be helpful if they knew I was dead before they sent me a shout telling me to check some crappy song out.
But, I think that, no matter what, if a family member asks to take the page down, then it should come down. No, there is no monopoly on grief, but let's be honest; who does it hit the hardest most of the time? Who is going to be tormented by your ghostly face more; the guy you had beer with, or the sister he spent his entire life growing up with?
I suppose Facebook would have to put something on their initial TOS that states whether you want it to remain in the case of your death, or if you give consent to so-and-so to take it down (after all, maybe my family hates me and all I have are friends).

"REAL" press, like CNN and MSNBC, amongst others ALWAYS send for the 'suspect's' comment. Usually it turns out like so:

"Calls to company x's office went unanswered, not immediately returned, responded that they don't comment on individual accounts".

It's possible Facebook would have never responded.

Myspace takes down your stuff without saying anything and Facebook REFUSES to take shit down. /yawn with these networking sites already.

Her particular case is somewhat unusual, in that her brother died before he "friended" her, and because as a Nazi hunter, his Facebook page could have attracted an unsavory element. Since she was not his "friend," she couldn't even see and monitor his page, and keep an eye out for hate speech that could be reported to the site's administration. (Although I'm not sure what their policy is on hate speech and whether they would delete it.)

She doesn't say whether she is the executor, but she says her brother only knew three women personally besides herself and her two daughters, and that she went to England for his memorial service, so I wouldn't be surprised if she is executor.

I think the executor should have the power to demand that it be taken down. If it is a situation where leaving the page up for a while is serving a good cause, i.e., giving people a place to cybergather and honor a deceased friend, I would hope the executor would allow it to remain for some time after the person died, and only take it down after a year or two.

If I'd wanted that I'd have given them the password to being with.

Bully for MySpace for not coughing up someone's personal information.

The word you are looking for is deceased. While being the diseased sometimes leads to being the deceased, they aren't one in the same. :)

Now that the page was removed... what about photos others created and posted containing this diseased? Is this person going to sue each and every one of them?

There's a lot of ethical questions here as you go deeper and deeper.

That said, IMHO removing traces of a dead persons existence is abhorrent to put it mildly.

Your family doesn't have a monopoly on grieving for the loss of someone nor do they have a monopoly on the way you will be seen to the world, especially if you have ever posted something online for friends to see. There were more people in the life of the deceased than just family and those people have just as much a right to grieve together online as the immediate family has the right to grieve at a funeral.

Now, if it was the significant other of the deceased, then control of the account itself should be passed to that person who can do with it what they please. If you have power of attorney over that person, you should have the right to control their facebook account. But if you cannot prove that you have that power, sorry, but it should stay up.

Also, I love your name. Let's run away to Canada and get married.

And by strangers, you mean "people he accepted as friends" and by "I and next of kin" you mean someone he does not acknowledge as a friend. This person sounds like they have a hidden agenda.

Now that Facebook has actually responded and provided a reasonable explanation for what happened, is anybody going to update the story?

@nick.sideras: The link has an extra period at the end. Just copy and paste it and remove the period.

That was sarcasm? Maybe you should take remedial lessons. It didn't even come close.

In this case, can understand how a sister might want to remove the page, but I believe that such action will require legal counsel.

If Facebook did shut down the page, the executor might complain saying that they still wanted it up as a memorial. This is why you just listen to the executor. So just have the executor email Facebook with their Letter of Authority.

Hopefully this post will get the message through to the thick-headed management at Facebook.

That said, social sites should give you some options. They could easily add an option to appoint a secondary person who becomes the executor of your account if you die. That person could decide if they want to delete the page, freeze it, or maintain the wall.

Irrespective of the law, I think the request of the family should be honored unless the will of the deceased explicitly states otherwise.

Having dealt with the death of both of my parents, I can well imagine how I would feel if they had a Facebook page which Facebook refused to delete.

Facebook, I think you are wrong on this one, and if it were my parent, I would be contacting a lawyer right now.

"When we are notified that a user has died, we will generally, but are not obligated to, keep the user's account active under a special memorialized status for a period of time determined by us to allow other users to post and view comments."

If they are not obligated to keep the page up and have received requests from the family to take down the page, I don't see why they are still keeping it up. What is even more unclear is what they consider to be an appropriate period of time to keep the profile up.

Perhaps they need to include an option upon sign up that asks what the user wants them to do with a profile upon being notified of a death. I'm honestly surprised they haven't done so already given how sensitive this subject is. It would be so simple for them to tell family/friends that they had to take down the profile or leave it up due to the user's request.

