One of my only amusements when I was a checker at Wal-Mart was speculating on what people were doing with their condoms-and. Okay, so I'm not nineteen anymore and sometimes you really just do need condoms, a socket wrench, dog food, and fishing lures. But if I wasn't getting some entertainment for my $6.15 an hour, I was going to have to kill myself.

Or something.

Strange.

The only way that could get weirder is if it had a rebate attached to it.

It's like a grocery store, crossed with a K-Mart, mixed with a liquor store, ON CRACK. They have all the normal grocery store stuff, and then there's an "institutional foods" aisle where you can buy 15-lb tubs of dehydrated potatoes to feed the prison inmates. They sell clothes. They sell crafty stuff (good needlework section!). They sell office supplies. They sell lawnmowers. They sell garden plants. They sell guns. They sell fish. They sell scented candles. I mean, seriously, you name it, Meijer sells it.

They're usually open 24 hours, and where I lived in Indiana, it was where all the Amish shopped for store-boughten stuff. So we'd go in semi-drunk at 4 a.m. and there would be buggies and horses in the parking lot and Amish in the store who were ALREADY AWAKE for the day and doing a little shopping before the roads got too busy for horse-and-buggy ... and drunk college students looking for something to do at 4 a.m.

Awesomest. Store. Ever.

Seriously, though, what is this "Meijer" you speak of? (It seems we don't have it in Canada.)

Most people calculate with ten digits. But for larger numbers they have to use their toes, but the socks make this cumbersome. A calculator then comes in handy.

Again, why cant we learn how to count in binary with our fingers? You even have two hands to represent two different numbers and you can perform whatever operation you wish. It only takes two hands for math.

"If you can't find it at Meijer". So far I can't think of anything I can't find if I look hard enough (I much prefer it to WalMart).

My only annoyance is that they seem to be on to me with their rotisserie chicken at some stores. After some hours if they have too many chickens, they will price them 40-50% off. Two and I'm set with food for a week, and it's really good chicken. Now even with people hovering around the time their deli department closes, the chickens simply disappear. Not at all stores though.

My college Meijer carried flamethrowers. In the aisle next to the live goldfish. I loved that store.

... One of these times Meaghann's in Chicago, the Chicago-area Consumerist Cabal will have to have a pub crawl.

And because someone is surely going to be quick to point out my error, I _know_ that the "digits" in question refer to the display on the LCD and not the buttons. It was a JOKE.

Buy a large pizza get a free putter.