@MercuryPDX:

Man, and I was complaining my 7400/month wasn't gcutting it anymore. Damn wife is driving me into bk with her spending habits.

The way I talk myself out of things that are 'great deals' or 'omg i need this' is to ask myself if it is something I have room for or need to have in the house, and if it's something that I will be regretting in three months, or six months, or next year.

Mostly it works - I didn't buy myself some very expensive souvenirs at the end of my field season, with the rationale that I will (in theory) be going back to the same place next year and will have been working for most of that time, so I will have more disposable income later.

@sarahq:
Oh gosh, me too. I've been trying to eat better but I hate cooking just for myself. So the nice veggies end up turning to mush. Talk about making something a habit!

@mazda3jdm:

*snerk*
"Obama waffles" almost made me spit my Rolo out onto my screen.

@Paper:

That works for me too, except at the flea market, where waiting will often lose you the item. If it's something I just want, and not need, like a book or a crazy knickknack, I can walk away. If I'm looking for a pot or a tablecloth or something, I'll get it. Places that take cash only, like at a swap meet, make me spend less too.

I was in big trouble when the flea market I go to regularly started taking debit cards. Heeeeee.

@Gaambit: i haven't purchased a new book in months. i utilize the library system, shop second hand, and trade books with friends and coworkers.

If I gave in I'd end up like this:
[www.flickr.com]

I also translate the cost of the item into that of a commodity that we use regularly; kitty litter is a good one. That same game is 7 pails of litter? No thanks, I can wait.

...That probably didn't help, did it?

@sarusa: But I thought the reason we use these mind tricks to tell ourselves no is so that we don't have to use willpower?

If you use a mind trick like this, it's basically convincing yourself that you don't want it. Right? But wouldn't willpower only truly be used if you walked away from the store, still wanting the item, but not buying it?

2. Wrap my credit Card in a paper sleeve and as I make a purchase, log the amount on the sleeve.

I know for some people catalogs makes them acquisitive, but for me it's like all the fun parts of shopping without actually ending up with any crap at the end. And it turns out I'm fundamentally lazy and prefer not to have to actually leave the house!

Yeah, but you still have to develop the good habit, which takes some doin'. Self-talk is a time-tested (and therapist-approved!) way to work on developing those habits. Maybe once the OP's habits have improved, she won't need the interior narrative.

(When I work with my students on thinking Socratically, I tell them, "The idea here is first I talk you through it all semester, then you start hearing my voice in your head when you need to think Socratic-style, then you start hearing your OWN voice in your head, then you start thinking that way without thinking about it.")

I use all these tricks and more, but I hate spending money to buy stuff. I hate clutter, plus I get to travel more if I spend less elsewhere.

In part, the temptation was often in the form of, "This is such a great book/comic-strip collection/movie/etc., I have to own it!"--basically, part of you thinks it's voting for the book by buying it. And of course, there are books I still feel like that about... but there are also books that can be re-checked-out of a library if/when I want to read them again. Ditto with movies, since I'm usually subscribed to Netflix.

I'm suffering financially at the moment. There have been things I've been coveting for months, and everytime I get close to buying something, wham! nasty unexpected bills arrive.

I do get a buzz out of resisting a purchase though. Kind of like when you go for a long run.... you feel so virtuous that you did it.

@Meggers:

Good luck Meggars! So many animals out there needing a good home, I'm crossing my fingers for your sake,and your doggy-to-be.

It'll work again. It always has throughout years past.

I mean, it might not work too good this year, as we've gone to the well one too many times, but I firmly believe there's no financial crisis we can't spend our way out of, and the American people will forget my involvement before too long. I mean heck, we got away with billions from the Savings and Loan debacle and hardly anybody remembers what the "Keating 5" scandal is. We're still counting our profits from Enron, and I betcha don't know what that is anymore. (No, not Exxon, LoL, Enron) My operatives are fighting tooth and nail right this second trying to elect a guy who fought his whole political life for de-regulation. (Yes I know we just got a $700B bailout, but I'm talkin' real money)

My time will come again, and I won't have to talk myself out of buying anything. :) Bwa hah ha hah ha. Nom Nom Nom.

The key is not to buy something while you're geeked about it, let it settle in so you can weight the cost/benefits.