I run a small social network for artists, writers, musicians and such (impnow.com), and if someone produced a death certificate for that person, I would take down the profile in an instant. Let the dead guy complain. The rest of the family and his "friends" could erect their own memorial, but I'm not about to decide to take it upon myself to be the arbitor of what is appropriate. It's a social netork profile, for God's sake.

Alot of people use Mozilla Firefox as an internet browser it could be possible that he does too. And I know the person said that he is very far from him, but if there is a chance that they know someone who can get access to his computer or anywhere else where he logged in and this could work. Here goes.

Firefox saves any of the passwords you tell it to, and with a little bit of knowledge you could easily get to these passwords and possibly get someone to delete the account for you granted, like I said before, you have someone who can access a computer he logged onto facebook with.

But in the Tools menu of firefox go to Options. Then the Securty Tab and then in the password box click saved
passwords. This will show all the usernames for whenever a log in was required. Then just click show passwords and it will reveal all the passwords also.

Like I said this has alot of requirements but I'm just giving a possible option. Otherwise I wish you the best of luck in this ordeal.

Could have been. How'd you like it if a stranger claimed they were family and got your page pulled off the site? IMO, great policy Facebook. Just a shame about the miscommunication between user and support.

Glad to hear Facebook responded. When i die I want all my stuff left up. I might eventually invest in a safe and keep account information and password in it so when I go my next of kin will have that info to keep certain against alive or post of my passing.

Somehow, I don't think that'll be a problem.

In situations such as these, requests by families usually take preference, no matter what the status of the deceased. Besides, how could anyone possibly know what the deceased person had wanted?

Not that she should have to do this, but if I ever need a deceased relative's profile removed from Facebook, that's what I'd do. That being said, I'm gathering a list of my logins and passwords to put in my last will and testament, so that my profiles can be removed after my death.

Should google search results for the names of the deceased be removed? What about and public archive of Facebook's pages?

How do you know when a person dies that they would want their Facebook account deleted? I wouldn't. Why do you assume everyone is the same as you? You seemed to have missed the 'social' part of 'social networking'.

It's not 100% obvious when you actually think about it.

@ahoy-captain: I always thought it was really touching when after people at my College would die, their friends from school would leave messages of rememberance on their facebook walls. Often, the families of the deceased would thank they people leaving messages.

Maybe as more and more people get into social networking, they need to consider telling their loved ones what they want to happen to their accounts. It sounds like Stephanie's brother was really in to social networking, so maybe he would have wanted his "memorial?" The world will never know.

Still Facebook should not refuse to take it down with proof of death.

I had an issue with MySpace over my brother's death this past Aug. After he passed, I contacted MySpace asking for his password so we could access his site. I explained that my family would like to keep it active as a memorial page for him. They responded that they could either do nothing or delete it, but under no circumstances would they help with the password. I wrote back explaining that we could provider just about any type of proof of his death and we feel we have the right to be able to access his profile and once again they said no.

I can understand to a degree that they wouldn't want to give access to a profile to people that they don't know with documentaion that could be forgered, but on the flip side, they are willing to delete the profile with out any proof other than me saying he passed. It just doesn't seem right.

come on facebook...use some common sense...you feel that you have enough power to "memorialized this person's account" like if it's an internet graveyard...it's a 2nd life where people share their life and when they pass they become tombstones for people to remember them? you have no right to do this to family members or to even keep the data of dead people available on the web.

it's pitiful and disgusting.

What are you even talking about? I didn't complain about anything Facebook has done to me. When I registered for the site four years ago, I liked it. Now I do not, but I do not want to sacrifice the ease of communication with my friends, so I am encouraging them to register for other sites.

What does this have to do with "my information" and why do you even care?

Also I meant "disgusted" above, not disgusting, obviously. Thought I'd correct my typo.

Why can't they do the same for this guy?

Too bad he didn't allow FoF before he kicked the bucket...

So there really is a big difference between Facebook denying a relative's takedown request and an obituary.

Fair?
No. Yes. Maybe. It depends. What if the nearest living relative is 'Crazy' Uncle Ernie, whom you haven't interacted in 20 years?

Legal?
Um, are you basing this on firsthand/legal knowledge or the typical internet attitude of "citing sources is 4 n00bs"?

"Our policy in situations such as these is to memorialize your brother's profile, which means that we remove all but the basic information and his picture. After thirty days, his profile will be removed from the site. This is primarily to protect the account from would-be intruders."

So I guess they have had a change of mind ...

@digitalgimpus: There is no such law.

N.B. This is not legal advice, if you need legal advice seek competent counsel in your jurisdiction.

