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You know my rose hips don't lie, and i'm startin' to feel ya boy
You know my rose hips don't lie, and i'm startin' to feel ya boy
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So you drank Drank and drink didn't get you drunk. That's Crunk.
Good write up! You are correct, anyone over 21 need not apply to these nonsense energy or anti-energy drinks when we can get wine 2 for $10 and get T to the ANKED in a hurry.
Just buy some Valerian root online or from an herb store. Soak it in vodka in a jar in the sun (seriously) for a couple weeks. Drain the vodka into a medicine dropper bottle through a funnel and add a few drops of the tincture to your favorite herbal tea. I've used it to help me sleep and I wake up feeling super chilled-out.
Warning: may smell like feet.
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I think it's like the fake ecstasy scene in \"Go\": It works better if you smoke lots of weed while you're dranking it.
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I think I'd go with the more traditional anti-energy drink - a Manhattan.
Possibly the best written review I've ever read. And I've read a lot.
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I'd love to be at the design meeting...\"what flavor should we make this drink for our target demographic?\" \"Grape drink!\" Something about that just strikes me as stereotyping.
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Besides the health reasons to avoid high fructose corn syrup (and the artifical flavorings and colorings) HFC, like any sugar is a stimulant. This kinda negates the effects of the valerian.
Melatonin must be taken on a regular basis, and timed in relation to night and day, to help your sleep cycle. It's often recommended for international travelers to reset their internal clocks, but it has to be used in a specific wall.
I suspect that both the valerian and melatonin are in token amounts anyhow.
All that being said, I don't want to buy a product that requires a slang dictionary to understand the product benefits. Slow my roll? I see potential marketing opportunities for a whole family o products. What about a drink to brake my biscuit? Make my croissant crawl? Make my crepe creep?
God why did I read this? Now I must have some for my own trials!
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@AlteredBeast: Seems like a conscious nod to Chapelle, putting it in a purple can. And not to mention the name itself, while the correct past tense of drink, is clearly ebonics
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@White Speed Receiver: That is a great review. Maybe Drank should advertise that it inspires the blogger's inner poet.
@RabbitDinner: Really? All that is missing are the Grape Flavored Stoggies (awesome blunt wrappers) and some watermelon starbursts and a brother is set.
@SkokieGuy: Yes, I forgot to mention-although I hope everyone realizes- that having HFCS be the biggest ingredient besides water probably negates whatever effect the other stuff might cause.
@RabbitDinner: It is a nod to Britney Spears who, at the depths of her craziness, used to mix up cough syrup, soda, and various other chemicals and called it her \"Purple Drank,\" the \"drank\" being \"drink\" pronounced with a distinct southern accent.
They have this stuff all over Houston, considering H-town is the leaning capital of the world. I miss New Orleans.
Ha, New Or\"LEANS\".
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Grape Soda
Liquid Valerian root Extract (2oz): $11.59
[www.vitaminshoppe.com]
Liquid Melatonin (2oz): $7.98
[www.vitaminshoppe.com]
Rose Hips (4oz): $16.97
[www.vitaminshoppe.com]
$36.54 for Supliments
+ Grape Soda, Mix to taste/Strength
VS
12-pack of Drank: $36
Britney Spears makes a special \"purple drank\" that's a mix of Diet Sprite, prescription-strength cough syrup with coedine, and sometimes painkillers. She also takes the anti-depressant Zoloft and sleep aid Ambien, which is why she's often spaced-out. A source says \"she brags to everyone about her 'purple drank'\"
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Awesome. I wish I was a blogger, sleeping on the couch with the dogs and getting paid the big blogger bucks.
Did you try setting it on fire a la a Flaming Moe (or more accurately a Flaming Homer)?
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Excellent review. I'm sure it's hard to come up with a legal equivalent to mixing grape soda with cough syrup, but darn if they didn't try.
\"When I mixed a drink of Drank with vodka and drank that Drank drink, I didn't feel anything.\"
This will go down in history as the best sentence that was ever written on the Consumerist.
Congrats. You win an internet.
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Anyone remember \"scissor\"--it was a big fad in hip-hop clubs in the South in the late 90s. I think it was cough syrup and orange soda...and I vaguely remember Three Six Mafia wrote a song about it.
Of course, it was the late 90s and my memory...he not so good, eh?
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Or you could put some golf on tv, smoke a joint and eat some Doritos. Much more effective.
@Egg Yolkeo: I used to put Valerian root tea bags in my Ex's car when we were going out. Let them brew over night, or in the school parking lot all day, and I would get angry text messages. My GOD did they smell like feet.
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Saying valerian root is weaker than Valium is misleading.
