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B
August 28, 2008 4:06 PM
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Can those Extenz guys be next? Although any \"enhancement\" product that has the same name as a David Cronenberg movie should be enough of a warning to keep people away.

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harvey_birdman_attorney_at_law
August 28, 2008 4:09 PM
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@B: Cronenberg's film was Existenz. Close enough though.

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IphtashuFitz
August 28, 2008 4:10 PM
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I saw an Enzyte ad with \"Bob\" on tv just a couple nights ago. Amazing that they've still got ads running for this scam.

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5 replies
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AbsoluteIrrelevance
August 28, 2008 6:56 PM
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@IphtashuFitz: No way! I was just thinking, \"Thank GOD I will never have to see those stupid ads anymore!\" Maybe they pre paid for a block of airtime.

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Feminist Whore
August 28, 2008 5:38 PM
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@IphtashuFitz: I cancelled my extended basic cable a week ago.... no longer getting comedy central BUT I know that up until the day I cancelled that these scammy commercials were still airing on comedy central... most notably during The Daily Show and Colbert Report.


Every VIACOM network airs these scammy commercials. EVERY VIACOM NETWORK.

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ViperBorg
August 28, 2008 5:34 PM
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Who says our justice system doesn't work?

@IphtashuFitz: They shouldn't be. Someone should notify whatever station that was about this case. They've been out of business for some time now.

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WraithSama
August 28, 2008 4:19 PM
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@IphtashuFitz:
No kidding. I had heard quite some time back when all this started that they had pulled the Enzyte commercials, but I started seeing them again on Spike TV, I think. As far as I'm aware, they're still running those commercials (usually in pairs).

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timsgm1418
August 28, 2008 7:23 PM
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@WraithSama: I've seen them on Oxygen and WE tv...I really hate those commercials...I have noticed the wording is slightly different than it used to be

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mazda3jdm
August 28, 2008 4:11 PM
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anything stating male enhancement is not going to work if it did it would need a RX or Barbra Walters woul be reporting on it!

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HighontheHill
August 28, 2008 4:12 PM
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My only hope is that his cellie does not suffer from small genitals, in fact I hope they are HUGE...

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2 replies
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Anonymous
April 8, 2009 3:27 AM
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@HighontheHill: Seriously, you believe that rape should be the punishment for fraud? Would you be willing, if you were assigned to a criminal jury, to hand down a sentence of \"violent forcible rape\" to a defendant who had committed a nonviolent property crime? If not, why do you believe it's acceptable to imply that such a punishment is warranted?

Prison rape is a serious problem in our society. No criminal, no matter what their crime, has been sentenced to be raped. Please don't trivialize this serious crime for the sake of a laugh.

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IphtashuFitz
August 28, 2008 4:15 PM
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@HighontheHill: A satisfied Enzyte customer who just wants to show his appreciation for the product to the creator of that product?

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strathmeyer
August 28, 2008 4:17 PM
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\"In some cases, Teegarden said, Warshak required customers to produce a notarized statement from a doctor certifying Enzyte did not work.\"

Oddly, any doctor would probably gladly produce a notarized statement saying that Enzyte does not work.

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MercuryPDX
August 28, 2008 5:30 PM
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@strathmeyer: The issue was not the difficulty in getting a doctor and notary in the same room. It was getting a man to admit he had a small penis to both his doctor and a notary, and have them document it.

The embarrassment caused by the admission alone would be enough to ensure most of their target customers would not follow through.

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sir_pantsalot
August 28, 2008 5:39 PM
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@MercuryPDX: I used the product and it did not work. I had a doctor and a notary document that my nine inch member did not increase in size and was given a refund.

*I would not be allowed to say this if it were not true.

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MercuryPDX
August 28, 2008 5:45 PM
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@sir_pantsalot: Let me guess.... when you dine at an all you can eat buffet, you're the guy who stuffs himself silly and then asks for a take-home box? ;)

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esd2020
August 28, 2008 4:19 PM
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@strathmeyer: Yeah, if you pay for an appointment, and pay for a notary to meet you there.

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nffcnnr
August 28, 2008 4:21 PM
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Dudes gonna find out what male enhancement really is in FPMITA prision.

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digital504
August 28, 2008 4:21 PM
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\"Warshak has 30 days to report to prison.\"


30 days ? This guy is so going to run. He's packing right now.

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3 replies
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urban_ninjya
August 28, 2008 4:40 PM
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He'd better start taking his own Enzyte.

In prison you're given it, or taking it from behind.

