var json_comments = new Array("

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formatc

February 3, 2009 10:55 PM

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My signature is basically my first initial followed by a line, and when buying shoes from DSW once it rejected my signature and said it wasn't long enough. The cashier had no way to override the error so I drew a smiley face after my signature to make it happy.

2 replies

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egoods

February 4, 2009 3:20 PM

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@formatc: Same thing goes for RadioShack. When I worked there I would have to tell people to scribble a little more. I would also (and I know consumerists hate this) occasionally check ID. But any time I bought anything from the store I would write a funny message to my manager. Good times (burn in hell RadioShack, burn in helllll!)

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KMan13 still wants a Pontiac G8

February 4, 2009 3:07 AM

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@formatc:
There are some places where the signature will pop up on the screen for the clerk to view before accepting, like MicroCenter. But, any place I know that can't see it, I scribble funny things.
I also scribble funny things on the UPS driver's computer.

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February 3, 2009 10:57 PM

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Thanks guys, just sprayed my water all over the screen laughing so hard.

Manager: (quietly) You drew a penis on my credit card machine.

The credit card machine has been defiled!

10 replies

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February 4, 2009 3:17 PM

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@nicemarmot617: YOU HAVE VIOLATED THE SANCTITY OF MY CREDIT CARD MACHINE!!!

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February 4, 2009 3:51 AM

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@nicemarmot617: That was the part that made me laugh, too. =)

I can just picture the guy, standing there, head tilted toward the box, eyes rolling up to look at the guy, as he said those words.

This description should be in every English class: details are key to good writing!

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February 4, 2009 7:32 AM

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@goodywitch: Some guy tried this where I work, but the manager called him on it right away.

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SacraBos

February 4, 2009 1:40 AM

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@nicemarmot617: How dare you, sir! It's a lighthouse shaped gummi-bear!

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coan_net

February 3, 2009 11:34 PM

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@nicemarmot617: I started laughing also - I rarely follow a link to the blog - but this story sounds funny enough... I just have to read more.

CLASSIC!

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audemars

February 3, 2009 11:57 PM

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@coan_net: I read a story on some other blog a year or so ago about a dude who went around writing \"Did Not Authorize\" in his signature box. It wasn't until he tried to buy $5,000 worth of crap from BBY that somebody spoke up.

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February 4, 2009 1:07 PM

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@audemars: I read that too. Got the link from Consumerist. It was the same basic idea. He started with doodles and just kept pushing the envelope to see how far he could go. This is hilarious though.

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February 4, 2009 1:36 PM

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@TinkishDelight: I believe you're thinking of Zug.com. The guy who runs that site did a fairly extensive test of this 2-3 years back at least.

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ameyer

February 4, 2009 12:29 AM

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@audemars: Actually, it was Circuit City.
And it was over $16000

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bohemian

February 3, 2009 11:22 PM

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@nicemarmot617: What if his name is Richard?

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February 4, 2009 3:26 PM

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@bohemian: Or his last name is Wiener. Or Wang.

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lihtox

February 4, 2009 4:11 PM

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@kerry: Maybe he's Richard Wang?

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February 3, 2009 11:00 PM

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@nicemarmot617: At least it was just the screen.

I'm on day 9 of a brutal cold and this made me laugh so hard it set off a painful coughing jag.

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February 3, 2009 11:11 PM

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@kateblack: Yeah, he could've whipped it out so they could verify

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jozhua

February 3, 2009 10:58 PM

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Wow yeah. That would've been great if it matched the back of his card.

1 replies

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February 3, 2009 11:02 PM

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@jozhua: He says he plans to sign the credit card like that in the future. So they DO match.

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mythago

February 3, 2009 11:01 PM

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That poor manager probably has middle-school kids at home. He has to put up with juvenile jokes about body parts at home, and now he has to deal with it at work?!

1 replies

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Sorentso

February 4, 2009 12:04 AM

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@mythago: It's target. I would think it is expected.

Still not cool though. I just wouldn't work there.

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Lucky225

February 3, 2009 11:02 PM

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LOLOLOLOL I play with Wal-Mart a lot since they often ask for ID instead of checking the signature. So I made a game out of it, I'd show them a different card (like a mastercard instead of the visa I used) with my ID. Sometimes when doing this I'd write stuff like 'Check This Signature - Not ID', which looks awesome on receipts over $100 mark that show the signature on walmart receipts. I think I'll try the genetelia next.

