@RedwoodFlyer: "They say you can't joke about rape, I say Fuck you I think it's hillarious"

USAir is the worst airline in the history of airlines. An hour and a half flight to Vegas turned into an all day excursion with a stop in Fresno for three fucking hours.

Did you miss the hissy fit that a commenter threw when a Consumerist used the term rape in the OP? Grow a pair and move on.

All teethy-like at the stewardess...

I have a second cousin who attended a "Ronald Reagan HS" in Texas.

This person was obviously referring to an internal list, not the TSA's infamous "No Fly" list. It's also deplorable action on the part of the employees. It's quite apparent to me (20+ years of airline work in my previous career) that their reservations people have been reduced to drones that read off canned speeches and look at word lists because they have no authority, no common sense and no job security.

I grieve for the industry I once loved.

HAHAHAHHAH. It's finally happened. The robots are taking over. Searching for "key" words and arguing over miniscule syntax like the difference between "angry" and "grumpy"? The CS person might as well said....

"BZZZZZZTTT. Keyword/phrase *ANGRY*....ATTEMPTING TO QUARRANTINE. BZZZZZZZT".

That's it. I'm traveling by mule next time i go anywhere out of state (or even overseas...worth the risk than THIS heartache).

@Saboth:

Take Two:

After being cleared from US Air's no-fly list, James thought everything was great, until he tried to board the plane.

James: I told you change my ticket...

Ticket Agent: What?

James: You heard me... change the ticket...

Ticket Agent: Ummm sir, i dont have the approval to do that... Have a good flight.

James: Change the damn ticket!

Ticket Agent: Sir Im calling security!

James: but that will make me angry...

Ticket Agent: Sir your already angry! Back away Sir!

James: You wont like me when im angry... (Shirt rips turns green)

Take 3:

After being cleared from US Air's no-fly list, James thought everything was great, until he tried to board the plane.

James: Here you go.

Ticket Agent: Umm sir, please step to the side.

James: Is something wrong with my ticket?

Ticket Agent: *On the Phone* Yeah, im gonna need security down here... There's 30 people in this no fly line and they all yellin at me sayin they want they tickets fixed and junk. I aint got time to be dealin with this madness.

James: *Low Voice* Madness?

Ticket Agent: Hold on, what did you say sir?

James: This Is Sparta! *Kicks ticket down access ramp*

Yeah...it's the "get to the choppa" kid. Priceless. (Google it)

I suppose we'll have to be angry on the "inside" now.

My therapist is going to love me.

@GirlCat:
And let me guess, you are one of those people with a false sense of entitlement?

How do you know what the CSR's attitude is?
Are you a CSR/Flight attendant?

With the size of the chip you have on your shoulder, I'm not surprised that people treat you like that.

People like you bring this sort of treatment on yourselves.

I work in customer service, I love my job. But I hate dealing with self-important people like yourself.

There's a very simple rule to follow when dealing with ANY type of customer service agent.

Be nice. Be compassionate. Be a human being, and we will go out of our way to make whatever service you are enjoying that much more pleasant.

It's really just that simple.

@rpm773:
Mad...? Oh! You mean the flight crew.

Yeah, they are fun to fly with.

@TheStonepedo: Actually to get to preferred status today, most people have to have flied during the good old days of free drinks.

But clearly you don't travel frequently for your job to realize all the perks that come with getting upgraded to first class.

When speaking to a CSR, I never say something like "angry, grrrrr!" I try to lighten things up by making up ridiculous words. "As you can understand, I'm a bit be-fickled."

What's "be-fickled" mean? I dunno, but it tends to lighten things up...unless the CSR barely speaks English.

I've yet to try that little tactic on a live audience though.

</wince> You mean National Airport?

Many Washingtonians continue to be very angr... er, I mean to say nonplussed, that Congress bullied us into renaming our city's airport after that fiscally hapless senescent who in the days of his power showed us so much contempt. May I commend to you and everyone the older appelation "National"?

Thanks for the AWESOME pic, Alex. I about fell out of my chair. :)

(Sorry)

Click on it. $$$

@Triborough: That's BS, Embraer makes great airplanes, Airbus is another story.

Compare that to Jet Blue where they gave me a credit for the difference good for a future flight. Seems fair to me. Too bad I have so many miles on US and Jet blue doesn't fly out of Reagan...

@picardia: I seriously doubt a phone rep can put someone on the real no fly list. More likely she put a note in the file that might pop up at a check-in counter- "customer angry." Then when he scans his way on the plane, perhaps the agent glances up to see if he looks like a problem. But probably not even that much.

Unless the guy was being seriously abusive on the phone to the point of raising questions about his stability (which isn't out of the question), this sounds like an abuse of power on the part of the phone agent. Being placed on the no-fly list can screw with your travel plans for years and years. Remember that woman whose toddler has the same name as somebody on the list? She couldn't get him to her parents' for Thanksgiving because, you know, we can't be too careful about two-year-olds who might be terrorists.

If you are working at a call center, how can they call you anything regarding your color?

"Excuse me, but you sound black...are you black?" "Yeeeeah mofo...I be black, whatchu gonna say bout it?"

"...baring my member mid-flight and "tinkling" on every fellow passenger..."

As long as you don't tell them you're pissed off.

*so long as your disgruntled state does not involve anger

"Noooo!!! I said I was HUNGRY!!!"

"I agree." "Book 'im, Danno."

@lalaland13: Cabins will now be sealed and G-23 Paxilon Hydrochlorate will be pumped in to maximize peaceful human exchanges.