And if your penis is not large enough to give it.. guess what?

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HunterZ
August 28, 2008 4:25 PM
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@digital504: Yeah, that's what I thought. It's practically an invitation for him to flee the country.

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finite_elephant
August 28, 2008 4:29 PM
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@HunterZ: I'd be willing to bet he had to surrender his passport a while ago.

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420greg
August 28, 2008 7:17 PM
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@finite_elephant:

If I had 500 mil I am pretty sure I could get a new passport.

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sir_pantsalot
August 28, 2008 4:37 PM
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@finite_elephant: That is good because we all know it is impossible to get in or out of this country without a passport.

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Oranges w/ Cheese
August 28, 2008 4:26 PM
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What worries me most is, if you visit their website (which is still functioning, btw) you can see a slew of other \"products\" for men and women which are supposed to do all sorts of things from alleviate stress, to help with weight loss and more.

Why are these still being advertised if its all a crock?!

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ceriphim
August 28, 2008 4:30 PM
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I've seen LifeLock ads since that guy got his s**t ruined too, maybe they've already paid for the ads and can't get a refund, so they just let them run? IANA... TV Advertising Exec. Anybody out there shed some light?

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Aisley
August 28, 2008 4:30 PM
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\"Warshak has 30 days to report to prison.\"


This guy is allowed to \"report\" to prison? What the %*(&#@&*& is that? He was not reminded? Oh, of course he has millions and millions.

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nfs
August 28, 2008 4:31 PM
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why was his mother sentenced?

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1 replies
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FightOnTrojans
August 28, 2008 4:53 PM
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@nfs: FTA, mom was convicted on conspiracy and other charges. She begged the court to let her go since she only has a little bit of time left and she has grandchildren she wants to spend time with. Pfffft... if you can't do the time, don't do the crime lady!

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skepticalglasses
August 28, 2008 4:39 PM
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Many people \"report\" to prison. Often people are given a small amount of time (two weeks, 30 days) to tie up loose ends. It is not uncommon.

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NikkiSweet
August 28, 2008 4:41 PM
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He should have learned his lesson when he was sued for stealing imagery from the Church of the Subgenius...

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Edge231
August 28, 2008 4:43 PM
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Sorry, but his mother should be in prison also if she played a part in this fraud. I could care less if she has cancer or wants to play with her grand-children.

Thousands of people endured difficulties because of her and her son.

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wgrune
August 28, 2008 4:48 PM
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@Edge231:


I couldn't agree more. There seems to be a large disparity between the incarceration of men and women in this country. They don't hesitate to lock up 70 year old mafia Dons with cancer...

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gamabunta
August 28, 2008 4:47 PM
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Saw one of the old commercials for this on the TV a few days ago. Are they still selling this or did he have to stop everything altogether?

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blackmage439
August 28, 2008 4:48 PM
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Finally, even though I did enjoy those Smiling Bob commercials. I wonder if they'll ever stop airing those?

Next target: \"free*\"creditreport.com. Burn, motherf#$%er, burn. I HATE your god-awful commercials.

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Veeber
August 28, 2008 5:59 PM
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@blackmage439: It doesn't look like he's going to prison for the product not working, though. Maybe he can still sell it just can't engage in deceitful practices?

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MyPetFly
August 28, 2008 6:02 PM
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@Veeber:

I suppose his commercials could state that the product doesn't do anything. ; ) Sorta' like that stupid iPhone app.

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TechnoDestructo
August 28, 2008 5:52 PM
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@blackmage439:

I think the credit bureaus (because that's who owns that one, Experian) are a tougher nut to crack.

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FlashIV
August 28, 2008 4:54 PM
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@blackmage439: The new one I've seen is \"free\"triplescore

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timsgm1418
August 28, 2008 7:25 PM
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@FlashIV: I've noticed the commericals say a different website than what they actually have printed on the bottom of the screen

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Shaftoe
August 28, 2008 4:48 PM
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There is justice afterall.


But I really loved their comercials.

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LatherRinseRepeat
August 28, 2008 4:52 PM
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Male enhancement? What the hell does that even mean? Hey guys, I've got your male enhancement right here.. it's called confidence. If your significant other doesn't appreciate you for who you are, it's time to kick that trash to the curb.

But 25 years and $93,000 in fines seems trivial. I bet he gets out early for good behavior, and $93,000 is chump change for him. The article states that his scam generated over $100 million, which is probably tucked away in an overseas bank.