Also probably why some people get out of a hole of debt and wonder how they got right back into it 6-12 months later.

At school during the summers, I would store everything (except 2 suitcases) in a friend's attic for the summers. Anytime I contemplated buying anything - clothes, kitchen stuff, anything - I always thought 'you will be hauling this four floors up and four floors down in a few months. Is it worth it?' And that actually worked.

Now, living in a grown-up apartment year round, more of an iron will is needed. I usually try to sleep on it, not window shop, and definitely leave stuff in the online shopping cart. I also track my spending (on a pretty plain spreadsheet) and try to think how I'll feel in a week or two typing whatever amount it is into the spreadsheet. Will it feel justified and like whatever it is was useful? Or will it feel wasteful?

i still have a weakness when it comes to online shopping - give me 5 minutes on newegg or amazon & i could easily spend $1000. this is where shopping carts ROCK for me - i see something i like & i dump it in my cart - i still get the "shopping high", but i rarely, if ever, actually purchase anything in the cart. i build a virtual computer just about once a week on newegg, but i've never actually built the computer (i build computers all the time - i've just never built the ONE). it's quite cathartic actually.

When making a gadget purchase or a larger purchase (for me a big purchase is 25$ or more!) I ask myself:

Do I already have something that can do this?

Am I overbuying or is there a lower end model of this product that I can buy that will meet my needs and save me money in the long run? Many people when buying electronics overbuy and then don't even use half the features of the device they are buying, they could have saved money by stepping down a model!

What brand has the lowest price for the features that I will use the most?

Is this a reliable device, will it break easily on me?

What do others have to say about this product?

Is there a new model coming out soon that will replace the old with perhaps new and better features for less money?

For video games they have to drop in price before I buy them, simple as that. They drop in price too fast to be spending even 30$ on the latest game when it will be down to 20$ or even less in 2-3 months and even less money after that. I really drill myself on gadget and video game purchases. All or most of these purchases are made online in order to avoid the high pressure sales tactics of retail.

Sites like woot don't offer me much because usually I am looking for a specific product for a specific need so the chances one of those sites will have something on it that I want are pretty slim. I also don't impulse buy in the sense that I want to grab every deal that is on woot.

Clothing kind of has to be an impulse buy, however I don't buy much clothing outside of the basics so I am ok with that. If you don't buy on the spot from the clearance racks then you will be losing out. You can go into the dressing room and try it on and make sure it fits but you really have to make your decision on the spot or within the hour. If you come back in 2-3 days for the same clothing item it will likely be gone. I seem to be wearing everything that I buy until it falls apart which is good.

Different things are hard for different people, would be my main point. But if your point about willpower being limited is correct, it would seem that the thing to do is just to get yourself into good habits so that you don't have to put so much mental effort into maintaining your self-discipline. That way, it just happens automatically. And I think that applies whether you're trying to maintain your weight or maintain your finances.

We don't have a stated rule, but in practice, it's about a $50 limit for general purchases. For "personal" stuff (electronics and movies for me, clothes for her) we're only bound by our personal budgets, which roll over month to month.

Longest I've gone is 50 days. I'm now shooting to double that.

That's a very wise way to put it. Also, I try often to remember how very blessed I am and focus on THAT rather than what I don't have. That helps too.

I count anything over $50 as a "big purchase". If I buy something, it will be on the second or third trip to look at it. I never buy at first sight. That said, here's my thought process:

1. Do I need it - what is it? what will I used it for? If it's replacing something, why am I replacing it? Can I upgrade the old thing or make it better?

2. Why do I want it - what, in my subjective viewpoint, makes it a must-have? From here, I'll pick myself apart in analyzing and over-analyzing why I want it.

3. What am I giving up to get it - I don't know anyone buying on unlimited funds, so I imagine everyone deals with this. What is the trade off? If I buy this, what must I give up during the next two weeks to compensate for the financial diversion?

4. Chance of a bargain later on? How close to the holidays are we? Is it soon end of quarter/end of fiscal year? Is there a new model coming out soon, can I wait that long? Especially with gadgets, Gizmodo and Engadget are lifesavers here. Also, does the company operate any outlet stores?