Uh, dude? Lrn2sarcasm more, kthx.

I sincerely doubt that this merits a class action suit; my point was I can see someone filing one over this. I guess the subtlety was...er, too subtle for you.

@aguacarbonica: And how much do you pay for facebook? Who forced you to post your information there?

@LadySiren: Who is the class? What are the damages?

Please, stop yelling class action everytime somebody does something you don't like.

There may be an individual action, however I doubt it will get that far. A letter from the lawyer representing the executrix to the counsel for the site should have satisfy any concerns the site has about removing the content of the deceased.

Honestly Ben, I love the consumerist but this post was totally sensationalized and not properly fact-checked. If you want to maintain the respect of companies and the press (RE: all the press you got over the facebook TOS shenanigans), you'll need to do your homework a bit more. At least email some at facebook to get their side of the story before posting. You knew they'd be quick to respond after all that bad PR earlier this week.

Just my 2c...

But if the family wants it taken down, Facebook needs to do the right thing and take it down.

"We're so sorry to learn of the death of your friend/relative, please let us know how we can help you.

_ remove their entire profile, including pictures, wall, posted items, personal information, etc.

_ "memorialize" their profile, leaving some pictures (that you can decide upon), the wall, and some other key features in tact.

Thank you and once again our condolences on your loss. Sincerely, the Facebook team."

I mean, how hard is that to send to someone, especially after they've already sent proof of death.

Unfortunately if I was in her position I don't know what I'd do. No one can really say how she wants (or doesn't want) his memory honoured or why and what makes it "right" or "wrong", but in the end she ultimately doesn't want a facebook page open. She attempted to get it closed through the company, and that didn't work. It's drastic, but letting the internet know about it may actually get it resolved...though I admit the price may not be worth it. I do question....if you really don't want non-family and friends to abuse the listing, and you want to move on without the memories lingering, is letting the internet know really going to help that?

Invoking the geek doctrine ftw.

I agree that it's a difficult situation. People look at it in different ways. The author obviously sees leaving the page up as a terrible thing, but not everyone would agree. A guy I know passed away a few years back. Someone immediately got on and deleted his Facebook page. I know at least one of his friends was kind of upset and offended that they would just delete it like that. And another friend remade a memorial page to him. While that's just a single personal example, I have seen quite a few other memorial pages on Myspace as well. While they should probably honor his next-of-kin's wishes over anyone's, I can see the dilemma. Some people make take just as big of offense to deleting the page as she takes to leaving it up.

This seems to be the story behind most blogs in general.

It's not like this would be hard for Facebook to implement. They have, in the past, made scripts to force the entire population to conform to some new registration requirement.

I smell class action lawsuit. Good lord, is everyone at their PR firm out on vacation this week, or what?!

Someone please pass Facebook the clue biscuits, with jam.

"However, as I mentioned, we're happy to close the account, too, if the person identifies themselves as someone who should have that authority."

See? There ya go. Once again we find that Consumerist conveniently fails to get the whole story before going off half-cocked.

There goes Ben Popken again - making assertions with no basis amd saying stuff he knows nothing about. Help us out here, Ben: What law are you referring to?

When we find out a user is deceased, we automatically memorialize an account. Users can also ask to have an account memorialized here: [www.facebook.com] This means that it is frozen (no more friends can be added) and the privacy options are made more strict (friends only). The vast majority of people who contact us about deceased friends want these records maintained so that they and others can remember and celebrate the person. Here is an example: [www.nytimes.com] However, as I mentioned, we're happy to close the account, too, if the person identifies themselves as someone who should have that authority.
Sorry for the confusion.

Barry Schnitt
Facebook Communications

However, I think that if his family wanted to remove his profile, they should be able to do so. I can understand that Facebook believes that "memorializing" a person's page is an appropriate default action. I have no problem with that. But I think that a deceased person's family's wishes should be paramount and therefore, Facebook should have a method for removing a page at the next-of-kin's request.

@Ber'Zophus: You do have a point, but where does this end? Should we scrub everything of the "memory" of deceased ones? Should we scrub billing records so that when one of her daughters buys something, his name doesn't show up?

For crying out loud, she is disrespecting his memory by choosing such a silly place for a fight. Now her daughters can not only remember him by his facebook page, but also the length news reports, and internet postings, and perhaps lawsuit. That's a nice thought.

@SpiderJerusalem:

As tongue in cheek as this is.... it's not a bad idea.

@richcreamerybutter: My new DNR will read as follows:

In the event of my death, DNR me or my facebook page. Keep my myspace though, cause I never liked facebook anyway.