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GrymOne
June 8, 2010 5:35 PM
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\"U.S. District Judge S. Arthur Spiegel also ordered the company, along with other defendants, to forfeit more than $500 million that it bilked from consumers.\"

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gc3160thtuk
August 29, 2008 2:54 AM
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@LatherRinseRepeat: male enhancement? you mean like vitamins? No, you know, male enhancement *wink* Ughhh For F**** sake I hate that commercial so much.

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FlashIV
August 28, 2008 4:53 PM
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Aren't they a big sponsor of a NASCAR team?

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SkokieGuy
August 28, 2008 4:56 PM
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The commercials have been on the air in the Chicago market for over 6 months.


This was after Warshak admitted in open court that the product was worthless.


I wonder who at his company was making media buys AFTER he was charged, let alone admitted the product was a scam.


I wonder what liability a television station has for broadcasting these ads? [While a TV station doesn't have an obligation to investigate advertising claims, we have stations who have reported on the court trial, and subsequently broadcast more ads!] Seems to me that makes give them some share liability for the ongoing scam.

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mwwilk
October 22, 2008 9:32 PM
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@SkokieGuy:
Seriously, I just saw Smiling Bob with a holiday themed ad on Comedy Central last night. (Chicago Market).

1) Why is the FTC not banning all ads?
2) How is Warshak & Co paying for these ads?

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huadpe
August 28, 2008 4:56 PM
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Reporting to prison in 15-30 days is INCREDIBLY common actually. Almost all cases have it take place. You can try to flee, but you're unlikely to be successful. They have very good photographs of you, all your bank information, and a nice big bond you've forfeited to spend on finding you.

Almost all non-violent offenders report to prison for their sentences without being forcibly taken there upon conviction. It is helpful in not having their kids end up homeless among other things.

Also if this guy fled, it'd make cable news (if it's a slow day). Try being a fugitive with your name and face on TVs in every bar and motel you walk into.

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johnva
August 28, 2008 5:00 PM
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They also really need to go after these guys for selling a totally fraudulent product, in addition to all the other scammy crap they pulled. Amazing that the government STILL allows this stuff to be aired, when it's advertising an outright fraud. Would I be allowed to run a Nigerian prince scam by advertising on TV constantly, and continue doing it even after being arrested?

Amazing that people fall for this. And it must be a LOT of people, too, for them to be able to afford their advertising budget.

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floraposte
August 28, 2008 5:33 PM
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@johnva: There are a lot of people in the supplement industry who spend a lot of time keeping regulation out of it. Smiling Bob is their offspring.

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Chairman-Meow
August 28, 2008 5:05 PM
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This douche was so arrogant that he had his logo plastered on NASCAR vehicle.

[www.jayski.com]

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ironchef
August 28, 2008 5:09 PM
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@Front_Towards_Enemy: Ironically, it's a brilliant move considering the people who watch NASCAR would respond to that message.

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BrianDaBrain
August 28, 2008 5:08 PM
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It was always tremendous fun looking for all the phallic symbols in those corny smiling bob commercials. But really, with commercials that cheesy, you'd have to think that it's a fraud.

Why again isn't the mother going to jail? Because she's 75? Really? So, when I get that old, I can just go defraud anybody I want to and get off because I'm old? Hot damn, I can't wait!

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macinjosh
August 28, 2008 5:09 PM
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\"Next target: \"free*\"creditreport.com. Burn, motherf#$%er, burn. I HATE your god-awful commercials.

I know! What the fug is wrong with that guy? Didn't he get the point after \"some hacker stole [his] ID\"? What about his lovely wife's bad credit? He should have been much more prepared when he bought that clunker (the compact car, not the wife).

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macinjosh
August 28, 2008 5:09 PM
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Interestingly, the Extenz ads say \"We couldn't say it on the radio if it weren't true.\" Ah OK.

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Kos
August 28, 2008 5:13 PM
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Reminds me of Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels: Go here [www.script-o-rama.com] and search on \"arse ticklers\"

We need a stronger FTC

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1 replies
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drjayphd
August 28, 2008 7:56 PM
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25 years? Sounds like his sentence is experiencing a generous swelling of pride... At least the forfeiture of $500M should make things a little fairer, right, Trai_Dep?


@Kos: The effect was even better considering I was listening to \"Fool's Gold\" at the time. (punches out traffic cop)


@ceriphim: Bzuh? Didn't hear about this guy getting his comeuppance. Either way, I vote we all join hands and sing along...