Comparing the sedative effects of a Valium tablet to the same quantity of valerian root, you would see the root as weaker.
Comparing the same quantities of highly refined valerian extract to Valium though, produces different results. Refined valerian extract can be every bit as effective, milligram for milligram, as Valium. And one of the more interesting characteristics of valerian is the sedative chemical works with skin contact, it doesn't need to be ingested.
Just started selling it here in Texas, and some friends and I tried it. Smoking and drinking are definitely more effective, and combined with either, works really well for a chill night. If you need some sleep and don't want a hangover or medicine that lasts a long time, it's pretty effective. It's like a light body high. Definitely not a \"hey, let's have a Drank and then go to a party\" beverage, though.
@Egg Yolkeo:
@Git Em SteveDave: In the extensive research I did while we were \"reviewing\" drank, I came across a few scholarly references to the \"dirty sock\" smell of valerian root. It's legit.
@AlteredBeast: Drank, the purple color, the flavor, all come from the 'real' drank, which is some 'street' conconction that has killed at least two prominent rappers. (I use the word prominent very loosely)
When I've used it, I've mixed it with Chamomile, which smells kind of funky anyway, IMO.
Fun fact #2: My cats love the dried root more than catnip.
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The most known unknown has an anti-energy drink? Awesome!
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A single (25mg) Benadryl = the 'PM' Tylenol and Advil PM. Two of them = a Unisom softgel sleeping pill.
Toss in a few more, and you have a recreational hallucinogenic.
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@Alex Chasick:
\"I got the red promethazine, the orange and yellow tuss. Hydrocodone on the hands free phone\". Lyrical genius I tell you! (That's one of the more memorable lines from the song \"Sippn' on some Sizzurp\")
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@Alex Chasick: Now that I've seen a link to Jezebel along with Britney and Three6Mafia references on Consumerist, I shall retire from The Interwebs.
/Meaning I'm not going to be productive for a while
//Not Drank induced
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Three 6 Mafia reference on the Consumerist ftmfw!
Valerian root caps cost about $10 for 250. It's the perfect relaxer, I find. 1 or 2 a day puts me in a really nice mood. I don't mind the dirty sock small/taste, I think of it as more like the smell of Italian spice...
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Coming next month: ANTIDON'T, the two in one anti-anti energy and anti-energy beverage that will negate the effects of both Drank and Red Bull, restoring your energy level to a perfectly normal state as though you had consumed nothing at all.
\"The poison is free... but how much would you pay for the ANTIDON'T?\"
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Valerian Root \"may\" smell like feet?? DOES smell like feet. That stuff is the nastiest smelling root ever. Whatever you do, don't leave any of it exposed in a warm area, like your kitchen counter, or your car. I know someone who spilled some in her back seat before going on vacation, and she finally had to sell the car just to get away from the smell.
Another friend of mine sews it into sachet bags/toys for kitties - they LOVE the smell. My older cat will actually hold the bag against her head and drool all over it. Yick.
Try the actual thing. Prometh with Codeine is no joke
My opinion on the HFCS comments is that you are incorrect about it having a stimulant effect. Usually a short time after ingesting a large amount of sugar your body has produced enough insulin to actually drop your blood sugar below what it was when you started, leading to loss of energy.
I made it to the bottom of the comments and I'm still laughing out loud.
Best product review on Consumerist.
Ever
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Do I see some totally badass borosilicate double old fashioned glasses in the picture? They're definitely not heavy base.
\"When I mixed a drink of Drank with vodka and drank that Drank drink, I didn't feel anything.\"
I love this sentence far too much.
What's the dosage of melatonin in there? Five or six milligrams is enough to knock the average person out.
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\"When I mixed a drink of Drank with vodka and drank that Drank drink\"...
Dr. Suess, awesome!
@Jesse in Japan: Each can contains 2 mg of melatonin total but the serving size suggested by the people at Drank is only half of the can. There was also a warning on the side not to drink more than two servings per day or else you might lean too far or even stop your roll.
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This is an excellent and informative feature, truly what Consumerist is all about.
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The first (and last) time I tried valerian root, I slept like a rock.
I also had nightmares all night.
What fun. Especially when you can't quite wake up.
My guess is that there's much less valerian in this stuff. But I'm not going anywhere near it.
beautiful.
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If you want something that will really chill you down drive or walk to the closest Hispanic store and ask for \"Linden Tea\". It comes in a package that cost, on average $0.99 and it is way more powerful than Valeriana.