1 replies

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Irashtar

February 5, 2009 5:14 AM

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@Lucky225: Psst, they can't, as per the merchant agreement, ask for ID.

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February 3, 2009 11:04 PM

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There was some other 'tube funnyman that did a similar thing a while back. If I'm remembering correctly he signed his CC receipts 'Ra, God of the Sun' and other things. I don't recall the credit company ever complaining.

2 replies

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slater

February 3, 2009 11:31 PM

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@howie_in_az: It was John Hargrave at Zug.com. [www.zug.com]

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February 4, 2009 2:35 PM

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@slater: yup, zug.com

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February 3, 2009 11:08 PM

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I've often wondered how much checking those digital terminals do and what it'd take to get them to reject a signature. The resolution on them is quite poor.

2 replies

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February 4, 2009 2:40 PM

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@FLConsumer: it's not checked at all (except at the register). this is done for record retention, not really security.

if you've ever worked retail, you can attest to the 14' high stack of boxes that sits in a corner in the backroom. no one has ever looked in these boxes & few people besides the manager realizes what they're for - housing a half-decade of credit card transactions on the off-chance that a copy request comes thru.

using this system, if someone performs a chargeback, you get to dig thru a year's worth of transactions to find that magical receipt that will prove it's a valid transaction (i've done it - it sucks). w/ electronic pads, all that information is housed in a data facility & can be retrieved almost instantaneously.

that's their primary purpose. of course, if you're not comparing signatures, it's pretty pointless to retain any proof of signature.

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Warll

February 3, 2009 11:15 PM

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@FLConsumer: They don't do any, your sig is kept in a file and printed in hard copy at night. Only reviewed if you dispute a charge.

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Raekwon

February 3, 2009 11:10 PM

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I was at a ToysRUs once and their machine was broken. No matter what you wrote it would just fill in the screen solid black. That was when I figured nobody really checked those.

1 replies

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February 3, 2009 11:15 PM

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@Raekwon: I was at Giant today and theirs wasn't working right...cashier indicated they knew it was broke and most people either signed a paper receipt or would just scribble something when dealing with that particular terminal. Really doesn't see like they cared.

(and for the record, I've signed \"X\" on those at different places a few times...didn't make a difference...nobody cares)

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Keter

February 3, 2009 11:10 PM

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I've been tempted to mess with the signature stuff myself. Thanks for the best laugh I've had in while. I'll bet his \"artwork\" is currently on the bulletin board in the offices, and may make it into a training manual. Classic!

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Ronald Riley

February 3, 2009 11:11 PM

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@ howie_in_az:

Indeed. Find the whole funny story here:

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EnderVR46

February 3, 2009 11:12 PM

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There was a write up about something like this a while back. I haven't written my name on one of those machines since reading it. Though I've never done this either :)

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EnderVR46

February 3, 2009 11:13 PM

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oops, that link is the article I mentioned. Not my blog or anything.

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calquist

February 3, 2009 11:17 PM

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My boyfriend always signed Mickey Mouse and other dumb stuff. Nothing has ever come of it yet. I usually just use the nail of my finger to do some random squiggles.

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corinthos

February 3, 2009 11:18 PM

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I've been writing Winnie the Pooh on those things for awhile now. Probably 90% of my transactions and its even on the back of some of my cards. Never once have had anything said.

I love the old ones with the black backgrounds that you can see what previous people signed really hard. You can see some disturbing stuff on some of then.

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ludwigk

February 3, 2009 11:19 PM

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I will sometimes put a smiley face with its tongue sticking out next to my signature. I haven't gotten any problems with that, yet.

If I'm carrying something in my dominant hand, I'll sign with the wrong hand. This takes a lot of effort, since its not my writing hand, and the results always look nothing like my signature.

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February 3, 2009 11:20 PM

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Thank goodness no one will ever have to deal with Circuit City's ancient POS signature capture system. You know, the one where they slide the bottom part of the 4-foot long receipt into the plastic frame, and you sign directly on the paper but it somehow transmits your signature to the box beneath it? Those things never work, either when I worked there or when I was a customer, and you'd end up having to sign over your own signature seven scribbly times until the computer accepted it. Good riddance!

1 replies

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corinthos

February 3, 2009 11:47 PM

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@LastVigilante: I thought that was only my local one. I always thought it was funny an electronics dealer had those ancient machines and looked so out of place.

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bohemian

February 3, 2009 11:27 PM

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Janis Joplin and other random famous people have been known to use my card at the Walmart self checkout. You can write pretty much anything on some of these card machines.