+ Watch video

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Rhayader
August 28, 2008 5:14 PM
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I'm not defending what the guy did, and I think the financial consequences should be considerably more drastic. But 25 years in prison? Daaaaamn, that's a long bit. Even if he does half of it, he's wasted away for over a decade for preying on phallic insecurities. I mean, the guy isn't a violent criminal or anything.

In many states 25 years is often the sentence for first degree murder. Rapists and other violent criminals can usually agree to pleas for less than 10. In light of that, this sentence seems a bit drastic.

Of course that is nothing compared to our country's draconian belief in putting drug users behind bars, but I guess that's for another thread.

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acrobatic rabbit
August 29, 2008 8:20 PM
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@Rhayader: agreed! even though this greedy bastard bilked millions from consumers (witless as they may be), 25 years is still a pretty steep sentence. and $93,000 in fines is total chump change. but the company has to fork over a huge sum of money. I don't know, something's not balancing out. and what did his mother do? seems like a Freudian nightmare to have a dude's mother involved in a phallus-enhancing scam. kinda creepy.

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johnva
August 28, 2008 5:17 PM
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@Rhayader: It's only 18.3 days in prison for every million dollars (of $500 million) that he was proven to have scammed. Seems pretty reasonable to me. Would you go to jail for 18 days for a million bucks?

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Colage
August 28, 2008 5:23 PM
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@johnva: If he scammed $1m he would be going for a few years, but I don't see how 25 years is going to make it any better. Jails are crowded enough, and while the guy is certainly a jackass, 25 years is more than you're going to get in most cases for murder/child molestation/etc. I'm sure he'd learn his lesson in 2 or 3.

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Rhayader
August 28, 2008 5:32 PM
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@Colage: I agree. Sure, give him a couple years, and force him to give back ALL of his money (not a puny $93k).

But putting him in jail for a third of a lifetime? Seems a bit excessive and counterproductive if you ask me.

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Rhayader
August 28, 2008 5:22 PM
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@johnva: Yeah, I mean if you break it down like that it sort of puts it in perspective. Still though, I find it hard to condone forcing someone to rot away for a large percentage of his life as a result of a non-violent crime.

I would much rather see him forced to return every last cent he owns. In my mind, a financial crime deserves a mostly financial punishment. Again, I am not claiming he is the good guy here, but he is also not a murderer.

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johnva
August 28, 2008 6:33 PM
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@Rhayader: The way I see it is that this is basically large-scale organized crime. Think of him as a mob boss or drug lord that used lawyers instead of guns to get his way. I'm not sure if 25 years is excessive, but I imagine he won't serve most of it anyway. Hopefully this will deter some of the other more blatant scammers out there.

@floraposte: This sort of scam is exactly the end-game we should expect from allowing a gaping \"supplement loophole\" in the drug regulations. If we weren't still under the Bush Administration, I'd be really surprised that nothing has been done yet to tighten the laws.

@snoop-blog: It SHOULD be illegal to sell pills that don't work.

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GamblesAC2
August 29, 2008 1:40 AM
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@johnva: healthg supplements are protected under DSHEA beacuse there is clinical trial evidence that healthfood supplements are effective (in some cases more effective than drugs) but its when there arecon artists use the supplement industry to run theirs scams that the indusry as a whoe gets a bad name.... heres an artical i found that can give you some insights


[www.t-nation.com]

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johnva
August 29, 2008 5:13 AM
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@GamblesAC2: There is NOT clinical evidence that ALL supplements work. And if there were, they could still be sold even with more regulations in place. I'm just opposed to a lightly regulated industry basically selling \"supplements\" as drugs. Just look at the marketing of Enzyte, Lipozene, etc. They are designed and named to look like prescription drugs. I'm not opposed to vitamins and such being sold, but I'm opposed to that designation being used to sell ineffectual scam products as drugs.

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GamblesAC2
August 29, 2008 1:42 AM
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@GamblesAC2: **but its when con artists** we need to be able to edit our threads on here

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techstar25
August 28, 2008 5:19 PM
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The moral of this story, folks, is that if you are 75 and have cancer, you can get away with ANYTHING.

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wiley14
August 28, 2008 5:25 PM
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Well, at least we don't have to watch the stupid 'Smiling Bob' commercials anymore... I hope...

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incognit000
August 28, 2008 5:27 PM
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I'm just glad they handed down a sentence with lots and lots of jail time. Jail doesn't really deter low-level criminals who have nothing to lose anyway, but Mr. Warshak was probably living it pretty large when they dragged him off to jail. Granted, he'll have it very easy in jail compared to say a drug dealer or a mugger (white-collar crime jails are notoriously soft) but the fact that he'll be out of action for over two decades will hopefully convince other \"male enhancement\" scammers to seek a new line of work.