As a whole, I buy very little when it comes to expensive/big purchases. My last big purchase was a laptop bought at end of fiscal year, and I debated that purchase for three months (and repaired an old laptop twice in the meantime). Also, between this website and the analysis derived from question 2, I've become more and more anti-corporate and anti-commercialist.

@SadSam: My husband and I do the $300 rule as well.

The other thing we do is sacrifice one thing for another. Right now, I want a dog. We have the money for food and the average vet bill but to make sure that things aren't too tight, I need to give something up. To get the pooch, I need to quit smoking. If I can quit for 2 months (at which point I can convince myself that I am no longer addicted) then I can get the dog. So far it has been two days =)

Last year my husband wanted a new TV, so he quit drinking at bars for 3 months until he had saved up atleast 1/3 the cost of the TV.

Then I usually forget about it.

I've found that once you have a budget in place, all the other advice listed before this post comes naturally. Because I have a limited amount to spend, I make special care to get the best deal, read reviews, specs, etc of anything I'm considering buying.

Oh, and a commenter above said something about having a small apartment with no closets - Ours is 550 square feet and we have NO tv :) We have a policy that if my wife gets a new article of clothing, she "trades in" and gets rid of something old, so we don't have too much. We used to live in a 200 sq ft studio, so this is huge for us!

"Ok, I guess I don't need it that bad."
or
"Hmmm, If I hide it in the garage, I can say I'm borrowing it for a while."

@rhesuspieces00:

I love the shopping cart/buy later trick. I've had stuff sitting in my Amazon cart for mos.

As just one example, a study included leaving cookies out on the table then having respondents either write a small essay about something harmless or about a time they resisted temptation. Then they were told 'oh yeah, you can eat the rest of the cookies if you want.' The people who had written essays about resisting temptation ate far more of the cookies (since they'd used some of their willpower just remembering).

The good news is you can train your willpower up by exercising it, but just like physical exercise these days most people are just flabby. 'It's not hard' is just like saying 'it's easy for everyone to be skinny'. Technically this is true, but in practice it's not.

Well, there's really only one way to find out, right?

Clothes and shoes are my Achilles heel when it comes to bad spending habits. I have cut down on my spending markedly by becoming ultra-ruthless when I try on clothes and shoes. It probably sounds silly, but in the past I have bought stuff that I only kind of liked because I felt I needed that kind of item (say, I need a black sweater, so after looking around for a black sweater I like, I settle for something I'm not crazy about). I started to get tired of having stuff I didn't feel like wearing, plus looking at those items in my closet inevitably reminded me of the money I wasted, so I developed a ruthless eye for even the slightest flaw. It's pretty amazing how much I have saved myself, and even though it's much harder to find something to add to my wardrobe now, I am much happier with what I do have.

@selianth:

We use the $100 rule and the $300 rule. For every $100 spent on an item we have to wait a day before purchase.
$500 item requires a 5 day wait. $20,000 car = 200 day wait. Yes we recently bought a $20,000 car and yes we waited 6+ mos to buy it, we also saved up for the car over that time and paid cash for it.

The $300 rule is a marriage rule, anything either of us want to buy that costs $300+ has to be discussed and agreed to. We don't have anyone to break the tie so its hard to convince the hubby that I need a $400 leather coat when I live in Fla. and its hard for him to convince me that he needs a $300+ purchase from Home Depot when he has every tool under the sun.

I don't want them. I just want to see them. And maybe take a picture.

- Have I slept on it?

- How much do I actually know about the product?

- What do other consumers say about this product?

- Do I already have something that does what this product does?

@summerbee: or means = of jeans. Geez. Edit button, anyone?

I usually ask myself the following: by buying this physical product, what intangible product am I hoping to get? If the answer is something that can be acquired WITHOUT a purchase, then I don't buy it.

For example, let's say I'm looking at a dress and considering a purchase. I'll ask myself if I am really looking for a dress...or if I'm looking for the sense of femininity that comes along with wearing a dress. (I don't need to buy femininity; I can achieve that through other, non-consumer means.) Let's say I'm looking for a new wireless phone. Do I really want a new phone, or am I hoping that the phone is the means to an end result of more/stronger social interaction? Am I buying a pair or means, or am I trying to buy self-confidence? Am I buying a business suit, or am I trying to buy credibility? Social interaction, the building of confidence and credibility...all of the above can be achieved without actually purchasing a thing.