In regards to \"Drank\", it works, and it works fine. When I read that it costs $3.00 I thought....that I....what the ....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
RED BULL VODKA RULEZ! If you are trying to get drunk without tasting alcohol then you should not be in the business of drinking spirits... l actually enjoy the taste of both vodka and red bull.... I might also actually be an alcoholic so who knows...
This was the most worthless article ever, and the only redeeming part was the I'mma gunna buyou.... a Draaaank video.
So you bought the product, went to sleep twice after drinking it, and proclaimed it worthless? Yes, the product is likely crap, but how can you come to that conclusion from your test unless you set about writing a column disparaging that product from the beginning?
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Is this why everyone drives so slow in the Tremé? I just always thought they were stoned...
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That's why you gotta git some chicks and \"BUY YOU A DRANK!\"
@Egg Yolkeo: Yep. Alternately, you can use water, though making a traditional hot tea is (as I understand it) not the best thing for preserving its properties.
And yes, it smells and tastes like dirt. Or feet. I've found, though, that it mixes quite well with Bushmill's Black Bush, which tastes like alcoholic feet.
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@defeatism: What is it with people and Pulitzer on this site? Is it some kind of new sarcastic meme?
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I haven't seen so many \"drank\"s since my fifteenth birthday party (parents foolishly left the house: what is the worst that could happen? What?!
Here's hoping our corporate overlords \"keep it real\" with a FDA-friendly version of glue-sniffing next (scratch-n-sniff!) followed by a horse equivalent in Pixie Straws, called \"Doherty\".
All I know? Alex, you're cordially invited to my next party. We'll try to brew up something with a stronger kick for you than Drank.
And boy are we well-practiced!
gotta love that vicodin vrrriiinnnggg vrrriiinnnggg vrrrriiiinnnggg . i loved it too much as a result i would do anything to get it. things are better now tho. grape soda
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I drink Bawls with vodka. So what?
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Gotta love this hard hitting investigative reporting...
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\"Valerian root is what the doctor in Fight Club advised Tyler Durden to chew when he couldn't sleep.\"
I'm surprised no one has pointed out yet that the doctor didn't tell Tyler Durden to chew on Valerian root - he told \"The Narrator\" to chew it. Duh.
I needs this \"EL YESTERDAY\" it will help get through those...\"let's move the couch over here\" discussions with the misses
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\"When I mixed a drink of Drank with vodka and drank that Drank drink\" <-- My hero!
This stuff sounds ridiculous. If you really want nearly the exact possible effects of this Drank drink, just go buy a bottle of Valerian Root capsules and take a few of those...
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You want to lean? Get some methadone or fentanyl and I promise you will lean.
Damn, for $1 I can get a large Arizona can of Grapeade, for $3 I can have a party.
$3 is only two St. Ides away from sleepytime.
Excellent review, Consumerist. I would like to hawk my own liver for testing the next round of pseudopharmadrinks.
Just pop a melatonin if you need to sleep or relax. It takes the edge off and you don't feel groggy in the morning.
@AlteredBeast: I wonder if fake grape is the only flavor that covered up the awfulness of Valerian. My aunts used to mix it with mint leaves before boiling it into a tea and it was still the most wretched thing I've ever smelled/tasted.
So congratulations Drank if you can make that stuff drinkable. Children of old school European Peasants around the world will thank you.
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I've been an insomniac most of my life and recently started on a medication that made it much worse. I started taking melatonin, I think in 3 mg doses, each night and it's made a huge difference.
There's really no sleepy period before falling asleep. I'm awake, and then I'm asleep. So using it recreationally doesn't really make sense.
It does give you very vivid and strange dreams though. Last night I was hanging from a helicopter with Jon Favreau. The night before I was making salad with Marilyn Manson when a worm came out of the lettuce and chased us around. He screams like a girl, by the way.
Are you referring to that noise in your ears whilst under the influence of Vicodin?
I thought I was the only one who experienced that!
The AVClub did this first.
The real question is whether you'll man up and face the Rain.
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This is such crap. Your fiancee better do some more homework. Melatonin is a natural sleep aid supplement, and is trusted and recommended by many pharmacists and doctors as a natural and safe sleep aid.
The last thing we need is a PharmD spreading FUD.
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I'd better stay away from this stuff. If my roll were any slower I'd be moving backwards.
Thanks for taking one for the team, Alex.
just mix dimetapp and for the same effect, minus carbonation.
I've \"drank\" this three times and each time it has worked pretty well at removing all of my energy. The biggest test was giving two cans to my brother who had just woken up from a decent sleep. An after after chugging two cans of this stuff he was out for a 90 minute-ish nap. The funny thing about it is that I buy the stuff from a truck stop and it is mixed right in between all the energy drinks... not a good place if you ask me.
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You deserve a Pulitzer.