At least until they let him out for \"good behavior\" or someone writes him a pardon in exchange for some \"male enhancement\" pills.


If there was any product at all that worked to make your penis bigger, you can bet everyone would know about it, most guys would have it, and people who could afford it would be showing off their comedically oversized...things...on national TV.

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SkokieGuy
August 28, 2008 5:29 PM
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I think a shorter prison time and larger fine makes more sense.


The LA times says a year in prison costs about $31,000 a year. So if he only serve half his sentence, he will cost taxpayers $387,500.00 to punish. [Actually much higher, when you add in the costs of the judicial process]


His fine doesn't cover his prison costs or the costs or prosecution.


Am I the only one cynical about the supposed $500,000 million that will be recovered. How much will ever be collected and if even half gets in victims hands I'll be suprised. I bet the settlement will make victims jump through as many hoops as Enzyte's 'customer service' department.


Of course jumping through hoops won't be that difficult, since the victims clearly don't have giant penises to interfere.

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Feminist Whore
August 28, 2008 5:29 PM
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These scammy commercials piss me off.


VIACOM pisses me off for airing them on all their programs. Enzyte, extenze, lipozene, direct buy.........But VIACOM has no problem crying foul - crying \"oh you're ripping us off - whenever someone uploads a clip of their shows to youtube.


VIACOM knows these are scams.... christ the government sued enzyte months ago for being scammy, did that stop VIACOM from airing those commercials during The Daily Show and The Colbert Report? Fuck no it didn't.


When we some lawyer realize there is a fortune to be made from suing VIACOM for all the consumers they have allowed to be ripped off by LENDING AN AIR OF LEGITIMACY TO THESE ADVERTISERS BY ALLOWING THEM TO AIR DURING THEIR PROGRAMS.

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littlemoose
August 29, 2008 12:18 AM
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@alphafemale: I'm guessing that it would be extremely difficult if not impossible to ever sue a TV network for airing commercials like these. The networks can't be obligated to investigate the business practices of every business whose commercials they air. It would be a massive waste of resources. Furthermore, the networks aren't the ones perpetrating the wrong -- false advertising and fraudulent business practices are civil wrongs, and the medium itself isn't what is causing that wrong. The network just doesn't owe you a duty of care to ensure with regard to the content of its advertisements beyond the general obscenity and other FCC standards.

Plus, you'd open up a slippery slope that would be completely preposterous. If you bought a product that injured you after seeing it advertised on TV, would you sue the network? What if the product just didn't work? What if the customer service representative for the advertised company was rude or behaved illegally? Where would the line be?

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Feminist Whore
August 28, 2008 5:31 PM
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when WILL some lawyer.... no when WE some lawyer...
grrrr....

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scientisttz
August 28, 2008 5:33 PM
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But....what will happen to Smilin' Bob?

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NikkiSweet
August 29, 2008 4:10 PM
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@scientisttz & @unpolloloco:

\"Bob\" is actually stolen from the Church of the Subgenius ([subgenius.com])

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vildechaia
August 28, 2008 5:38 PM
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The article also mentioned that Jeff Skilling, one of the Enron guys, got LESS time than the smiling bob man, and Enron bilked everyone for billions of dollars. As far as his mother is concerned, she was in on the scam, too. I don't care that she's 75 and has grandchildren to play with - she knew what was going on. Let's have some accountability here.

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badhatharry
August 28, 2008 5:39 PM
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So this doesn't work? Any one know how to file a chargeback?

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MyPetFly
August 28, 2008 5:43 PM
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\"Although any \"enhancement\" product that has the same name as a David Cronenberg movie...\"

I was hoping he(?) was referring to Naked Lunch, The Fly or Fast Company.

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lausley
August 28, 2008 5:47 PM
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Now, if only we could win a class-action suit for the pain and suffering of having to sit through their %^^&**+&*$ commercials ad nauseum.

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maddiesdad
August 28, 2008 6:01 PM
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Has anyone else noticed the ads by Google in the upper left column? Hmmm wonder if they work?

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Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen
August 28, 2008 6:08 PM
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website is still up at www.enzyte.com

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Bruce
August 28, 2008 6:09 PM
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\"Enzyte Scammer Gets 25 Years In Prison\".

Oh, that sentence gives me a chubby!

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Scoobatz
August 28, 2008 6:30 PM
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@Bruce: Me, too! One more hour and I will need to contact my doctor.