@enm4r:

Then Facebook should take on the new policy of:

"We only display living people." Then the whole debate is done.

I find memorial facebook pages extremely creepy anyway.

@MrPibbistheGreatestSodaEver: You had a phone? Lucky.

As I understand it, if I take a picture, I own the copyright to that picture if it is of myself.

If you die, isn't it fair to assume the copyright rights go to the family? Anything on that facebook listing belongs to this lady's brother.

Is it so wrong of her to ask Facebook to 'return' it or to remove it. I mean... they are trying to say they don't own it, but by leaving his page up they are effectively saying that they now own it since he is no longer... alive. :-(

It sure does put people in an awkward situation.

@JustThatGuy3: She sent them a copy of his death certificate and she can't even get them to take it down. :( At this point, it doesn't look like they would care if she is the executive of his estate.

Good job Facebook - nice slap in the face to this guy's family.

In case of your untimely demise (check one):
"Remove all mention of me from the site immediately"
"Notify everyone in my network, so they can save any photos or comments they want and then delete my profile."
"IMMORTALIZE ME, BEETCHES!"

As you state, it's really the executor of the estate that has the right anyway....but even if she weren't, I don't think some decency to the people closest affected is out of the question.

This person should take comfort in the fact that a part of her brother's life lives on.

That said, it is presumptuous of her to believe she has the right to take it down. Her brother legally entered into a contract with facebook which states this is their policy on pages after a death.

Whether she likes it or not, it was an agreement her brother accepted. She is not an applicable party to this legally.

i think you mean 1.000 and i'm not sure if the page should come down just because one family member wants it to come down.

i think the difficulty comes from who facebook gives control of the account to, who gains the right to exercise removing or memorializing the page.

It's not just ethics, but the law.

Ok, I'm calling the bluff. Can someone specifically cite this law in either the state of CA, Del (where incorporated) or Federal law?

AFAIK there's nothing dictating where a deceased persons name can or can't be used after death. For example anyone can list a persons name as diseased in a periodical. You don't need permission.

If it's not true of course it could be libel. There's no "right" to control use of a name post death.

IMHO this is no different than any other publication publishing an obituary or listing the name as diseased without consent of executor.

If she's just "a relative" making this demand then it's not so clear. I can think of plenty of my relatives that I don't want to have any say over my stuff when I'm gone, even the electronic bits.

How is this issue not 100% obvious?

@JustThatGuy3: ya. shes proabably "THAT" family member.

I think it is selfish to choose that you want the page taken down for your own reasons. Think about how people might feel that would like to send the deceased a message of some sort even if it is just a Happy birthday on Facebook.

I agree with the consensus -- Facebook's policy isn't bad as a fallback, but if she's the executor of the estate, then they should honor it.

I also think Facebook should think seriously about the long-term implications of ALWAYS keeping EVERY dead user's information up forever.

Everyone should do the same. I remember how we networked before teh internets. We picked up the phone, and we called someone.

Of course people involved online need to think about what happens to their online life when they die. Things like what you want done with online networking profiles should be a part of one's will. At the very least make sure a loved one has your username and password.

And if another family member wanted the page to stay up? What would facebook do then?

Unfortunately death brings about many problems, and certainly this is one of societies newer ones. The executor's checklist should now include "determine what to do with social networking sites."

As most people have probably seen first hand, families do not always agree after the death of a loved one, and Facebook should not be expected to be forced to choose which family member is the right family member to take direction from.

If the executor, the person now legally in control of the deceased persons affairs, says "take it down" it should come down, end of discussion.

Perhaps a short letter from a lawyer would get Facebook's attention and get them to remove the page.

I feel for the poster, I really do. However, unless they are legally the person responsible for his affairs, there is nothing you can do, and bullying Facebook won't do anything.

Also, did they remove the sensitive items? That should be your focus, not dictating to others how you want to them to remember such a remarkable person.

Lastly, let people remember him the way they want. Perhaps some people would like to see how he touched others, or would feel better in their pain to see they are not alone in mourning him. If his friend list is full of people he has never met, then this is probably the only way they can remember him.
To summarize: it is not yours to control.

If she's the executor of his estate, then she should certainly be able to get the page taken down. If she's not, then she shouldn't be, since it's the job of the executor to carry out the deceased's wishes.

I'm glad Ms. Bemister is smart enough to see through that. Sorry Facebook, you can't win this one.

However, a request from a family member should probably take precedence. But it's not 100 percent obvious.

Dying on social networks is an issue society is going to have to learn its way though.

Wow I would get a lawyer on that one asap. thats just plain wrong.