I hope this makes sense to someone else.

two words to help control your out of control spending:

IRON WILL

there, was that so hard?

Second, I contemplate how I explain it to my husband. Since he's a penny pincher, having to find a way to rationalize it to him makes me realize how stupid my own arguments sound.

I also save for weeks and weeks for larger purchases. Like our new television, we set a goal that we wanted to buy it in November and we've been saving for it since then. We managed to save up more than enough, so that surplus just stays in the savings account.

For Amazon shopping, this has an added benefit. You can see by watching your shopping basket any price fluctuations, so you know when your getting the best price, and you always have a ready supply of items to add to bump the purchase up to $25 so you can get free shipping.

@Paper: This is the one I use most often. Plus, I think of all the accumulated crap I already have and don't use and how frustrating it can be to live with it when it starts to pile up...

[www.esd.wa.gov]

I am sure people are making due with much less, and did not mean anything negative by it.

Now it takes me forever to talk myself into buying things. My dishwasher broke a few years ago and I'm still researching my options and washing things in the sink. It drives my family nuts, but helps keep my spending under control.

I also do this when food shopping, I ask if I'll eat it in the next 3 or 4 days and if not I avoid buying it and wait until next time. This has really cut down on food waste at my house.

But also--and I wish I could remember where I read this... sometime earlier this year, I stumbled on an online article pointing out how often many of us buy things because we want to own them, rather than because we'll necessarily be using them (or, at least, using them much). Sounds dumb that anyone would need to remind themselves of this, but it really has made a difference to how I think about spending (and I was already a cautious spender).

Another trick--if you ever get the chance to live for an extended period without most of your stuff (while traveling, couch-surfing, etc.), it does tend to help you realize how little of it you actually need. I came back from a long trip abroad, last month, and found I hadn't missed much of the stuff I'd put in storage before leaving.

1) Is the pleasure that I get from the purchase worth the time that it took to earn the money?

2) If I buy this object, what am I giving up in the future by not having this money.

I remind myself there's always a better deal online and giving into your impulses now screws you out of the best deal possible.

@sir_eccles: hahahha yeah. I really wish I had those billions of dollars now :/

I keep a hundred dollars in my wallet and one credit card. Every time I am out in a store picking up the bare essentials for survival. I think hard about the hundred dollars in my wallet and think do I really need the box of Obama waffles. We don't need all this materialistic crap that we are brain washed into buying. I understand that people do need unnecessary items to pass the time until the world ends. We just need to save our money and buy only what we need to live happy not above our means. We don't need exotic cars or designer jeans that cost $400 dollars. We don't need a huge house that we can barely afford to own or heat. This is what got the economy in the state it's in now. I don't really think it matters who gets elected because they can't do much to get us out of this. They can try as hard as they can to give us tax breaks or stimulus checks. But in the end it's up to us the consumer to start acting wisely about our spending and bring this economy back on track. I know people will disagree with what I said. It freedom of speech and you have every right to bitch it's in the Constitution.

Then, when they splurge they can rationalize "well, I just didn't know the right anti-spending trick" instead of realizing they're just a bit of a crap human.

I love that you think $500/week is what the unemployed have to scrape by on.

I work full-time and make less than that.

But, I kind of lost you after the paranoid points...

@Git Em SteveDave loves this guy-->: I think Woot totally feeds on that craving, especially with a Woot off. So many deals happening so fast, you really have to act on your impulsive spending instincts.

I'm a spaz and a recovering impulse shopper. When I see something nice and I want it, having the mental discipline to put the debit card away is handy.

@innout3x3: are you saying you try not to spend more than $100 a day? Please elaborate.

As much as I want to believe in this, I'm not sure if there is any way I can talk myself out of buying a sweet plasma TV to go with my xbox.

Although I suppose "wife would murder me" might be good enough. But would she *really* do that?

The one (and only) reason I don't need something: lack of funds.

The list looks rather lopsided ...

I used to have great credit

None. Unemployment drastically changes your perspective on WANT vs. NEED... not that I would recommend it to anyone.

Just think "If I lost my job tomorrow, and had to live on $500 a week, could/should I buy this?"