This is a case involving fraud on monumental proportions and the grandmother claims that jail time is not fair because she has grandchildren. I love it!

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snoop-blog
August 28, 2008 6:22 PM
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They are still in business because they stopped the practice that got them in trouble. Which was not allowing people to get a refund or stop the shipments. I bet if you ordered some now, and wanted a refund it would be no problem. It's not illegal to sell penis pills. It is illegal however to advertised a full refund if your not satisfied, and then renig on the deal.

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DHT
August 28, 2008 6:28 PM
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What are these commercials of which you speak? I've never seen one, and (apparently thankfully) have no idea who \"Smiling Bob\" is.

You guys should get TiVo. Or at least an imitation of one, i.e. a cable/satellite DVR.

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jackal676
August 28, 2008 6:35 PM
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I'm glad he got 25 years. I wish sentences like that were handed out more often to bigtime scammers. Long sentences are much more of a deterrent to these guys than fines.

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unpolloloco
August 28, 2008 6:35 PM
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No more Smiling Bob :(

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pegr
August 28, 2008 6:42 PM
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This is a fed rap, kids. That means no time off or early parole. He's going to do 25 years...

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mariospants
August 28, 2008 6:48 PM
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Yay, a wicked witch is dead!! We should rejoice these kinds of ass-kicking verdicts (don't forget folks, his company also owes $500M as a result). This jackass scammed people and he and his deserve to become a lesson to others.

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theblackdog
August 28, 2008 6:54 PM
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Awwww, but now I can't make fun of the commercials where I add in dialogue that smiling bob's wife continues to bang the mailman because he's \"bigger\" than bob.

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Trai_Dep
August 28, 2008 7:02 PM
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I see \"U.S. District Judge S. Arthur Spiegel also ordered the company, along with other defendants, to forfeit more than $500 million that it bilked from consumers,\" yet also see people complaining that the financial penalty wasn't enough.
Forfeiting a half-billion dollars seems to be a hefty slap on the wrist. Am I missing something?

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Trai_Dep
August 28, 2008 7:07 PM
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And Meg, how did a nice, girly girl like you learn what FPMITA means?
Are those scalawags Chris and Carey corrupting you?

(Yeah, a great graphic!)

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Crim Law Geek
August 28, 2008 7:12 PM
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I'm fine with the granny not going to jail. Terminal cancer can be ridiculously expensive to treat. There is no point in sending a woman to a jail where the government will be responsible for all her medical expenses, only to have her die in a few months anyways. MIght as well let her die on her own and save ourselves the money.

Also, under current rules, the man is going to serve quite a bit of his sentence (assuming he behaves, the calculation is 85% of the time he would have gotten prior to the implementation of the Good Time system).*

* [ezinearticles.com]

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badhatharry
August 29, 2008 12:30 AM
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@Crim Law Geek: Pretty sure the Grandma's got Medicare. We're paying for it anyway.

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FightOnTrojans
August 28, 2008 9:16 PM
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@Crim Law Geek: Ok, I'll meet you halfway: I say put her in jail, and don't treat her cancer. If it's terminal, why pay for the expensive treatments?

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warf0x0r
August 28, 2008 7:14 PM
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Seems like he'd probably be eligible for parole in 5 to 7.

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Crim Law Geek
August 28, 2008 11:08 PM
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@warf0x0r:
Um, not on the Federal charges he wont. Parole for Federal Crimes was eliminated in the 1980's (84 or 87) IIRC.

@FightOnTrojans:
Except that would be considered cruel and unusual punishment, and barred by the Constitution.

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GundamAC197
August 28, 2008 7:21 PM
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...wow, did nobody else get the Office Space reference? Kind of surprised not to see any comments on it by now.

Anyway, glad this guy is getting put away. Or fleeing the country. Either way, one more layer keeping him away from me.

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nybiker
August 28, 2008 7:32 PM
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For those of you bemoaning the disappearance of some commercials, don't worry, I'm sure there will be something else plugged into their place.

But, I would suggest as someone else did, get a DVR (or VCR if you want to do it old-school) and record your shows so you can then skip all the commercials. Watching a non-premium cable channel these days in realtime is painful. 20 minutes of commercials and promos for a 60-minute show is just too much time.

I seem to recall seeing some of these commercials whiz by while I held the FF button.

/end of rant. Thank you.

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RedwoodFlyer
August 29, 2008 8:39 AM
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@nybiker:

Forget FF..grab a Tivo and:

Select-Play-Select-3-0-Select while playing any prerecorded show and listen for the BONG BONG BONG noise... now the -> button will make you skip 30 seconds and just like that, no more Enzyte!