Never mind my normal signature makes the machines go nuts at certain stores. Oh, and I can't use a debt card or write a check at Old Navy until I guess correctly what old former phone number they have on file as matching my card.

The entire retail POS system is a joke.

2 replies

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February 4, 2009 6:12 PM

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@bohemian: Then \"POS\" isn't just a clever name!

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February 4, 2009 3:13 PM

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@bohemian: Debt card, eh? Freudian slip? Broken sentence am me? :P

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Darkest Daze

February 3, 2009 11:27 PM

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You guys need to post the whole story on your site, because you totally destroyed this guys blog.

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evslin

February 3, 2009 11:37 PM

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I'm signing as Pepsuber next time I go to Wally World/Target/etc.

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warf0x0r

February 3, 2009 11:42 PM

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I used to draw a middle finger sticking up when I worked at BBY every time I made a purchase.

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February 3, 2009 11:50 PM

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At some places, I don't think it's the signature so much as the act of signing that matters. Where I work, they use similar EFT terminals (by Veriphone, I think) and if you look at the computers in the back where transactions records are kept, when you pull up an order, the agreement begins \"By signing below, I hereby authorize...\" etc. etc.

1 replies

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February 3, 2009 11:56 PM

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@karmaghost:
Then I will sign: I do not authorize this.

either that or: \"UNDER DURESS\"

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KevinQ

February 3, 2009 11:58 PM

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This is good to know. I, also, have recently taken to drawing pictures instead of signing my name. Mostly, it's pictures of trees and houses, like something a kindergartner would be proud of.

It would be horribly embarrassing to get caught drawing dirty pictures on a signature machine. It would probably be even more embarrassing to be with somebody else who got caught drawing dirty pictures on the signature machine.

K

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Bizdady

February 4, 2009 12:06 AM

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Link dead :(

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tripnman

February 4, 2009 12:11 AM

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Yuppers. Amazing how a penis cartoon can fry one's server so quickly.

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February 4, 2009 12:13 AM

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Warning: the image after the jump is cartoonishly NSWF in a Comcast-at-the-Superbowl sort of way.

Never Sign With (F)allus?

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February 4, 2009 12:19 AM

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Try this Google cached text-only version of the post.

[74.125.77.132]

1 replies

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February 4, 2009 6:11 AM

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@Chris Walters: Any other options? Google cache is blocked here (China).

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dohtem

February 4, 2009 12:25 AM

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The guys behind Zug.com tried something similar a while ago.

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offbeat

February 4, 2009 12:28 AM

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i do this all the time. except i draw a full on penis and a girl's head on the other side.
i've never had a problem with a manager and if i did, i would take my transaction elsewhere.
sometimes a good laugh is worth just walking away empty handed on a transaction :P

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ajlei

February 4, 2009 12:36 AM

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This sort of prank was done and blogged about a long time ago...

still, it's fun to see an alternate version.

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February 4, 2009 12:49 AM

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I can't tell if this was already left in the comments, but I like this site's version of \"funny credit card signatures\" a lot better from years ago:

[www.zug.com]
[www.zug.com]

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February 4, 2009 1:02 AM

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I often write stuff like \"I am your heathen goddess\"or sign religious figures names. No one's ever called me out on it.

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redhelix

February 4, 2009 1:05 AM

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When I worked at BBY, on a slow night I bought a soda with credit and drew a very elaborate, detailed picture of a spaceship orbiting the earth while the cashier was engaged in a conversation. I said \"ready\" when I was finally done, expecting the cashier to actually look at what was on the signature screen considering how long I'd taken to do it. He just tapped the approve button and off it went. Still have the receipt.

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February 4, 2009 1:08 AM

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hmm, perhaps if he followed up by drawing a condom over the penis the manager woulda been satisfied???

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February 4, 2009 1:09 AM

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@calquist: me too :) nice to see not the only one. dh thinks it's nuts.

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Cocotte

February 4, 2009 1:14 AM

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From what I understand, signatures are NOT used to authorise the purchase - they're to have on file in case a purchase is contested, at which point it is compared to the one that the CC company has on file to see if it looks like yours or not.

That said, considering the chargeback potential, stores are mad not to check.

1 replies

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NumberFourtyThree

February 4, 2009 4:20 AM

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@Cocotte:
Well, if someone was determined to use a different signature so the chargeback would stick, they could just put a matching signature on the card itself that was totally different from what the credit card company has on file, and the cashier would never be the wiser.