@mac-phisto: It's a soacial experiment to see if the agents respond to everything as a threat or if they are just as affected by popular media and racist stereotypes as everyone else. Reactions will vary by airport and agent. Probably not wise to do this all vigilante style, but it would be neat to see the results.

@HogwartsAlum: Yeah, I'd be angry if I had to sit next to him on a flight!!!

Working at a call center, I can tell you this guy deserved it. People think they can racist, demeaning too you if something does not go exactly their why but when you use a threatening word or are racist to the rep I wish I could put a person on a, "No Fly List."

You all might not agree but the call center where I work currently, they tell you the person can be racist call you a nigger, spick, fag or whatever and you got to take it even if it is completely uncalled for.

@rpm773: That's because "mad" is a colloquial term for "mentally ill", and we can't discriminate against them, now, can we?

Our veneer is showing signs of wear.

A show of hands, please, from those having increasingly frequent thoughts of a coming s-storm.

But I, for one, vote with my wallet and the Internet: No repeat business and lots and lots of bad press for companies that treat me badly. I'll do without your product/service and save a little money.

"Okay. Right now, I'm kinda like a powder keg, and you're the match."

I'm also picturing a TSA agent ordering everyone to "Smile!" as they go through the security show.

Thanks for making me ROTFL.

ROTFLMAO! It amazes me what passes for "customer service" these days. We have now officially become a society afraid of words.

So who here wants to sit next to Pissed-Off guy on their next flight? A security risk, ok, probably not. But a potential customer service (ie, the other, non-whiny customers) issue, certainly. I'm tired of people getting what they want by threatening to be unpleasant, causing a disturbance, and generally throwing a temper-tantrum.

And hasn't fluctuating ticket prices been pretty well known about for decades? His fee for knowing that the flight wasn't sold out turned out to be $150. Besides, the guy behind him probably paid $200 more than he did- should he be "angry" on the flight too?

This latest installment of security theatre brought to you by a bunch of people who have no idea what they are doing...

I really wish the government would stop bailing companies out so CEOs who choose to reward/participate in moronic behaviour would finally see their businesses fail and companies run in a reasonable manner could take their place.

@mac-phisto: See? That's why you have to make sure under no circumstances to use gutterals in any language as that will almost assuredly be taken as Arabic by security personnel who have probably only heard the language in comedy sketches and movies.

Yiddish on the other hand is a European / Jewish influenced dialect that most people have heard one or two words of already. Use the right accent and you can probably pass yourself off as someone from NYC. Or at worst, a sterotypical Jew who will then be considered very non-offensive because of the copius amount of stereotypical Jewish humor.

There's a madness to my method. ;)

I'll kill him softly with his song...

I couldn't help thinking of some red face boggle eyed man screaming over the ticketing counter.. lawl.

@GeorgetteAgamedes: Automatic upgrades to "First" Class on domestic flights for preferred members.

Why people bother to fly US Airways is beyond me, they nickle and dime for everything yet their fare is almost never cheapest.

I can think of about a couple of dozen other words they should be looking for, but angry? Seriously?

Next time, try using descriptions in another language like, say, Yiddish. The insults mixed with English are just funny sounding enough that you'll come off as a non-threat and even make them feel bad if they try to ground you for no apparent reason. No clue if it will work or not, just thought it would be funny to try out.

what i have a problem with is that said security officer doesn't tase the piss out of any ticketing agent that would approach him/her with a complaint such as this.

seriously, TSA agents. i know the competency boat sailed a long, long time ago, & there's no way you're gonna catch up to it, but at least look at it this way: you get to use your taser.

@frodo_35:
No prob, so long as you're not angry! Killing them softly is okey-dokey.

I know I am....

"Yes, Ms. Customer Service Rep in Bangalore, I'm going to be absolutely delighted to be on your flight that I paid $150 more than the fine gentleman sitting next to me. Nothing could make me feel happier than the knowledge that I'm helping US Airwaves in their time of need to stay afloat. I appreciate the opportunity to be of assistance."

ED-209: "HALT! PRESENT BOARDING TICKET!"

James: "Here you go."

ED-209: "SECOND REQUEST: PRESENT BOARDING TICKET!"

James: "But, I have it right here..."

ED-209: "SECURITY BREACH! SECURITY BREACH!"

*BOOM* *BOOOM* *Machine gun fire*

Ticket agent: "Well, I guess Mr. Anger will think twice before trying to fly with us again!"

"It tells you all that, does it?"

"Sir, the needle just went off the gauge, security, get me ED-209"

If I have to do linguistic acrobatics to tell them that I'm terribly displeased with their service without getting flagged as some kind of CONSUMER TERRIST, they're obviously putting customer service on the lowest level of importance.

I mean, who knows how many synonyms of "angry" they're looking for? Enraged? Irate? Infuriated? Apoplectic? Do they have thesaurus.com at the ready in case somebody hits on a word they might not know?

Making the word "angry" an automatic red-flag is ridiculous and is analogous to saying any email with the world 'newsletter' is spam.

Frankly, this seems to be an abuse of power. "You don't like us? Oh, then you're not flying with us. Ever. Or any of our sister and partner airlines."

The FAA should put their foot down on this practice.

I guess that word will kill about 80% of there repete business. Oh crap did I say kill?

*sigh* More ridiculous and ill-guided attempts at the illusion of airport security. I understand that the customer service industry lives on keywords, but do these apathetic assholes realize how difficult it is to get off of these no-fly lists?