I couldn't say all of that if it wasn't true...

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SigmundTheSeaMonster
August 28, 2008 8:42 PM
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He's likely going to serve in one of those \"golf course\" federal prisons since his is a white collar offense.
And he'll be out in 7 years on good behavior.
Our tax dollars at work.

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hapless
August 28, 2008 10:32 PM
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@SigmundTheSeaMonster: The \"white collar\" prisons are actually much LESS luxurious than proper federal prisons. To wit, minimum security units are usually \"prison camps,\" used for temporary staging of prisoners, prisoners who are near release, white collar convicts etc.


That means they're much less violent places to be.


It also means there may be few or no facilities. You're less likely to have private cells, TV, air conditioning, etc.


I think I'd probably rather be in a high-security facility. Shine up my handball game, get really, really familiar with the price is right etc.

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5thAveCocaine
August 28, 2008 8:48 PM
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Does this mean I'll get my money back?

Um, I mean, uh, my penis is huge, I would never need this product, and if you bought it, you have a small penis, and are therefore less of a man than I am...

NASCAR!!!

WHOOOOOOOO!!!

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Jabronimus
August 28, 2008 9:07 PM
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This is AWESOME!!

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Nofsdad
August 28, 2008 9:16 PM
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California won a similar case against the company about a year ago... the commercials, which only appear around here on Comcasts low end digital package, disappeared for about a month and then they were right back again, nothing changed.

Comcast will advertise anything.

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SunsetKid
August 28, 2008 9:23 PM
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As I was reading this post, another of their commercials popped up during The Daily Show. Hope Comcast gets STIFFED with the bill.

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trujunglist
August 28, 2008 9:33 PM
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Go directly to jail (in 30 days). Do not pass Go. Do not collect $500m.

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jwissick
August 28, 2008 10:59 PM
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Why is this guy still on TV? I still see these ads!

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gareki.ga.haikyo.ni
August 29, 2008 1:41 AM
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Hold it just a minute here. The claim that Enzyte could improve the turgidity of the penis is not completely without merit. (Certainly though it won't increase the size of the penis.)

I just went to Enzyte's website to see what was in it. Of particular interest to me are:

Niacin
Zinc
Copper
Korean Red Ginseng
Ginkgo Biloba
L-Arginine HCL
Saw palmetto berry

Niacin can increase blood flow (although this tends to be very unpleasant). This is called niacin flushing. I take niacin on a regular basis and when I take unusually large doses, my whole body becomes bright red; I experience rather painful pinprick sensations all over my body; and my heart rate increases.

Zinc has been purported by some to be able to increase libido. Such claims have not been verified by any scientific studies, but neither have they been falsified. (Zinc can be quite toxic, though, so be careful.)

A deficiency of copper can lead to a deficiency of dopamine synthesis and dopamine, being arguably the most important neurochemical, mediates a large variety of brain functions, notably libido.

Red korean ginseng and ginkgo biloba may not have any direct effect on libido or strength of erection but they may be able to increase mental alertness and energy, which are important elements of satisfying sexual activity.

The presence of the amino acid l-arginine is what really struck me. I wasn't able to remember all the roles of arginine in the body, so from wikipedia:

* Precursor for the synthesis of Nitric Oxide (NO)
* Stimulation of the release of the most important anti-aging hormone in the body, growth hormone.
* Improves immune function
* Reduces healing time of injuries (particularly bone)
* Reduces risk of heart disease
* Increases muscle mass
* Reduces adipose tissue body fat
* Helps improve insulin sensitivity
* Helps decrease blood pressure
* Alleviates male infertility, improving sperm production and motility
* Increases circulation throughout the body, including the sex organs

The presence of saw palmetto is the rub, because saw palmetto acts as an inhibitor of 5-alpha-reductase (which converts testosterone into dihydrotestosterone which is three times more potent than testosterone) and it also acts as an oestrogen, decreasing libido and contributing to erectile dysfunction. On the other hand, because it inhibits the production of dihydrotestosterone it can help in the treatment of benign prostatic hyperplasia which is the build-up of tissue within the prostate, which can dispose one to the development of prostate cancer and make it rather difficult to urinate and, I suspect, have satisfying sex.

It is likely that if Enzyte has any effects on the enjoyability of sex, whether positive or negative, these effects are seen only after a number of months of supplementation. I am not convinced at this point that Enzyte couldn't ever do anything to improve the sex lives of at least a small percentage of those taking it.