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ElizabethD

February 4, 2009 2:09 AM

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\"My balls itch\" FTW! This guy is great.

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HungryTuna

February 4, 2009 2:26 AM

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I hate the registers that display your signature (BestBuy has these). It's always embarrassing how poorly I sign my name on the electronic machines

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Anonymous

February 4, 2009 3:06 AM

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Well this is going to end within the next 10 years... Canada will be using Chip and PIN for CC verification by 2011, and I'm sure that the US will follow when we send all of our CC fraud south of the border.

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Jamaces

February 4, 2009 3:39 AM

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you don't even have to do it on your credit signatures...I know receiving parts at work every day i draw things on the handhelds where my signature is supposed to go.

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Anonymous

February 4, 2009 4:06 AM

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zug.com already did this thing http://www.zug.com/pranks/credit/

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February 4, 2009 4:26 AM

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Signature on credit cards a safety feature?
That is pure Phallusy.

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smint

February 4, 2009 6:28 AM

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I just make a squiggle to get past the screen.

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February 4, 2009 6:42 AM

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I guess I should stop playing with the electro-signature. I've been tempted to dick around with restaurant receipts, since I'll be long gone once they get around to it, but those also have my tip recorded, so I figure that wouldn't be a wise playground.

No, signatures on receipts are not meant as verification, only the signature on the actual card. Actually, most signatures you'll make in your lifetime can be substituted with squiggles and penis sketches and still be legally valid.

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February 4, 2009 6:59 AM

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I've been writing out the first seven notes of \"Jingle Bells\" with a full G-Clef and everything for several years now at Safeway. I've actually gotten quite fast at it.

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Justifan

February 4, 2009 7:31 AM

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they don't check anything. its just a matter of complexity sometimes. perhaps if he drew some hairs on those balls it would have passed right away. the only reason they make you sign is so the liability for the purchase is on the credit card company. if they don't require signature they take the liability themselves.

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TheGuinnessTooth

February 4, 2009 12:35 PM

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I'm a big fan of writing \"Fuck Wal-Mart\" everytime I use one of their self check out machines. If I'm some place a bit more wholesome I might draw some mushrooms and stars in homage to Mario Bros.

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SMART599

February 4, 2009 12:54 PM

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kingpin = HERO !

any self respecting man would have done the same !

(sorry bout your blog lol)

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Dooley

February 4, 2009 1:22 PM

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I like this guy.

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boxiom

February 4, 2009 1:36 PM

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I sign a picture of a nice house, with a smoking chimney, a little sidewalk, a nice big red door with a golden handle, and a gorgeous window with some flowers going through photosynthesis.

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David in Brasil

February 4, 2009 1:51 PM

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Oh, it's too bad his name's not Dick....

I signed \"Rev. Al Sharpton\" for years and nobody ever said a word.

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February 4, 2009 2:45 PM

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Hey, I just noticed there are 69 comments on this thread...What? Really? Oh, never mind.

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Truthosaurus Rex

February 4, 2009 4:58 PM

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I've never encountered a machine that worked well enough to even draw my first initial. The pen doesn't work, or the screen is warped. how did this guy manage to draw a penis?

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February 4, 2009 5:48 PM

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I think I'm going to do the \"Ra, god of the sun\" thing next time...

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Bog

February 4, 2009 10:53 PM

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Actually, for that instant he could legally (in some sates) that that was his signature.

For example; in this state, your \"signgature\" dosn't have to be your written or signed name. The law merely says \"''Signature'' includes any memorandum, mark, or sign made with intent to authenticate any instrument or writing, or ....;\" it is the intent that counts.

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Smd75

February 4, 2009 11:26 PM

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I was doing smily faces for a little while, no problems

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ShizaMinelli

February 5, 2009 7:38 PM

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All my cards clearly say \"CHECK ID\", in thin sharpie, so when they don't I've written things like \"You didn't check ID\" or innapropriate things like otehrs have described. I've heard that merchants can't check ID regularly, but what if it's at the request of the customer? I find it ridiculous that you can sign ANYTHING and rarely is anythings said.

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February 8, 2009 3:09 AM

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On this topic, for a LOT of really good laughs: [www.zug.com]

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Cyfun

February 8, 2009 6:44 PM

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Some guy named Turd Ferguson always signs for me.

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February 9, 2009 9:42 PM

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I figured out it didn't matter at all a while ago when my friend's wife signed for a pizza we had ordered while I was in the bathroom. Now when I'm in a festive mood I'll scribble all over the receipt.

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