The claims of the manufacturers of Enzyte are about as valid and predicated on science as those of ANY supplement manufacturer. If this guy should be going to jail then almost every other vitamin and supplement manufacturer should as well.

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madog
August 29, 2008 5:48 AM
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@gareki.ga.haikyo.ni: To add further:

Iif you have actually seen any of the commercials they are HIGHLY misleading. They basically refer to to increasing the actual SIZE of your penis and not just getting better erections or increasing blood flow.

\"Federal prosecutors accused the company of bilking customers out of $100 million through a series of deceptive ads, manipulated credit card transactions and refusal to accept returns or cancel orders.\"

THAT's why he is going to jail. Not because of the product itself but because of their obvious lies and deceit

As a side note, this is the most disappointing part of the article:

\"Spiegel said the company, which likely will be hit with the majority of the forfeiture, will be allowed to remain in business.\"

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madog
August 29, 2008 5:38 AM
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@gareki.ga.haikyo.ni: That all may be true, however, he is going to jail for misleading millions of customers and not providing refunds for anyone.

\"93 counts of conspiracy, fraud and money laundering.\"

Sure there are plenty of other crazy vitamin supplements and \"ancient chinese remedies\" but that doesn't mean you are allowed to steal money from people.

As for the grandmother, I really don't care how old she is...

\"Warshak's mother, Harriet Warshak, was sentenced to two years in prison. She was convicted of conspiracy and other charges.

\"I have grandchildren,\" she said. \"The time I have left, I'd like to spend with them. I don't think it's fair to take me away from them.\"\"

All I have to say is, and forgive me for my language but I think is absolutely necessary here, \"Fuck you, you old bag\". I really don't think it's fair to TAKE MILLIONS from people illegally or otherwise helping your son do so. So honestly, I wouldn't mind it if you died within those two years you should be spending in prison.

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ninjatoddler
August 29, 2008 1:50 AM
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Looks like Steve Warshak's going to meet some \"hardened\" criminals.

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frankblevins
August 29, 2008 1:55 AM
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Soooo...this stuff doesn't work? Hmmmm.

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jimmydeweasel
August 29, 2008 3:25 AM
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Hey the Enzyte worked for me. I have to push a wheelbarrow where ever I go just to hold my package.

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AgentTuttle
August 29, 2008 3:52 AM
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If she ever says you're small, just put it in her butt. She'll take it back every time. Sam Kinison joke.

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quizmasterchris
August 29, 2008 4:26 AM
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This is long past due.

Now can we please lock up the HeadOn and related homeopathic scammers?

The worst is the homeopathic pet spray product. People might be deluded by a placebo effect, but pets aren't.

The people behind the homeopathy non-medications need to go to prison too.

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Green Goth Brit Chick - AlternatEve
August 29, 2008 11:22 AM
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To the person making the comparison between the mother and Mafia Dons with cancer - She didn't kill anyone. Mafia Dons did, or were expressly involved in ordering it.

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EBone
August 29, 2008 9:23 PM
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I wonder if the actor who plays \"Bob\" on the commercials ever gets crap from people on the street over the annoying ads or product?

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banmojo
August 30, 2008 2:17 PM
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1. 93k doesn't pay for 25 yrs in jail - BULLSHIT that we have to pay for our criminals to eat/live/sleep with a roof over their heads

2. prison's not the place for this guy - put him to work convincing people that our government is still 'of, by, and for the people' - sure, it's bullshit, we all know this, but maybe he can help us believe the lie a bit better than our sheister politicians.

3. Smiling Bob and his pussy contented wife should move on to star in porn films now - it'd be a niche project, but they'd have an active audience, I'm sure of that. Especially if they expound (heh heh heh, I said 'exPOUND'!) on the whole santa claus, all the office ladies on his lap story ;^)

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Patrick Omundson
January 16, 2009 6:35 AM
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Whistling enzyte jingle is theorized to stimulate
nitric oxide(NO2)absorption through the soft tissues
behind the upper lip...making your nose grow.

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Waverly V Phillips
April 23, 2009 5:41 PM
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He better hope those dudes in Fed Prison aren't taking Enzyte. Make way for Grunting Gary the Enzyte spokesman.

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trungngo13
April 27, 2011 1:11 PM
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Well businesses out there who think they can get away with such scammy websites and products will need to think twice before now. They really made a good example out of Enzyte, save consumers out of millions of dollars. But keep in mind there are still many scammy male enhancement website out there. Keep on the lookout for them.

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